


night and day

by thegirlwiththeottertattoo



Category: Power Rangers (2017)
Genre: Action Violence, Day Four, F/F, Ladyhawke AU, Trimberly Week, True Love, actual birds of prey, all right fine i'll add ANGST to the tags, also Trimberly Week Day Six, also high school age rangers, elementary school age rangers, large wolves, medieval times, supernatural stuff occurs, that literally no one asked for, various scenes of punching and kicking
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-02
Updated: 2017-09-13
Packaged: 2018-12-10 03:59:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 12
Words: 104,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11683566
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirlwiththeottertattoo/pseuds/thegirlwiththeottertattoo
Summary: They fall in love and are then cursed. Literally. Will they be able to find a way to break the curse before it's too late?Trimberly Week, Day Four. Supernatural... and also Day Six, different time period.





	1. Part I - night

**Author's Note:**

> So here's my entry for Trimberly Week day 4, Supernatural. This got completely out of hand at some point, and now I've got it mapped out for like four chapters. I've got two completed (hopefully I'll be able to post it tomorrow). The concept and some of the plot for this is taken from a sort of cheesy 80s fantasy movie that I watched way too much when I was a kid called Ladyhawke. If you want to go look up the plot on wikipedia you can, but that's where I got the idea from. Anyway it's got supernatural elements in it and all that so I figure it counts. It's a little weird so hopefully you guys enjoy it. This is supposed to take place in France during the 1400s, so assume everyone is speaking French when they're speaking English (and I also acknowledge that the language is often anachronistic).

**Part I -** _night_

_Sometimes Kimberly feels like the only good thing she’s ever done is fall in love, even though it seems at times like the only thing it's brought her is pain. Pain that feels like it's entirely her fault._

_She remembers the last time they were together, really together (not just a handful of minutes between dawn and dusk where all they have time to do is make sure the other is still alive and well) like it was yesterday. And in a way, it was yesterday. Her entire life since that moment seems like sort of extended bad dream. Always moving. Always hiding. There have been times when she’s considered whether it was even worth it to keep trying. Days when the only thing that kept her going was a well timed joke from Zack or a solid, comforting hug from Jason._

_The fact that they were still here, that they had stood by her (by them both) was overwhelming to her. She didn’t feel she’d ever done anything to deserve it, but she knew that she couldn’t give up entirely because then everything they’d sacrificed, all that they’d endured would be for nothing._

_It doesn’t help that every passing day brings them closer to the moment when they won’t be able to salvage this, when they’ll be living in twilight and dawn for the rest of their lives._

_But most days, the fact that they’re both alive is enough. The fact that there’s still a chance they can be together again, truly together, not this half-life they’ve lived for nearly two years, can keep her going. One night at a time. That’s all she can do._

_It’s enough because it has to be._

+++ 

Billy Cranston’s mother always assured him that there was nothing wrong with him, that he was unique, special, that he had amazing gifts. But she’d also told him that the world wasn’t ready for him to share those gifts, that they wouldn’t understand. That he would have to hide them because to show them could be a disaster.

And he knew she was right because whenever he accidently let something slip, whenever he talked too long or too fast, or didn’t laugh when someone made what he figured was a joke, or took something seriously when he wasn’t supposed to, people would look at him sidelong. Sometimes they were just confused, but sometimes… sometimes if his mind got too far ahead of his mouth and he wasn’t being careful, he started talking about his research, and the looks become less confused and more what his mother called hostile. The hostile faces were the ones he had to be careful of. Always.

The day his life changed forever started just like any other. His mother went to work in the morning just like usual. She was one of the assistant cooks in the kitchens up in the Bishop’s house and had for as long as Billy could remember. Back when he was younger she took him with her, but the older he got, the less understanding the head cook was of him being around, and the more worried his mother got of someone finding out about his research, so now she left him at home, even though he knew she didn’t like leaving him alone for too long.

Mostly he kept to himself, staying in and reading one of his books. When his mother had first realized how smart he was, he’d found a man who tutored him. The man was old, eccentric, grumpy, but Billy was mostly immune to his moods and his surliness, and once the man realized Billy’s potential he had stopped being so dismissive of him and started really teaching him. On Billy’s sixteenth birthday, after seven years of tutoring, the man declared that he had taught Billy everything he could, gifted him half his library and then sent him on his way. When the old man died a few months later, he left Billy the other half of his library.

At night, he looked the sky through the telescope he had built based on the illustrations in one of the books. He never went out. Or rather, he rarely went out.

Occasionally his mother would set him small tasks to do, errands to run, like picking up packages she’d already arranged. It was easy and routine and the shopkeepers were kind enough to him because they liked his mother. On that particular fateful day, she’d asked him to go to the baker to pick up some bread. He spent most of the morning doing calculations on the positions of the stars he’d noted last night, and then he set out for the baker.

And somehow, that short trip had brought him to where he is now, crashing through the woods, lungs straining, muscles burning, trying to escape from armed men who want to throw him in the Bishop’s dungeons…

He wasn’t even entirely sure what happened. One minute he was standing in line, and then a rat faced boy with red hair was bumping into him, hard. The satchel Billy always carried, old and worn as it was, had split open, and his notebook had spilled out, along with his ink and the quill he always kept in his bag in pristine order. He’d knelt down immediately, trying to put it all back in place, but having a hard time because the red haired boy was talking to him. His words and his tone were cruel. The baker had come out of his shop and was telling the boy to go away. Someone had knelt next to Billy to try to help him gather his things, which was even more upsetting somehow, and Billy started to get that buzzing in his head he always did when things started to overwhelm him.

Before it could get too much worse, everything had suddenly gone quiet Everyone around him seemed to freeze and they’d backed away from him as though they’d all been stung. The only one who remained near was the red haired boy, who was being held in place by the baker.

Billy, still reeling from the distress of the moment, had looked up to see a four man patrol of the Bishop’s guards approaching. No wonder everyone had gone quiet. The Bishop had absolute power here, and his guards were known to exercise that authority in unpredictable ways… yet another reason Billy usually stayed out of sight. Handling unpredictable situations wasn’t always his strong suit. He continued to shove things back into his satchel (the strap was broken, but the bag itself was still whole). As he reached for his notebook, gloved hand beat him to it.

His eyes followed the movement, and he stood in order to keep the book in sight. He didn’t look at the face of the man who held it.

“What is going on here, then?” asked the man holding his book, using it to gesture at him and at the baker. Billy thought his voice was low and calm, but the baker was standing stiff, and his normally friendly round face had gone motionless and grim. Billy wasn’t great at reading moods, but he knew enough to know when something bad was happening.

The baker spoke now, “This man was harassing one of my customers for no reason.”

“He’s a freak!” spat the red haired boy. “We’ve all seen him wandering about talking to himself about heresy and nonsense.”

The baker opened his mouth to protest, but he was cut off by the guard, who was looking at the book in his hand, “Heresy? Surely not. Such a… peaceful looking boy.”  And then he opened the book, flipped slowly through the pages, and saw what Billy had written…

That’s when they’d grabbed him by the arms and began wrestling him towards the castle, his bag still clutched in his hands. Billy could barely think with their hands on him. It was making his skin crawl, but somehow he managed to latch on to a single thought.  His mother. What was it his mother had told him… if someone was to find out about him, if they looked like they were going to hurt him or take him away…

_“Don’t worry about me, Billy. If someone tries to take you away, just run.”_

And so when the men got distracted by a commotion up the street (someone being robbed perhaps?), he had kicked out at one of them. In their sheer surprise, they dropped his arms, and he’d run towards the edge of town as fast as his legs could carry him.

+++

He thought they would give up once they got into the forest. The forest outside town was supposedly haunted. Everyone had heard the stories. People strayed off the path and were devoured by foul creatures or attacked by evil spirits and returned changed and incurable. Everyone claimed to know someone who had seen something.

Billy thought the stories were silly. Logically, he didn’t thing such things could exist, so when he got to the forest, he didn’t hesitate to split off from the path. However, evidently the Bishop’s men weren’t as superstitious as Billy’s neighbors because they crashed in after him. He’d evaded them as well as he could, but unfortunately it wasn’t that well. He had no experience of being chased, or of being in the woods outside of what he had read in one of his old teacher’s books.

He was crashing loudly through the underbrush, he had no idea how to walk without sound. And he was tiring quickly as he ran between trees and through bushes, thorns snagging on his clothes, sweat running down his back. He knew his mother would be upset when she saw the state of his shirt. She spent so much time cleaning and mending his clothes when his experiments didn’t go the way he wanted.

It was also getting darker. The sun had just sunk beneath the horizon as he crashed through a thick copse of trees and into a clearing… a clearing with someone’s camp set up in it.

There are two well used, oft mended but sturdy canvas tents set up around a fire pit. There’s an iron pot suspended over a fire pit with a low fire burning in it, but no people around. Billy wanted help, but for all he knows the people here were as bad as the men following him.

Unfortunately, the moment he’s taken to examine the camp has slowed him up enough that the Bishop’s men have caught up with him. The four of them have crashed through the bushes behind him, and Billy grunts as the lead man slams into him hard from behind, bearing him to the ground and knocking the wind from his lungs. The guard, huge, unwashed and stinking of mead, grabs Billy and in one swift movement, pulls him roughly to his feet and turns him around. Then he punches Billy hard in the face, and he falls to the ground again, landing hard, feeling as though his left cheek is exploding. He can taste blood in his mouth.

The guard goes down on one knee next to Billy and grabs him by his collar, pulling his top half off the ground and growling, “That’s for making us run, you piece of shit!” right in his face. Billy cringes, the man’s proximity making his skin crawl for a hundred different reasons.

The guard leader, the one who had spoken to Billy and the baker back in town, is still holding the notebook, “Running only makes it harder on you, my boy,” he says, his voice still deceptively calming, matter of fact. He gestures with the book, “You should have come quietly. Now we must make of you a lesson…”

The guard holding him pulls back his fist and punches him again in the same place he did before. Pain explodes through Billy’s  head again, this time accompanied by a little light show behind his eyes, and he groans loudly. He’s too stunned and distressed to even try to move or get away. The guard’s grip on his shirt is strong. The leader gestures to another one of the guards, this one small and lithe with the face of a weasel. The man holding him drops him roughly to the ground and gets out of the way as the smaller guard draws what looks like a black jack from his belt, covered in leather, weighted and cruel looking. The weasel man grins broadly as approaches, raising the weapon over his head.

Billy screws his eyes shut and braces himself as much as he can to take the hit… but then he hears a solid, fleshy _thunk_ , and a loud groan of pain. He looks up just in time to see the man who was about to hit him grab at the hilt of the dagger sunk into the center of his chest and fall heavily to the ground.

“Four against one doesn’t seem fair,” says a voice behind him. Despite the pain and fear still threatening to overwhelm him, Billy scrambles around so he can see the source of the voice, the guards having temporarily forgotten him. His left eye is swelling closed quickly, but he can still see relatively clearly. And what he sees is surprising.  There’s a woman standing in the entrance to the tent. In the light of the full moon above, she looks almost luminous. She’s wearing what looks like a cotton sleeping gown, light and loose. It might have once been dyed red, but now it’s faded to a sort of rose pink. Her hair is brown and slightly mussed and hangs loosely just above her shoulders, not at all like the hair of the women in town, who wear their hair long or pinned tight to their heads. Her feet are bare.

The leader glares at her, “That was foolish, woman. This was none of your affair, and now you have consigned yourself to the boy’s fate.”

“We’ll see,” she says. Her voice is confident and authoritative, almost eager. She’s moved into a defensive stance and is holding another dagger in her left hand and light sword in her right. Billy has never seen a woman do such a thing before, and it’s clear the Bishop’s men haven’t either. They can’t seem to get past the fact that she is a woman, they don’t seem to see what Billy sees: that this woman holds those weapons like they’re extensions of her arms. This is not the first time she’s fought…

He hears one of them chuckle, “Stand down, girlie. We don’t want to hurt you.”

“I very much doubt that, handsome,” she says, one eyebrow rising, “You have a choice here. Leave or I’ll make you regret that you came.”

The men laugh. The one who’d punched Billy says, “Hoff was my best friend. I’ll enjoy killing you, bitch…”

The woman’s mouth curls into a grin as hard as the look in her eyes, and Billy thinks that if he were one of the guards, he would run. “I was hoping you’d say that.”

Billy’s isn’t sure what the guards are expecting, but it’s probably not for the woman to come charging at them so fast she’s practically a blur. She makes such quick work of the men that he can barely keep track of her movements. She ducks under a sword, and dodges a fist before driving her dagger into the first man’s throat and slashing her sword hard across the chest of the second, knocking him back groaning. She pulls back her elbow, catching the nose of the third man who was trying to charge her from behind, then turns and runs him through.

Almost before Billy can register any of these things consciously, three more bodies are on the ground and the woman stands over them with a fierce look of satisfaction in her eyes. “They could at least have made an effort,” she mutters. She takes a deep breath and then looks at Billy.

“Are you all right?” she asks, her face and her tone significantly softer than it had been a moment ago. Her eyes are a dark brown and filled with concern. Her skin is a shade Billy has rarely seen. There are a few Moors like him in this part of the province, but this woman’s bronze skin is too light to be Moorish, but too dark to be native French, even if she got plenty of sun.

Billy nods a bit dumbly as he lets her help him to his feet, and once he’s standing, blood rushes to his face, and suddenly, he’s hit with a wave of throbbing pain. His eye is now well and truly swollen shut, and the whole left side of his face feels as large and round as a melon.

“Thank you,” he says, polite like his mother taught him, his words come out half muffled because of his face, and talking makes him ache, but he still can’t stop himself rambling, “I’m sorry I didn’t mean to come barging in, but they were chasing me, and I don’t even really know why. My mother just wanted me to buy bread, and then someone ran into me, and then the guards showed up… oh no my mother. She’ll be wondering where I am, and where her bread is, I can’t…”

The woman puts a hand on his arm gently to stop him, then removes it just as quickly when she sees him stiffen, looking just a little affronted by his reaction, although her words are soothing, not upset, when she speaks, “Don’t worry I won’t hurt you.”

“It’s not that it’s just…” Billy looks at the ground, feeling bad because this woman had just saved his life with the most impressive display of swordsmanship he’s ever seen in person. He didn’t want her thinking he didn’t appreciate it, but… “… I don’t like to be touched.”

Her brow furrows.

“Really, it’s not you…” he looks around at the clearing to avoid her seeing her face, and whatever hurt or confused or angry look might be there, and his eyes fall to his notebook. He exhales a huge sigh of relief and bends over to pick it up, reeling slightly when he stands, feeling light headed.

“Go easy, friend. You took a bit of a beating. My name is Kimberly,” she says it gently, and he feels like she’s probably trying to let him know that she understands he wasn’t trying to offend her.

“Billy. Billy Cranston, my friends call me Billy Cranston… not that I really have any friends I don’t go out a lot and when I do sometimes stuff happens that…”

Kimberly holds her hand up, still smiling, “I don’t mean to interrupt, Billy, but your face needs tending to,” she looks around at the men at her feet, that hard look crossing her face again (although there’s a certain satisfaction there as well). “As does this trash,” she mutters under her breath as she leads him slowly towards a crate set up by the fire as a makeshift chair. She settles him down gently and says, “I’ll be back in a moment. Don’t go anywhere.”

She heads back into the tent she’d come out of, and he can hear her moving things around inside. A part of him belatedly realizes that maybe he should be more wary of someone who just took out four guardsmen in less than a minute and hadn’t even broken a sweat, but she was being so kind to him that he almost felt bad for thinking she might not have the best intentions. His mother had always told him he needed to be more careful about who he trusts but…

Before he could complete his thought, there was a rustling in the woods he was facing towards, the ones behind the tents. He’s frozen in place, his mind suddenly in overdrive. What if it was more guards? Enough that even someone like Kimberly couldn’t handle them all? What if it was someone who wasn’t as nice as her… what if…

The rustling got louder and suddenly a huge brown shape burst out of the undergrowth and came charging across the camp. Crying out, Billy scrambles away in an inelegant tangle of limbs, falling off the crate backside first and frantically moving backwards, his eyes trained on the creature that’s now stopped about four feet away, watching him in a way that's far more calculating than he thought wild animals could be.

His panicked mind identifies it as a wolf. A _huge_ wolf, at least twice as big as any he’s ever read about. Its murderous yellow eyes are trained on him, ears back, teeth bared. He can see the powerful muscles beneath the dark brown coat of fur, flexing as it advances on him, slowly now. There’s a rumbling growl coming from deep in its throat, the kind of sound that’s been causing primal terror in human beings since the dawn of time. 

It stops again, a foot away now, and he thinks it might be getting ready to jump on him, crouching, muscles coiling. Billy braces himself for attack for the second time in less than a quarter hour… and for the second time the attack doesn’t come because of Kimberly.

He hears the tent flap rustle, and his eyes fly open. He opens his mouth to warn Kimberly that she needs to run, but the sight that greets him surprises him almost as much as the wolf’s sudden appearance had.

“Where have you been?” Kimberly asks conversationally. She doesn’t seem in the least bit worried that this massive wolf is standing here still glaring at him like he’s dinner. She’s changed her close and is now dressed like a man: leather vest worn over a roughspun linen shirt, and a pair of worn leather breaches, her feet now clad in sturdy leather boots. Her sword is sheathed on a belt at her waist and she has a leather satchel slung over one shoulder.

Her tone as she speaks to the wolf confuses him. It is chiding, Billy thinks, but fond, like the way his mother talks to him when she walks in and finds that Billy as forgotten to clean up one experiment before beginning another, or has neglected a chore in favor of working.

The wolf growls again (in response to Kimberly’s words??), but this time it’s more like a huff than a snarl.

“Leave the boy alone. It isn’t his fault you made an assumption,” she looks at Billy and shrugs apologetically, “Apologies. She doesn’t always have the best manners.”

“This is your… pet?” Billy asks, not quite sure what else to say.

Another growl. Not nearly so friendly. The wolf looks at him in a way that he thinks is meant to be reproachful. He’s not great with expressions on humans, though, so figuring out what a wolf is doing is a tiny bit beyond him. The message is fairly clear though: Not a pet.

Kimberly kneels in front of the wolf and puts her arms around its neck as easily as if she were greeting an old friend. But there’s something that tells him there’s more than that. Even with his difficulty grasping feelings, he can sense something between the woman and the wolf, and it’s almost… intimate. He feels like he’s intruding as he watches the girl bury her face in the thick fur at the wolf’s neck, eyes closed, everything about her relaxed and soft in a way it wasn’t even when she was trying to put Billy at ease. She’s entirely unguarded. The wolf has also relaxed and has her head draped over Kimberly’s shoulder. He thinks Kimberly is speaking to the wolf quietly, but he can’t make out what she’s saying.

After a long moment, Kimberly stands and the wolf rises from its crouch, no longer standing aggressively. She’s still powerful, still radiates danger, but she’s no longer coiled to strike, no longer angry, although her yellow eyes are still intense and guarded, almost human in the way they look at him now.

Which is, of course, ridiculous.  He’s heard the tales of half creatures and werewolves, but that’s old superstition, the kind of thing that holds men like the Bishop and his followers back. Billy is about progress. About science. It’s why his mother always tells him he’s destined for something great.

He forgets about the wolf briefly as Kimberly walks over and offers her hand to him again. He takes it and she rights the crate and sits him down on it again. The wolf nudges Kimberly in the side, looks up at her as if asking a question. She runs her hand over its sleek head and scratches briefly behind the ears, and nods, “Sleep. You know you’re always tired after you eat.”

The wolf trots a few feet away, curls up by the fire and takes a deep breath before going to sleep. Kimberly gives the animal another one of those nakedly fond looks again, and then turns back to Billy. She seats her self across from him on another crate, and puts the satchel down in front of her. She pulls out vials filled with different colored liquids and a roll of linen bandages.

“I’m not the best doctor we have, but I don’t think you’re hurt too badly. I can at least patch you up a bit. Then we can light the fire,” she looks at him carefully, “I’m going to need to touch you to do this, is that all right?”

Billy is intensely grateful for this simple question. His mother was the only one who ever asked him things like that. He nods, and then closes his eyes as she begins cleaning up his face with a soft linen cloth.

She begins humming softly as she works, and soon the humming turns to soft singing, her voice low and lovely, something about yearning and two souls as one and lost love. Her soothing hands and gentle song lull him, and by the time she’s done, he’s fallen asleep sitting up.

+++

Jason Scott doesn’t like leaving the women alone in the camp, and it has nothing to do with the fact that they’re women. He was a man of his time, and he had been raised to believe that women should hold a certain place, but he’d met Kimberly Hart when he was thirteen had left home to begin his training as one of her father’s personal guardsmen. The girl was a year younger than him and a half foot shorter, and he’d thought her father was being too indulgent when he’d told his master of arms to start training her alongside the guards. But he was quickly proven wrong.

Some of the other men had resented her, or laughed at her, but Jason had admired her immensely. As much as he’d been taught women had their place, his father had also told him that men should be judged on their own merits, and he had begun to think that maybe that included women too.

So he knew Kimberly was more than capable of taking care of herself, but that was part of the problem because she also had a serious temper and never backed down from a challenge if she could help it. If someone didn’t turn and walk away from the fight, she would go at them full speed no matter who they were. She’d spent nearly two years restless, and angry, and sad and sometimes so overwhelmingly depressed she could barely stand to get up out of bed. Any chance for a release was welcomed almost too enthusiastically. (Jason _hated_ sparring with her on her particularly bad days)

But they’d been running low on food and supplies and information, so he and Zack had ridden out to town to pick up what they could. The girls had to stay at camp because if they were identified it would be the end of all of them. It had only been a day and a half, but Jason knew that Kim was probably getting restless, and he never liked them to stay in one place for too long anyway, so he was anxious to get back.

His worst fears seem like they’ve been realized when they drive their small cart into camp at least two hours after midnight and take in the sight before them, illuminated by the nearly full moon. The wolf lies by the fire, eyes half open and tracking Kimberly as she moves with purpose around the camp. The wolf never took her eyes off Kim if she could help it. Kim herself was busy dragging a man who looked about twice her weight from the middle of the camp to the bushes near the edge, where she’d dug a deep trench. Her clothes were smudged with dirt and her face shone with sweat.  From his angle he could see that this was not the first body she’d deposited into the pit.

Zack grins, shaking his head as he slides off the wagon’s bench and starts unhitching the horses, “So ran into a little trouble then, Princess?”

Kim sends him a baleful look, and the wolf by the fire gives one of her blood curdling growls. Zack likes to push, but even Jason knows that calling Kim by that name is entirely off limits for either of them, “I just killed four men and this pit has room enough for at least one more,” she growls before she heaves the man into the pit with an unladylike grunt.

Zack raises his hands in surrender and shoots his most charming smile first at Kimberly and then at the wolf. It has little effect as per usual, “All right all right. But I’m pretty sure this isn’t what Jason meant when he told you to ‘Keep out of trouble’”

“Trouble came to me, thank you very much,” Kimberly retorts, looking over at Jason before she picks up the shovel leaning against the pile of dirt next to the pit and starts pouring dirt back into it, “And I’m cleaning up the mess. It’s fine.”

Jason walks over to the edge of the pit and looks down at the men. He groans, “It’s not _fine_ , Kimberly. Those are the Bishop’s men! You were supposed to take her and keep out of sight if they showed. I knew we shouldn’t have camped this close to town.”

“It’s not that close, and we’re a half mile from the path,” Kim says, her tone calm and logical, as though killing four of the Bishop’s troops was something completely reasonable, “And besides it wasn’t as though I had a choice. They were going to beat an innocent man within an inch of his life.”

“We have to stay safe, Kim. We can’t just trying to right every minor injustice we see…”

“If they were just harassing him or taking some coin, maybe. But they probably would’ve killed him. And you know as well as I do that if we don’t stop something like that we’re no better than…” she trails off but Jason knows who she’s talking about. And he knows she’s right. Which is annoying because Kim is always insufferable when she’s right.

He sighs, conceding the point without saying as much, “Where is this person you saved exactly?”

“The tent. He basically passed out while I was cleaning up his wounds.”

“Well, good to know he didn’t end up in the pit too.”

Kim gestures with her head towards the wolf who was now being given vigorous behind the ear scratches by Zack (which causes Kim to smile fondly), “Almost did. She came back from finding her dinner while I was changing clothes and fetching the supplies. Nearly gave him a heart attack.”

“So she almost killed someone?”

Kim’s smile drops instantly. She stops shoveling and turns to face him. He’s five inches taller than her but he suddenly feels like she’s towering over him. Some combination of an imperious regal manner that no amount of rough living can fully wash away and the fact that she’s got one hand on the hilt of her sword has him fighting the urge to take a step back. He stands his ground, but he knows that anyone who didn’t know her as well as he did would’ve retreated.

“I was _joking_ , Jason. She didn’t _do_ anything.”

“She _threatened_ an innocent man.”

“She saw a man surrounded by dead bodies in the middle of the camp and we were nowhere near.”

“You know that she’s always tracking you, Kimberly. She knew you were still alive.”

“But not that I was well. Just knowing I was in the tent and breathing meant nothing. She’s just protective. She’s _always_ been protective.  It’s not like she tackled him. She just growled at him a little. She calmed down as soon as I came out.”

"Kim..." he's not sure what to say now. Her stance is still fierce, but he can see her eyes shining. She knows that this hurts her. That talking about this is painful. That every moment of every night is painful.

She interrupts his thoughts, "And if she had truly threatened him? Then what? What would you propose we do, _Captain_?" she says the last word like she’s twisting a knife, and that’s when he knows she’s truly angry, because that’s the only time she goes out of her way to wound. And it works. The reminder of his old life, of _their_ old life and the way he failed them all still stings even after all this time. "Shall we put her down like an _animal_ , put her out of her _misery_?" and even as she says it he sees the anger being overtaken by sadness, the tears well and truly rolling down her face now, her voice cracking. 

She swipes at her face angrily, managing to spread more dirt over her nose, obviously upset that she's cracked like this. She hates to show this kind of weakness, and Jason doesn't like it either. It's not just that he hates to see his best friend in pain, it's knowing that starting down this road can lead to one of her dark days or worse.

Before he can respond, they hear a low huff and Jason looks down to see that the wolf has appeared at Kim's side, nuzzling her nose into Kim's side and looking up at her with calm yellow eyes. Kim buries her hand in the scruff of the wolf's neck and closes her eyes, her body relaxing, sagging slightly into the wolf's side as it remains standing solid and steady by her side, even though the tears continue to leak out of her eyes.

With her guard down, Jason can see how exhausted Kim is. The dark circles under her eyes, the way everything about her is half slumped now that she's relaxed even a little. He sighs. Kim is on edge. They all are. They all have been for a long time. He takes a step forward and takes the shovel from her. Her grip yields immediately. She opens her eyes and looks at him, the anger drained away, leaving only a sort of melancholy calm.

"Rest. You need sleep. I'll finish this."

Kim nods and reaches her free hand out, puts it over his on the shovel's handle, "I'm sorry, Jason," she says, "I didn't mean it. I'm just..."

"I know. I'm sorry too. I know you were only doing what you thought you had to," he gives her a half smile, a sort of peace offering, "Even if you were perhaps slightly more vigorous than necessary."

She gives him the ghost of a smile as well, "Well, you know I'm not one for half measures."

"No, indeed you're not."

He holds her gaze for a long moment, then she turns back toward the center of camp, leaving Jason to finish filling in the grave. He goes to it immediately, not even turning around to watch Kim walk away. He knows that if he did look, he would see the wolf settling down by the fire once more, now awake and vigilant, and Kim lying down next to her, head resting on the wolf's chest eyes closing. He knows she'll fall asleep to the strong, steady heartbeat she can hear there.

It’s not the most secure way to sleep, out in the open, but Jason can’t bring himself to discourage it. He knows the situation is nearly impossible, but he can’t take this away from Kimberly, from either of them. These small moments of imagined peace are all they really have these days.

He shovels dirt into the rapidly filling hole in silence for a while, and then he hears Zack walk up behind him, "I've sorted the supplies."

"Good."

"Is Kimberly all right?"

"As much as she ever is."

Zack sighs ruefully, "That good huh?"  He looks into the pit, "Bishops men?"

"Yes."

"That's going to be a problem,” it’s a statement not a question because they both know the Bishop notices everything and that he is not a forgiving man.

"Most likely."

"You know there's a man sleeping in the tent?"

"I was informed."

"Is that going to be an issue too?”

"It's a possibility. Especially since evidently he's seen the wolf."

Zack frowns, "A big issue then."

Jason just grunts, lifting the shovel again.

Zack waits for a few moments, the only sound the crackling of the fire and the shucking of the dirt. Then he says, "What are we going to do about it then?"

"What we always do."

"Stumble around in the dark until we blunder into a solution that somehow miraculously ends up with us escaping certain death at the last moment?"

He almost laughs at that, "You make our lives sound much more exciting than they are. But yes, something like that."

Zack nods and pats him on the shoulder, "I'm going to make some dinner" Then he retreats back towards the camp, leaving Jason alone with his thoughts again.

They have a new set of worries, yes, but they've survived this long on their wits and their luck, so perhaps it will continue that way. He hopes things will look better in the light of day and then laughs to himself for even daring to do so.  It's not like the daylight has ever held fewer dangers for them than the night.


	2. Part II - day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The sun rises. Breakfast is eaten. The adventure continues. Formal introductions are made.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The chapter summary pretty much says it all lol. Un-beta'd as usual, and I've read it through so many times it's starting to blur so if you spot any errors feel free to let me know.
> 
> (see end notes for Trimberly Week Day 5 info)

**PART II** \- _day_

_Every morning Trini wakes and feels like the last night was a dream. All she remembers are flashes, muddled and confused, smeared ink, images running into each other, nothing staying still long enough for her to grab onto. Words always muffled, never fully recalled, never entirely understood. There are so many frustrating things about this life, but this is one of the worst. She knows she has seen things, done things, that people have spoken to her, but she can never remember exactly. It's always just on the edge of conscious thought, a shadowy figure seen in her peripheral vision that evaporates like smoke when she turns to see it full on._

_Like the memory of a love that was so strong it can never fade, but which she can never fully have again. Maybe it would've been better if she just forgot it altogether. Maybe that would make this feel less like her heart was always being ripped out of her chest. Like every time the dawn comes, the wound is torn open again. It's the perfect form of torture._

_Sometimes she wishes that she'd never given in, never let her heart dictate her actions. She'd lived her whole short life hiding within herself, hiding who she was because she knew how dangerous it would be to reveal it. Later she refused to accept what she wanted because she had always figured she wasn't worthy of it. She was born poor, born nothing, and so it seemed pointless to hope for more, especially when “more” was a person everyone wanted. It could only ever end in tears. And so of course it seemed that the second she gave in, the second she let a set of beguiling brown eyes and the most amazing smile in the world break down all her carefully constructed walls, she was setting events in motion that would eventually ruin them._

_But such thoughts are fleeting, the stuff of her worst days. Even though the dawn is always painful, it also gives her hope. Seeing those eyes, that smile, no matter how briefly, gives her strength even as it makes her soul ache. It makes her resolve to keep fighting her way forward, to continue trying to find a way around fate._

_She would do anything, give anything, to be able to fix this, to fix them. She won't give up until there's no breath left in her body, until the second there is no more hope._

_She owes it to herself. She owes it to Zack and Jason. And she owes it to the woman who will always own her heart._

_+++_

Billy wakes up to the sound of voices and the smell of something cooking. He looks around and slowly realizes he’s not in his bedroom at home. He’s on a sleeping pallet on the floor of a canvas tent, and as he lies there staring at the ceiling, the events of the night come back to him. He was chased. He was injured. He was rescued. He was healed. He rolls over to get up and almost cries out the left side of his face hits the pallet. Well, he was mostly healed. 

He stands up. He’s still wearing the same clothes from before, but someone took his boots off. He touches his face gingerly. It’s incredibly sore and still sort of swollen, but he can feel bandages have been applied, and the pain isn’t quite as raw. It doesn’t feel great but at least he’s alive. 

He hears metal on metal and for a split second fear runs through him and he wonders if maybe there’s another fight going on. But then he realizes it’s more likely the sound of a spoon stirring whatever might be cooking in cast iron pot, and he relaxes a little. But only a little… he wonders what’s going to happen now. Kimberly seems nice enough, having saved his life and all, but she’s still a near stranger. His passing out meant that he hadn’t been able to discuss the fact that he was been chased out of town by a squad of guards who are all dead.

Sighing, he decides he can’t stay in this tent forever. He doesn’t like things being out of order, and right now it’s all a big confusing mess. He needs to discuss this with Kimberly, come up with a plan. Having a plan will make this so much easier so he pulls on his boots, takes a deep breath, and steps through the tent flap. He stops dead when he takes in the scene before him. 

The sun has risen and is just peeking up over the tops of the trees. The campsite is the same, although the fire is burning higher, and there’s definitely food in the pot, some sort of stew. He doesn’t see Kimberly anywhere (although he supposes she could be in the other tent), and the wolf is gone as well. Instead there are two men. One is tall and broad, dressed in the same style of leather breeches and vest that Kimberly had worn. His hair is brown and he has a short goatee. He’s standing with a wooden bowl in one hand, waiting to get his breakfast. 

The other man is scooping stew into his own bowl. He’s not as broad as brown haired man, though he’s certainly not as skinny as Billy. He’s wearing a black jacket and black pants. His hair is black and his eyes are almond shaped, like the men in Billy’s books about the Far East and Marco Polo’s journeys to China. He doesn’t wear his hair long like those men though. It’s cut short. He doesn’t have facial hair. 

Neither of them look much older than him. When they see him emerge from the tent, the brown haired one puts his free hand up in a placating gesture and says, “Good morning,” in a steady, soothing voice.

Billy darts his eyes around the camp again, his nervousness spreading. He bounces up and down on his heels and his hands can’t stop moving. He twists them together to try to stop himself fidgeting. He asks the first thing that he can think of, “Where’s Kimberly?”

The brown haired man's gaze darts briefly to the other man’s, and then back to Billy. “She’s… out,” he says, and it sounds like a lie, but Billy’s never been good at reading people so he can’t be sure. “I’m Jason,” the brown haired man says, and then points at the other man, “That’s Zack.”

“She didn’t mention you,” Billy says, aware that he’s being rude by not returning the greeting or giving them his name after Jason gave them theirs, but he’s too nervous to care. He can apologize for his bad manners after he figures out whether these men killed Kimberly and the wolf and threw their bodies off a cliff or something, “She didn’t mention much, actually, not really, not before I sort of passed out or went to sleep or whatever happened. I still feel kind of groggy, and I’m still confused. And there was a wolf. The wolf kind of scared me, but Kimberly said it was fine, and then the wolf seemed kind of friendly after that and stopped growling at me…”

Jason interrupts gently, “Kimberly and I are friends. She told us what happened and that your name is Billy.”  Billy frowns as he thinks this over. He was asleep for at least a few hours given that it’s now morning. He supposes that these men might have returned at some point in the night and that Kimberly might have told them what happened. Jason hasn’t made a move to touch him and seems to have known to interrupt when he started going on. So possibly it was true.

He nods as he thinks it over, feeling like it’s plausible. Still, “I’d still feel better if I could see her. Or the wolf.”

The two men exchange another glance. Zack has a mouthful of stew. He shrugs. Jason looks back at Billy and seems to be considering his next words very carefully when the flap of the second tent, on Billy’s right, opens, and a girl walks out, fastening her belt (which Billy notes has at least half a dozen knives hanging off it). A girl who isn’t Kimberly.

This girl is short even for a girl, probably a full foot shorter than Billy, strongly built (as though she’s spent a lifetime doing hard physical work) and curvier than Kimberly (not that Kimberly wasn’t curvy because she’s a woman and women are usually curvy because that’s just how it is). Her hair is dark brown and swept back where it’s secured with a strip of leather. She’s wearing breeches that were once black but have faded to a dark gray-ish shade, and a pair of faded black leather riding boots. Her white linen shirt is of the same make as Jason and Kimberly’s, but where they had worn short vests, she wears a black leather jerkin with padded shoulder panels that hangs down several inches below her waist, the ties fastened at the bottom but loose on top. She wears what looks like a wrist guard taken from a suit of boiled leather armor on her left forearm.

She’s examining one of her daggers closely and muttering to herself in Spanish as she walks. She doesn’t take her eyes off the knife as she switches languages and says, with just a hint of a Spanish accent, “Who the fuck got blood on my dagger, Cap?”

Jason clears his throat loudly, and she finally looks up, her dark eyes meeting his. Jason gestures with his head towards Billy, slowly and deliberately, “We have visitor…”

The girl turns her eyes to Billy, her expression closing off instantly as she examines him. Her eyes are suddenly wary and guarded, her mouth suddenly turned down, settling somewhere just short of hostile. She puts the knife in her hand back in its place on her belt and crosses her arms over her chest, which seems almost like a protective gesture to him. She tilts her head, her brow furrowing as she continues to take him in. She’s looking long enough that it begins to make Billy uncomfortable. There’s something there that Billy can’t read, which isn’t surprising. It almost seems like she thinks she remembers him, which would be impossible since he’s never seen her before.

All of it is making him itch, so he tries to dispel the feeling by saying, “I’m Billy.”

He gets a tight nod in return, but she doesn’t reply. Evidently she’s not much of a talker, although he feels like her silence might be telling him something too if he was any good at reading it. She continues to stare. Billy’s eyes dart around the camp and land on Jason, who’s looking at him sympathetically. Maybe the girl has this effect on everyone.

Jason takes pity on him and breaks the tension, “That’s Trini. She’s a friend of Kimberly’s as well.” Trini turns her gaze on Jason, and narrows her eyes at him, her jaw tightening, perhaps angry that he’s given up information to a stranger. He gives her a placating look and explains, “Billy was being pursued by the Bishop’s men last night. Kimberly saved him and took care of them,”

Billy thinks this must appease her a bit, because the left side of her mouth turns up just slightly and her eyes get half a degree warmer. “Of course she did,” the girl mutters.

Jason takes a deep breath, as though steeling himself, and then gives her another significant look and says, “He’s met the wolf.”

The sliver of a smile disappears, and her eyes go dark again. She looks at Jason for a long moment, like she’s asking him a question without speaking. Billy doesn’t understand it, but Jason clearly does because he answers, “It was a bit… tense to start, but it ended up okay. Kimberly uh, _defused_ that situation as well.”

Trini breathes out a sigh that sounds incredibly relieved, and turns, giving Billy what he thinks is an apologetic look. Which he doesn’t understand because it’s not like Trini was here when he’d encountered the wolf. Before he can think about it any further, Zack is speaking, gesturing to the pot and looking from Billy to Trini, “Breakfast?”

The girl nods and goes to fill a bowl. Billy is still a little wary, but as with Kimberly the previous night, he’s decided to go with it because they’re not actively attempting to kill him (he realizes that this isn’t necessarily the best criteria, but it’s not as though he has that many choices). He accepts a bowl of stew from Zack but stays standing as he eats. The food is warm and hearty and it’s not until the first bite is down his throat that he realizes just how hungry he is. He hasn’t eaten anything since breakfast the previous morning.

They all eat in silence for a few minutes. Jason lets Billy finish his food before he says, “I don’t mean to pry, but I think perhaps it’s important for us to know why the Bishop’s men were after you.”

Billy starts to fidget again, the fear of being confronted by the guards coming back in a rush. The bowl starts to shake in his hand, and Trini reaches over and takes it from him gently. Her eyes are still guarded, but she doesn’t seem as outright suspicious of him as she was at first. “I don’t know, I really don’t. The guards showed up because someone was trying to bother me, but they looked at my notebook and then called me a heretic and started to drag me off. My mother always told me I should keep my research a secret but I didn’t know really understand why…”

“What’s in your notebook?” asks Jason.

“Just my observations, and some of my calculations. Theories and experiments and things like that. I watch the stars. Look at machinery. Think about how things work.”

Billy sees Trini sit up a little straighter and cock her head, examining him again with this new information in mind. Jason says, "May we see it?"

Billy frowns, "It's... it's important to me."

"We won't take it," Jason says, his tone calm, reassuring, "We're just trying to figure out what it is you have that so offended his men. It will help us figure out if there's a way we might be able to help you."

There's a long pause as Billy darts his gaze around at the others. He's not necessarily sure how sharing his work will help, but something in him longs to show someone, to have them know what he's done. He's had to keep it a secret so long, but he's so proud of what he's done, so pleased with the things he's theorized and of his experiments (even the unsuccessful ones). His mother looks, but doesn't really understand it. He's not sure these people will either, but he thinks that, like his mother, they will at least not judge him for it. He hasn't been around them long, and he's not necessarily the best judge of character, but the way they're living, the way they act... he thinks perhaps they know a little something about not being accepted.

He goes back into the tent where he left his satchel. As he picks it up, he realizes that someone has mended the strap where it had broken the day before and is struck again by the kindness these strangers have shown him. He feels bad about being suspicious of them. He pulls the bag over his head securely and then reaches inside and takes out his battered, leather bound notebook. He walks back out and extends it to Jason carefully, as though he's offering him something precious and rare (which as far as Billy’s concerned he is).

Jason takes it gently, showing the same care in handling it as Billy did, and opens it carefully. He flips through a couple of the pages, brow furrowed, and Billy can tell that he doesn't really understand it. He looks to Zack who just laughs and puts his hands up, "If you can't understand it you know I won't!" he says amiably. Trini rolls her eyes in a long suffering manner and stands, putting aside her empty breakfast bowl. She takes the book from Jason and sits back down to look at it.

As she glances through it, her eyebrows rise, and her expression shifts. The wariness in her eyes fades, replaced by intrigue, and then admiration. Watching her, Billy realizes that she actually understands some, if not all of what he's written. After several minutes, she looks up at Billy, "You came up with all of this?" her formerly apathetic tone is tinged with appreciation.

"Yes."

For the first time, a true smile spreads across her face. It's small and there's still a degree of reserve to it, but as far as Billy can tell it's entirely genuine, "Brilliant," she says, "it's brilliant," she closes the book gently and hands it back to him, "Maybe later, when the Bishop isn’t breathing down our throat, we can sit and discuss some things."

Billy smiles enthusiastically, and claps a little, his anxiety temporarily eclipsed by the prospect of having someone who can discuss his theories.

Trini turns back to Jason, "It’s obvious what the Bishop didn't like about it. Celestial movements, planetary shit. Things that philosophers are executed for in Rome. Not giving much credit to God."

"I'm not trying to be a heretic," Billy protests, his brow furrowing, the anxiety returning.

"No one thinks you are," Jason says, "But this is a problem."

Zack has a thoughtful look on his face, "If Kim killed the guards, does that mean no one knows who he is or that he was being pursued?"

Jason asks, "Did anyone see the guards take you away?"

"Yes. There was a big crowd."

Jason frowns, "Then there’s no chance of returning you anonymously. They know you were taken and they know that the guards who took you haven't returned."

"They start looking for him, they might find us," Zack says.

"We were planning on leaving soon anyway. We'll just have to leave at midday rather than after dark as we usually do," Jason looks at Billy, "We can't force you to do anything you don't want to, Billy, but I'm afraid if you went back to town you'd be in grave danger. The Bishop might assume that you killed those men. Kimberly took on responsibility for your life when she saved you, and it wouldn't feel right if we just let you walk back into the lion's den, at least not without figuring out how you might be able to get out of this."

Billy begins to pace. He doesn't like the thought of that. Doesn't like it at all. Of course he knows that Jason is right, logically. Even if Kimberly hadn't killed the guards, he'd still be wanted as a known heretic, and everyone knew what happened to people who disappeared into the Bishop's dungeons. But it wasn't just himself he had to be concerned with. He thought of his mother, who would surely have heard about what happened by now. He wondered if she would be in danger, what she was thinking, whether she was worried about him. He hated to think of her being in trouble because of something he did.

"What about my mother," he says, still pacing, "She's all alone, I don't know if they'll do something to her..."

Jason shakes his head, "I'm sorry, but we wouldn't be able to return for her. It would be too dangerous. It's possible they won't do anything to her. No one saw the book, and they don't know if your mother knows anything about it. For all anyone knows, she has no idea what you've been studying."

"But... she does. I've showed it to her and..."

Jason's blue eyes bore into Billy's, "For all anyone knows, she has _no idea_ what you've been studying." He speaks more slowly this time, emphasizing every word, and suddenly Billy understands. Perhaps his mother will have hidden his notes. Maybe she can deny knowing what he was doing. But not knowing worries him.

Zack chimes in, "If she denies everything, she might be safe. But if you were to go back to her, she'd have to turn you in and if she didn't, she'd _definitely_ be in danger."

Billy paces faster, wringing his hands, "I know, I know, you're probably right I just... I just don't want to leave without at least checking."

Zack looks at Jason, "If we go anywhere near that damn town..."

Trini replies before Jason can. She throws a pointed look at the sky and says, " _One of us_ may be able to check on her. Before we go."

Jason frowns, his voice becoming cagey, "Sometimes _that's_ not the most reliable method of surveillance."

"Yeah, but better than nothing," Trini shrugs, "It's low risk and it might give the kid peace of mind."

That stops Billy, "Kid? You can't be much older than me."

"It's not the years, it's the miles," Trini replies, unsmiling, her voice grim.

Jason runs a hand through his hair, considering. Then looks at Billy again, "If we send… someone to check on your mother, would you go with us? At least until we can figure a way around your problem?"

Billy replies without hesitation, "Yes," these people have been kind to him, understanding, taken his differences in stride and not made him feel lesser for them. He thinks it must almost be what having friends is like. "But... how will you do it?

As if on cue, a sharp screech rings through the morning sky. They all look up, and Trini smiles, a small almost bittersweet thing, as a majestic looking falcon comes soaring down towards them. Trini extends her left arm, the one with the wrist armor on it, and the bird lands gently on it. Billy watches, wide eyed, as Trini brings the bird close, and it bumps its feathered head against her cheek. The girl slides a hand over the bird's sleek feathered head, down its back.

The bird is around two feet high, from tail to the top of its head, and its wingspan had looked to be at least twice that. It has fierce looking talons, and a wicked looking sharp beak. Its sharp black eyes dart around the camp, and Billy thinks that they pause on him. It tilts its head at him and then blinks and makes a trilling noise.

"That's how," says Zack, in answer to his question, pointing at the bird. The raptor looks at his finger almost haughtily and then snaps its sharp beak at him.  Zack withdraws his hand quickly and grins, "Love you too." He looks at Trini, grinning, mischief in his dark eyes, "She's so grumpy before she's had her first rat."

Trini rolls her eyes, "She probably _has_ had her first rat, you asshole," she mutters, "What the hell do you think she's been doing for the last hour? She just doesn't appreciate you being an idiot." Her words are angry, but everything about her seems lighter now that the falcon has arrived. Even her posture is more relaxed as the bird spreads its wings a bit and moves from her wrist up  to her shoulder, and she's smiling more easily, although he has to admit most of this is directed at the falcon rather than any of them.

Jason interrupts before the good natured bickering can continue, "You should let her know what we need."

Trini nods, "I'll try," and she wanders a little ways off from the center of the camp, talking quietly to the bird in a mixture of Spanish and French.

Billy has read some books on falconry and he's heard of falcons responding to spoken commands, but he’s not sure he’s ever read about people having entire conversations with them. He tilts his head at Jason, "She's going to tell the falcon to go look in on my mom? How will that work? And how will she say if my mom is okay if she is? I mean, falcons are smart but are they really that smart? Or is this some special breed that..."

Jason smiles, "She and the bird have a special connection. They've... been together for a long while."

Billy thinks about that for a moment, then looks over at Trini. The falcon is back on her hand and she's holding it close to her head, looking into its eyes intently as she talks to it. The animal is leaning towards her as well, it's head cocked in a way that doesn't seem entirely bird like. Something is prickling at the back of Billy's brain. Things that he's noticed last night and this morning start to swirl around in his head, and he turns to Jason, curious.

"Like Kimberly and that wolf?"

Zack and Jason both go very still almost instantly. It's as though Billy's words have paralyzed them temporarily. They look at one another, then over at Trini, in almost perfect synchronization. When they turn back to Billy, their formerly open expressions are as guarded as Trini's has been. Jason's voice is reserved as he says, "Yes. Something like that."

"Are we going to leave without them?"

"They know how to find us," Jason says cryptically, "It won't be terribly long until we see them again."

Billy wants to ask more but he feels like he won't get anywhere. He may not always be able to tell what people mean, but it's very clear the two men have resolved to keep whatever secrets they might be hiding, at least not right now.

Trini dispels the tension by returning with the bird. She looks at Billy, "We're gonna send her to check on your mother. You've got to tell her where to go though."

"That... that works?"

"She's very well trained," Trini says, deadly serious.

"Um... okay," he looks at the falcon and she looks back at him intently with shining black eyes, "Her name is Candice... Cranston. She works in the kitchens at the Bishop's house. That's where she'll be right now," he looks at Trini, "Is it safe? Safe for her," he gestures to the falcon, "to go there?"

"Unless they're hunting falcons, she'll be fine. Nobody will notice her."  She speaks with utter assurance.

"Okay."

Trini looks at the falcon, "Be careful, okay?"

The bird makes a little half screech and bites Trini's forefinger gently in what must be a gesture of affection, because it makes Trini smile a little. Trini runs her hand along the falcon's back once and then lifts her hand. The falcon launches itself up and is quickly above the trees and heading back towards the village.

Trini watches her until she's disappeared completely, and then closes her eyes for long moment. Zack puts his hand on her shoulder and gives it a squeeze. "Come on, T, let's start packing up."  Trini nods and takes a deep breath before she follows Zack back to the camp. They go into one of the tents, presumably to start putting the contents away.

Jason heads for the other tent, and Billy follows him, not sure what else to do. Waiting makes him nervous and restless. Inside the tent, Jason is rolling one of the sleeping pallets on the floor. "How long will she be gone?" asks Billy.

"As long as it takes to find your mother and figure out if she's all right. Trini will have told her when we intend to leave and what direction we'll be going. She'll find us if we're gone by the time she's done," he looks at Billy almost apologetically, "If she doesn't find her by just before sunset she'll have to return. Otherwise it'll be, hm, too hard to find us in the dark."

Billy knows that falcons can see perfectly well in the dark, but he doesn't press. He simply sighs and says, "Is there anything I can do to help?"

Jason gestures, "Start rolling up that other pallet, after that I can show you how to take down the tent."

Billy kneels on the floor and starts doing what he's told. His thoughts are still moving a mile a minute. He hopes that his mother is all right. And he hopes that the falcon is all right. For the moment, he doesn't let himself consider too hard what... or _who_ the bird might be.

+++

By midday, the falcon still hasn't gotten back. Zack knows that Trini is getting worried. Most people look at her and see someone who should not be approached. She's aloof, surly, often outright hostile to people she doesn't know or doesn't like. To the few people she does like, she's not so bad, but she can still be brooding and closed off. Some days she just needs to be left alone, others he can draw her out. He's known her since they were children, so he knows the difference at this point. Zack knows that Trini is a good friend and can be a hell of a lot of fun, but there isn't as much to laugh about these days.

The cart is packed. They've got Thunder hitched to it to pull it. As usual, Zack will drive the wagon, with Trini beside him a dark shawl over her head to hide her face, and Jason will ride Lightning. Trini has always loved horses, and would love to be riding one instead of sitting on the hard bench, but ever since they were chased away from their home, horses can’t stand for her to get too near. They shy away  or rear back. The only reason Thunder and lightning don’t is because they’ve gotten used to her, but they still won’t let her get anywhere near to getting on them. (“Just another thing that bitch took away from me,” Trini muttered the first time it happened).

Normally, they'd have Billy ride with Jason, but Kim told them about his dislike of physical contact, so they've made space for him in the cart. It's probably for the best. He can look through his book there, and he'll be hidden, just in case the Bishop's men are looking for him.

They’re heading towards Zack’s mother’s house, as they had planned before they ran into Billy. Li Taylor lives in the heavily forested foothills that border the lands that once to Kimberly’s family. Her cottage is the closest thing they’ve had to a home they’ve had since they went on the run, far enough into the woods to be concealed, far enough away from the border that they won’t be detected. Leaving now, they should arrive within an hour of sunset.

Trini is sitting on the bench, staring into the middle distance when Zack gets up on the seat next to her and bumps her lightly with his shoulder. Jason rides ahead and Zack urges Lightning forward. Behind them they can hear Billy talking to himself quietly.

"So he's a little eccentric."

"Hm," says Trini, "Aren’t we all. But he’s smart as fuck."

"I'll take your word for it," Zack glances over at her, "She'll be okay, T. You know she likes to take her sweet time. She might get distracted by a stray field mouse or some shit, but she'll come back. Always does that too."

Trini nods, expression still taut.

Zack transfers the reins to his left hand and puts his right arm around her shoulders. She leans into him almost immediately and they drive on like that for the next couple of hours.

They're all used to long days of nothing but travel, so the tedium of it doesn't really bother them anymore. Sometimes, Zack starts absurd conversations, or tells long strings of jokes in order to make the others laugh, but as the time passes Trini remains firmly stuck in her own head and Jason’s face has the pinched expression it gets when he’s thinking about all the things they have to worry about. Zack knows he won’t be getting much from either of them right now.

Zack knows Jason is nervous about bringing Billy with them. Jason and Zack and the girls were used to looking after one another. They were bound together by their shared history and their secrets and their mutual enemies and countless other things that they couldn’t even begin to quantify. They had all chosen this life the day that they'd struck out from Hart Castle and into the unknown, knowing what that it would not be easy. But Billy was an innocent, perhaps the most guileless person they'd ever run across. He had nothing to do with their problems or their burdens. He didn't deserve to be dragged into something that was very likely to turn out badly for all of them.

But they also knows that Kim had had no choice but to save his life. To ignore his plight would've made them no better than the Bishop or the people who had driven them away from their home. Doing so had linked their fates to Billy's, because none of them would ever abandon him when they knew doing so would put him even more danger. If they'd left him behind, it would have been as if Kimberly hadn't saved him at all.

Still, none of them would feel right about it if something happened to Billy because their demons caught up with them. They could only hope that their problems didn't decide to converge on them while they were busy helping them. If they did, and if Billy was hurt because of it, there’s no question in Zack’s mind that Jason would take it hardest. He was a natural leader, and had always felt as though he was responsible for them for a multitude of reasons, and Billy was no exception now that he has joined them.

It's perhaps an hour before sunset when they hear the cry of the hawk on the wind and Trini, who is still leaning against his shoulder lifts her head immediately. She’s been getting progressively more anxious the closer the sun got to the horizon and her relief is almost palpable. They're most of the way through the valley that leads up to the forested foothills where his mother lives, and they’d all been hoping the falcon would return before they got too far into the trees.

The land they've been crossing is mostly flat grassland, and they can see the hawk high above. It spots them and starts its descent. They're so focused on her that they don't see the horsemen closing in until it's far too late. 

The raptor is almost to them when the first arrow hits it. The bird lets loose a strangled cry and begins falling from the sky as a second arrow hits. (Somewhere in the back of his mind, Zack thinks that the archer who hit her must be very good. She's a relatively small target, and the men are still a good distance behind). Trini is off the bench the second the first arrow makes contact and she has to dive and slide across the ground, arms outstretched to catch the falcon before she hits the ground.

Jason reaches them a moment later and looks behind them. The horsemen aren't far now, pounding towards them at speed. They can see the archer reaching back for an arrow. Billy has emerged from the cart, "What...?"

"Taking care of them before they get to us would be good," Zack says grimly.

He looks at Trini and expects her to be distraught, but instead all he can see in her eyes is rage. The anger is radiating from her like a physical force, masking whatever grief she must be feeling. She keeps her fierce gaze on the mean behind them as she gently hands the falcon to Billy, who takes her with extreme care. From where he stands, Zack can’t tell if the bird is dead or not, but he figures that if she was, Trini would be reacting differently.

As soon as Billy has the falcon secured, Trini takes off at a run towards their pursuers a yell that's more of a howl tearing from her lungs. The sound startles both their horses, their neighs loud and frightened. Zack looks from Trini to Jason with, his eyes wide. Jason slips off Thunder and hands Zack the reins, "Go! Billy and I will keep going. We need to get her there as soon as we can if we’re going to save her.”

Zack nods and hops on the back of the horse, driving the animal forward at a gallop as he draws his sword. He’d like nothing more than to be heading towards the safety of his mother’s home, but he knows Jason has the best medical training, so he’s got to stay with the falcon.  Trini is almost to the group of horsemen now. She's moving faster than a human being has any right to, faster than he's ever seen her go. She's probably the fiercest fighter in their group, deceptively strong and fast, and she has problem fighting dirty if the situation calls for it, but Zack can see a dozen men on horseback, and he thinks that might be more than even she can handle.

He revises his opinion as she hits their formation. The horses all shy away from her automatically, which wouldn't be a problem except that they’re all moving at a full gallop. The sudden movement throws at least three of the riders, and disorients and distracts the rest as they try to get their horses under control. Trini snarls curses at them in Spanish as she dives in. She cuts a swath through them, her size working to her advantage as she goes dancing through the chaos of frantic horses and cursing men, her knives flying.

By the time Zack gets to the scene of the carnage, only four of the men are left standing. The rest are dead or dying. Trini has not been holding back. Zack makes quick work of three of them. They're too busy paying attention to Trini to see him coming. The last man left is the archer, who is somehow still mounted. When Zack shows up, he quits trying to get a clear shot at Trini and turns his horse around to run away.

Trini is having none of it. She throws one of her largest daggers hard, and it slams into the center of his back. He pitches forward and then slides off the horse limply. She runs to him, wrenches the knife from his back and drives hard through his throat, a killing blow, before turning back to Zack, her face still a mask of rage. There's blood spattered on her breeches and staining her shirt. She looks like an avenging angel.

As she looks around and realizes that all the men are dead, the anger slowly drains from her face, replaced with a look of heart rending grief that she’s probably been holding back since the falcon was shot. Before Zack can react properly, she turns on her heel and begins running towards the cart at what Zack now realizes is most definitely much faster than human (she’s running at least as fast as his horse can go, although it seems to be a strain).  Zack can just see the cart disappearing into the woods.

He takes a moment to look around at the dead men. They're all rough looking men, and none of them are wearing livery. They were bandits or mercenaries, out on the road robbing and killing innocents. As glad as he is that they're not associated with the Bishop, he can't help but curse their luck. This random band of highwaymen must have seen the falcon flying overhead and decided to have some sport. Stumbling across the others and their wagon was just a bonus. He grimaces and tries not to dwell on the fact that the universe appears to hate them. That almost seems the least of their problems, what with the falcon fighting for her life and Trini's grief causing her to act like a wild animal.

There’s no time to do anything with the bodies. He swears quietly to himself, turns his horse, and charges towards the hills.

+++ 

Trini catches up with them just as they’re entering the clearing where Mrs. Taylor’s cabin is. She vaults into the back of moving cart with inhuman grace. Her breath is coming in heavy, panting gasps. She’s obviously been pushing hard to get back here so fast. Billy is cradling the falcon carefully in his hands, doing his best to keep her steady as Jason drives the cart forward as fast as he can without jarring anything. Trini lets out a choked sob as the bird creaks out a pained sound. Miraculously, she’s still breathing.

Jason looks back and sees that there’s blood spattered on her clothes, and she only has two of her daggers, both of which are also bloody. The look on her face precludes any questions about what might have happened with the group of men, but whatever it is, they’re not after them anymore. Zack catches up moments later, just as Jason is pulling the cart to a stop in front of Mrs. Taylor’s modest house.

Zack dismounts and hurries up the steps and knocks on the door. Mrs. Taylor opens the door, a broad smile appearing when she sees him that falls instantly when she sees his face. Zack speaks to her rapidly in Chinese, explaining the situation, and Mrs. Taylor nods and opens the door wide. As Zack is speaking to his mother, Trini and Jason hop out of the cart. They watch as Billy gets out of the cart as smoothly and carefully as he can, all of his usual jittery energy seemingly focused on preventing the bird in his arms from being jostled.

By the time they get in to the large open common area that makes up the front part of the cabin, Mrs. Taylor has cleared off the large wooden dining table to the right of the door so they can lay the bird down. The large room has been lined with cabinets and shelves, and all of them seem to have herbs and vials on them. She’s moving around the room with efficiency and speed, gathering bottles and plants and putting them into a small basket in her hands.

Billy lays the falcon down gently on the table and steps back. She's stopped flapping her wings and thrashing around, too weak to do anything but tremble, her breaths coming tortured and slow. Trini sits heavily on one of the chairs surrounding the table and lays her hand with heartbreaking gentleness on the bird's head, her anger has bled off entirely, leaving only anguish. Tears are rolling down her face and she barely seems to notice them.

She lays her head on the table, close to the falcon's, and speaks to it softly in Spanish, her voice breaking every few words. Billy can't always tell what people are thinking or feeling, but he knows that Trini believes she's watching a part of her own soul die. It was how his mother looked when they told her his father had died. He's now nearly a hundred percent that the conclusion he’s drawn all the evidence he'd seen from the last day (about the falcon and the wolf and the two girls) is correct.

But somehow it doesn't seem important right now, as the others move around he and Trini and the falcon. Mrs. Taylor continues gathering supplies. Jason goes outside to draw water from the well in the front of the house, and Zack is gathering together linen bandages and towels.

Jason comes back in with a bucket of water, he empties it into the small cauldron hanging over the fire in Mrs. Taylor’s fireplace. “How long to sunset?” asks Mrs. Taylor.

"Only a few more minutes,” Jason replies as he steps towards the table.

Zack's mother looks at the falcon. The rise and fall of her breast is barely visible now. The old woman's jaw tightens grimly, but she says nothing. 

Having gotten the bandages in order, Zack puts a hand on Trini’s shoulder. "You're going to have to go outside once you change," he says quietly. They’re not trying to hide anything from Billy anymore. The situation is far too dire for that. 

Trini doesn't look at him, doesn't acknowledge him, just keeps her eyes fixed on the bird, although she's no longer speaking, the tears coming too fast and too hard to allow her to say anything.

After what seems like an eternity (but is closer to five minutes), Trini raises her head and tilts it to one side, as though listening to a voice only she can hear. She sits up, so she’s not taking up space on the table. Jason and Mrs. Taylor stand quietly on the side of the table opposite her, the old woman using her mortar and pestle to make some sweet smelling concoction. She mutters something in Chinese that sounds like a prayer.

Then, right before their eyes, the bird begins to... morph. It's the only word Billy thinks he can apply to what he's witnessing. It takes about thirty seconds, and it's not pretty, but he can't tear his eyes away. It’s almost grotesque as the falcon in front of him... expands. His brain almost can't process what it's seeing, and he feels like parts of it get blocked out, but when the process is over, Kimberly Hart lies (naked as the day she was born) on the table in front of them, one arrow still embedded in the area between her shoulder and her right breast, another in her side.

Billy can't even bring himself to be embarrassed by her nakedness, although Zack's mother quickly covers her up with a blanket, and examines the arrow in her chest closely. Kim's eyes are open, filled with pain and panic, darting from side to side, her mouth turned down in an anguished grimace as she looks around the room frantically. Her voice when she speaks is a weak rasp, barely audible, "Trini..."

Trini is still sitting back from the table, and Billy can see that everything in her wants to move closer to Kim, but she remains where she is, hands hovering in front of her, but not coming any closer. "I'm here, Kim. I'm right here..." she’s trying to keep her voice steady, but it’s not working very well.

Kim's eyes find Trini, "It hurts... so much..."

"I know, princess," Trini's voice is breaking on every word now, "But you'll be okay. Jason is going to take care of you he's going to..."

She grits her teeth suddenly, going stiff. An avalanche of angry Spanish tumbles from her mouth, but even as she says the words she's changing. This change is even faster than Kimberly’s transformation. One second Trini is sitting there, fighting the change, and then Billy blinks, and suddenly the wolf is there beside the table, growling in frustration. She turns her baleful yellow gaze towards the table where Kimberly has finally passed out from the pain, her skin sallow and her breathing labored. Jason and Mrs. Taylor are leaning over her, examining her wounds, talking quietly and urgently about what needs to be done to save her life.

The wolf whimpers loudly and tries to scamper closer to the table in a tangle of limbs. She's too large for the space, especially with the other four people in the room.

Jason frowns, not looking away from his work, "Zack, she can't be in here. If she gets upset there’s no telling what she’ll do.”

Zack looks torn, "Jason... it'll kill her not to be here."

Jason closes his eyes briefly, "She won't remember tomorrow. Please."

Zack sighs, takes the wolf by the scruff of her neck as gently as he can while not losing his grip and begins herding her towards the door, leaning down near her ear and talking to her softly. Billy sees tears well up in Zack's eyes as he speaks, and the wolf never stops whining piteously, watching the table as Zack drags her backwards with a guilty look on his face. It’s not easy, but eventually the creature stops fighting so hard, clearly as exhausted as Trini had been. Moments after they're out the door, Billy hears the wolf start howling.

+++

It takes two hours for Jason and Zack's mother to remove the arrows and do as much as they can to bandage Kim up. Jason is relieved because as bad as it was, it appeared that the arrows hadn't hit anything vital. If she'd stayed a falcon for much longer, it would've killed her, but as a human, she’s larger, stronger (none of them really understood the ins and outs of the change, but they know both Kim and Trini heal better as themselves). There were still no guarantees, already her color is coming back. Now they just have to wait, hope and watch for fever.

Jason and Zack pick her up and move her as gently as they can to the bedroom that Mrs. Taylor always keeps open for Zack. As soon as Kim is settled with Mrs. Taylor at her side to monitor her, Zack goes outside to check on Trini, who had stopped howling about an hour before. A few minutes later, he opens the door, and the wolf bounds inside, heading straight towards the room where Kimberly is. Jason knows she’ll curl up at the foot of Kimberly’s bed until she wakes up or until the change comes again at sunrise.

Zack goes to speak to his mother and make sure Trini is settled in. When he returns, he says, "Going to go get fire wood."  Jason nods as Zack goes back out the door. Jason knows that Mrs. Taylor probably does actually need firewood, but he also knows that Zack's usual method of coping with stress is physical activity. There's no one left to fight, but chopping at logs for an hour is a good substitute.

As tired as he is, Jason is too keyed up to sleep. He exhales a long breath and sits down in one of the chairs in front of the fire.

Billy sits quietly in the chair next to him. Jason looks over at him  and smiles half heartedly, "So I suppose you're wondering what just happened."

"As far as I can tell, Trini turns into a wolf during the night, and Kim turns into a falcon during the day, and they only see each other for about five minutes at dusk and dawn... but I don't know how it works or why it's happening. There’s no logical explanation so I guess it could be a spell or a curse but then I don’t know who could ever want to curse them because they both seem so nice… well, Kim seems nice anyway, Trini just seems sort of quiet and scary and…”

"I don't know how it works either,” Jason interrupts quietly, “But I think maybe you've earned the right to know how it came about,” he leans back in the chair and looks up at the ceiling, “I... I'm really not sure where to start."

"The beginning is always good," says Billy, trying to be helpful.

Jason smiles, a little sad, "Yes… the beginning. I suppose that’s as good a place as any.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> whew. so there's part two. in part three we'll see How They Got Here. FYI- Part three is actually turning into a monster pretty rapidly, so I may have to split it into two pieces, but rest assured it's mostly because it's so big not because it's not done. Anyway, hope you enjoyed. (also thanks to smg55 for calming my summary angst lol)
> 
> you can find me @ haughts-bulletproofvest on tumblr.
> 
> PS I'm am going to take a stab at a Day 5 Trimberly Week fic. This one has sort of taken over my brain though, so we'll see what I can do. Honestly crossovers AUs are like my favorite thing ever so even if I don't get to it right away, I'll probably end up doing something like it at some point


	3. Part III - the past (chapter 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> first meetings.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Soooo I got just a wee bit overambitious with the chapter count on this one. I intended this whole flashback part to be one chapter but it got out of control very quickly (like literally one section in I knew I was crazy for thinking it was going to fit into a single chapter) so I’ve split it out into a few different parts (two, maybe three?). It’s sort of like a story within a story but it all leads back to where we left our poor star crossed kids at the end of last chapter, I promise.
> 
> I'm also sort of considering this my Trimberly Week Day Six contribution because it takes place in a different time so there haha

Part III - the past (chapter one)

_As Kimberly heals in the other room with the wolf that is Trini at her feet, Jason tells Billy their story._

_Billy has always liked stories. When his father was still alive, he would tell a story to him every night before he went to sleep. His mother kept the tradition up, even though she wasn't as good at telling stories as his father. Jason is a natural storyteller, just like his father was. His voice is strong and he tells it with feeling, in a way that makes Billy eager to hear more. He already knows that this one will have adventure and romance and good and evil and curses in it._

_He only wishes that there was a happy ending._

+++

Kimberly is nine when she first sees Trini. It's after her riding lesson and she's in the stables pulling the saddle and bridle off her pony. She's been taking lessons for four years now so it's something she's trusted to do on her own. Her father is the sort of man who insists on his child being at least somewhat self sufficient so, unlike other lords of his stature, he has taught her not to rely entirely on servants for most things.

They're within the castle walls so she's also alone. Her lady in waiting doesn't come with her to these lessons and her personal guard leaves her be when she's on the grounds. Her father is also the type of man who inspires ironclad loyalty so plots against him in his own home are practically unheard of despite his... unique views on so many issues and his tendency to upset the king with them.

She's brushing the horse down, singing quietly to herself as she usually does when she's doing routine tasks, when she hears voices outside the door.

She recognizes them as belonging to two of the apprentice grooms, boys a few years older than her. When she turns the corner, she sees them, one blonde, one with dark red hair. The redhead is laughing and the blonde is leaning down over a figure they’ve got backed against the wall in front of them. “How did a scrawny rat like you even get in here?” says the boy in front loudly. He’s speaking slowly and is tone is condescending and cruel. Kimberly doesn’t think it’s the first time he’s asked the question. 

Whoever they’re talking to doesn’t answer. The blonde darts forward and grabs the person he's harassing by the shirt, “Answer me, you dirty little…”

Kimberly’s feet carry her forward before she has time to think. “You there!” she calls, her voice taking the tone of imperious command she hears her father using sometimes when he’s speaking to people he doesn't like, “What are you doing?” 

The boys turn. The blonde’s expression is ugly as he opens his mouth to speak, but then he sees that it’s her and his jaw drops. He recovers and bows hastily, as does the other boy. “Lady Hart…”

With them turned at this angle, Kimberly can finally get a good look at the person the boys have been menacing. She can tell from the soft line of her jaw and her full lips that their victim is a girl, smaller than Kimberly, so small that it’s hard to tell exactly how old she is. Her hair is dark brown and falls to just beneath her shoulders, though it's also something of a tangled mess so it's hard to tell exactly how long it actually is. Her eyes are dark brown as well, practically black, and her skin is a few shades browner than Kimberly's, likely the result of time spent in the sun. The girl is dressed in fairly new breeches and a dirt-smudged roughspun white shirt, just like the grooms are, although she’s so skinny and short they hang off her. 

Kimberly had expected to find the girl frightened, given the fact that two boys a foot taller than her are yelling at her and laying hands on her, but the set of the girl’s jaw is defiant, and there’s anger flashing in her eyes, anger that mostly covers the fear Kimberly sees there as well. The boys had backed her into a corner, and she was evidently not intending to concede anything to them. Kim feels a swell of admiration for the girl.

She turns her gaze to the boys again, “You have not answered my question.”

“This creature was sneaking around where she don’t belong dressed in clothes she’s got no right to. We saw her over there,” he gestures to the door to the tack room, “figured she was readyin’ herself to steal some tack...” The girl squirms in his grip, and her glare intensifies, but she doesn’t say anything, “We were just tryin’ to get answers from her when you came along… my lady.” 

Kim frowns, “And how do you know she doesn’t belong? Or that she was trying to steal anything? Has she told you as much?”

“She has yet to confess," the boy says, shaking the girl a little. Kimberly intensifies her glare and he stops, clearing his throat nervously before he continues speaking, “And as for whether she belongs… well she was skulking in the dirt like a stray dog, and she’s dressed like a boy. Lord Hart wouldn’t allow such trash as this onto his property.”

“You are privy to all of my father’s choices, are you?” Kimberly asks coolly, raising an eyebrow.

The boy's brow furrows, as he seems to realize for the first time that perhaps this is not going to go his way, “Well, no, my lady, but…” 

Kimberly turns to the girl, and smiles kindly, “I'm not going to hurt you, but we must clear this up, so I must ask: Are you meant to be here?” the girl looks at her with wide eyes, and seems almost surprised, as though she knows how to handle people being cruel to her, but doesn't know how to deal with simply being spoken to politely. The thought makes Kim sad, and a little curious. 

The girl's eyes drop to the ground while she composes her thoughts, and then she answers in shaky, broken French, “I am… belonging here. I am… working with… horse?” 

Kimberly narrows her eyes at the boys, “Firstly, this girl clearly does not speak our language very well, you oafs. Perhaps she simply reacted badly because you began yelling at her!” They both look abashed, which pleases her, though she tries not to show it, "Secondly, she does belong here!"

“You can’t seriously believe…”

“It seems presumptuous of you to question what I believe, does it not? ” 

At this point, the groom can't meet her eyes, "I'm not trying to tell you what to think, my lady.”

“Good," she gestures to the girl, "Now let the girl go and get out of my sight." 

The blonde boy lets go of the girl’s shirt and they both bow half heartedly before retreating. Kim glares after them, and then turns back to the girl, who looks very much like she’d like to bolt, but is being held in place by the solely by the natural authority instilled by Kimberly's title.

She smiles at the girl again, (beneath the dirt and the tan, Kimberly thinks the girl might be blushing as that) and asks, her words slow and clear without being condescending, “Are you all right?”

+++

Trini looks at the girl and doesn't know what to say. In fact, the reason she was lingering around the door of the tack room is because she had heard the girl singing and wanted to listen because her voice was so pretty and she was so pretty but she feels as though saying that would be the height of foolishness especially since she now knows that the girl is the Lord Hart's daughter. 

The girl's inquisitive eyes are making Trini anxious. She’s not used to having people’s full attention, at least not their _positive_ attention, and she’s feeling panicked because she realizes she has no idea how this is supposed to work. It doesn’t help that, as the girl had already noted, her grasp of French is shaky at best. 

It had only been three months since her parents had dragged her to this godforsaken country, and they had died a month after they'd arrived when a plague swept through the border town her father had settled them in. She’d still barely had a chance to register the loss (not that she really got along with them, even at eight and a half she somehow seemed to be a constant disappointment to them). She’s spent the ensuing two months concentrating on trying to survive on the streets, which had started with stealing to eat and learning how to defend herself. Her parents always told her stealing was wrong, but they weren’t exactly around anymore and quite frankly, she didn’t think starving was right either.

She had briefly tried begging, but after a week of being spat on, beaten up, harassed by the guards, and harassed by gangs she had come to the conclusion it wasn't worth it, so she'd gone back to thieving. She kept to herself, talking to no one, never lingering too long in one place (except for one moment of weakness that had almost gotten her killed and had only strengthened her resolve not to trust anyone). It was not the type of life that had allowed her to pick up more than the very basics of the French language. She had enough knowledge to understand what was being said, which was vital for self-preservation at the very least, but she could just barely speak it. 

Which probably would have been fine except that a week ago, she’d been caught stealing some bread in Arbre des Anges, the town in the valley just below the Hart’s castle. She thought she’d be punished, but the man who’d caught her was Lord Hart himself. He’d asked her where her parents were. Normally she would’ve refused to answer until she’d found a way to run (her first instinct was _always_ to run), but, much as his daughter had just done, he’d stunned her into compliance simply by being genuinely kind. 

Her guard was further eroded by the fact that, after he'd deduced it was her native language, he’d spoken to her in Spanish. Being able to understand and be understood fully after so many weeks was such a relief that she ended up telling him everything that had happened to her since arriving in France. When she was done with her story, he told her that he would take her, in would give her work at the castle, even asked her what she might prefer to do.

She’d gotten into his carriage warily, convinced that he was pulling an elaborate joke, but then he’d taken her to the castle, fed her the first decent meal she'd had in months, and given her a place to sleep. When he put her to work, she found that he'd even taken into account the fact she said she liked horses instead of making her work in the kitchens just because she was a girl.

He put her in the charge of his stablemaster, who set her to doing the same tasks as the stable boys. It was hard, physical work, but it came with clean clothes, a roof to sleep under and hot meals. The stablemaster was an older man who appreciated anyone with an affinity for horses (which she had in spades) and treated her gruffly but fairly. It had been nearly a week, and things had been going fairly well (she considered going unnoticed a good thing). She should've known something bad was going to happen. 

She realizes that she’s still staring at the other girl, wide eyed, and she tries to pull herself together. It takes a moment to remember what the girl just asked, and she’s not even sure how to answer. Words have never been her strong suit, and she still hasn’t wrapped her mind around the fact that the other girl is even bothering to speak to her, let alone with such concern. Add to that the fact that she was shaky from the confrontation with the boys, and she's barely able to mutter out a thank you that comes out half Spanish, half French. A strange sort of " _merc-siento_ " jumble that just makes her face even redder.

The girl continues to smile kindly and doesn't point out her absurdity of what Trini has just said, which she appreciates. She wants nothing more than to give into her instinct to run, but she knows she can’t. If she offends the girl, she might go to her father and get Trini removed from her position, and she does not want to go back on the streets. 

To Trini’s immense relief, the girl begins speaking to her in Spanish, her intonation flawless and aristocratic, her accent minimal. Trini isn’t surprised that the girl knows the language. “Father said something about having brought on some new stable… people,” she stumbles over that, probably used to saying ‘stable boy’ but she doesn’t seem contemptuous or disgusted about the fact that Trini is doing what is usually a boy's job. The girl gestures in the direction the grooms have disappeared off into, “Sorry about them. They're only boys, so little can be expected of them... not that that will stop me from making sure they get a good hiding later.”

A sudden jolt of fear goes through Trini, spurring her to speak, “No, don't. If they get a beating they'll blame me and come after me again. 

The girl frowns, “They wouldn't dare,” she says with the sort of forceful confidence that seems to come naturally to all people of her class, “they'd have to deal with me if they did.” 

Trini can't help but be in awe of this girl. It's not the unthinking belief in the fact she'll be obeyed, it's the fact that the girl would use that natural authority to protect someone like Trini. The girl seems to know what Trini is thinking, because her expression seems almost affronted for a brief moment before she recovers and says, “It makes no difference to me who you are. I don't like bullies.” 

Trini just nods, not sure what to say to that. She’s never heard anyone of any class say something that indicated status didn’t matter. Even her mother had been quite clear on the whole idea of keeping to their place, and in Trini’s experience, her place in the world plays a vital role in how others see her and treat her. What the girl has said seems quite astonishing.

“If they ever come to you again you can let me know. I'm here three times a week for riding lessons.” 

Another nod. Is she saying that Trini can actually come and _speak_ to her? The whole idea seems absurd, especially to someone who has spent most of her short life doing her best not to speak to anyone. 

The girl takes Trini's nod as agreement, and her smile comes back in full force, “Good!” she says, as though this settles the matter. Then, almost an afterthought, “I'm Kimberly, by the way. Lord Hart’s daughter.”

“I know. Everyone does,” Trini says not really thinking, then cringes as she thinks how informal this sounded, how it could easily be taken as disrespectful, even though she only meant it as a statement of fact.

Kimberly doesn’t seem to be phased by her words, but she is looking at her expectantly now. It takes Trini too long to figure out what she's waiting for. Lord Hart’s daughter actually wants to _know her name._ She clears her throat nervously and says, “I'm Trini. I mean Trinidad Gomez Rodrigues. But my papa called me Trini,” she winces at how clumsy she sounds, stumbling over her words, rambling. This was why she didn't talk.

Before she can embarrass herself further, the clock in the chapel across the castle grounds strikes ten. Kimberly gives her an apologetic look, “I'm sorry but I must go, I have my lessons now. It was very nice to meet you. Perhaps we’ll speak again soon.”

Trini manages a sort of half curtsy even though she's not wearing a dress and Kimberly smiles brightly at her and waves over her shoulder as she picks up her skirts and heads quickly back towards the castle to learn weaving or embroidery or proper order of precedence or whatever people of her class learn.

Trini watches her until she disappears past a guard into the main castle, then sighs and goes back to pick up the broom she’d abandoned when the grooms confronted her (at least they probably won’t be a problem anymore). She is certain that's the last time she’ll ever speak to Kimberly Hart.

+++

It surprises her, then, when Kimberly comes two days later for her riding lesson and smiles at her. Trini is cleaning out the stall next to where Kimberly's pony is, sweating in the early summer heat, and smelling of horse, when the other girl comes in to collect her mount. The smile is brief because Kimberly is in a hurry but there’s no mistaking it, and there’s no doubt that it was on purpose.

Two hours later, Trini is returning her bucket and shovel to the equipment storage area at the far end of the tack room when Kimberly walks in leading her pony. “Good morning,” she says, in that aristocratic Spanish.

Trini’s head jerks up. She looks around for someone else Kimberly could be speaking to, even though she realizes after a moment that she's being absurd because no one else here speaks Spanish. When her brain finally catches up with the fact she's being addressed, she straightens to her full height (such as it is), dips her head and keeps her eyes firmly on her muddy boots as she mutters, “Good morning, uh, my lady."

Kimberly smiles but doesn’t say anything else, turning to her pony and starting to brush her down. After a moment, Trini goes back to her work as well and Kimberly begins singing to herself. Trini finishes what she’s doing, leans against the wall and turns to listen to her.

After a moment Kimberly seems to sense she's being watched and looks up. Trini jerks her eyes back to her feet expecting anger, but instead she says, "I'm sorry was I disrupting your work. Sometimes I start doing that without thinking"

Trini immediately feels like an idiot and mutters, making a try at French, no, “No it was nice... fine…” Trini stops, grimacing, before she can embarrass herself any further, and goes back to Spanish, “I was done with my work. Your singing was good.”

Kimberly is silent long enough that Trini looks up. The other girl has a smile on her face and is looking at her thoughtfully, “Please don't take offense, but is anyone teaching you French? I mean properly?”

Trini isn't sure what this is leading to. An insult seems unlikely because Kimberly just doesn't seem the type, but she's not sure what else there could be, “No one. I only came to France three months ago, and my father did not teach me before...” she trails off, not interesting in burdening anyone with her problems, “So no one has taught me.”

Kimberly considers this for a moment, and then says, “If you'd like I can teach you.”

Before she can stop herself Trini says, “Is my speaking really so bad?” in her broken French, just to be stubborn. Almost instantly she regrets her defensiveness.  

“No not _so_ bad. I'm sure you can get by well enough,” replies Kimberly, either not noticing or choosing to ignore Trini's tone (and being overly generous in her assessment), “But it could be better.”

Trini studies Kimberly carefully, her surprise overwhelming her usual instinct to stare at the ground in another person’s presence. The girl is constantly throwing her off. She believes that Kimberly is sincere in her intentions, so now she has to consider how she’s going to respond. It _would_ be nice to know how to speak better and knowing the language more thoroughly would give the other stable boys and grooms one less thing to make fun of her for.

And she doesn’t question whether a nine year old girl can teach her. Trini has never been taught anything before in any sort of formal way, but she figures the only qualification for doing so is that the person teaching knows more than the person learning, and Kimberly clearly knows more about French than Trini does.

However, the whole thing strikes her as nearly absurd. She’s only known Kimberly for three days, and she wants to _voluntarily_ spend time with her. Trini worries about whether or not Lord Hart or the stablemaster will somehow disapprove and that she’ll be punished for it. More than that, she likes her privacy and wants to keep to herself. In her experience, when people get to know her, they inevitably find something they don’t like, and she’d prefer for Kimberly’s impression of her to at least be positive.

So when Trini looks up at her, she fully intends to say no as politely as possible. But then she sees the bright smile and the wide hopeful brown eyes, lit with enthusiasm at the thought of helping, and all the reasons this is a bad idea fade away.

Almost against her will, she nods.

Kimberly’s smile grows even wider and she says, “Excellent!” She’s done brushing her horse down now, and the clock has begun to strike ten, so she says, “We can arrange a time when I see you next, all right?” and leads her pony out of the tack room before the sound of the bells has faded.

Trini sighs and heads back out into the yard, still half convinced she won’t see young Lady Hart again.

+++

When she tells him of her intention to teach Trini, Kimberly’s father seems surprised (Kimberly is a good daughter, amiable and friendly to everyone, but she’s never made a habit of actually striking up acquaintances with the servants), but he doesn’t find anything wrong with it. He’s always taught her that their family is responsible for the lives of all the people that live in their lands, especially those who are in the castle, so it would be hypocritical of him to deny her when she proposes something like this.

Her next riding lesson lasts longer than usual, and when she finally finds Trini (who, once again, looks surprised to see her; Kim wonders when that might stop) she doesn’t have much time. There’s a fairly one sided exchange in which it’s established that after Trini's supper is eaten, she has no other duties. Kimberly herself spends time with her parents after her own supper, but is then free to do as she wishes after that, so they agree that it would be an ideal time for them to meet for their lessons.

As with their last two encounters, Kimberly leaves Trini as the bell tolls ten wishing that she could spend more time speaking with her. The girl intrigues her, not just because she's foreign (Kimberly’s mother is foreign so it's not so novel to her) but because she doesn't treat Kimberly the same way others do. The girl is obviously nervous around her but she's not always bowing and scraping or currying favor.

She’s also a bit of a mystery, and Kimberly wants to know more about her. Her father told her how he came across the girl, but even he doesn’t know much about her past. Kimberly has always liked a challenge, and given who she is, it’s hard to find a real one. She would never complain about everything being handed to her (even at her young age, she knows how many blessings her family has and how grateful she should be for them), but sometimes it does make things rather monotonous.

She’s buzzing with anticipation for the rest of the day and arrives in the tack room nearly ten minutes before their agreed upon meeting time of nine o’clock. She uses the time to set up the books, paper and quill she’s brought on the table in the corner of the room where the grooms sometimes sit when they’re polishing tack or taking short breaks. When she’s done she sits and tries to keep herself from pacing.

The clock tolls nine and Trini hasn’t shown up. Several more minutes pass, and Kimberly’s beginning to worry the girl won’t come. Trini seems skittish around her which Kim supposes is understandable, but she hopes the other girl hasn’t decided to simply abandon the whole idea of this.

When Trini finally shows up, her hair is damp, her face clean, and she’s wearing a fresh shirt and breeches (although they’re still oversized… Kimberly wonders if her seamstress might be able to do something about that). Her boots are the same, but she’s taken the time to dust them off slightly.

Kimberly smiles gently, “You didn't have to wear formal attire for me.”

The girl glances up once to see that Kim isn’t mocking her, then lowers her eyes back to the floor and shrugs, “You're Lord Hart’s daughter.”

“That's true, but I don’t want you to think you must go to any special effort just for me.”

“I was mucking out stalls all day,” the girl mutters, “I smelled like horse… leavings…”

Kim laughs, “Well, I suppose you can go to _a little_ effort for me,” then, on impulse, she adds, “And I think it would be all right if you called me Kimberly.”  She doesn’t realize until the words are out that she just told a servant she could call her by her Christian name, but she finds that the prospect didn’t bother her as much as she would’ve thought. Perhaps it might be like having a real friend.

Trini looks up at her with those wide brown eyes and considers it for a long moment, probably thinking about how inappropriate it would be. Finally, she shrugs (which is probably as close to an affirmative as Kim is going to get), and walks toward the table.

Her steps slow as she approaches and Kim sees her eyeing the book and paper she’s laid out warily. By the time she’s standing by the chair opposite Kim, something close to panic is written on her face.

“Maybe this isn't such a good idea...” she says quietly, her eyes darting to Kim’s and then back to the book.

“Nonsense. This is an excellent idea. It’s much easier to learn a language by speaking _and_ reading it, at least my instructors have always said.”

The girl’s fists are clenched, and her eyes are closed and she’s almost shaking. When she opens her eyes again, she looks steadily at Kimberly for the first time. “I… can’t. I don’t…” she looks down at the book again.

Kim reaches out without thinking and puts a hand on the girl’s wrist, trying to steady her, “You can't read?”

Trini flushes bright red, her face shutting down, looking away from Kimberly again, pulling her wrist away from her hand. Kimberly can see her curling in on herself, ready to bolt.

“There's no shame in that, Trini,” she says gently trying to put as much sincerity into her voice as possible, trying to keep her here through sheer force of will, “Many can't. It's just one more thing I'll have to teach you.”

There’s a long pause. Kimberly has the distinct feeling that this is a significant moment (the absurdity of this thought occurring to a nine year old won’t be clear to her until she’s much older, but it doesn’t change her initial assessment of the importance of this day). If Trini runs now, Kim thinks she won’t ever get this chance again. Slowly, she senses Trini relax, sees the sheer panic melting off her face, and she takes a step forward and sits down at the table.

Kim pats her hand reassuringly once and pulls the book to her to start flipping through it, trying to hide just how relieved she is that Trini didn’t retreat. When she looks up again, she smiles brightly, “I think we should start with the basics…”

+++

It takes Trini three months to be fully convinced that Kimberly is going to stick with it. She’s certain that the other girl is going to get bored and abandon the lessons the second she finds something better to do. However, even after Trini is reading on her own, both in French and Spanish, and can speak French at least as well as some of the grooms, Kimberly keeps coming to see her twice a week after supper.

Trini begins to relax around her after a time, even though getting attached to people in the past has only ever resulted in being hurt. She has learned far too many hard lessons in what little life she's had, and heeding those lessons has kept her alive, but Kimberly is bright and kind and patient and caring and Trini has never had any of those things, so she lets the girl chip through her defenses.

Not that she lets anyone else see that she's spending time with her. Keeping to her place something deeply ingrained in Trini, first by her parents, and then by life generally, so when they’re around other people or when she's working, she acts like any of the other servants, bowing respectfully, keeping her eyes down. But it’s different when they’re alone. Almost in spite of herself,  most of her begins to trust that she’s not just some charity project, that Kimberly actually likes being around her.

For her part, Kimberly seems to like that Trini doesn’t expect her to be a certain way, that she quietly listens to whatever she has to say and doesn’t demand anything from her. Lord and Lady Hart love their daughter, but both of them are busy, and most everyone else holds her at arm’s length because of who she is.

There’s a part of Trini (the part that has been shaped by the rather cruel state of her life until very recently) that keeps waiting for the other shoe to drop, and this voice gets louder when Kimberly isn’t around, constantly reminding her that one day Kimberly _will_ get tired of her, that it’s unrealistic to believe that as she gets older she’ll still be able to waste time with a stable hand. But when Kimberly is actually with her, smiling and laughing, bringing down pastries from the kitchens to share, telling her stories about her parents or the humorless but competent Lord Chamberlain, or her tutors and instructors, Trini only knows that they’re friends, or something close to it.

Somewhere along the way, Trini decides that maybe the fact that this is real at this moment is enough. Trini is a realist and she knows it won’t last forever, that one day Kim will have to leave her behind to attend to the Hart family legacy and all the pressures that come with it, so she lives in the moment and gets to know Kimberly’s every mood and gesture and expression. She stockpiles those memories carefully, knowing that one day they may be all that will remain.

+++

Trini is eleven and has been in Lord Hart’s service for nearly three years when Zack Taylor barrels into her life. Where Kimberly was gentle but firm when chipping away her resistance, Zack is borderline obnoxious, and annoyingly persistent, singing bawdy drinking songs while they work and telling bad jokes to try to get her to smile.

When he first arrives, the stablemaster assigns her to show Zack how things work, which she can't understand because she never talks to anyone (although later she realizes that's exactly why he did it). He’s lived with his mother all his life, up in the hills at the edge of the Hart lands, and has had no one his own age to talk to or interact with. So instead of taking her sullen silences as a cue to leave her alone, he evidently believes that she's simply leaving him more room to talk. He hovers around her constantly, even after she's done helping him learn the basics of the job.

At first, it confuses her that he wants anything to do with her at all. Her relations with the other stable boys and grooms have not improved over time. They resent her for being an apparent favorite (while neither of them flaunt their relationship, the story of Kim defending her that first week has persisted), they resent her for keeping her head down and working hard and always doing as she's told (which means she never gets punished for being lazy or talking back), they resent her for her natural way with horses (especially when the stablemaster notices and begins considering training her to handle them more often).

But it seems that mostly, they resent her for being a girl, even if, at ten, nearly eleven, she hasn't exactly developed curves (or height). It's the one thing she can't change, and it's the thing that just makes all their other resentments more intense. For the most part, they don't do anything more dangerous than whispering and making jokes at her expense behind her back, which is fine with her. She likes them as much as they like her, and rarely spares much more for them than surly glares and stony silences. Zack is new, and association with her can only reflect badly on him.

After a while, though, she begins to understand that Zack hangs around her and not the other boys because he's just as much an outcast as she is, with his almond shaped eyes, and strange accent. (His father was apparently one of Lord Hart's most trusted guardsmen, and he had traveled around the world with him. While Lord Hart fell in love with Kimberly's mother, Zack's father fell in love with Zack's mother. After Zack's father had died, his mother, feeling out of place, had moved to the woods with Zack, although Lord Hart still took care of her.)

Zack's amiable friendliness is in such contrast to the other boys that it takes her awhile to notice that she actually sort of likes having him around and eventually Trini concedes the fact that it's nice to have someone to work with who doesn't want to put a knife in her back (even if such a relationship wasn't necessarily something she was actively seeking). His manic energy and constant smile counterbalance her sullen introversion.

Unfortunately, Zack is the first person to notice that she goes to see Kimberly most nights after dinner. By this point, she and Kim have dropped the pretense of lessons and any sort of regimented schedule, although Kimberly still helps Trini educate herself by bringing her books from the castle's library, which she devours eagerly.

She and Kim spend their time together roaming about, both inside the castle walls and out (Kimberly isn’t supposed to leave without one of her guards, but they've found several ways to sneak out), and have explored the woods around the castle extensively by the time Zack comes along. They’ve discovered many hidden places: cliffs overlooking the valley below the castle, clear pools that they sometimes swim in under the light of the moon. Trini thinks of these places as _theirs_ and she wouldn’t dream of showing them to anyone, and she knows Kim feels the same. Sometimes they talk (well, Kimberly does anyway, but through determination and sheer will, she’s managed to get Trini to open up sometimes too), sometimes they just walk around or sit in one of their places in silence.

In all these years, no one has really noticed her disappearing at night because no one notices Trini much at all, especially after work is finished for the day. She’s essentially a small, quiet ghost. Except to Kimberly… and now to Zack. For better or worse, Zack is smart and observant, skills he often uses to keep track of her (he can just barely read enough to get by, but he knows how to name every plant in the woods and what uses it has, and he learns tasks almost as quickly as she does). 

They’re alone, mucking out the stables when he finally decides to ask about it. It's nearly a month after he started working at the castle, and while she's definitely decided she doesn't mind his presence, this mostly means she tolerates his chatter, not that she really responds or trusts him enough to tell him anything of significance.

"So where is it you disappear off to every night?" he says it casually but she can feel the weight behind it.

Trini doesn’t stop working, used to covering up her reactions, but she’s panicking slightly. This is her most precious secret. If someone ran to Lord Hart and told him that his only daughter and heir was running around outside the castle every night with a stable hand, she's certain she would never see Kimberly again. Even though she's resigned herself to the fact that their separation is inevitable, she's not eager to speed it up.

“I just wander,” she says.

“By yourself?”

“Yes.”

“So when I saw Lord Hart’s daughter scurry out of the castle last night wrapped in a black shawl and heading for the tack room, that was totally unrelated to your nocturnal activities?”

Now Trini does stiffen. Danger to herself is one thing, but… she turns on Zack and moves towards him so fast he barely realizes she's moved before she's somehow twisted his arm behind him back and placed him into a vicious headlock, her right forearm pressed into his throat. He’s at least four inches taller than her, so he's bent over backwards nearly double, his feet scrabbling for purchase on the stable floor, probably thinking about how someone her size could have subdued him so quickly, “Are you threatening Lord Hart’s daughter?” she growls.

He holds up his hands, making a choked gurgling noise as he get enough breath in his lungs to wheeze, “No… no!”

Trini glares at him for a moment longer before stepping back, letting up on his neck. He crumples to the ground, and she stands over him, fists clenched.

Zack rubs at his neck, coughing and looks at her, impressed and alarmed in equal measures, “Are you crazy, girl?” he wheezes, shaking his head, “I wouldn’t raise a hand to any of the Harts. Lord Hart’s taken care of us ever since my father died."

She watches him a moment longer, then finally relaxes, shaking out her fists and stepping back to where she abandoned her shovel. She picks it up and goes back to work as though nothing has happened. Having established Zack means no harm to Kimberly or her family, she considers the exchange over. She figures now that she’s proven herself to be a bit unpredictable and slightly crazy he’ll stop asking about it.

“You never answered my question," he says, as he pushes himself to his feet.

Trini closes her eyes and blows out an exasperated breath. No such luck on the 'minding your own' front, “It’s none of your business.”

They’re silent for a moment as Zack picks up his shovel and begins work again as well. Finally, he says quietly, “So you explore outside the castle. What’s that like?”

She glances at him sidelong. He's concentrating on the pile of horse shit in front of him, “It’s fine."

Zack continues to ask questions here and there all afternoon, and finally Trini gives up and just starts answering in more than single syllables. He doesn’t ask about Kim this time, but Trini thinks her reaction to his mention of her name earlier told him everything he needed to know about their friendship and their clandestine night hikes.

By the time they part just after dusk, she’s almost surprised to find herself giving him an actual smile as he waves at her and heads back towards his rooms behind the stable block. She realizes that she’s intensely grateful to him for having figured out that there was something between she and Kim and then not pushing it.

Perhaps he wasn’t quite so obnoxious as he first appeared.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go (see what I said about out of control… nearly 7k words and they’re, like, not even in middle school yet haha). Let me know what you’d think if you’d like. Find me on tumblr and all that (see the Note that I Can’t Make Go Away below for my url). Also I know very little about horses except that they are cool, so I apologize for any inaccuracies with the horse related stuff.
> 
> Next Chapter: Shit gets real (or even more real I guess) Trimberly wise.


	4. Part III - the past (chapter 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> our heroines vs. their own feelings. and the patriarchy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> so I've been writing and re-writing and cutting and adding and overthinking this one for about three days and I think it's as done as it's gonna get lol. I've sort of lost the ability to be objective about it because it's sort of blurred into a big block of text for me at this point, so yeah... lol 
> 
> enjoy :)

Part III - the past (chapter two)

_As Jason tells the story, he can feel himself being drawn back in time, and he finds that he misses them as they were. So young and naive that they thought the problems they faced then were the worst things in the world._

_Laid out like this, it almost sounds like a fairy tale._

_He wishes that it had ended like one too._

+++

Kimberly is just past thirteen when the limited freedoms she had when she was younger become a thing of the past, and she is expected to begin learning her father's duties in earnest.

She's been well aware of what everyone expects her to become for years. She's proud of their family and their legacy, understands that she will one day be responsible for carrying on a family name that stretches back nearly a thousand years. But now it feels more real, and there are times when the pressure and obligations, the fact that she must always act a certain way, weighs on her so heavily she feels it as a physical force pushing down on her chest. The pressure also causes her wicked temper to flare more often, which becomes one more thing she has to keep a tight hold on nearly every waking moment.

She begins hearing a voice in her head that tells her she will never be good enough, that she will only disgrace her family name. It doesn’t help that some of her father’s advisors make no secret of the fact that they don’t believe she’s capable, especially if she’s not married to a worthy husband.

At this point in her life, she still has confidence in her own abilities and faith she can do what needs to be done when the time comes, so she's usually able to work through her anxious moments and silence the unhelpful inner voice with some effort. But it does take a toll, and the only time she feels fully relaxed, as though she is herself and not some vessel for the expectations of all of her ancestors is when she's with Trini. Some days she wakes up already anticipating the moment they'll see each other again.

When they're together, she feels the tension ease and her worries drop away. Trini makes her laugh, she knows when Kim wants to talk and when she simply wants to sit in comfortable silence with her head resting on one of Trini's sturdy shoulders. She isn't like the town councilmen and advisors Kimberly watches her father deal with all day, men who talk and talk but say nothing at all. Trini always considers her words carefully before she speaks, and the things she says are _meaningful_ , not just empty platitudes. She's also not afraid of being honest with Kim (never has been), and doesn’t hesitate point out when she's wrong but does so without making Kimberly feel like she's being an utter disappointment or a petulant child.

Trini’s presence is always solid and supportive, and Kim feels like nothing bad could ever happen while they’re together.

However, Trini can’t be there all the time and as time goes by, seeing her once a day, even if it's for several hours at a time, isn't enough to balance things out, so she resolves to ask her father for permission to join his guards in training. A boy in her position would be learning to fight, and be able to spar his frustration away. It was only fair that she had the opportunity to do so as well.

When she tells Trini what she intends to do, the other girl laughs, "You just want to learn how to knock people on their asses"

"You're just jealous I get to learn how to knock people on their asses."

"Oh, _I_ already know how to do that, Princess,” she says, smirking.

"You don't think I'm being ridiculous?"

"Nope. I think it's a fine idea. Why shouldn't you learn how to take care of yourself?"

As with most things, Trini's approval gave Kim the last bit of confidence she needed to go through with things. She spends the rest of their time together going over all the reasons why she thinks it's a good idea over and over so that when she goes to her father she'll be able to answer his concerns. She wants to be fully prepared to debate the matter with him because thinks he may be too afraid to risk his heir or to face the disapproving looks he’ll get for letting a girl train with the guards. 

Things go slightly differently with him than she thought they might. She asks the question, gives her reasons for wanting to do it, and then waits for her father to argue with her.

Lord Hart considers his daughter carefully. He’s not blind. He knows that sometimes she is overwhelmed, knows he contributes to it, which he finds regretful but necessary. He felt the same thing when he was young. So he nods and says, “Very well. You may train with the new recruits for one year, which is as long as our new recruits get for their basic training, more than adequate for you to learn how to protect yourself. After that you must devote yourself to your duties entirely.”

She nods, happy to have gotten even as much as that, and with no real resistance. She should have given him more credit. He has never been one to bow to popular opinion. He had married a woman from halfway across the world who many considered a savage, he had had only one child, a daughter, and had refused to try for a son because the first pregnancy had almost killed his wife. Lord Theodore Hart is not conventional by any measure. “Of course, father.”

“Know that I will not allow Captain Oliver to treat you any differently than any of the others. The training will be difficult. And you must also be aware that while the captain will treat you fairly, the other boys may resent your being there, so you cannot rely on having friends among them.”

“I understand. Thank you, father.”

He smiles as she hugs him, “You may not be thanking me once you’ve begun.”

**

The first day dawns bright and clear and she arrives at the training ground exactly on time. She can tell immediately that her father was correct: the boys, who are all her age or a bit older, don’t like that she’s there, although they don’t dare voice their concerns out loud because they know who she is. Most of them glare at her and stay as far from her as they can get, as though she has some disease she’s going to pass them.

The exception is a handsome boy with sun bleached light brown hair and bright blue eyes. He's different from the other boys, who are the sons of her father’s bannermen or prominent merchants and traders. He's broad shouldered and well muscled like they are, but he has the look of someone who's had to actually had to work his whole life. His hands are calloused, his skin deeply tanned (as deeply tanned as a pale Frenchman can get), his face more weathered than a near fourteen year old's should be. He seems _solid_ in a way the others aren't.

The other boys resent him as much as they resent Kimberly. They spend the entire first day muttering and pointing at the two of them, seven hours of whispered insults and contemptuous laughs. Kim ignores them, because their opinions are meaningless to her in any substantive way.

The broad shouldered boy keeps his spine straight and his eyes on Captain Oliver, trying to act as if he’s not bothered either, but she can see in his eyes that the both shamed and angered by their contempt. He’s actually not that bad at hiding it, but it's in the set of his jaw and the way his fists clench when he hears the others talk. Captain Oliver doesn’t seem to notice, but Kimberly's spent four years learning to read Trini, which was like prying open a tiger's jaws. In comparison, this boy is an open book.

At the end of the day, Captain Oliver pairs the recruits up to have them spar so he can evaluate how much they’ve learned. Kimberly ends up with the boy. She hasn't really talked to anyone up to this point, none of them have had much time for real conversation, even if they had been inclined to speak to her, but they're last in line to spar, and she gets bored watching the others, none of whom she thinks is particularly skilled. She turns to the boy and says, "We haven't had a chance to speak yet. I'm Kimberly," she adds, "Lord Hart's daughter," even though the boy is probably aware of that.

The boy looks at her, his blue eyes are a bit surprised (although whether it's at the fact she's talking to him, or the fact that she's the Lord's daughter she couldn't say) and a little cautious, but not openly hostile which is an improvement over the others. "I'm Jason Scott," he says, his accent unrefined but not excessively so.

"Pleased to meet you," she says politely, "I haven't seen you about before. Where are you from?"

He just looks at her for a moment, obviously reluctant to answer.

"You don't have to answer I was merely curious."

He shrugs, "I suppose there's no harm in saying, and I'm sure they," he tilts his head towards the other boys, "will get wind of it soon enough so that they can begin mocking me in earnest. I'm from Recif sur Mer, the fishing village on the other side of Arbre des Anges. My father is a fisherman."

"Please don't take offense, but how did you get a place here?"

"My father secured me a position. I don’t know exactly how, only that it took a great deal of effort. He has high expectations for me," his voice is light enough, but a shadow passes over his face at the word "expectations", which is certainly something Kim can relate to. He quickly directs matters away from himself  by asking why _she's_ there, and the conversation comes with surprising ease after that.

He isn't critical of her presence in training (although he indicates that he had been taught women should stay away from swords), and he doesn't seem intimidated by her position ("Captain Oliver said you should be treated the same as any of us, I'm just following his orders"), and more than that he doesn't seem to have any interest in currying favor with her or her father. He may be the first person she could say that about since Trini. By the end of the training session Kimberly thinks he might have the potential to be a true friend.

This is cemented after training is over, when a boy called Tyler Fleming, the son of one of her father’s most important allies, comes to Jason with a couple of his hulking friends and attempts to harass him. Kimberly glares them down and they retreat. Some men might have been angry that a girl had helped them, but Jason was grateful and their bond only grows stronger.

Kim takes to the training like a natural. She has grace and balance from years of dancing and riding lessons, and athleticism from  all her time spent running about and climbing trees inside the castle walls and scrambling through the woods with Trini at night so she what she lacks in brute strength, she makes up for in agility and speed.

After a week, she's proven that she can keep up with the other boys, and Captain Oliver has proven that he’s going to treat her exactly the same as any of the others, barking orders at her and chastising her for mistakes just as often he does them, so the boys have grudgingly accepted her presence. Jason excels as well and silences the boys who mocked him, or at least causes them to stop insulting him when he can hear them.

The year passes astonishingly quickly, and when it ends, Kimberly goes back to her lessons, and Jason gets assigned to a guard unit, but she still talks to him when she can. Trini is still the only person she trusts entirely, but it’s nice to have another person who treats her like a normal person. Jason is like a brother, and since he’d become accustomed to treating her like a fellow guard when they were training together, he sees her that way rather than as Lord Hart’s daughter.

Even after training is done, he still feels the pressure to live up to the ambitions his father has for him, to be worth all the sacrifices his father has made to get him here. Some days, he doesn’t feel good enough and he's tempted to just give up the whole thing so that he won't have to live with it anymore, to lower the expectations so much that he doesn’t have to strain so hard to reach them, which is a feeling Kimberly can relate to.

**

The only problem with her friendship with Jason had been Trini's initial reaction to it.

Normally, Trini was fine with anything that made Kim happy. Trini knew how things could start weighing on her, so Kim figured she’d understand how nice it was to have someone else around who could understand her problems.

And, for the first few weeks of training, Trini enjoyed hearing Kim’s stories. She was even able to catch glimpses of them occasionally because the training ground was near the stables. She had enjoyed seeing Kim knocking boys half a foot taller than her and twice as broad in the dirt.

But then Kim had started to mention Jason more, talking about a funny thing he said, or the way he had clapped her so hard on the back after she did something good that she’d nearly fallen over. And eventually, every time Jason’s name passed her lips, Trini's expression would flatten out, and Kim could sense her retreating into herself the way she did with everyone else.

Initially, Kimberly had thought maybe Trini was just having a string of particularly bad days. If the other stable boys were more persistently awful than usual, or the stablemaster chastised her, she could be sullen and withdrawn with her, although Kim could usually make her smile. However, when it begins to happen more frequently, Kim is confused and more than a little hurt. Trini hasn’t acted this way around her for years.

The final straw is when Trini meets her one night and mutters that she can’t join her. It’s not as though such a thing is unusual, especially as they’ve both gotten older. Trini's work, Kim's obligations, and occasional illnesses had been known to keep them their usual time together. However, it’s the first Trini has had no good reason for not wanting to go. She simply says, “I don’t feel like it,” without meeting Kim's eyes, then turns and practically runs back to the servants quarters, leaving Kimberly standing there, frozen by astonishment.

When she tries to do it the next night, Kimberly, now more angry than hurt, says, “No!”

Trini, who’s been staring at the ground, looks up, surprise flaring in her eyes, “No?” she frowns, “You can’t tell me what to do, Kimberly.”

“Technically I can,” Kimberly scoffs, although they both know she would never _order_ Trini to do anything, “I just want to know why you’ve been acting so strangely.”

Trini’s eyes drop again, “It’s nothing,” she mutters.

She looks so small and unhappy that Kim’s anger is quickly melting into concern, “Trini,” she says, her tone gentler now, “I know you. This is more than 'nothing'. Is something wrong?”

For some reason, Kim’s concern makes Trini tense up even more. “If you're so keen to spend time with someone, go find Jason,” Trini grits out. There's a defensive, sarcastic edge to her voice, sharp, bitter, almost mocking. It's a tone Kimberly has heard when the other girl is speaking _about_ other people, but it has never, ever been directed _at_ her. Trini’s jaw is set and she’s scowling hard at the ground.

It all seems to come out of nowhere, and Kim feels completely lost, “Why would I want to spend time with Jason when I could spend it with you?”

Trini's anger seems to dissipate a little as she listens to Kim's words, but her tone is still hard when she replies, “You said you enjoyed his company.”

"I do! What does that have to do with…?”

"That he _understands,_ " the word has bite to it, "the way you feel about so many things,"

Kim's brow furrows, "He does." She feels her temper flaring again. Is Trini annoyed that she has someone else she can talk to? Kim hadn't been upset when Trini had made friends with Zack Taylor (or rather, started tolerating his presence, which for Trini was essentially the same thing). She wasn’t sure exactly how this had happened, but she'd been pleased Trini had someone else she could rely on, and she worried a little less about Trini being alone with all those boys who resented and disliked her so much. And now Trini had the audacity to be angry and sullen about Kim having someone to...

"And evidently I _don't_ understand those things," Trini says, eyes finally darting to Kimberly’s, "so... maybe you best stick with him," and there's just the slightest waver in her voice. Kimberly sees her eyes flash with a deep hurt and realizes this is not just some trivial jealousy.  Her building anger dissipates almost instantly.

"Trini..." Kimberly isn't sure what to say. It’s Jason has an insight into the pressures she feels from her family in a way Trini never will (no one expects anything from her that she isn’t capable of giving them). It doesn't mean that Trini doesn't have problems or pressures of her own, or that hers weigh on her any less heavily. It certainly doesn’t mean that that Kim somehow thinks any less of her for not having the same issues. It just means Jason can comfort her in a different way. Jason understanding her problems the way he does doesn’t mean she wants to stop talking to Trini about them.

But Kim isn't sure how to say any of this without hurting Trini's feelings, without making her eyes go dead and her jaw clench like they do when she shuts down. To explain that Jason’s understanding doesn't make him more important to her than Trini, that even though she may not fully understand the exact pressures Kimberly faces, she's always been there for her and made her feel better when she's struggling with them. Trini is important to Kim in ways that she hasn't even fully unraveled for herself.

She doesn't know how to say it in the right way, so she instead she just says, gently but firmly, “Jason isn't replacing you. No one could. You _know_ that…” she looks carefully at Trini, and adds, more tentatively, “Don’t you?”

Trini looks up and Kim looks in her eyes and is surprised to see that maybe she _doesn’t_ know that. And maybe it shouldn’t be that astonishing. For some reason, she's always underestimated her worth to Kimberly. She reaches over and takes Trini’s hand, tries to ignore the little stab of disappointment that shoots through her when the other girl stiffens, but is pleased that she doesn’t withdraw entirely.

“Trini you are the only person in this whole world who really _knows_ me. You're the most important person in my life, and I would never give up our time together for anyone else if I could help it. I swear it.” Kimberly looks at her intently, trying to communicate just how much truth there is in every word. She truly doesn’t know what she would do without Trini and their time together. She thinks she might crumble under the pressure if not for her.

Trini looks back at her with guarded eyes. Kimberly can’t tell what she’s thinking when she’s like this. The girl is damnably good at concealing her feelings when she wants to be, even after all these years. Finally Trini's eyes soften, and she unclenches her jaw and takes a deep breath. As she exhales, the tension seems to leave her and she says, “I know. I’m sorry,” very quietly.

A feeling of relief floods her. She draws Trini into a tight hug and is pleased when the other girl relaxes into it immediately. “It’s all right,” Kim says, “ _I’m_ sorry that I did anything to make you doubt how important you were.”

Trini shakes her head, “You didn’t, not really. Sometimes I just... think too hard.” She offers no further explanation, and seems a bit embarrassed. Kim knows not to prod her further.

She draws back and gestures with her head towards the gates, with a smile, “Well, now that that’s cleared up, I think we ought to go to the lake tonight. It’s always beautiful when the moon is full.”

Trini makes a sweeping gesture, “After you, Princess.” She seems fully recovered now, although Kim knows that there’s probably more to it now. (The nickname was something that happened a few years ago. Kim had done something especially haughty, and Trini had called her princess and it just stuck).

But she's resolved not to push, so she plays along and just rolls her eyes, “Enough of that, you’ll give me ambitions above my station.”

“As though you haven’t already got those,” Trini says, her smirk returning.

“Yes, but you're not supposed to actually _mention_ them. It’s impolite…”

Trini laughs at that, and Kim’s smile widens at the sound as she heads towards the castle wall, satisfied that they've worked through the problem at least.

**

As she follows Kimberly out the side gate and off into the woods, Trini is practically shaking with relief. She curses herself for acting like a jealous lovesick fool, the kind of person who gets turned into a tree or a spider or a sad looking flower in Greek myths.

Kimberly had brought her a book of them once, and she'd enjoyed them immensely. The idiocy of some of the people in them made her laugh... who has sex with a swan? She'd always told herself she would never be that stupid, but she was starting to understand what love did to people. She can only be grateful that Kimberly thought it was simply a matter of Trini thinking she was being replaced. While that was certainly part of it, there was something else as well. Something Kim could never know.

She'd seen Jason and Kimberly during training, always standing close to one another, sometimes even touching (although on reflection, those touches were no more intimate than one soldier correcting another's fighting stance). She'd listened to Kim talk about Jason in glowing tones. His humor, his fighting skills, his decency and the way he wanted so much to live up to his father's expectations. She should have been pleased that at least one of the boys in the training group liked her, just like Kim had been with Zack, but of course her mess of a brain couldn't just accept that Kim had another person to confide in and let it go.

Instead, every time she praised Jason, the little voice in the back of Trini's head that told her that Kimberly would eventually have to get tired of her (no matter how much time they spent together, no matter how much Kimberly confided in her) got louder and louder. It ground away slowly at her confidence in their friendship, so by the time Kim told Trini that Jason understood _better than anyone_ the way her family's pressure got to her sometime, and the voice got so loud it drowned out everything in her head, it was easy to retreat into the old bitterness, the old feeling of being disposable and invisible and worthless.

After walking (running) away from Kimberly, she'd spent the night in what Zack called her "brooding place" in the back of the stables, where it was dark and almost always warm and there was a sort of horsey smell that Trini found comforting. She hated that she'd left Kim hurt and confused in her wake, but she'd thought about the whole situation all afternoon. Jason was much better for Kim than she was. Handsome, steadfast, ambitious, and evidently he understood parts of her that Trini never could. It had been inevitable, but the moment was finally here. The moment when Kim would realize someone else would give her everything Trini could and more, perhaps even (she thought bitterly) someone to acceptable to love.

And Kim being Kim she would never just abruptly break off contact. She'd slowly just start drifting away, spending less and less time with Trini until suddenly she wasn't there anymore, the process long, slow and torturous. So Trini had decided to be the stronger person, and just cut things off abruptly. She knew Kim would be upset but she figured that she'd at least have Jason, and eventually, she'd decide that it was better anyway.

She hadn’t factored in Kim’s persistence, the fact that she would demand to know why Trini was running. After their just concluded conversation, Trini thinks she _may_ have overthought the whole thing just a bit too much, and her entire scenario _may_ have underestimated Kimberly's intelligence and loyalty. The look in Kimberly's eyes when she'd told Trini that no one could ever replace her had taken Trini's breath away and made her feel vaguely ashamed for ever thinking that Kim could abandon her so easily. It didn't make that damned voice in her head go away, but it smothered it fairly thoroughly.

None of that mitigated the stupidity of Trini's overreaction... or the reason it had been so severe. All it really did was make it even more vital that Trini never let Kim know the truth of her feelings.

**

After her parents died, Trini had learned the hard way that she couldn't always control the world around her. The general injustices of society and the more specific horrible behaviors of other people weren't things that a starving, scrawny eight year old orphan who barely spoke the language could do much about. But what she could do was control herself, her own reactions and behaviors and emotions. When she was upset, she kept it tamped down. When she was angry, it was a controlled simmer, not an out of control wildfire of rage. She was always acutely aware of her own feelings, even if she couldn't always understand them.

Emotions can be useful, but they also made her vulnerable if she didn’t keep them in check. And love, it seemed, was the most inconveniently uncontrollable emotion of all

She’d always known about love as a concept. She'd read poetry and books about it, and while it was presented as some ideal thing, it often ended in tragedy and disaster, and it sounded a lot to her like giving another person so much of yourself that they'd be in a perfect position to hurt you badly.

She was also aware that she was reaching the age where she was supposed, to start looking at boys in a different way. The boys she worked with had certainly started to talk about girls differently, and their words cruder than the flowery language of the poets. They talked about girls as objects, things to possess or use.

She thought it might just be the fact that they were so young, but when she heard older boys or grown men talking about women, they weren't exactly _romantic_ either. They talked about women who would fall in love with them and provide them children or keep their homes. Perhaps not all men were like this (Kim insisted her father treated her mother as an equal), but it seemed to her that the ones in her very small world were, and since they were the only ones she was like to ever meet, it was not an appealing prospect.

So for a while she had thought that the fact she wasn't attracted to any of the boys was simply because of their general unpleasantness, but then she'd met Zack, who was handsome and friendly and not entirely insufferable, and she still felt nothing. No stirring inside. No swelling of her heart like they said in the books. Of course she was young, but she thought perhaps she should feel something by now. Even Kimberly had talked to her about boys she found attractive, even if their personalities were horrible or they were unattainable (Captain Oliver, for instance).

She’d wondered if perhaps she’d spent so much exercising such tight control over her emotions that perhaps she just couldn't love anyone. Love was supposed to be impulsive and unexpected after all. But she didn't dwell on it. For one, the thought was vaguely depressing, and for another, she was not exactly the sort of person anyone was lining up to marry.

But then she starts to notice that things shifting in the way she sees Kimberly, in the way her casual touches make her feel, in the way her laugh makes her heart feel light. She starts to watch with rapt attention when Kim talks, examining the lines of her face like she's memorizing them, even though she already knows them better than she knows her own.

Stray thoughts start occurring to her. She wonders what it would be like to run her fingers through Kimberly's hair, what it might feel like to take her hand. This happens so subtly over a period of time that she doesn't fully recognize what it is until they're sitting on the lake's edge after swimming, sitting next to each other in their drying underclothes and she thinks about what it might feel to _kiss_ Kimberly.

At which point she begins to panic. She manages to make it through that evening well enough, and then spends a few hours in the back corner of the stables, staring into the dark and thinking over what’s just happened and what it could mean, or rather how it could ruin everything.

It isn't that she believes that what she's feeling is wrong. Kimberly has brought her books from Lady Hart's native land that speak of such things and find no more shame in them than the love of men and women together, so she knew such a thing was possible. The Church thinks it's wrong, but it's never done her any favors. From what she’s seen does more good for the men in charge than those who spend their lives praying for things that will never happen, so as far as she's concerned they and their judgments can rot.

No, it's not that. It's the fact that she knows that Kimberly doesn't feel the same way. She's obviously interested in boys (for some reason), and even if she were interested in girls, she's unlikely to be interested in someone like Trini. Kimberly is Kimberly. She's elegant, beautiful, destined to be the Lady of a great house with all the responsibilities and duties that implied, and Trini is just... herself: a stable hand. The best she could possibly expect in life is that she might one day become a stablemaster, and even that is near unobtainable because she's a girl.

And even if, by some miracle, Kimberly did return her feelings, there's no way that Trini would expose her to the danger that loving another girl might bring her if someone found out.

And aside from all of that, if she reveals her feelings it opens her up not only to rejection. What if Kimberly is repulsed by the thought? What if she decides she wants nothing to do with Trini anymore? Even if she was turned her away kindly, it would change everything about how Kim looks at her. Trini can’t risk ruining them like that.

So she had resolved to keep her feelings to herself, and hope that perhaps if she didn’t tell Kim and she kept reminding herself that the entire thing is hopeless, they’ll eventually fade.

Clearly that hasn’t happened yet. After what the near disaster she’d just gone through, Trini knows she needs to redouble her efforts. She can't become stupidly jealous every time Kimberly actually likes a man, because eventually a lot of men are going to be around. So as they arrive at the lake and Kimberly sits down and pulls out a half a loaf of bread from dinner for them to share, Trini settles in next to her and tells herself that will be the last time she will allow her feelings to betray her that way.

+++

When Kimberly is fourteen, just after she's finished training with the guards, her father begins introducing her to possible husbands. One of her many obligations is to marry and produce an heir, and if not for the training, the parade of suitors would have started even earlier. Sons of suitable noblemen, minor knights and more prominent merchants from all over France are paraded through the Great Hall, a different one seemingly every month until they all start to blur together.

It makes her feel like the dancing bear she saw once as a child, forced to perform the same role over and over again. She has to go with them on rides through the countryside, sing songs for them (which she hates because she only ever sings for her parents and for Trini), sit next to them at dinner and make blandly neutral polite conversation with them, all of this while feigning rapt attention, laughing at the all correct moments and never saying anything that might be considered upsetting or unladylike.

She finds some of them attractive enough, but there’s never anything more to it than that. Her father is the type of man who would prefer for her to at least enjoy the company of whomever she marries, so he's waiting for her to make a connection with someone (why he should think the prospects in France were so wonderful when he went halfway around the world to find a bride, she can't understand), but months pass, then a year, then two, and as understanding as he is, he begins to get concerned.

There's nothing _wrong_ with them, per se. With a few humorous or infuriating exceptions, all of them are perfectly put together with impeccable manners. They ask her all the right (incredibly boring and predictable) questions and give all the correct (incredibly boring and predictable) answers when she asks them questions. She doesn't learn anything real about them and they don't learn anything real about her. They praise her talents and tell her she’s lovely automatically, thus rendering the words meaningless (even though _does_ look lovely). The problem is that they're all playing a role, just as she is, and that they're all doing it the exact same way. None of them stand out as anything other than one in a series of men who want to inherit her father's lands.

It’s ironic to her that she has to bring along one of her personal guards (usually Jason, who is a member of the team of guards her father assigned to her when she began this ordeal) and a lady in waiting to chaperone her when she's "alone" with them, given that she never feels the least temptation to do anything with them other than allow them to take her hand to help her down from her horse. Not that she even needs them to do _that_ , given that she’s been riding since she was four and is more than capable of dismounting without falling on her face, but it makes them feel useful and masculine and she's supposed to be someone who wants to make men feel useful and masculine.

Mostly she just catalogs their quirks and eccentricities and thinks of amusing anecdotes that she can tell Trini later.

A year into the search, after a particularly long afternoon of riding with a merchant's son who was pompous, condescending, and had all the charm and intelligence of a particularly dim tadpole, Kimberly had shouldered her way into her mother's reading room and curled up on her lap like she'd done when she was a child. "What is love anyway? Is it really so wonderful that I should have to endure all of _this?"_ she had asked, with frustration and exhaustion lacing her voice.

And her mother had told that _yes_ , true love was worth it. That true love wasn’t the grand gestures or some instant spark (although those certainly counted for something), but the smaller, everyday things: The way you looked at one another, the way that you would do anything to protect each other, to make one another feel better, to help each other. The way that they were the first person you thought of to tell when something good happened, and the only person you wanted to go to for support when something bad happened.

Kimberly had laughed bitterly at the prospect of ever finding something like that with one of the dull men she's met, and then she’d gone silent and let her mother soothe her.

**

One night, a few weeks after her sixteenth birthday and over two years after the cavalcade of suitors has begun, she’s sitting with Trini, regaling her with some ridiculous tale of her latest prospect, listening to her laugh heartily at all the right places, when Kimberly realizes that nothing in her life feels as good as this. Not just this moment, although these moments have been the best part of her day since she was nine, but Trini herself.

She realizes Trini is the person her mother described, that she is all those things for Kimberly. That hearing Trini laugh like this (making her laugh like this) is the most satisfying part of most of her days. And more than that, she realizes she's probably known this on some level for years. She almost feels sorry for father. He's gone to a great deal of trouble and expense in order to find a man she has some sort of connection with, who she might someday feel something deeper for, but it's too late. She's already made that connection, she already feels those feelings, it's just not for any of them. The realization seems sudden, but once she’s awake to it, it feels as though it’s something she’s always known, as though it was just outside her field of view and she just had to tilt her view slightly to see it.

The thought of it stops her talking altogether. Trini doesn’t notice at first, still chuckling at the story. When she does, she looks over at Kim, her brow furrowing with confusion, “You all right, Kimberly? You look like some woodland creature just bit you in the ass..."

Kim isn’t sure what to say. Part of her is happy that she’s finally realized it, but there’s another, larger, part of her that’s wary of the feeling. It’s not that she doubts it (now that she understands what the feeling is, she _knows_ it’s real as surely as she knows the sun will rise tomorrow morning), it’s just that it complicates things.

Kimberly’s parents are remarkably open minded for who they are and the time they live in. Her mother comes from a land where that is much more… understanding of different forms of love. Some of the books her mother had brought with her from her native land were quite frank about these things, and very adamant in their insistence that they were entirely natural, so she knows that they wouldn't find the mere _idea_ of girl loving another one repulsive. But her father is an important man, she is his only heir, and they do not live in the wild lands of the Far East, they live in France where the Catholic Church is powerful and the people are not nearly so understanding as the ones in her mother's books.

Regardless of how much he loves her, regardless of how patient he is being with allowing her to find a husband she actually likes, she knows that at some point, her father _must_ marry her off. It is the only way to secure their lands and legacy, and it would be no different if she was a boy. He might accept that she loves a girl, perhaps even accept that she loves a girl who is a servant, but he would still have to make her choose a husband, and likely give a familiar speech about duty and responsibility being more important than personal desires. She is her father's only daughter, and she has always known her duties come above all else...

(Although she's also clever and resourceful and more than a little devious and she thinks if she wanted it enough, she could make it work.)

But none of that would matter if Trini didn't feel the same way, and Kimberly can't be sure that she does. She knows Trini has no love for the church, and only goes to services every Sunday to avoid disappointing the old stablemaster, Navarre. Trini lives by a set of her own rules that mainly seems to consist of not bothering anyone who doesn't bother her first. She has little time to judge anyone else’s private morals and mainly just wants to be left alone. Kimberly she doesn't think the _idea_ of loving another girl would repulse Trini more than it would disturb Lord and Lady Hart.

It seems highly unlikely, however, that Trini would like girls (just because such a thing exists in the world doesn’t mean it applies to anyone Kimberly knows… well, aside from herself evidently).

When she thinks about it, Trini has never even shown any interest in boys, which Kim recognizes is unusual for a girl her age, if the near constant chatter of her ladies’ maids is anything to by. Kimberly herself has had a somewhat embarrassing crush on Captain Oliver (twenty years her senior, married with five children) for awhile. She's discussed this with Trini (she tells Trini everything), but Trini has never talked boys at all. Kim had thought when Zack Taylor appeared, but Trini has she never spoken about him with anything other than vaguely irritated but fond exasperation. This doesn’t necessarily mean she’s not interested in them, only that she’s not interested in people much in general and has very little free time to think about romance.

Even if she did like girls, Kim has never noticed anything that would indicate Trini liked her. Admittedly, Kim hasn’t exactly been _searching_ for signs of such an interest... and since it took her this long to sort out her _own_ interest, she probably can’t be relied upon to be particularly accurate in gauging someone else’s, even if it is someone she knows as well as Trini.

By this point, Kimberly's thoughts are swirling uselessly and Trini’s expression is getting more and more concerned. Kim can't pin anything down with Trini right there and looking at her. She needs more time to process all of this before she decides what to do about this. She can be impulsive at times, but this is too important. She won't risk ruining their friendship or making things unbearably awkward between them without giving full consideration to all the implications.

So at last she shakes her head, smiles and says, “I’m fine.” Then she continues her story as though she was never interrupted.

**

Unfortunately there's no one she can talk it over with. Her parents don't even know she's friends with Trini. Jason does know (although he doesn't fully understand _why_ the two girls are friends), because these days he has to help her get out of the castle, but she doesn't really think she can talk about this sort of thing with him. Trini is the one she usually talks to when she has real dilemma and obviously that’s not an option.

So she has to work through it on her own. For a fortnight, it seems like it's all she thinks about, looming in her brain as her body goes on autopilot, entertaining and taking lessons and nodding and smiling. When she's with Trini, she tries to put it all out of her head and just live in the moment. She thinks Trini can tell something's a little off, but when she mentions it, Kim just tells her it's all the suitor business weighing on her, and Trini accepts this and doesn't press. She's always been good at sensing when Kim needs space.

Of course, being around Trini doesn't necessarily help because it completely short circuits the logical process she's trying to go through. When she's there, Kim can only think about how much she loves being with her, and she begins to think that if there was some chance of Trini returning her feelings, she would throw all her obligations aside entirely, which is not a constructive line of thought.

Nor is it helpful that she starts to be increasingly aware of the fact that Trini is a very attractive person. It's as though she's been stumbling around in the dark side by side with Trini for years, and all of a sudden someone's lit a torch, and now she can’t stop noticing things she never had before. Trini is all contrasts, hard and soft existing in the same body, like the way she's surly and closed off with everyone else, but can be soft and warm with Kimberly.

And perhaps it’s just that she’s now aware of her own feelings, or perhaps it’s that she’s looking at Trini so closely all the time now, but she starts to think perhaps the idea that Trini might return her feelings isn’t so improbable after all. She catches Trini's  eyes lingering just a moment too long, or hears just the slightest intake of breath when Kimberly touches her shoulder or her arm. Once, when Kim hugs her goodnight, Trini holds on for just a split second too long, and when they finally pull away, Kim catches just the slightest hint of guilt in Trini’s eyes, like she’s been caught doing something she shouldn’t… which is exactly how Kim looks when she’s been looking at Trini too long.

She finds herself thinking back, trying to recall moments where Trini might have hinted at some more than friendly interest in her, and for some reason she thinks back to that moment almost three years ago now when she'd gotten so upset about Kimberly's friendship with Jason. At the time, she'd thought it was just about friendship, but she remembers Trini's wounded eyes, her clenched fists, the way she was ready to stop seeing Kimberly altogether rather than see her around someone she thought was more worthy of her.

She had thought at the time it was just because she was afraid of losing Kimberly's friendship, but now she wasn't so sure. It also astonishes her to think that Trini may have felt something for years.

After two weeks, Kim resolves to talk to her. Even if she’s misread the signs, she has faith that Trini won't reject her or judge her for her feelings. If Trini doesn't feel the same way, it will hurt, but she will deal with it. She can still be Trini's friend. Besides, eventually the pressure of keeping something this big from the other girl would begin to weigh on her too much. She’s not sure there was ever a possibility of keeping it secret for long.

The night she chooses for the discussion, they sit in one of their favorite spots, a cliff overlooking Arbre des Anges, the torchlit streets glowing faintly in the distance. There's a half moon in the sky, and it illuminates the sharp line of Trini's jaw, and reflects in her dark eyes, the eyes that only look soft like they do now around Kim. Her hair is still damp and sleek from the bath. In this moment she's as beautiful as Kimberly has ever seen her.

She thinks back to their first language lesson, when Kimberly was a bossy impulsive little girl who still thought being her father’s heir sounded exciting and romantic, and Trini was a scared, half-starved orphan, who’d been astonished by the idea of kindness because she’d never experienced it before. They've changed so much since then, but Trini has only gotten more important to her, and Kimberly has only gotten more grateful for Trini's presence in her life. The thought gives her the push she needs to speak.

She takes a deep breath and says, "Trini, I need to ask you about something very important."

Trini turns and smiles at her, smiling in that way that she only does for Kim, "Sure, princess, you know you can ask me anything, though if it's about whether the Duchess de Bouef should sit on the left or the right of Lord Dejeuner at dinner, I'm afraid I won't be much help."

And as she watches Trini speak, Kimberly is overwhelmed by the affection in her heart, and the look in Trini’s eyes, and the view across the valley, and the moonlight, and sharpness of Trini's jawline, and she leans forward and kisses her.

It’s impulsive and reckless and perfect.

At least it is until Trini runs away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hope you liked it... at least until that last part (sorrrry...... sort of). feel free to comment if you'd like. I was serious when I said it'd all sort of blurred by the time I edited, so please let me know if you see any major issues (misplaced words are my nemesis). see 'unremovable note' below for tumblr url...
> 
> And please turn your eyes away from the fact that the chapter count keeps going up (I'm allowed to be optimistic!!)


	5. Part III - the past (chapter 3)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> they can't fight these feelings anymore

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little note on ages and timelines: I’m not being super explicit about when things happen, but for clarity’s sake, the chapter starts (and Kim and Trini first kiss takes place) a little after Kim turns 16. Trini is about six months younger than her (keeping in mind that people matured a lot faster back in medieval times). This chapter covers about a year and a half give or take, so Kim is 17 going on 18 when it ends. Jason is a little under a year older than Kim.
> 
> it seems that every chapter seems to cover less and less time but oh well. enjoy. :)

Part III – the past (chapter three)

_Zack knows this story by heart. He lived it and there are parts of it that are burned into his memory forever. He is a naturally optimistic person. Despite all that’s happened to him, his mother taught him to look for the good in everything, to see that even the worst situation can have something positive about it._

_So in spite of all the bad that this story has in it, all the pain and longing and evil, when he hears it, he also hears the good: the love his friends feel for one another, the one that overcame so much, that still exists even when they both know it’s impossible. The friendship that he and the others have formed, the bonds that could never be broken._

_Nothing is all good or all bad. The problem lies with imbalance, too much of the bad overtaking too little good. All he can hope is that the scales will re-balance themselves and that there is can still be a possibility of a happy ending._

+++

Trini is terrified. She’s spent years keeping her feelings for Kimberly locked up tight, limiting herself to the occasional lingering look when Kim’s attention is diverted.

She might almost think herself pathetic (and sometimes she does), but being in love with Kimberly hasn’t exactly destroyed her own prospects. It’s not as though a long line of suitors is being paraded in front of _her_ like cattle. She sees the same people every day, day in and day out. All are boys and most dislike her or ignore her (Zack is the only obvious exception, and the thought of any sort of romance with him makes her vaguely queasy). Even if she were remotely interested in boys, little is expected of girls like her except to marry some farmer or fellow servant and have enough children that the castle will be fully staffed for the next generation as well.

She’s lived with her feelings and remained convinced that, even if Kimberly were inclined towards such things, she would never choose her. It had taken years to accept that Kimberly was her friend, that she truly liked her and enjoyed her company, but it was madness to believe that she would ever want anything more. Just being _friends_ with the girl who tended to the horses was outlandish enough.

So when Kim kisses her, it’s as though her brain short circuits. At first, she’s so shocked she gives into instinct. The longing that’s been simmering in her for so long flares brightly and she kisses her back. The feeling of it drives everything else from her mind. It’s the first time either of them has ever kissed anyone, and it’s a bit awkward and little fumbling but Trini thinks it’s entirely perfect… everything about Kim is soft and warm and she can feel the love in it, the affection, the _desire_ (as though Kimberly has actually wanted this as much as Trini has). The whole moment is exactly like Trini had dreamed it so many times.

Kim has just put her hand on the back of Trini's neck and is pulling her in even closer when something rustles behind them, and just like that the spell is broken and reality sets in. Trini suddenly realizes exactly what she's doing, and springs away as though burned. Before she’s even consciously thought about her actions, she’s on her feet and backing away.

Kimberly looks a little dazed, her lips still slightly parted, her eyes unfocused, but she’s still smiling as she turns to meet Trini’s gaze, “It’s all right, it was just a squirrel or something, you know no one comes out here…” it takes her a moment to realize that Trini is just staring at her, her face grim and closed off. 

Her gaze sharpens and her smile falls, she stands and takes a step towards Trini, concerned, “Trini…”

Trini is paralyzed. She has trouble finding the words to express herself under normal circumstances, and right now, with her emotions high and Kimberly looking at her with such concern, her cheeks still slightly flushed, her eyes soft, she has no idea what to say. Her thoughts are a jumbled mess. Part of her wants to push Kimberly against the nearest tree and kiss her until they both forget their own names. Another part knows what has just happened is a mistake. That it will only lead to _pain_ , probably for both of them... definitely for Trini.

When Kimberly takes another step, Trini finally moves, taking a step back and putting up one hand. The pain that flashes across Kim's face is so sharp that Trini looks away. She keeps her eyes on the ground as she speaks, and somehow this reminds her of the first time they met, when she was so angry and scared and uncertain of Kimberly and her intentions and _everything_ in her life, "We can't," she says her voice shaky, and she only realizes after she's said it that she's so upset she's speaking Spanish again.

"Why not?" Kim asks, switching to Spanish seamlessly, “I thought you felt the same way." Her voice is so small and vulnerable and unlike anything Trini is used to hearing from her that she suddenly feels awful.

"What does it matter if I do?" she asks.  She intends for it to come out strong and forceful, but her voice breaks halfway through because that's when she chooses to look up and sees that Kimberly's expression is wide open and full of hurt. Hurt that _Trini_ put there. For a moment she almost crumbles, gives in to what she wants to do so badly, but then she realizes that she's stopping this now so she can _prevent_ Kimberly from being hurt further. "It _can't_ happen."

"What do you mean? Why not?" Kimberly has taken another step towards her. Trini can see her trying to push past the disappointment at Trini’s reaction, trying to get herself together, trying to figure out _why_. So damn typical of her, thinking that if she can always find a way through if she just thinks about it hard enough.

Trini tries to think of a way to answer, of a way to tell Kimberly that if they were discovered, the consequences for Kim would be catastrophic. A way to say that she won't let Kim do that to herself, that she could never be responsible for anything bad happening to her. That she's not _worth_ it no matter what Kim thinks she feels for her. But she can't. She knows the words will cause Kimberly pain even if they're the right thing to say, and Trini feels like she's hurt her more in the last five minutes than she ever wanted to in a lifetime.

So she turns and darts back into the woods.

**

Kimberly knows Trini as well as anyone, but she’s never seen the other girl so upset, and it’s making her gut churn. She knows that when Trini is like this she doesn’t like to talk until she’s had time to process everything in her head, so Kim resolves to give her time to do it, no matter how much she feels like she's had her own heart ripped out.

She goes back to the castle and lets her mind wander as her lady in waiting gets her ready for bed. When she lays back in the dark, staring up at the ceiling, she still hasn’t stopped going over everything in her head over and over again.

When Trini had said they couldn't continue, Kimberly had thought that perhaps she'd misread everything and Trini was disgusted by what had happened, but after that initial jolt of disappointment, she'd taken a good look at the other girl and realized that that wasn't it at all. If her initial response was anything to go by, Trini had very much wanted to keep going, she just wouldn't let herself. Knowing Trini, it had likely had something to do with her not thinking she was good enough for Kim.

The more Kimberly considers it, the more she thinks she can’t let the matter rest, certainly not until the next night. She doesn’t believe she can wait that long to speak to her, and seeking Trini out during the day with no official purpose would be ill advised. And a large part of her is afraid that Trini will just avoid her. The girl can be incredibly evasive when she wants to be, and while she’s never exercised that particular set of skills on Kim herself, she wouldn’t put it past her now. Trini was more stubborn than she was.

So she pulled on a dressing gown and a pair of shoes and quietly slipped out of her room. Jason is posted outside her door, as he usually is, and he frowns at her, “I thought you were in for the night…”

“I was,” she doesn’t mean to be evasive, and she trusts Jason, but she’s not sure she even knows how to explain this to herself, so she doesn’t think she can come up with words anyone else would understand. He’s smart enough to know where she’s headed, and that’s all that matters.

He furrows his brow, but then takes in her disheveled appearance and drawn expression and nods, “All right. But I’m going to escort you.” 

They walk down the quiet, cool stone corridor, Jason holding a torch out in front of them. “Thank you,” Kim says quietly.

“You know I’ll do anything I can to help you, but… isn’t she in bed?”

“No. I don’t think she is.”

“Then where…?”

Kimberly knew there was only one place Trini would go if she was that upset…

**

Trini is sitting on an overturned box in the back corner of the stables, elbows on her knees, head in her hands. The only light is from the torch in the sconce in the wall next to the door. It throws flickering shadows around the space as Kim approaches. Trini's head jerks up when she hears her footsteps, and when she realizes who it is, she stands abruptly, her hands falling to her sides, fists clenching. The horse in the stall closest to her stirs restlessly, as though it can feel Trini's distress.

Kim can't make out the expression on Trini's face in the low light, but her stance is defensive, as though she's bracing for a fight. Kimberly hates that Trini has closed up like this, she almost wants to say that she would be fine if they just ignored their feelings, just so that Trini will start acting normal again.

But she feels like she spends half her life ignoring her feelings around everyone else, cutting pieces of her true self off in order to become whatever they need her to be. She couldn't stand having to do that with Trini, especially when she knows that the foolish, stubborn girl is trying to be all _noble_ and _protective_ as she denies them both what they truly want. Perhaps just as importantly, she knows that, even if she did concede now, it wouldn't stop their feelings from existing. Denying them would bleed painfully into everything they did going forward. It would ruin them slowly.

So she refuses to walk away now or deny her feelings. It will break her heart if Trini continues to refuse her, but Kimberly has to at least try to show her why all the risks will be worth it, why _Trini_ is worth it.

She considers her words carefully, not wanting to say something that will make this worse. "Trini, I didn’t mean to… startle you earlier. I would never force you to do anything if you didn't truly want to, and if you can tell me truly that you don't want me, that you don't want this, then I'll leave. But please, please talk to me first."

“We can’t do this. We can’t,” Trini refuses to look up, and her voice is so quiet and hoarse Kimberly can barely hear it. 

“Do you really think that?” Kim takes another slow step forward, approaching as though Trini is a skittish horse who could bolt at any moment.

“Yes,” Trini obviously wants it to come out resolute and steadfast, but it’s all been half muttered and weak, as though she’s fighting with herself and her own instincts.

She still won’t look up. Kimberly's voice is low and steady as she says, "I know you, Trini. I know you feel the same way about me as I do about you.”

"It doesn't matter."

"It does. It means you want this as much as I do. It means we could be so happy together."

Trini doesn't answer, her eyes are still steadfastly attached to the hay covered stable floor, her hair falling in waves around her face so that Kim can't really see her expression fully, and her jaw is set. Kim stops about a foot away from her, far enough not to be in her personal space, close enough that if Kim wanted to reach out and touch her, she could. Kim's eyes have adjusted to the dark, and she can see there's a muscle twitching in Trini's jaw, that her hands are shaking just slightly. She must be going to tremendous effort to hold herself back.

"Trini," Kimberly says quietly, and Trini flinches back slightly, hitting the wall behind her, as though she didn't realize how close Kim had gotten, "What do _you_ want?"

Trini finally looks at her, and her eyes are red rimmed and puffy, which makes Kim's chest ache. Trini doesn’t cry (when Kimberly had asked her why, she’d replied, “Because I have enough problems already without actually showing people a weakness”). She seems surprised Kim is asking for her the question, and it reminds her of the way Trini had been when they first met, when she seemed constantly stunned that Kimberly was even noticing her, let alone being kind to her.

Trini studies Kim's face for a very long time, and as she does, Kim can see her barriers melting away. Her eyes are wide and vulnerable and exhausted, and Kimberly thinks that maybe she's allowed the mask to drop simply because she's just so tired of holding it in place. When she speaks her voice is like her eyes, tired and raw, and slightly nasal from the crying. If Kimberly was standing any further away she wouldn't be able to hear it, "You know what I want."

The force of Trini's words and the emotions in her eyes hit Kim like a physical thing, and she takes a step forward without even thinking, but before she can go further, Trini is shaking her head slowly, her voice slow and resigned as she speaks, the words falling from her lips as if she can't stop them, "But it doesn't matter. You're what I've _wanted_ for years, but wanting things doesn't mean we can have them, or that they're a good idea."

"You've wanted me for years?" Kim asks, astonished.

"That is not the point! The point is I won't let you put yourself in danger for me."

"You're giving up on something that hasn't even had a chance to start!"

Suddenly, Trini surges forward, her face so close to Kim's she can feel the heat radiating off of her, "Because you'll get _hurt_ and I'm not _worth it_!" she says, her voice pained, frustrated, her eyes shining with unshed tears again. She swipes at her face angrily and leans back again heavily, her head hitting the wall with a light thud.

Kimberly shakes her head, angry that Trini can't see just how worth it she is. She sighs, "By God, you are so _frustrating_..."

Trini frowns, tilting her head slightly, momentarily shocked out of her melancholy, "What?"

"Do you somehow believe that I have lost my senses? That I've forgotten who I am and what my obligations are? That I've not thought about the consequences, and what acting on this might mean?"

"No," Trini says. Kimberly was impulsive at times, but not stupid.

"Then perhaps you should believe that I know what I want, and that I believe that you are _more_ than worth any risks there may be. Unless you're a seer and just haven't told me, you can't _know_ that something bad will happen..."

"Kimberly..." Trini whispers, sounding tired. Her eyes are back on the floor, but the tension has left her body. Kimberly can't tell what she's thinking, so she just keeps going, afraid if she stops Trini will collapse in on herself again.

"Perhaps this won't work. Perhaps you'll suddenly decide you can no longer tolerate me..."

"Impossible," the word is little more than an exhale of breath but so full of affection... of love, that Kimberly feels momentarily like her heart is floating free of her chest.

She finally steps closer, and reaches forward to take Trini's left hand carefully in her right, as though she’s handling something precious and fragile, which in a way she supposes she is. Trini stiffens slightly at the touch, but doesn’t pull away. Trini is several inches shorter than her (still), so Kim crooks her left index finger under her chin and gently tilts her face up, searching her brown eyes carefully, "...but it's foolish to deny something that has the potential to be great on the chance that something might go wrong in the future."

There's another long pause, and then Trini sighs, finally surrendering to what she's evidently wanted for years and pushes up on her toes to kiss her. Kimberly leans down and meets her halfway. Just like their first kiss, it starts out gentle and tentative, but quickly gets more heated.

This time when Kim tries to pull her closer, Trini lets her.

**

For a while everything is good. Trini is happy, truly and unreservedly happy for the first time in her life.

Kimberly still has her suitors, but now she's even less interested in them than before. She pastes on a smile during the day, and at night she sneaks away to see Trini. And in some ways it's the same as it ever was. Trini is still her closest friend, still a source of comfort and security, but now they spend at least as much time kissing as they do talking.

They're both inexperienced. Everything is new to them, but both of them are fast learners, and soon enough leaving one another at the end of the night is a torment. They've put off being together for too long, and once they've kissed, everything else comes naturally.

As soon as Trini’s kissed Kimberly, she feels like she has to touch her, as soon as she’s touched her, she feels like she has to share _everything_ with her. As much as Trini enjoys reading and educating herself, and as much as some of Lady Hart’s books are quite clear about how such things are done, she finds instinct is better. Touching Kimberly, learning her reactions, making her come undone rapidly becomes one of Trini’s favorite things in the world next to Kim doing the same to her. It's another thing that they've been taught was wrong to indulge in before a properly sanctioned and consecrated marriage, but quite frankly neither of them has ever felt so right about anything in their lives.

They manage to keep what they're doing a secret. They're used to acting as though they don't know one another during the day (although this is somewhat more difficult now that Trini knows what kissing Kim feels like, and wanted to be doing it as much as possible), and they’re skilled at staying out of sight at night. They've been sneaking around the castle and grounds for years, and it pays off. Jason is promoted to Captain of Kimberly's personal guard when he turns seventeen, which makes it even easier to help Kim get in and out of her chambers at night.

Trini knows that all the problems that were there before still exist, that eventually the world will catch up with them, but she pushes it into the background. Once Kimberly is married what's between them will become impossible. Kimberly is the optimistic one, always telling her that it won't matter, that what they have will be forever, but Trini is a realist. However, she's decided that, just this once, she's taking Kimberly's advice.

She won't allow the things that might happen in the future dictate her behavior now. She isn’t foolish enough to believe that this would last forever, but for once in her life, she’s decided to put those things aside and allow herself to live in the moment and actually enjoy it.

 **

After so many years, Kimberly was sure she knew everything there was to know about Trini, but it turns out there was at least one thing she’d kept concealed. She asks about it one night perhaps a month after they’ve gotten together. They’re lying beside one another, their clothes in a tangled pile next to their blanket, looking up at the stars.

“When did you know?”

“Why does it matter?”

“I’m just… trying to work things around in my head.”

“I probably truly admitted it to myself around the time you and golden boy first became friends.”

 “Since then??”

“Around then, yes.”

“But… that’s three years.”

“About that long, yes.”

“I knew for certain for a fortnight and I couldn’t stop myself revealing my feelings!”

“Well, I’ve got better impulse control than you, _amor_.”

“I don’t have to have good impulse control, I’m of the noble class.”

“True enough. You don’t see _me_ complaining about that.”

“I just don’t know how you did it.”

“What? Kept myself from kissing you senseless every time we saw each other? You think you're so irresistible?”

“That’s not what I meant.”

“Don't sound so disappointed. You _are_ that irresistible. I just have a lot of practice keeping my emotions in check.”

“I think a part of me has known at that long. I was so stupid.”

“So was I. But what we were doesn’t matter. All that matters is what we are.”

“Hm perhaps... But we should certainly remember who said something first…”

“Yes, I don’t think I could forget that you were the oblivious one and were the first to speak…”

“You were just as oblivious as me!!”

“I don’t think either us will win awards for being clear eyed about each other’s feelings, princess.”

“I love it when you call me princess.”

“Really? How much?”’

“I think it’s better if I show you…”

**

While it’s necessary to keep their relationship concealed from almost everyone, they know there are at least two people who will most certainly figure it out on their own if they don’t say something. Jason knows Kimberly too well to be fooled by her normal “perfect noble daughter” façade, and Zack is too good at reading the minute changes in Trini’s various scowls, glares and flat expressions to be oblivious for long.

Kimberly tells Jason not long after it begins. She's walking around the courtyard, taking the air one afternoon, Jason beside her. She'd been thinking about the best way to broach the subject, how to tell him, wondering what his reaction would be, and she finally just decides to say it and let things unfold as they will. She trusts Jason is loyal enough that he’ll be discreet. So, without looking at him, she says, "Trini and I... are together."

"I know. Isn’t that the whole reason I aid you in sneaking out the side gate every night?" he says as though this as though it’s the most obvious thing in the world. Clearly he did not understand the implication.

"No," she says slowly, distinctly, "I mean, we are _together_... as a husband and wife are together..."

Jason's step doesn't falter, but he's silent for several long moments. Kimberly doesn't look at him, doesn't want to see if he's angry or worse. After what seems an interminable length of time, he glances at her sidelong, “Really?” She doesn’t see any trace of disgust on his face, just surprise. She takes this as a good sign, though her guard is still up.

She raises an eyebrow, “Yes really. Do you find something unpleasant about that?”

He holds up his hands, “I know what Father Fide says. But I also know that Father Fide is the reason Lord Hart has had to dismiss three scullery maids in the past three years,” he shrugs, “And I know you.” He says it so simply, as though there's nothing more he _needs_ to say on the subject.

Kim is hit with a wave of affection for him. He’s always had so much faith in the fact that she’s a good person who will be a great Lady someday. Even though she doesn’t always agree with him, she appreciates the sentiment, and his unwavering friendship. But they’re walking around the yard and it’s not as though she can do anything she wants, like cry or hug him, so she moves the conversation along.

“It’s not just Father Fide who thinks such things are wrong.”

“Perhaps, but I don’t think it’s so unnatural. I was always taught that love was a pure thing. No matter who it is between.”

She glances at him sidelong. There’s some hidden weight to his words, but when she examines his face, he’s just looking vigilant and steadfast, as he always does when he’s on duty, always scanning for possible threats. She puts that aside as well for now. “So what was that look for?”

“What look?”

“Jason…”

He gives her a rueful half smile and looks over at her, “If I say this, you must promise not to be angry with me.”

“You know there’s never a guarantee of that… especially if you say what I think you’re going to say.”

“You know I don’t… dislike her.”

“Ringing praise indeed…”

“It doesn’t matter how I feel about her, I am mainly concerned with that she cares about you, which is certainly the case, given the way she looks as though she’s about to tear out the throat of anyone who says a word against you. If she makes you happy, then that’s my only concern, as it has always been.”

“But…” she says, trailing off to let him fill in the blank.

He grimaces, “I don’t suppose you’ll let this drop, will you, my lady?”

“Don’t pull out the titles, Captain. You’re my friend. If you have concerns, I want to know them.”

“It’s not a concern, really. I just… don’t understand what you see in her. But then I never understood precisely why you were friends at all.”

“It’s because you don’t know her.”

Jason laughs, glancing over towards the corral outside the stables, where they can see Navarre supervising as Trini works with a horse her father bought recently, looking almost comically small next to the stallion. The animal had thrown one of Lord Hart’s guards the day before, and Trini was convinced it was because the horse trader who’d sold it to them hadn’t bothered to fully train it. She’s got a much more calm and open look on her face as she faces the horse down than she does with most people.

“That would be because she doesn’t allow me to. Or anyone else for that matter.”

Kimberly is tempted to mention Zack, just to be stubborn, but she understands the point Jason is making.

“Maybe if I spent time with her, I suppose, but it’s not as though there’s a large chance of that happening. Again, I am only truly interested in whether her intentions are good… and whether she takes care of you.”

“We take care of each other.”

He nods, “I imagine so.”

“And I love her.”

Another nod, “Then what else can I say except that I am happy for you,” he smiles broadly.

Again, she feels the urge to throw her arms around his neck. Instead she just smiles back and claps him on the shoulder briefly.

They walk on in amiable silence for a few more moments before Jason says, “Of course, this means I’ll be even _less_ interested in hearing details of what the two of you get up to after I deliver you to the castle gates.”

She laughs, “As though I would tell you anyway.”

**

Later, he escorts her back to her room so she can dress for dinner. They pause outside her door, “There is one thing. What does this mean for your father’s efforts to find you a husband?”

“I’m afraid they’ll likely be even less effective than before.”

They’re alone in the corridor, so he lowers his voice and steps closer, looking at her very seriously, “Kimberly, you can’t keep putting it off forever. Eventually your father…”

She frowns, “I’m well aware of that.”

“You can’t avoid it forever. One day that price must be paid.”

“I’m happy right now, Jason, truly happy,” she sounds almost desperate, “And I would… I’d just like to enjoy it for a while.”

He runs has hand through his hair and sighs, “I know," he bows formally, "Good night, my lady."

"Good night, Captain," she replies, and then retreats into her chambers.

As Jason takes up his position just outside the door, he resolves not to bring the matter up again. He knows how difficult life has been for Kimberly, especially since the pressure to marry truly began to mount. If she’d found something as rare as true love she deserved to enjoy it for as long as possible.

**

Zack asks Trini about it one day after they’ve finished punching one another in the face.

They beat each other up three or four times a week. Navarre tolerates it as long as they don’t neglect their duties and they don't injure one another so much they can't work. They're allowed some free time every day, to eat a midday meal. The other boys all go into the servants dining hall and eat their meals there, Trini and Zack go to the large open corral in the yard and square off.

It started around two years previously, when Trini was almost fifteen. Both of them have experience with defending themselves, but they've been safe and warm and well fed for a long enough time that Trini had worried they were losing their edge. Being constantly vigilant was all well and good, but if someone actually decided to jump her, she wanted to be absolutely sure she would be able to do something about it. It was also a fine way to work off anger and tension, something she’d needed to do more and more since Kimberly’s suitor parade had begun in earnest.

They'd enlisted Jason to help them at first. They weren't exactly friends, but he and Trini had Kimberly in common so there was a mutual respect there, so she knew wasn't going to mock them or refuse to help them outright. Zack knew that Trini respected Jason so he simply trusted her judgment.

Jason had been bemused by her request, but had agreed to do what he could when he had free time. He’d known that he wasn’t going to be able to turn either of them, and that they wouldn't want that anyway. They were both brawlers, scrappy and brutal and underhanded, using whatever they could to their advantage. He’d taken their strengths, and refined and channeled them as much as he could, giving tips and tightening up weaknesses that might get them killed. He’d also taught them how to use weapons properly.

Trini had never been terribly fond of swords (Zack always said it was because they were all taller than her, at which point, Trini always punched him hard in the gut), but she’d carried a knife or two on her person ever since she’d been orphaned. When she showed Jason her knife techniques, he’d shaken his head, "You're using it like a blunt instrument, a cudgel"

"It's served me well before."

"How long's it been since you had to fight someone?"

She’d glared at him, her jaw tight, "A while," she’d gritted out, defensive.

"Yes. And if you won you probably got lucky.”

The glare intensified. Jason had twitched slightly, as though he were trying to stop himself taking a step back. Trini had grinned at him wolfishly, "I think I may have been a little more than lucky."

"I'm not criticizing you, Gomez, I'm simply telling you there is room for you to improve your skills. You will always have the advantage of surprise, because men will always underestimate you, even more than they do someone like Kimberly. You're small and you're... not normally the type of person people notice.'

"You mean I'm an invisible peasant?"

"Just so," Jason had said, in a businesslike tone devoid of judgment, "So you use that. You need to lure them close, then strike quickly and brutally, while using your size to evade your enemy," he’d pulled a dagger from his belt and tossed it up and down once,"It's good you have experience with these because they're ideal weapons for such a style."

"Just so long as you don't ask me to be stealthy..."

"No, just underhanded."

She flashed the grin again, "That I can do."

He had assisted him once a week or so until he’d been promoted a month or so later, and had been assigned more duties. By that time, Trini and Zack had learned about as much as they could from him. These days, they still spar, but it's all for fun, and although they usually start by practicing tactics, by the end it devolves into a full on brawl, with the two of them rolling around in the dirt, punching one another in the ribs. In almost always ends with Zack in a headlock and Trini laughing madly as he tries to escape.

It's no different on this day, with Trini ducking under a punch and nailing Zack in the stomach with her fist before grabbing him around the middle and bringing him down with a move Jason showed them. Zack lays in the dirt for a long moment with Trini’s forearm braced on his neck, and finally says, “Well, now I’m hungry.”

Afterwards, they sit against the wall of the stables, sharing bread and hard cheese for their midday meal.

"Don't take this the wrong way,” Zack says lightly, “but you seem happier lately."

She looks over at him, eyebrow raised, expression flat.

"All right, perhaps not _happy_ … less glower-y then. I mean, you've hardly scowled all day, and you _almost_ smiled at Scott earlier when he wandered through on patrol.”

She scoffs, mutters "Fuck off," and takes a large bite of bread. As she chews she thinks that maybe she has felt a little lighter lately. This leads to thinking about the reason why, which leads to thinking about what she and Kimberly had been doing last night by the lake. It wasn't even just the kissing, although the kissing was pretty incredible, it was just being able to hold her and know that she was finally being fully open with her, that the part of herself she’d kept hidden for so long was finally out in the open.

She snaps back to reality when she feels Zack's eyes on her. She realizes suddenly, with some horror, that she as a dopey satisfied grin on her face... she scrambles to put her scowl back firmly in place, but it's too late. His eyes are bright and full of mirth and he's smiling as much as he can while still chewing a mouthful of cheese.

"What?" she growls, trying to will away the heat she can feel crawling up her neck and into her face. Zack was her friend, the only person outside of Kimberly who she shows any part of her true self. It's not that she doesn't want to discuss this with him, it’s that she doesn’t really even know where to begin or how to articulate what’s in her heart without being so nakedly emotional it’s going to make her incredibly uncomfortable. These are things she can barely even express to Kim, at least verbally.

But Zack, who pushes so hard with some things, still has the same sense of when to stop that he did all those years ago when he first asked her about Kimberly. He knows that if she wants to share details, she will eventually, so he just shrugs, and says, with uncharacteristic sincerity and a soft smile, "Nothing... just happy for you, crazy girl." He then gives her a brief, crushing hug. When he releases her, he’s wearing his normal carefree grin, and he begins going on about their work for the afternoon.

Trini half smiles, letting his voice wash over her, as grateful for his friendship as she is for Kimberly’s love.

+++

It's been nearly a year since she and Trini first kissed, and Kimberly wouldn't hesitate to call it the best year of her life. She's nearly four months past her seventeenth birthday now, and she is entirely certain that Trini will be the only person she will ever love with this kind of certainty and intensity.

She wonders sometimes whether it's too sudden, whether she can truly know such things after such a relatively short amount of time. But a part of her thinks she's loved Trini all her life, even before she really understood what that word meant, that her definition of love simply became what she felt for Trini. Trini’s been a part of her heart for so long, and is such an integral part of it, Kim knows she would feel as though it was missing something vital if Trini disappeared from her life.

Their love is the purest thing in her life, the only thing that makes her feel alive on particularly bad days, and most of the time, it seems to exist outside of her normal life. The days are filled with the business of being the daughter of a powerful Lord, the nights are when she can just be herself.

For nearly a year, the two sides of her life have been blissfully separate. The consequences of what they're doing, and the way it's made her neglect her duty to marry have been a distant thing, present but strangely unreal, as though viewed through a stained glass window.

Then one day her father calls her into his audience chamber, and shatters that illusion with a single sentence.

"You must choose a husband or I shall choose for you," his voice is stern and commanding. It's not a tone he uses with her often, but when he does she knows that there is little room for argument. It’s the tone that means his mind has been made up and he is simply relaying what is already set in stone (even though she can also hear reluctance and resignation underneath the authority).

Still, despite the inevitability, she can't stop herself beginning to argue back, "But, father..."

He puts up a hand, stopping her mid-sentence, "I love you, my darling, but it has been three years. Things are not as stable as they should be, there is unrest in the province, and the nobles are unhappy with some of my policies. I have enough allies to endure, but if I do not show them that our family's future is secure, it will be difficult to keep them satisfied."

Kimberly knows the truth of this, knows that her father is doing what he must, and that he probably doesn't want to. For a minute, she thinks about what it would be like to run away with Trini, to leave behind all the pressures and obligations of her life and just be a girl in love. It would be difficult, they'd have to work hard, but she thinks they could do it.

It's a beautiful dream, but even as the images fill her head, she knows it's impossible. She couldn't do that to her parents, or to the people her father protects. She knows that life is not perfect for the peasants, not even close (Trini's early years are ample evidence of that), but her father actually tries to make things better, and she wants to try to do the same, even if she's not sure she can live up to it, she cannot disappoint him.

So she nods, trying not to see Trini's face in her head as she says, "All right."

**

They choose Tyler Fleming, the same Tyler Fleming who was so awful to Jason just a few short years ago. Her father assures her that after a year with the guards, and two at home, learning from his father, he's much improved.

It's an advantageous match. He's very near her age, and Tyler's father is actually Lord Hart's cousin and would inherit the Hart lands if anything happened to Kimberly. Lord Fleming has always been one of her father's staunchest supporters, never undermining him, even though he would be the one to benefit from it most, his views always in line with Lord Hart's. Her father believes that this will make the line doubly secure.

Kimberly likes Lord Fleming well enough. He's always respectful and polite to her when he visits. He doesn't condescend to her or act as though she's incapable of becoming Lady. She thinks maybe if Tyler has been learning from him, his behavior may have improved. It's as good a match as she could've hoped for, certainly it's the one that makes her father happiest.

Her father intends for the wedding to take place just after her eighteenth birthday, only eight months from now, when she's come of age. The timing will be significant, a way to show that their family is strong and that Kimberly is fully prepared to do what she must to become what she is supposed to be.

The fact of it, of there being marriage contracts and dowries and wedding dates and a man she must call her betrothed, feels like a solid weight that's been placed on her chest, one which will only grow as each day passes and the date gets closer. Although she smiles at her father and embraces him as he smiles back the sense of dread that settles inside her chest is palpable.

**

Trini reacts about as well as can be expected. She had known this was inevitable from the moment she let Kimberly kiss her, that her happiness was fleeting, and she would eventually have to pay the price for ignoring the consequences. But knowing that the engagement was inescapable doesn't make it any more pleasant to hear about.

It hits her like an arrow straight through her heart, the sudden pain of it making her want to curl into a ball and cry or scream at the top of her lungs at the injustice of it all. Instead, she does what has always served her so well, the thing she always vowed she would never do with Kimberly: she collapses in on herself like a dying star and disguises the misery sweeping over her in waves with cynicism and biting words, "Well that was nice while it lasted."

"What?"

"I'm sure you'll be quite busy now, what with all the preparations."

"No more so than usual," Kim frowns, "Don't do this."

"Do what? Be the sensible one? We can't do _this_ when you're going to be married..."

"Can’t do what? Be in love? This doesn’t change how I feel about you. Nothing could.”

“And what good does that do either of us? We can _feel_ anything we wish, but feeling it means little if you’re _marrying_ someone else.”

Kimberly shakes her head, "I see what you're doing, but please don't. This doesn't have to change anything..."

A bitter laugh escapes Trini unbidden. Kim flinches at the sound, hurt flashing across her already miserable features, and Trini's heart twists a little at the sight before she forces herself to harden again, "This changes _everything_ ," she grits out, her voice as bitter as her laugh, "You're _promised_ to someone now, someone who isn't me… not that you could ever have been promised to me. In eight months, you will be sharing your bed with him. I don't really see where I fit into that portrait since I will be mucking out stables as I always have, like a good little peasant. And I refuse to be anyone’s second choice, even yours.”

"You've always been my only choice!" Kim snaps, anger now mixing with her grief, "You _know_ that! I have no choice in this betrothal.”

Trini shakes her head, taking a deep breath. She’s trying not to take her own anger at the situation and at herself out on Kimberly. She knows that this isn’t Kim’s fault, that she already feels awful. "I know you don't," she says, her voice more resigned now than bitter, “But I do..."  She can’t stay here. It was hard enough to watch Kimberly from afar before she knew what being with her was like, but now that she’s experienced it… seeing her married would be like dying a slow painful death every day. Leaving Lord Hart’s service would make her future uncertain, but it was better uncertain than constant misery.

Before she can say any of this, Kim says, “You are the only thing in my life that makes sense. That will never change." Her voice is raw with the truth of it. Trini feels her resolve breaking.

"Kimberly, this... if we stay together, I'm the one that will..." she trails off, realizing what she was about to say.

But Kim knows, "You won't get hurt. I would never allow it."

"You can't control everything... I know you think you can, but..."

Now it's Kimberly's turn to laugh bitterly, "I've never been in control of anything in my life. Any semblance of control was only an illusion. The only thing in my life that has ever truly been my own is you."

Trini looks at her, and as soon as she does, she knows that she could never leave as long as Kim wanted her to stay. She knows there was never really a decision to be made, not when one of the options is leaving Kim. She might survive, but it wouldn't be what she could call living. She sighs. "We really are quite a sad pair, aren't we?"

"At least we're sad together," Kim says, a laugh escaping her that's half sob. "Or we could be. Please, don't let this change us. I will do all I can to make sure it doesn't. I can do it without you, but I don't want to know what it would be like."

And once again, Trini allows herself to get caught up in those eyes, shining with unshed tears and pleading with Trini to do this, to give them a chance even in the face of this new insurmountable obstacle. She exhales a long breath and then nods, reluctantly. Kimberly crosses the short space between them and throws her arms around her, burying her face in Trini’s neck, collapsing into her, weak with relief. Trini holds her tight, burying her face in Kim’s soft brown hair and closing her eyes.

She thinks that their fates have been intertwined since the second they kissed, perhaps even before that. She would do anything for Kim, it seems, even break her own heart.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> let me know what you think if you're so inclined. the mysteriously increasing chapter count keeps going up but I think by next chapter I should know for sure how much is left (it's nice to have goals loll).
> 
> tumblr url below in the note that will not die.


	6. Part III - the past (chapter 4)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the plot thickens. shit gets real.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's ALIVE. Yeah this one's a monster. I mentioned 10k on my tumblr, and it's actually just short of 12 (and yet somehow covers even less time chronologically than the last chapter haha). There was just no good place to split it so... y'know happy weekend!
> 
> PS one character says some pretty nasty misogynist shit that made me feel icky to write so just a warning.

Part III - the past (chapter four)

+++

Things aren't exactly as they were before, the thought of Tyler Fleming and the betrothal and impending wedding looms in the background, solid and inescapable. It’s much harder to pretend everything will always be perfect when there is such a certain indication that they won’t be, but they do all they can to make their time together as meaningful as they can.

Tyler Fleming and his father travel to the castle from their lands the east a week after the engagement is announced. They’re to stay for two months, to finalize the dowry and marriage contract and so Tyler can familiarize himself with the way of things. He seems receptive to the idea that Kimberly will be the one who inherits her father’s authority when he dies, that she will dictate how the land is ruled.

(Trini finds this blatantly suspicious, but then she distrusts everything about the man. She knows how he treated Jason when they were in training, and she also saw how he acted when he was a guardsman at the castle for a year. He was brash, egotistical, arrogant, and she knows for a fact that he seduced at least one kitchen maid if not more. Kimberly knows it too, but Lord Hart insists he’s changed and he’s acting as though he has. Trini believes in second chances, but in her experience, men like Tyler don’t change. She doesn’t say much about it to Kim because he hasn’t _done_ anything recently that Trini can prove, and she doesn’t want to make this any harder on her than it already is.)

Kim tries to make the best of the situation, even if Tyler’s presence and her suddenly full schedule mean she can’t meet with Trini every night as she had been doing. Trini is busy as well. The Flemings have brought with them seemingly half their own servants and staff, including a retinue of at least fifty guardsmen, all of whom have their own horses that must be tended to.

And it isn’t just the wedding that weighs on their minds.

There have been strange things happening in the forests at the eastern edge of the Hart’s lands, close to Lord Fleming's holdings. That area has always been rumored to have magic about it (nonsense and superstition according to Kimberly's father), and villagers have been disappearing. Lord Fleming is dealing with unrest amongst the peasants (who are worried about the attacks), and with the attacks themselves.

Worse, the attacks seem to be spreading. Lord Hart starts to call councils more often. In addition to Lord Fleming, who his already at the castle with many of his advisors, others lords and minor bannermen and knights begin showing up to discuss what must be done.

About a month after the engagement is announced and Lord Fleming arrives, one of his chief advisors joins him. She is a woman he has been consulting about the problems in the East since they began. He says she has some expertise on their superstitions and customs, that she has spent her life studying these sorts of things. Lord Fleming introduces her as Madam de Repoussant. She is tall and beautiful, with long blonde hair and piercing green eyes, always dressed in a modest cloak and forever carrying a tall gold staff, a family heirloom she claims. She says little, only occasionally whispering to Lord Fleming, and gives no one any reason to believe she is anything other than what Lord Fleming claims she is.

Aside from the usual grumblings about allowing a woman to make any sort of decisions (none of which are voiced especially loudly in front of Kimberly or her father), she is accepted at the table. Kimberly was immediately suspicious of her, and tells Trini so at the first opportunity.

In addition to being less frequent, their meetings have been shorter lately because of the early mornings and late nights that all the councils and wedding plans have required of Kimberly. They try to avoid speaking of anything that might take away from their brief happiness, but they’re too used to discussing everything with one another. To completely stop talking about matters which concern them would feel like a lie.

This particular night is the first time they’ve met in three days, and they’d spent the first two hours not talking at all (Trini isn’t sure she’ll ever get used to the awe she feels when she watches Kimberly fall apart beneath her... or how she feels when Kim touches her, for that matter). Afterwards they lie tangled together on the large soft bearskin blanket Navarre gave to Trini when she became his apprentice, talking softly about everything and nothing.

Trini has been drifting off a bit, drowsy from their previous activities (which are energetic under any circumstance, but especially if it’s been awhile since they’ve seen one another), and Kimberly’s warmth at her side. It’s midsummer, and the night is warm and a little humid, which lends itself to the general feeling of languid contentment. Then Kim begins talking about the unrest in the East and her father’s council.

“That woman Lord Fleming keeps insisting that my father send more men to secure the borders because the Fleming’s resources are stretched thin. Something about her isn’t right. She seems so respectful… so obedient, always bowing and being quiet and standing in the background…”

“I can see how that might bother you,” says Trini, half smiling drowsily.

Kim chuckles, smacks Trini on her bare stomach in playful reproach, but quickly becomes serious again, “I don’t know exactly what game she’s playing, but there’s definitely more to her than she’s showing.”

“She’s a woman who has gained a position of power,” Trini is more alert now, no longer teasing. She knows that Kim is usually very good at reading people. “Hiding her motivations is probably what she does best.”

“Perhaps.”

“Until she does something blatant, all you can do is watch her.”

“I know,” Kim replies, brow still furrowed.

“It will be all right, Princess,” Trini says sensibly, “Your father is no fool and last I checked he was still the Lord. This woman is only an advisor, not even _his_ advisor. He won’t do anything that might bring harm to your house.”

“I know that as well,” Kim says, looking over at Trini and giving her a small smile. Trini smiles back and leans down to kiss her gently. The kiss turns heated quickly and Madam de Repoussant is forgotten. No matter what uncertainties may exist in the world at large, they can at least be entirely assured that they love one another.

**

The week Lord Fleming and his son are scheduled to leave, a summons comes from the king. He wants to see Lord Hart, to get a report on the unrest in his lands. They knew the king was aware of the problems there, but it wasn’t like him to get involved in regional unrest. Lord Hart could only think that it was very serious indeed.

The castle is organized chaos in the days after the message arrives as Lord Hart gets ready to leave. Kimberly is in his audience chamber with him as he’s gathering his papers and issuing last minute orders before he embarks on his weeklong journey to the capitol. “I’ll be gone a month,” he says, “Since Lord Fleming is already here and knows my mind on all matters, I shall have him act in my stead until I return. He can continue organizing the bannermen and deploying troops when it’s necessary. He has my full authority. Captain Oliver will also remain to ensure all matters of security.”

Kim nods. She still trusts Lord Fleming, even if Madam de Repoussant still makes her uncomfortable. For the most part the woman has remained as respectful and obedient as the day she arrived, but occasionally, Kimberly sees something flash in those green eyes, the briefest indication that there is more to her. But she knows this doesn’t _have_ to mean anything sinister. Kim has more than a few secrets, but her secrets don’t change her loyalties, so perhaps the other woman is the same.

“Your mother will be travelling with me,” Lord Hart says, “She hasn’t seen the capitol since our marriage, and with all the trouble in the land, I don’t know if she will have another chance anytime soon,” he puts his steady hands on her shoulders and smiles at her, “I have told Lord Fleming that he is to continue to include you in council sessions. I know you will acquit yourself well and uphold our family name proudly.”

His voice softens as he continues, “I know that this betrothal is not ideal, but you have handled it with all the grace that I would expect from my daughter and heir,” he smiles at her fondly, “It seems only yesterday you were a little girl running about playing at being a fine lady, and now you are on the brink of truly becoming one. I could not be prouder of you, Kimberly. You have grown into the beautiful and capable heir I always knew you would be. In three months, you will be of age, and although I intend to be around for quite some time, I have complete faith in the fact that you will one day be a great lady of this house.”

Kim finds herself tearing up as he speaks. She feels herself standing a little taller by the time he finishes and has to take a moment to compose her thoughts. Both her parents have always loved her, she knows that without doubt, and she knows now in a way she didn’t when she was a child how rare and wonderful a thing that is. She knows how proud he is of her, and how much faith he has in her abilities (more than she has herself most days), but to have him say so outright is overwhelming.

After a long moment she says, her voice wavering only slightly, “I hope I never make you regret that faith, father.”

“I don’t imagine you ever will. I love you, my darling,” he says, and hugs her tightly, “Trust in Lord Fleming while we’re gone.”

She nods, “I will.”

He pulls back and squeezes her shoulders tightly, “Now I need to finish preparations. We’ll be leaving at sunrise. We’ll see you then?”

“Yes, of course,” she says. And then, with one last fond smile, he’s back to directing the men who are putting his papers together.

Kim takes a last deep breath before turning and leaving the room. His faith in her, like Trini’s unwavering love, has always been a constant force in her life. It’s what keeps her going when she thinks she might be totally overwhelmed by her obligations. One day she knows (hopes) she’ll be as good as he is at handling things, but for now, she’s still just a seventeen year old girl learning how to do all of it. Knowing that he’ll be around to help for years to come is a comfort that she hopes she won’t have to do without for a long while to come.

**

Jason is standing guard outside the door to Kimberly’s chambers a week after Lord and Lady Hart have left for the capitol when Lord Fleming and Captain Oliver come striding down the hall with two or three attendants in tow. It’s perhaps an hour before sunrise, and he had only delivered her back from her assignation with Trini about an hour ago.

He draws himself up as they approach. All of them look disheveled, although that’s not necessarily unusual. He knows that their meetings have been running well past midnight. The situation in the east is worsening by the day, the attacks growing more and more frequent, and the activity around the castle is near constant now, especially with Lord Hart gone. It feels like they’re preparing for a war. They look exhausted, their faces are drawn and pale, their mouths grim lines as they stop in front of him. Jason bows to them.

“Captain Scott,” says Lord Fleming, “We must see Lady Hart.”

Jason nods and turns immediately to knock on the door. He does it twice before he hears her speak, “Enter.”

He opens the door for them and follows them in. She’s standing by her bed in her dressing gown, somehow managing to maintain a regal posture even though her face betrays the fact she’s still two thirds asleep. By instinct Jason moves to take up position behind her right shoulder. The men bow to her, and Jason can see her posture stiffen, as though she’s bracing for a blow. People rarely show up unannounced at this time of night to deliver good news.

“My lady,” says Lord Fleming, “I am sorry to wake you at such an hour but this could not wait until morning,” he clears his throat, twice but his voice is still thick with emotion when he speaks again, “I regret to inform you that… your parents have been…” he pauses briefly, trying valiantly to keep his composure, but his voice wavers when he continues, “they’ve been killed. Murdered by foul creatures and bandits as they passed near the border with my lands…” He can say no more, his jaw clenching tightly. Jason knows that Fleming has known Lord Hart since they were children and it must be taking a tremendous effort not to break down in front of them now.

Kimberly just stares, her entire body still rigid, frozen by shock. When she speaks, her voice is barely a whisper, but it doesn’t waver, “There must be… some mistake, Lord Fleming.’

Lord Fleming looks away. Captain Oliver takes up the narrative, his voice grave and steadier than the other man’s, but no less laden with emotion, “I’m sorry, my lady, but there is no mistaking this.” Jason knows immediately that this means the bodies must have been returned to the castle. The Captain would never have taken a messenger’s word for something like this.

There’s a long moment of almost complete silence as they wait for Kim to react to the news. It gives Jason an opportunity to absorb the news. Lord Hart had always been kind to him, but Captain Oliver is his direct superior. Jason barely interacted with the man except when Kim did. He is sad that the man is dead, but he finds that most of what his primary emotion is concern for Kimberly.

Jason has just processed this thought when, almost without warning, Kimberly’s face crumbles, and an anguished sound, somewhere between a sob and a scream, tears itself from her throat, so full of despair that it hurts him physically to hear it. Her legs go out from under her, and Jason instinctively rushes forward to catch her. She grabs onto him, clutching at him as though he is the only thing anchoring her to reality, burying her face in his tunic as he carefully lowers them both to the ground. By the time they’ve slumped on to the floor, she’s been shaken by great racking sobs that seem composed of pure grief.

For a second, no one seems to know what to do or say. Finally, Captain Oliver turns to one of their attendants, and tells him to fetch a lady in waiting. Jason understands why. Kim is clinging to him, practically curled into his lap, and it is entirely inappropriate. In a moment, her chief lady, Amanda, appears. It takes some doing, because she’s not thinking about appearances and only wants the person who is most familiar to her, but they extricate her from his grasp and she clings to Amanda instead, blindly searching for some sort of human contact.

Jason stands, his heart aching for her painfully. Lord Fleming sighs, not even trying to hide the tears shining in his own eyes, “We should leave her to recover for now. Theodore… Lord Hart would want her included in all things, and I will respect his wishes but… she needs time before she can join us again.”

Captain Oliver nods. He glances at Jason, “I’ll assign more men to you, Captain Scott. She’s the Lady of this house now…”

Jason bows his head in acknowledgment and follows the other two men out of the room even though he wants nothing more than to comfort his friend. He takes one last look at Kim before he shuts the door. Amanda is holding her as she sits on the bed, looking just a bit out of her depth, and Jason thinks that there is only one person Kim might receive any real comfort from at a time such as this.

**

Trini wakes to Jason shaking her urgently. She frowns up at him. The sun is just rising, she can see the weak light coming in through the windows of her small room. It’s Sunday, the one day she doesn’t have to get up before dawn, and she’d taken advantage of it by spending extra time with Kimberly the night before, so she’s none too pleased about being roused so early.

She’s about to snap at him when she sees the look on his face. He starts speaking before she can ask, “Lord and Lady Hart are dead, attacked two days ago near Lord Fleming’s borders. Lord Fleming has been named regent, but Kimberly is officially Lady Hart now. I don’t know when you will be able to see her again, I simply… I felt you should know in person. I will do my best to keep you appraised of what is happening.”

Her mind is trying to wake up fully, and his words take a moment to register, “Her parents are dead? _Madre de Dios_ … is she all right?”

He gives her a look, and she realizes the question is foolish, although he still answers, “She’s trying to be, I think.”

Trini wants nothing more than to go and comfort Kimberly, but she knows that she can’t and she once again curses the world for making all of this so unfair. Jason sees what she’s thinking, “Gomez…”

“I know!” she snaps at him, “I won’t do anything stupid. Just… keep an eye on her.”

He nods, puts a hand on her shoulder briefly, “I always do. I have to get back.”  Before she can properly respond, he’s gone. She sits in her cot, staring at the wall, thinking darkly of all the things she wants to do but can’t. She still hasn’t moved by the time Navarre comes to give her the news officially.

**

Now that she’s Lady Hart, Kimberly is surrounded all day by people who want her to do things: representatives of the king, bannermen, minor lords and knights. Her entire day is occupied from dawn until dusk and she’s constantly under guard. No one wants what happened to her parents to happen to her. For two weeks after her parents’ deaths are announced, Trini can't get near her. She wants nothing more than to hold her, and Kimberly wants nothing more than to be held, but it’s impossible and the frustration grows as the days pass.

For a fortnight, Trini sees her only in fleeting glimpses, except at the funeral, which everyone in the castle attends. She watches as Kimberly enters the cathedral. Her head is held high, but her expression is taut and her eyes are rimmed with red. She's dressed all in black, her hair pulled back severely and Trini can see she's barely holding it together, even if no one else can. She wants to go to her so badly it hurts, and if Zack’s hand wasn’t firmly on her arm, she might have tried it.

Kimberly is three months away from her eighteenth birthday, then she’ll marry Tyler Fleming and officially be of age. Lord Fleming is acting as her regent, and she finds she isn’t upset by having someone else take on the duties she’s trained so long for. She can’t find it in herself to be much of anything right now. Her grief is fresh and raw. Half the time she feels so much pain it’s like every nerve in her body is exposed. The other half she feels numb to everything around her, proceeding through her days as though she’s in a haze.

Lord Fleming tries his best to include her in things. She signs papers, attends meetings, listens to what he says, but they  can all see that she’s not entirely present. Attempts to draw her out or get her to engage are unsuccessful and are no more effective as time passes. Lord Fleming thinks that they just need to give her time. He resists efforts on the part of some of the other advisors to exclude her from things, hoping that she’ll get better with time. It has only been two weeks after all.

But Jason knows that the real problem is that she’s not seeing Trini. He knows Kimberly is an exceptionally strong person, that she would eventually be able to make it through this on her own, but Trini’s presence would aid her recovery immensely. His duties have increased as well, now that he has twice as many men at his command, but he manages to find time to update Trini on how Kim is.

Trini only sees Kimberly from afar, but then she can see that Kim isn’t doing well. Like Jason, she knows that Kim would eventually see it through on her own, but she also thinks she shouldn’t have to. Trini should be there for her, to help her through, give her support that no one else can because they don’t know her the way she does. With every passing day, the desire to see Kim becomes greater and greater.

She tries to keep it from showing, but by halfway through the second week, her foul mood is beginning to leak into everything she does, causing her to snap at things she’d normally take in stride. She has no outlet for her frustrations except her fights with Zack, which begin to occur daily.

One day she punches him so hard while they're sparring that she almost breaks his nose. She curses profusely in Spanish and then apologizes just as fervently, angry at herself for letting her emotions get the better of her. She leads him over to their usual spot by the stables, and then fetches him a wet cloth. He puts it over his nose and glances at her sidelong.

"I won't bother asking why you're so angry," Zack's eyes flit up towards the castle. His voice is nasally and half strangled, which makes her feel even worse.

Trini runs a hand through her hair and shakes her head hard. Normally she would hate talking about this, but she's barely been sleeping and everything is so close to the surface right now... "She's hurting, Zack. You've seen her. She... she's keeping it together, but she's not herself. She needs me."

"There's got to be a way you can see her."

"Cap told me they have to post four guys on her at all times now. Not exactly going to be able to sneak out at night is she?"

Zack looks at her as seriously as he can with a cloth stuck to his nose and blood still trickling down his chin, his eyebrows raised, "Just because that's always how you've seen her before, doesn't mean that's how you have to do it now. Things have changed. Means you have to change too. At least you do if you want to be there for your girl."

"Did you miss the part where she's surrounded by guards at all times?"

"Far as I know guards aren't allowed to hover over a lady while she sleeps."

She frowns, eyebrows knitting incredulously, "Her chambers are halfway up that damn tower, Zack. Last I checked I didn't have fucking wings."

"No. But you know someone who has access to her all the time..."

"How the hell is Cap supposed to help us here?  Unless he's got magical powers..."

Zack gestures to the coils of rope piled up outside the entrance to the stables, "Who needs magic when you've got a sturdy rope?"

"And you call _me_ crazy."

"You are crazy. But that's not the point. You want to see her, right? You know she needs you, and I'm pretty sure you need her just as much. She can't come to you. You can't go to her in the normal way..."

"I'm not a damn spider."

"Sturdy boots and strong arms are all you need," he shrugs, "It's only fifty feet..."

At that point, Navarre walks over and begins growling at them for having let their scrapping get out of hand. Trini gives him just enough attention to be mildly respectful while her mind drifts back over what Zack had just told her. It's insane, of course, the height of foolishness. A fall from fifty feet could kill her just as well as a fall from a thousand. But... Kimberly's window faced away from the main part of the castle, towards the walls. If she timed it right, if the broad shouldered golden boy could be convinced to secure the rope...

By the time Navarre has finished lecturing them and snaps at them to get on with their work, she's weighed the risks against the benefits and decided that seeing Kimberly is worth possibly breaking her neck.

When she speaks to Jason, he thinks she's out of her mind, but he can't deny that seeing her would help Kimberly immensely. "She's hardening herself," Jason says, shaking his head, "I do what I can to keep her present, but she's begun walling off parts of herself in order to make sure she can do what needs to be done." He runs a hand across his face, "I think I can do what you ask. It may take me a night or two. All I can do is ensure that the rope is where it needs to be. The rest is on your head."

Trini nods, happy simply to have something to latch on to.  It takes Jason less time to secure the rope than they thought. He tells her that Kimberly will be alone in her chambers by midnight.

That night, she slips out of her chambers for the first time in nearly two weeks. Her years of sneaking about serve her well as she avoids the patrols (they've increased as well, and with many of Lord Hart's guards gone, Lord Fleming's green and gold liveried men are also around and about), and slips around the rounded section of the tower. The rope, she sees, is hanging just where it should be.

She takes a deep breath to steady gloved hands that are shaking with anticipation, and then she grabs the rope and climbs up the tower like a hero from a fairy tale. It's not far, but it takes time (the tower wasn't necessarily built for climbing, and it precious minutes for her boots to find purchase on the rough stone exterior).

When she finally heaves herself into Kimberly's chambers through the open window, she's breathing hard, sweating profusely, and her hands are aching from the tight grip she'd had on the rope, but she could care less about any of it because Kim is there, clad in her nightclothes, falling to her knees beside Trini and pulling her into her arms.

Kimberly’s voice is breathless, rough with all the emotion of the last two weeks, and Trini isn’t sure she’s ever heard something so beautiful, "It's you..." Kim sighs, "It's you... God I've missed you so much. I've _needed_ you so much." She clings to Trini so tightly that it's almost painful, but Trini doesn't care.

She hugs her back just as hard, burying her face in Kim's neck and breathing her in. She hadn’t known it was possible to feel such relief, "I missed you too, _amor_ , I wish I could have..."

Kim pulls away and looks at her. She's still as beautiful as ever, but her eyes are puffy and red-rimmed, shining with unshed tears, and she looks as though she's aged years in the last two weeks. "Don't even say it. I don't want to talk about what we regret, I only want to make the most of the time we have now."

Trini nods. She knows Kim is right, and besides she's here for _her_ , to do what she needs and support her. Kim leans forward and kisses her fiercely before standing up and offering Trini her hand. She leads her to the bed, and they lay down facing one another after Trini has shed her boots and gloves.

That first night, all they do is talk, and kiss and hold one another. By the time Trini slips back out the window, Kimberly feels infinitely better just for having spoken to her, and Trini feels as though a part of her soul that was out of alignment has been slipped back into place.

**

After that, Trini visits almost every night. With Trini a regular part of her life again, Kimberly begins to come back to herself, improving with every passing day. Her grief is still a constant companion, and sometimes it overwhelms her when she least expects it, but now at least she has something to look forward to again after long days filled with the business of dealing with her duties, which mostly seem to involve preparations for a campaign into the Eastern Hills to attempt to rid themselves of the threats there. Her nights are spent in Trini's arms trying to forget everything that's going on around her.

Lord Fleming moves even more of his advisors, guards and staff into the castle and his son becomes Kimberly's constant companion, insisting on accompanying her everywhere (“We must used to being together all the time, dearest, as we’re to be married.”). Somehow he believes it is his presence that has brought her back to herself gradually. Kimberly can do nothing but smile and nod and go along with his delusion.

After Kimberly begins to recover, she takes a more active hand in councils and meetings, but there are many things to balance and keep straight. She had expected to have years at her father's side to learn the nuances of her duties, and though she is smart and capable, being suddenly thrust into this position is often overwhelming and she is grateful for Lord Fleming's counsel.

Trini remains suspicious of everything. Lord Hart's death bothers her. The Repoussant woman and her growing influence over Lord Fleming bother her (she has, at some point, become his chief and most trusted advisor and never seems to leave his side), especially now that Fleming is the Kim’s regent. The new men around the castle bother her. Fleming men keep coming into the castle, and the old servants and guards continue to be quietly dismissed or deployed to the borders. The stables aren't seen as influential enough to require a complete reorganization, but the new Fleming men are much more demanding and rude than the Hart ones were.

They are openly contemptuous of Trini, who has long since become one of Navarre's most trusted apprentices, and does most of the training for new horses. They make derisive comments about her and question everything she does even if she's correct. Trini had gotten used to Lord Hart's people respecting her ability to do the job even if they didn't like that she was doing it. It's maddening to have to start from scratch with the Fleming men. There’s no proof that any of this is sinister, that any of these people mean any real harm to Kimberly.

They talk about it (Kim trusts Lord Fleming, but is wary of Madam de Repoussant, whose given name she has discovered is Rita), and Trini agrees with Kim’s assessment and tells Kim she trusts her judgment but she leaves it at that, not bringing up some of the darker thoughts that nag her. It’s not a lie exactly, she _does_ trust Kim, implicitly, but she hates to worry Kimberly when she’s got so many other things on her mind.

She tries to assuage her guilt over not being fully open with Kim by bringing her concerns up to Jason one night when he comes to let her know it's safe to see Kimberly. She wants to make sure that he’s aware of her concerns. She expects him to dismiss her outright. She and Jason don't interact that much, and Kimberly is all they truly have in common. She recognizes that he's a good guy and would never hurt Kimberly, but he's too much the steadfast loyal soldier for her, just as she's too closed off and inexplicably angry for him.

What she’s not expecting, is for him to nod and say, "I think you may be right."

It’s nice to be validated, but it doesn't necessarily fill her with joy. Jason is much closer to what's going on in the castle than Trini is, and if he suspects something then maybe it’s more than just Trini’s natural paranoia and mistrust.

He adds, "They’ve replaced so many of our guard units with Fleming men that I feel as though I’m a visitor in my own castle."

Trini frowns as another of her fears is confirmed, "What are they up to?"

"I don't know. The obvious answer would be that they want her lands, but it seems pointless to scheme and plot when Lord Fleming's son is just going to marry her." Trini's jaw tightens at that and he tilts his head in apology before continuing, "Once that happens, Lord Fleming will have influence if he wants it."

"Not as much as he might think. You know Kimberly."

He smiles slightly, "Indeed, and I know she’s wary as well. She's been very careful to keep Captain Oliver involved with the decisions. She's not letting them send him away."

Trini agrees with that. Kimberly may be upset, but she's always been perceptive. Even if she's not as suspicious as she and Jason, she's probably at least keeping an eye out. She grimaces in frustration, “Not much we can do about it either way.”

"No, certainly not without real proof. We can only remain vigilant and hope that our fears are unfounded."

Trini nods. She knows that Jason is right, and she can only hope that things really aren't what they believe them to be.

+++

Another month passes and more tension builds. With Kimberly back to herself, fewer Hart men are moved out of the castle, but as far as Trini is concerned, there are already too many Fleming men. At least half the guards roaming the castle are in the green and gold Fleming livery, and while they’re all courteous and respectful and friendly, their mere presence is suspicious to her. Perhaps she’s too mistrustful, but being too cautious in such matters has rarely proven a mistake.

The whole thing is putting her more on edge than usual. Seeing Kimberly again helps some, but the days are still long and trying, filled with Fleming men who think she’s a moron who doesn’t know her job. On the particular day that everything starts to fall apart, Trini is in a particularly dark mood, her most dire scowl firmly in place after spending the entire morning dealing with a party of half-drunk Fleming knights who going hunting.

Her glare only intensifies when she sees Kim and Tyler Fleming walking out of the castle and down towards the stables. Kimberly is wearing the mask she always does during the day, smiling and laughing and clinging to Fleming’s arm as though this is where she wants to be. She looks beautiful in her pink silk gown with her hair done up elaborately, but her smile doesn’t reach her eyes, at least not until she sees Trini and gives her brief, genuine grin before turning back to Tyler with his perfect light brown hair and flashing blue eyes.

He still hasn’t done anything overtly awful yet, but the fact that he gets to be with Kim all day, that everyone thinks him the perfect match for her, and comments on how wonderful they look together, always so dashing and handsome makes her hate him. It doesn’t matter that he hasn’t given her any real reason to, or that she knows Kimberly has no interest in him.

Navarre sees her glaring daggers at the smiling lordling and smacks her on the back of the head, "Enough of that, girl. Whether you like him or not, he's going to be around for awhile. Besides, the pompous ass brought his own grooms with him so you can just skulk about and avoid him. Just stop glaring at everything, you’re scaring the horses." This wasn’t true. The horses all love her, but she understands his point.

So she does as she's told, going about her duties and trying to dispel the dark cloud hovering over her head with minimal success. Fleming and Kimberly go on a ride through the countryside with Kim’s guards in tow. When they return, she helps the guards dismount and supervises the grooms who are taking care of their horses. She wants to help Kim down as well, but Tyler insists on sliding off his saddle in a pointlessly flashy way and helping her down himself.

Trini is standing nearer to them than any of Fleming’s grooms (who are probably lounging around in the servant’s quarters being assholes, as usual), so she goes to grab his horse’s reins. He glares at her like she’s trash and practically slaps her hand as he takes the reins himself. Then he turns to Kimberly, a charming smile on his face, “I’m going to take care of my horse, my darling, I’ll see you momentarily?”

“I’m sure that my people can take care of that, my lord,” Kimberly says, her gaze sliding over Trini and taking in her general state of discontent, “They’re perfectly qualified, and your grooms aren’t about.”

He nods, his smile still in place, but when he speaks, Trini thinks she can hear a hint of annoyance at Kimberly expressing an opinion, “Indeed, they aren’t, which they’ll hear about from me. And I’ve no doubt at the skills of your… people…” here he turns that contemptuous gaze on Trini again, “… but I’d prefer to take care of my own mount.”

Kim nods, conceding the point, and smiles at him, “Very well. I’ll see you then.”

Fleming bows to her courteously, and Trini and the other Hart servants do the same. Kim walks with her guards back up towards the castle. Fleming grabs his large black stallion’s reins and drags him towards the tack room, ignoring Trini entirely.

She realizes with some irritation that she’ll have to follow him in order to take care of Kimberly’s horse (who is rather incongruously called Tiger, for reasons only Kim and Trini are privy to). She leads the horse back towards the tack room and takes a position as far as she can get from Tyler as possible before she starts the process of stripping the horse’s tack off.

Fleming ignores her, and Trini falls into her normal routine, blocking everything else around her out as she works, losing track of time. She’s just finished brushing Kim’s horse down when she hears Tyler speaking to one of his grooms, who’s finally decided to show up.

Tyler is blathering on about breeding. “Sometimes,” he says to the groom, “You can have perfectly good stock and the creature that’s produced is not what you expect. That’s when you have to really break them, show them who’s in charge, you know.”

The groom nods, “Not unlike a wife, eh, my lord?”

Trini isn’t sure what she’s expecting. She dislikes Tyler, but she thinks he’s a well-bred enough gentleman that he’ll defend his betrothed. Instead he says, “A perfect analogy, Moresby! Women start with the natural detriments of feeble minds, weak bodies, and volatile temperaments. Until they find a man to control them and help them attempt to control these unfortunate problems inherent in their sex, most are quite insufferable, especially when they’re not raised properly.”

He’s warming to his subject now, expounding in ringing tones as the groom brushes his horse down, like he’s educating the lad, “Take my betrothed for instance. Her foreign blood puts her at an even greater disadvantage, and the fact that her father sought out a foreign wife in the first place should tell you all you need to know about him. For now I can be indulgent, allowing her whims and fancies, but once she is my wife, of course I shall have to take steps to temper her more foolish indulgences…”

He drones on for a while about the husband’s responsibility, then turns to the subject of Kimberly’s shoddy upbringing, and how her spirted nature must be broken. By the time he gets to how training a wife is like training a particularly stubborn dog, Trini’s blood feels like it’s roaring in her ears, and her eyes are narrowed, rage radiating from her and landing on him so forcefully she’s surprised his skin isn’t smoldering.

She’s trying to come up with a reason why she shouldn’t walk up and punch him and she can’t think of a single one, especially when he uses the word “bitch” to compare the woman he’s about to marry to his favorite hound. She takes three steps towards the man when she feels a hand curl around her wrist. She turns so fast she throws the other person off balance and gets ready to tear into them when she sees it’s Zack. She’d been so focused on Fleming and his bullshit that she hadn’t even noticed Zack come in.

He takes her elbow again and leans in, keeping his voice low as he speaks, "No, T. I know what you're thinking, but no."

“Zack I swear to God if you don’t let me go…”

"If you punch him, the _best_ that will happen is you’ll be dismissed.”

"You heard what he said!"

"I did. And yeah, he’s awful, and deserves to lose a few teeth, but you doing it will only mean you’ll never see her again. That what you want?”

Trini breathes in and out slowly and deeply. Once, twice… by the third time she feels her calm returning. She still wants to hurt Tyler Fleming (badly), but the raging fire has been banked down to her usual simmering flame. The desire to do something rash drowned out by Zack’s words. She nods once, curtly.

Tyler is still running on. He hasn’t even noticed them. They’re only servants after all. She makes a concerted effort to block him out as she takes the lead rope she’s draped over Tiger’s neck in her hand and looks to Zack, “I’ve got to take her back to her stall,” she mutters.

Zack nods, “Probably a good idea. Ol’ Tiger gets cranky if she’s not fed after a good ride…” he waggles his eyebrows at her with a grin.

She laughs sharply, thankful again for Zack seeming always to know what she needs to hear, and leads the horse towards the exit. He walks alongside her, starting into a series of increasingly filthy jokes about the care and feeding of small, fierce creatures of all sorts. It’s almost enough to push Tyler out of her mind and drown out his words.

It’s better to let Kimberly deal with it. She lets a devilish grin appear on her face as she imagines what Kim will do to him when Trini tells her what the asshole said. They’re just passing by the still rambling Tyler, when his horse suddenly kicks out with one of his huge back hooves, catching Tiger in the flank. Luckily they’re far enough away that it’s just a glancing blow,  but Tiger dances back and snorts unhappily whinnying in displeasure.

Tyler deigns to look at them, one haughty eyebrow raised, a sneer curling his lips, “Keep control of your animal!” he barks at them, annoyance heavy in his voice. He notices that it’s her and his sneer turns into an outright snarl, “It surprises me little that an creature _you_ trained is so ill mannered…”

Zack stiffens next to her, and she hears him mutter of Chinese curse words under his breath. Trini squares up with Tyler, who’s at least half a foot taller than her, and hands Tiger over to Zack, who in turn moves the out of the building and hands her lead over to the nearest groom before running to fetch Navarre.

Trini crosses her arms over her chest and tilts her chin up, somehow managing to seem twice as large as she actually is. Fleming’s groom feels the force of her anger and takes a half step back, pulling Fleming’s horse with him. Tyler isn’t smart enough to understand. Trini could stand people insulting her, and she was even willing to forgo breaking his nose for what he said about Kim, but now he was impugning her ability _to do her job._

Her voice is cool and calm and assertive, as it always is when she’s this angry. Zack calls it her calm before the storm voice. “That horse is trained perfectly. In six years she’s barely even strayed off the line Lady Hart put her on. _Your_ little bastard on the other hand,” she jerks her chin at the charger, which is staring at her as arrogantly as its master, “Has been here for three weeks and has already tried to bite or kick half the grooms and stable boys here.”

“Obviously your master doesn’t train you any better than you train his horses,” spat Tyler.

“My master has been training horses for longer than either of us has been alive, _sir_. It’s not our fault your animal is as ill-tempered and arrogant as you are.”  Okay. So maybe that last part wasn’t _entirely_  necessary….

Tyler’s face is beet red now, his teeth gritted and his nostrils flaring as he stares at her, speechless, as though she’s short circuited his brain by talking back. Just then, Zack returns with Navarre in tow. When Trini looks to them, she sees that a small crowd has gathered, either to watch Tyler get taken down a notch (his piece of shit horse really has been trying to kill all of them) or to watch Trini get hers.

The approach of Trini’s master stirs Tyler to action.  "Stablemaster!"

Navarre limps closer and gives a half assed bow, "Yes, sir?"

Fleming gestures imperiously at Trini, "This _girl_ has been disrespectful to me."

"It's not disrespectful to point out that your horse is ill mannered, _sir,”_ her tone changes to one of exaggerated formality, like Navarre when he lectures, “One of my duties is to keep Lady Hart’s horses safe, and that means recognizing when your animal is dangerous and doing what I can to help you curb such behavior.”

"My animal is mine to do with as I please, just as you are."

Her composure falls almost instantly at his presumption, "Funny, you don't look like Lady Hart..." she growls. Navarre puts a weathered hand on her shoulder and squeezes hard, an order to stand down.

"Lady Hart is to be my wife. I am to be the Lord of these lands..."

"These lands are Lady Hart’s by right and _she_ is the one who will rule them. You will be her consort, but not the lord. _Sir_."

"A wife's duty is to serve her husband,” Tyler’s eyes narrow, “The Lady will do as she's told, including dismissing entirely unqualified servants who do not have a proper concept of their _place_.”

Trini's temper flashes, and Navarre’s hand on her shoulder is the only thing that prevents her from surging forward, “I know my place perfectly, sir!” her mouth is operating outside the control of her brain now, she hates losing control like this, but this man represents so many things hates about her life and the _world_ , she can’t stop herself, “And one day you’ll learn yours too, the man whose wife cuts him down to size…”

Something seems to snap in Tyler then. She’s look into his eyes when it does, and she sees hatred and anger and rage and insecurity and arrogance and a dozen other dark and awful things flash through them. His face twists into a sneering snarl that turns his handsome features as ugly as anything she’s ever seen and he closes the distance between them in the blink of an eye.

His hand comes around and he slaps her across the face, the sound as loud and resonant as a whip crack. Time seems to grind to a halt. It's not a gentle hit, and Trini is a foot shorter than him, even if she is sturdily built. She sees the blow coming, so she manages to mitigate the full impact by turning her head, rolling with it a bit and leaning into Navarre. She still staggers hard, but Navarre manages to keep her on her feet. Once she’s upright, the old man steps in front of her, heading off the inevitable retaliation and Zack takes his place, restraining Trini gently with a hand on her arm.

She feels like she’s been hit with a wooden plank. Her head is ringing, there are stars bursting across her vision, her left cheek is stinging viciously, and there's coppery blood filling her mouth. She leans around Navarre in order to spit it in the general direction of Tyler's feet, swipes her hand across her mouth and gives him an almost feral grin, her eyes flashing. "You slap like a little girl, _hijo de las mils putas_.”

He steps forward again, eyes still burning with that almost unnatural rage, lip curling, “I’m going to beat you until you fully understand your true place in the world, and when I’m done that smart mouth of yours won’t be useful for anything except sucking on…”  

Before he can continue, he is stopped by a hand on his arm. He turns, already snarling a curse, but it dies on his lips when he sees Kimberly. He tries to change his face back into the blandly inoffensive, incredibly handsome mask he’s been wearing for months, but he can’t throw the switch that fast. His expression ends up trapped halfway through the hateful snarl he’d just been wearing and the gentle smile he was trying to put on. His disheveled hair and the sweat on his brow are just as unflattering. He lowers his hand and sputters a bit before he manages to say, "My lady, what...?"

Trini is still leaning on Zack one hand rubbing her cheek, Navarre still in front of her. She’d been too focused on Tyler to see Kimberly, who had appeared in the yard with Jason and her guards in tow. She’s not exactly sure what caused Kimberly to come back, or what she plans to do. She half suspects that Kim is going to put on her diplomat’s face and try to smooth things over. So she’s as surprised as anyone when it happens.

Before anyone can even properly react to her presence, Kimberly’s right fist connects with the side of Tyler’s face with a crunch and he goes down hard. His guards stare down at him stunned, then reach for their swords on instinct, but Jason and Kimberly’s other guards already have theirs drawn. Tyler is groaning on the ground, his hands over his mouth, blood escaping down his chin, "You _knocked out **my tooth** **you bitch**_!"

“And you laid hands on someone under my protection,” Kimberly says, her voice imperious and commanding, “That is not your right and it never will be,” she glares at him for a long moment, her eyes burning with barely contained rage, before she says, “I think it's safe to say our engagement is over."

**

Things move quickly after that. The other guards escort Kimberly away. Jason turns to Trini and says, “You. Come with us. Lady Hart will want to question you about what has happened here,” then he grabs her by the arm and hurries her away. Tyler stays where he is, his own guards trying to help him up as he sputters and rages incoherently at the evident injustice of not being able to beat someone half to death on a whim.

Kim is still buzzing with adrenaline and anger. Her hands are shaking as she walks into the castle and up to her father’s audience chamber, which Lord Fleming (explaining this to him should be wonderful) has ceded to her. She drops back against the desk heavily, trying to calm herself down and put her thoughts in some semblance of order.

Part of her knows that this could be trouble, that it might cause infinite problems for her. The other part would do at again a million times. When she’d seen Tyler hit Trini her brain had stopped functioning properly. Jason delivers Trini and then leaves them alone, shutting the door quietly. Trini stays where Jason left her, just inside the door. The left side of her face is swelling now, and there’s a smear of blood on her cheek. She’s looking at Kim with a mixture of fierce pride and concern.

When it becomes clear Trini isn’t going to come to her, Kim walks over to her. She raises her hand and gently touches the side of her face. Trini winces just slightly, but still leans into Kim’s touch. Her hands are cool and soothing on Trini's burning cheek. She rests her hands gently on Kim’s waist like an instinct and looks into her eyes, “You shouldn’t have done that, Kimberly.”

“Anyone who does such a thing to anyone under my protection in my presence will experience the same thing.”

Trini shakes her head, “They’ll know. About us.”

“No they won’t, and even if they suspect they can prove nothing,” she kisses Trini fiercely, then pulls her into an embrace. Trini hugs her back just as hard. “I am the lady of this house, and he laid hands on you in front of two dozen witnesses. They know he's not worthy of being my husband," she sighs, "No one is."

She pulls away and kisses Trini again, slow and sweet, pushing her back against the door. Trini tangles her hands in Kim's hair, and deepens the kiss. Kim feels the sunlight coming through the window, warming her back, and she realizes this is the first time she's ever kissed Trini in the light of day. Their entire relationship, even before they realized they were in love, was conducted under cover of darkness. Something about being with her here, when the world is awake, and the sun is shining brightly, is strangely invigorating and she begins thinking daring thoughts.

Thoughts about forgoing the whole idea of a husband at all. Thoughts about being with Trini no matter what anyone else wants or thinks. Other great lords take lovers all the time, why not her? Her family has been the most powerful in this part of France for hundreds of years, and in three months she'll be of age. No one will be able to dictate to her what she can or cannot do.

Somewhere deep in the back of her mind, she knows that it's not as simple as that, but right now, with Trini in her arms, her hands in Kimberly's hair, Kim's hands drifting down towards the belt of Trini's breeches, intoxicated by the adrenaline of the confrontation, the relief of having stopped it before it went any further, and the feel of Trini's warm, full lips on hers, she can't quite bring herself to care.

Before she can untether from reality any further, there is a series of loud, insistent of knocks on the door. With reluctance, Kimberly separates from Trini, planting one final, soft kiss on her lips, and one on her rapidly swelling cheek, enjoying the soft sigh these actions inspire, before she says, "Yes?"

"Lord Fleming is here, my lady," says Jason, "If you are finished speaking with Navarre's apprentice."

"Give me a moment."

She looks at Trini, "Duty calls."

"He won't be happy."

"I truly don't care."

Trini allows herself a smile before reaching up, touching Kim's cheek gently with her calloused fingers, then moving her hand down and pulling the collar of Kimberly's dress back into place with infinite care. "I know you don't, princess," her voice is affectionate but serious, "But you should."

Kim sighs and steps back, hoping her hair isn't too disheveled. "It will be all right. I swear it."

Trini doesn't reply, just finishes adjusting her own clothes and kisses Kim one final time, like she can't stop herself. She's always more cautious than Kim, more likely to believe the worst case, and Kimberly understands that, even appreciates her pragmatism, but she finds herself hoping with all her heart that Trini is wrong in this, that perhaps this can signal the start of something new, something better. That they can turn the ugliness Tyler just brought into their lives into something amazing.

She says, "Until tonight," quietly to Trini, before retreating behind her father's huge oak desk and saying, "You may enter," to Jason.

**

Jason is standing guard outside of Kimberly’s chambers around two hours after midnight when he hears a commotion coming from the stairs at the opposite end of the hallway. He and the other three men on duty draw themselves up to full alertness, frowning as a half dozen guardsmen come hurrying down the hall.

Four of them are wearing the pale red and blue livery of the Hart family, the other two are in the Fleming green and gold. The lead man is a Hart guard named Foussant. He bows hastily to Jason and says, “Captain, you must come with us immediately. Something has happened to Captain Oliver.”

Jason frowns, “What is it?”

“There’s been… some sort of attack, sir… please you must come!” Foussant’s voice is on the edge of panic, which Jason can understand. For as long as he’s been here, Captain Thomas Oliver has been rock solid and near invincible. Anything that can hurt him is of grave concern.

“All right.”

One of the guards on duty with him, DeGuerre, steps up to take his place by the door, “Should we tell her ladyship?”

Jason shakes his head. Firstly, he knows that Trini is inside with her, secondly... “We shouldn’t concern her with this until we know for certain what’s going on.”

DeGuerre nods, “Yes sir.”

Jason hurries after the guards who came to fetch him, knowing he can trust his men not to bother Kimberly.

It only takes about five minutes to get to the guards' barracks with them all rushing. When he bursts in the door he is greeted by the sight of Captain Oliver crumpled into a heap on the floor, his throat sliced open so deeply that he’s almost beheaded, and an equally deep wound in his gut. There’s a pool of blood spreading out rapidly beneath him… and standing over him, bloody longsword in hand, is Tyler Fleming, the left side of his face still swollen from where Kim had punched him. Behind Fleming, he sees the bodies of a dozen Hart guardsmen, most of them wearing their night clothes, only a few of them with swords anywhere near. At least twenty Fleming guardsmen are arrayed around the room, bloody swords in hand, watching him with cold eyes.

Jason takes in the sight and immediately reaches for his sword (he’ll have time to be shocked by the betrayal and mourn his Captain later) but before his hand even grasps the hilt, he’s grabbed from behind by two of the guardsmen he came in with. He twists his head around and sees that Foussant has turned on the other three Hart guardsmen cutting them down with ruthless efficiency, his face expressionless, his eyes as cold as those of the Fleming men.

Jason doesn’t have time to say anything before Fleming is in front of him, grabbing him by his hair and yanking his head around. He places the tip of his sword, still warm with Captain Oliver’s blood, under Jason’s chin, “I’ve been waiting to do that for years… he never did give me proper respect.” The sword’s tip digs in hard, and Jason feels his own blood trickling down his neck, “And neither did you, you stinking little fishmonger, thinking you were good enough to even _stand_ in my presence, let alone _train_ beside me.”

He twists hard, and Jason grits his teeth to keep from crying out as Tyler wrenches his head back, “If it were up to me, I would do for you as I did for old Thomas there…”

“Waiting for your father's approval?” spat Jason.

Tyler sneers at him, “My father is as weak as Lord Hart was. He was given the opportunity to rule all and he insists on _honoring_ that fool’s legacy! I am ashamed to call him my blood…”

Jason’s mind is moving a mile a minute now. He tries to block out the pain from Tyler’s sword and his grip, and the way his arms are being wrenched back so hard it feels like his shoulders are dislocating. This was obviously not a spur of the moment thing, and it is obviously not something Tyler came up with himself. The man is too shortsighted to see beyond the slights he thinks he has been subjected to. No, someone else is behind this, and it clearly isn’t Lord Fleming.

But who? Who has enough influence and foresight to move these men into the castle? Who has enough power to demand and hold their loyalty?

And then he hears footsteps behind him, and a voice, female, soothing... almost friendly, “Enough, Tyler, darling. Let’s not ruin things by being petty and bitter. Your father is still necessary, and aside from that we must respect our elders.” Madam de Repoussant comes around and stands next to Tyler, smiling broadly at Jason, looking as polite and obedient as ever.

She puts a hand on Tyler’s sword arm, and without hesitation he lowers it, although there’s still a petulant pout on his face, “I don’t understand why we can’t kill him.”

“Because my darling, some people are far more useful alive than dead, don’t you know that? Your father, for instance…”

Tyler sneers at the mention of Lord Fleming, “Perhaps… although after tonight…”

“Yes, yes. You will finally be recognized for your greatness,” the woman purrs, running her hand across Tyler’s face in an intimate way that turns Jason's stomach.

“What use could this peasant piece of trash possibly be?” snaps Tyler.

“Captain Scott is quite vital to our plans, dearest,” she says, turning her attention to Jason, her eyes practically glowing. The bland obedience is gone now, and she’s staring at him like she wants to eat him alive, “He’s going to give us the key to controlling his mistress, and controlling _her_ is the key to all.”

Jason’s jaw clenches.

“Oh I can see you thinking that you won’t,” suddenly, she's standing so close to him her cloying perfume overwhelms his senses. He doesn't think he even saw her move. She leans forward, her lips right next to his ear, tone low, but still entirely conversational, “But let me tell you a secret, Captain, stronger men than you have broken. It’s only a matter of how much pushing I have to do and how much of your mind is left when I’m done.”

He wants to say something defiant, something that will show her that he is no hapless victim, but she doesn’t give him the chance. Before he can even form half a thought, the tip of her tall gold staff is touching his forehead and it feels like his mind is being torn apart. The pain is so intense he can’t even scream.

**

Trini leaves Kimberly’s chamber through the window an hour before sunrise. Normally she wouldn’t have stayed so long, but with all that had happened today, they’d had a lot to talk about, and more pent up emotions to release than usual, especially after their earlier encounter was interrupted. Kim had assured her again that all would be well and Trini let herself believe her because she wasn’t in the mood to argue. Kimberly defending her honor by hitting Tyler had been quite… stirring and she couldn’t put those feelings aside any longer.

She makes her way across the courtyard in a post coital haze, her thoughts drifting languid and content, her head buzzing pleasantly and full of Kimberly. She’s made this trip so often that the route is like a reflex, and concealing herself is instinct, so she doesn’t notice anything out of place. Later, she’ll wonder if she could’ve prevented all of it if she’d just been paying more a little more attention, one on a long list of regrets that will haunt her.

She’s just gotten back to her small room when she hears a noise behind her and suddenly finds herself being slammed against the stone wall beside her door so hard her back teeth rattle. There’s a hand on her throat applying such intense pressure that she’s seeing spots. She’s a foot off the ground and her feet are scrambling for purchase as she struggles for breath. For once she curses the fact that she was granted a private chamber when she became Navarre’s apprentice.

It’s too dark to identify her attacker, but she thinks from the silhouette it’s a woman. She kicks out blindly, and makes contact, but the other person doesn’t budge, just tightens their grip further and laughs, cold and menacing. “I thought you might be a feisty one, little DeeDee…”

She recognizes the voice immediately: Madam Rita de Repoussant. Her suspicions have finally been proven beyond a doubt, but it’s hard to feel too much satisfaction about having been right just at the moment.

“If you don’t stop squirming I’ll just choke you into unconsciousness and wake you up just in time to see me throw Lady Hart off the top of the highest tower in this dreary castle…” Rita’s voice is conversational, amused, like she's talking to a friend about the weather or an amusing pantomime she’d seen.

Trini goes still. Rita doesn’t seem like the type to make idle threats.

The hand on her throat disappears and she goes down in a heap, knees slamming on the ground painfully, coughing and gasping, trying to get air back in her lungs. When she looks up, her eyes have adjusted slightly to the dark (and she’s no longer seeing spots), so she can see what little moonlight is coming through her tiny window glinting off Rita’s blonde hair. She’s wearing her long robe and carrying that odd staff of hers… most disturbing is that her eyes almost seem to be glowing, a vivid, poisonous green that seems to reach straight into the center of Trini’s brain.

“So, where exactly is it you’ve been, little horse girl?” Rita asks, “Exploring the grounds? Night swimming? Perhaps running wild in the woods as I’ve heard you fiery Spaniards are so apt to do?”

" _Que te den por culo, que te folle un pez_!"

“Ah so spirited… but not particularly helpful or forthcoming," Rita jabs her in the midsection with the staff, hard but not as hard as she probably could. A warning.

Trini goes silent, spitting insults is satisfying, but unlikely to help. She gets a very bad feeling in her stomach as the woman crouches down, grabbing her roughly by the chin, her long fingernails pressing hard, drawing blood that she can feel trickling slowly down her chin.

“Were you out meeting a paramour? Some strapping young lad who enjoys your broad shoulders and the fact you smell like horse shit all the time?” her eyes narrow, as she brings Trini’s face so close she can smell her breath, which is foul and fishy and strangely metallic. When she speaks again her voice is breathy, almost seductive, “Or perhaps your forbidden lover is no _lad_ at all. Perhaps you'd prefer a pretty young lady with no common sense and an inexplicable interest in rutting like a dog in heat with her barely literate servants…”

A curtain of red drops over Trini’s vision and a vicious growl tears from her throat as a burst of adrenaline tears through her, and despite the fact that she’s still weak and shaky, and her head feels as though it’s full of cotton, she somehow manages to get her feet under her. She bursts up out of her prone position, surprising Rita, and breaking her grip on Trini’s face roughly, leaving scratches on her face from her nails losing their hold.

Trini’s movement forces Rita to go flying upright. Trini’s momentum carries her forward, and she grabs the taller woman around the middle, driving her into the opposite wall of the tiny room. The impact is jarring, and she thinks she hears Rita’s skull hit the wall hard.

The taller woman slumps in Trini’s grip, and Trini grabs her in the hold Jason taught her years ago, wrenching her arm backwards and spinning her around and down, Trini’s right arm curling around Rita’s neck in a chokehold. She doesn’t know what this woman wants, she doesn’t know why she’s come after her, but she knows that she’s a danger to Kimberly and she has to be stopped.

Rita is struggling feebly against her grip, “Please no…” she says, her voice a pained gasp, “...you’re hurting me I can’t breathe…”

And for a split second, despite the pain and the adrenaline and the anger, Trini hesitates. She has only ever fought to defend herself, and she is no murderer or sadist. She doesn’t _want_ to hurt anyone… Rita’s voice is so wounded, so panicked…

That hesitation is all Madam de Repoussant needs. Before Trini even realizes what’s happening, Rita is moving, almost… undulating in a way that doesn’t seem human, bending and twisting impossibly as her arm slips out of Trini’s grip and her body twists around. Suddenly, Rita is face to face with her, even closer than before. Trini’s arm is still around her neck, and the whole thing would almost feel intimate if Trini wasn’t so repulsed.

“It’s nice to know that there are some things you can always rely on. The gullibility and weakness of the compassionate has always served me well…” Rita laughs, so shrill it's almost a shriek, and for a moment Trini thinks she must be hallucinating, because Rita seems to… shift. Her face suddenly seems strangely inhuman, almost alien, raised ridges on her face, teeth sharpened to points like an animal… and those eyes. They’re piercing into her again, and she finds she can’t move.

Rita is still close, too close, her foul breath making Trini want to throw up. She closes her eyes, tries to move her head away, but she can’t. The woman’s voice is a hiss, “I was going to offer you a chance to cooperate, an opportunity to walk away from all of this unscathed, but I think I’ve thought of a way for you to assist that will be much more fun... for me anyway...”

Before Trini can respond, Rita grabs her by the front of her shirt roughly, claw-like nails raking over her shoulder as she does so, and tosses her head first into the wall.

The last thing she hears before everything goes dark is Rita's laugh.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My internet was being all stupid earlier tonight and I thought I might not be able to post this, so thank the lord for sketchy wifi not being sketchy ALL the time. The story of the past should be wrapped up in the next couple chapters, and then we'll get to back to the present (and I get to write Billy again... *happy clap*). Let me know what you think! (Oh and the Spanish in here is mostly insults and curses I looked up on the internet lol)
> 
> I can be found on tumblr at the url in the note that Never Leaves.


	7. Part III - the past (chapter 5)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rita talks. a lot. also, blood oaths and other acts of sorcery.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As I was writing this one I realized that things have been pretty unrelentingly grim for our heroes here for the last couple chapters so sorry about that (sort of lol). 
> 
> Also thank so much for all the reviews and incredibly kind tumblr messages you guys have sent. I don't always respond to every single comment because I'm horrible at communication sometimes, but I wanted to let you all know I appreciate them all.

part III - the past (chapter 5)

+++

Zack is usually the first of the grooms to wake up in the morning. It's not that he has any particularly pressing tasks to tend to at that hour, he simply likes watching the sun rise while he does relaxation exercises. He had always been energetic, constantly talking, always moving. It drove his mother crazy and she could only keep him so busy on her own, so she'd taught him meditation to calm him and to get a little peace for herself. It had become a habit, which he'd continued even after coming to work for Lord Hart. He'd even taught Trini some techniques to help keep her temper in check when things got particularly annoying.

The morning after Trini's confrontation with Tyler Fleming, Zack rises about an hour before dawn. He dresses and is heading across the yard towards the area by the stables where he can see the sunrise best when he hears a loud crash from behind him. He dashes the last few feet to the barn and conceals himself behind some bales of hay stacked by the wall before turning back to investigate.

The noise came from the end of the servants' quarters where Navarre and his apprentices are housed (Zack had teased Trini relentlessly for half a month when she was given a room there a couple years ago, calling her queen of the shit shovelers, which always earned him as scowl). Zack's brow furrows when he sees Madam de Repoussant emerge from the door of Trini's rooms, dragging something behind her like a sack of potatoes. He gasps when he realizes that what she's dragging is Trini (he can tell by her long dark hair and her compact size).

His first instinct is to run towards them, but then he sees a half dozen guards in Fleming livery emerge from behind them. He would've thought the incident yesterday with Tyler made Kimberly's policy on Fleming people disciplining her servants clear,  but this doesn't feel like that, not really. Madam de Repoussant looks far too comfortable, and Trini hasn't just been punished. She's been beaten badly, even from this distance he can see she's limp and still and bruised.

Something isn't right at all, and it seems Trini's instincts about this woman were right. It pains him physically to hold himself back from at least trying to help her, but he knows he couldn't take that many guards, and he'd be no use to her dead or beaten just as badly as she is. He tries to think who he can go to. The first name that comes to mind is Captain Scott's. They're not exactly best friends, but they're united by the fact they know Lady Hart and Trini's secret. He also has access Zack doesn't to Lady Hart and Captain Oliver. They'll listen to him where they might ignore a groom.

He waits until Madam de Repoussant and her men have dragged Trini past them towards the castle, then takes off, running from the stables across the courtyard to the guards' quarters, which are just around the corner from the training ground. He grinds to a halt as soon as the building comes in to sight and immediately pulls himself into concealment again. In the dim light of pre-dawn sky, he can see that the building is swarming with guards wearing both Hart and Fleming livery. Tyler Fleming is there, his face still swollen, ordering people about with authority. There's no sign of either Captain Oliver or Captain Scott.

As he watches, trying to figure out what the hell is going on, he sees servants carrying litters out of the guard house. Litters with covered bodies on them. A dozen bodies are brought out and taken in the direction of the church. Zack feels his chest tighten, wondering if Captain Scott is under one of the shrouds. Tyler watches them go, then says something to the Hart soldier that he's standing near, a lieutenant whose name Zack doesn't know. When he's done talking, he gathers a couple of men and heads towards the castle. Tyler goes into the castle. The lieutenant he'd spoken to follows a moment later, heading towards the stablemaster's quarters.

Zack watches as that man knocks on Navarre's door. When it opens, he speaks to Navarre for a moment, then bows stiffly and walks back towards the guards quarters. Zack waits until he's back inside before scampering across the yard. He knocks on Navarre's door without hesitation, knowing he can trust him. The old man has always been fair to him.

Navarre yanks the door open, glaring, and frowns when he sees who it is. His voice is gruff, almost distracted. "What is it boy?"

Zack glances back over his shoulder, "Sir. There's something very strange going on."

Normally, the old man would give Zack a ration of shit for bothering him at this time of morning (the sun still hasn't even peeked over the horizon yet), but today he examines Zack for a moment, his inscrutable pale blue eyes narrowed and then grunts, "Yes, I think there is," he tilts his head, "This have anything to do with our Spanish friend?"

The look on Zack's face tells Navarre everything he needs to know. The stablemaster grunts in a way Zack can't read, then steps aside so Zack can enter, "Better come in. Seems you might have something useful to tell me for once. "

**

Kimberly falls asleep almost immediately after Trini leaves her with one final kiss and a whispered, "Sleep well, _amor."_ The events of the day have been exhausting, and she knows that she's going to have to be awake in less than three hours.

Her sleep is black and dreamless, like it usually is when she was particularly drained. The nightmare doesn't begin until she's jolted awake by a rough hand shaking her hard on the shoulder. Her eyes open and she's jolted into groggy consciousness by a sudden flood of sensations. The orange glow of a half dozen torches half blinds her, the sounds and smells of a dozen people barging into her rooms fills her senses, the rustle of clothing, the stomp of boots, the smell of sweat and metal and the coppery tang of blood, so pervasive she can almost taste it. And underneath it all the subtle, disturbing  scent of decay: desiccated flesh and rotted fish. The air is close, too warm, and strangely humid. It's all jarringly unnatural, out of place.

She rubs her eyes as she sits up. Whoever just shook her has backed off, and she blinks several times, half convinced all of it is just an illusion, that if she just shakes the normal cotton headed fuzziness she usually feels just after she wakes up, she'll open her eyes and all she'll see is Amanda standing next to her bed, politely informing her that it's time to prepare for the day.

Unfortunately, when she finally looks again it’s is even worse than before, because aside from the half dozen green and gold liveried guardsmen arrayed around the room (all looking like they've just been in a battle, their uniforms stained with what looks suspiciously like blood, their hands on their swords) Madam Rita de Repoussant is now standing just inside the door, perhaps six feet from her, looking disturbingly beautiful in her rich green robes, her gold staff in hand. Her smile is pleasant and friendly and entirely awful in some way Kimberly’s tired mind can’t quite pin down.

Behind Rita, on either side of Kimberly's chamber door, stand Lord Fleming and his son. Any hope she might have had that there might be some reasonable explanation for this intrusion disappears when she examines the older man. He is standing rigid and stiff, hands clasped in front of him, mouth slack, eyes staring straight ahead, focused on nothing, empty and unfeeling as those of a corpse. There is no sign in this man of her father's best friend and closest advisor, who had always been so kind to her. Tyler, on the other hand, looks exactly as he had that afternoon, when he had finally revealed his true self: arrogant, cruel and spiteful. His clothing is as disheveled and stained as the guards', and his sword is drawn. She sees it is stained with blood.

Kimberly takes all of this in and feels panic coiling in her stomach like a snake, crawling up her throat, trying hard to choke her with terror, and crawling into her brain, trying to shut down her thoughts, cut her off from critical thinking and common sense, which are the only things that might get her out of whatever this situation is. With supreme effort, she pushes it down. It is foolish not to be afraid (she is a seventeen year old girl in her nightdress, surrounded by armed men and enemies), but she cannot allow her wits to escape her.

While it's obvious Rita is attempting some sort of coup, she has no idea whether her own men are currently fighting back. She doesn't know where Captain Oliver or Jason are. More importantly, she doesn't know where Trini is. She knows that as long as any of them are breathing and free, there is still hope. No matter what, she resolves to act like exactly what she is: the lady of this house.

Adrenaline cuts through the last lingering remnants of her sleep as she gets out of the bed and stands up, posture straight and regal, head held high. Madam de Repoussant is clearly in charge of the situation, so Kimberly fixes her with a steely, authoritative gaze. She looks every inch the lady, despite the fact that she is clad only in her night clothes.

When she speaks, her voice is as steady and commanding as her gaze. She keeps the fear and doubt out of it through sheer force of will and long experience. "What is the meaning of this, Madam de Repoussant?"

"Call me Rita, little Hart," the other woman says, smiling like a shark, all teeth. On the surface, she sounds like someone just catching up with an old friend, but there's an undertone of something else there, something pitiless and disdainful and powerful. Something that sounds like a predator speaking to something it is about to devour. "This is what I hope will be a peaceful transition of power."

"Transition of power?" Kimberly laughs harshly in shock and disbelief, "I am the lady of this house by right. My family has ruled her for hundreds of years."

"Indeed, which makes it all the more tragic that you've managed to lose control of things so thoroughly in so short a time," her smile turns sympathetic, "Some might call that pathetic, given all your advantages, and they are certainly partially correct. But really, you were up against forces you could not even begin to understand."

Kim clenches her jaw, "I have lost nothing as yet and I don't plan to do so. I'm not going to marry that pathetic excuse for a man," she jerks her chin at Tyler, "so quite how you think you're going to take any power here is beyond me."

Tyler growls and takes a step forward. Rita puts her hand up and he stops as though she's thrown a switch. She shakes her head in mock pity, "You are still under the impression you have any choice in this matter at all. I am merely being polite. _Merciful_ ,” she says the word with contempt, “I could have had your betrothed there slit your throat wide, like he did to dear Captain Oliver. Or perhaps removed your lovely head entirely and had it attached to pike over the castle gates. But I am giving you a choice: cooperate and live, defy me and die. Horribly."

Thinking of solid, invincible Captain Oliver being dead makes the panic crawl back up again. She didn’t want to believe it, but somehow she knows Rita isn’t lying. And the way she speaks of his murder, as though it meant less than nothing, make bile rise in Kimberly's throat. She forces herself to keep talking, to make her voice defiant, "What makes you believe I would ever cooperate with someone who would kill my men and steal my birthright?

Rita tilts her head at Kimberly as though she's excessively stupid, "Did you miss the part where Captain Oliver, and a number of your men are dead and dear Tyler here has taken over the guard?"

An icy chill goes down her back at that, but she says, "And do you think my people will follow you, knowing you have murdered Captain Oliver?"

“Perhaps not if they knew the truth. But I do believe they will be more understanding when they discover that our steadfast young lord here," she gestures to Tyler, "discovered evidence that Captain Oliver, so long believed to be the most loyal of men was plotting to kill you and may even have had a hand in your father's death. When brave Tyler confronted him, Oliver attacked and was tragically killed in the ensuing fight. As luck would have it, he has left behind a logbook which tells his plans in great detail.

“As for you…" Rita fixes her with a look of mock sympathy, "well, the deaths of your beloved parents have clearly put you on edge, and possibly addled your mind. Why else would you physically assault your beloved over something so trivial as the justified discipline of a servant? And this betrayal by your trusted captain of the guard is the last straw. The pressure has become too much and you have decided to abdicate your duties to Lord Fleming"

Kimberly feels righteous rage fill her, reckless and powerful, "If you think I would go along with such a thing, without fighting you every step of the way, you are more insane than your outfit would suggest," she raises her chin defiantly. "I would die before I willingly hand over anything to you."

Rita claps mockingly, smirking, "Lovely speech, little Hart, and I'm sure you believe every word. But I'm afraid I have something you don't: _leverage_."

Kim frowns at her, confused.

Rita's eyes are bright, cheerful, as she begins pacing back and forth slowly, casually. "I feel as though I have confused you, that you mistake my commitment. This is not some whim, some passing fancy I've suddenly decided on. So perhaps I should start at the beginning.

"You see, I have been _attempting_ to be subtle. It's never been my strong suit but in this case it’s just good sense. I could have simply taken everything by force, but I'm not ashamed to tell you that doing so would have drained me considerably. More importantly it is far easier to conquer people that way than to maintain your control afterwards. Such methods inevitably inspire resistance and conquerors are given no peace. Dealing with such things is tedious, and I have no time for tedium that serves no purpose.

“So, I bided my time. When one has been waiting for four centuries, a few years is nothing. It all started with the Flemings," she gestured towards the men behind her, "and their lands. The chaos and unrest was easy enough to create. A few travelers slaughtered here, a couple of children kidnapped there. A village or two razed by foul and unknowable creatures from ninth circle of hell,” she snaps her fingers, “Instant panic.

“It wasn't long before Lord Fleming became desperate for guidance and of course I magnanimously volunteered my services, which he was all too eager to take. So few people know anything about the elder forces, it’s helpful to have expert assistance,” she smiles smugly, “The hardest part was the spell I had to weave around his mind. Too much, and it would destroy him too quickly, too little and it would have no effect at all," she went to Lord Fleming and patted him on the head like a dog, he didn't react, "Subtle, you see?  It took two years to get him this way… one of my finest accomplishments really."

Kimberly feels as though Rita is telling her this to impress her, presenting it so she can all marvel at her genius. If so, it's not having the desired effect. Kim is appalled. The attacks in the East have taken many lives and destroyed even more. Hundreds dead or orphaned or permanently injured and this woman acts as though it is some sort of clever sport.

“Once he was taken care of, it was only a matter of finding a way to get closer to Lord Hart. Which is where our Tyler comes in. You were so young and hadn’t chosen a husband, so why not Tyler? The engagement was easy, and when I murdered your parents, I thought it would break you neatly into little pieces that your dear betrothed could carefully put back together with his love and attention, cementing your bond and his control. But then you proved to be so much more capable than I had thought. Your father had raised you so leniently, with free will and some foolish notion that you were to be the true power here once you inherited his title. Even after your parents died, you kept your spine straight. When that didn't break you, I was disappointed, but I thought once you were married Tyler would still be able to charm you enough to manipulate you."

She walks closer to Kimberly as she speaks, and Kim has to make an effort not to back away. The woman is radiating some foul energy that Kim feels on a primal level, "As with most men, I overestimated him. He was foolish enough to reveal what he really was, and you were audacious enough to do something about it."

Rita stops a mere arm's length away from Kim and leans on her staff, grinning at her, "Your reaction made me wonder though. Certainly Tyler took liberties by laying hands on one of your servants, but for you to react so viscerally? Wouldn't a well bred young lady simply order him removed from the castle? Or, if such physical punishment were necessary, why not have your captain of the guard mete it out? It made no sense, especially for someone so tightly controlled as you."

Kimberly schools her features, trying not to let any hint of the truth show on her face, "What he did was inexcusable. It was not this place. I was entirely within my rights as lady of this house to chastise him as I saw fit."

"Oh of course, of course," she nods, "It had nothing to do with the particular _person_ he assaulted. Obviously that tiny horse girl means no more to you than any other servant. How could you possibly feel anything for her but the maternal affection a master has for all those under protection? I'm sure you barely know her."

"You are correct."

Rita tilts her head, "Am I? I mean, I almost always am. It has kept me alive for a very long time," she taps one of her long, poisonously green fingernails on her chin, as if contemplating some great philosophical argument, “Hunches and instincts are all well and good, but there are times you must be absolutely sure of things. Just because one has a theory doesn't mean it is true."

She snaps her fingers. Tyler leans out the door way and gestures with his hand. Rita turns back to Kim, "I find," she says conspiratorially, "that often, the easiest way to get accurate information is simply to _ask_ someone who has firsthand knowledge of whatever it is you wish to know. Obviously, it's easiest if they just share this information with you freely... but..." there's shuffling in the hall, more footsteps approaching, "...that doesn't always work and sometimes the messy way can be much more satisfying."

With that, she steps aside, and two more guardsmen enter with Jason slumped between them. They drop him unceremoniously in front of her and he immediately curls into a ball and his arms over his head as though he's warding off a blow. He's shaking and she can hear him muttering to himself, high and ragged and frightened, words incoherent and fractured. His light brown hair is damp with sweat and his shirt is soaked as well.

Kimberly can't stop herself reacting. She cries out and kneels next to him. When she touches his arm, he jerks back violently, uncurling and scrabbling towards the wall, where he cowers with his knees drawn up to his chest. He lowers his head onto his knees and puts his hands over his head again, now rocking, still babbling. His eyes when she'd seen them briefly had been wide and wild and full of incoherent terror, like he was seeing something awful played over and over in his mind. He's not hurt physically, but his mind...

Not wanting to upset him again, she draws herself back up to her feet and turns to Rita, eyes blazing, "What have you done to him??"

"What happened to the steadfast young Captain was entirely his own fault. I wanted to ask him some perfectly reasonable questions, and he made it clear he wouldn't answer them, so I had to," she waves a hand vaguely, " _extract_ the information I wanted," she smiles regretfully, "Sometimes it's not quite as precise as one might like."

Kim shakes her head. This is madness. She's been in such shock over the simple fact that it appears this woman is trying to take over her lands that it hasn't quite sunk in that almost everything she's been talking about is sorcery. Magic. Things she'd always been told were _impossible_. Elder forces, mind warping spells, demons from hell...  part of her wants to laugh at Rita for trying to scare her with fairy stories, but nothing about the other woman speaks of empty words or idle talk, and Kimberly's never been one to deny the proof of her own eyes.

Lord Fleming's blank stare, Jason's incoherent ramblings and blind fear… they were caused by something.

She has little time to contemplate further as Rita continues, "The important thing, of course, is _what_ the Captain shared with me."

There's a knot of dread in the back of her mind that's been pushing forward ever since Rita first said the word "leverage", and it bursts through to the forefront of her thoughts as she says, "And what is that?"

Rita leans into Kimberly's personal space and whispers in a near hiss, " _Everything_."

This time she goes to the door herself to summon the guards, then steps back to watch Kimberly with rapt attention, as though preparing to catalogue every moment of her reaction. The two men who delivered Jason return and drag Trini into the room. At a nod from Rita, they half drop, half throw her limp body to the floor. She comes to rest in a limp tangle of limbs about a foot from where Kimberly is standing.

Time stops, and everything around her falls away. She doesn't care that Rita is right there, looking at them both with wide, delighted eyes as though she's feeding off Kimberly's anguish and Trini's pain, she doesn't care that there are other witnesses here that will most definitely know what is going on between them. None of it matters because for a terrifying moment she thinks the other girl is dead. She landed curled in on herself and totally still and she's obviously been beaten badly, blood trickling from a dozen cuts on her bruised and swollen face.

Kim takes two steps forward and goes down on her knees in front of Trini, her hand reaching for her to check her pulse. But before she can, Trini takes a shuddering breath, and a pained whimper escapes her. The relief that floods Kimberly is so intense it makes her lightheaded. Trini's eyelids are fluttering, and Kim can't tell if she's regaining consciousness or not. She's not sure whether she wants her to be. She has a feeling that the wounds she can see are definitely not the only ones that have been inflicted on her.

She pulls Trini closer, until her head is resting on her lap, the blood from the cuts on her face seeping into Kim's nightgown. Trini curls onto her side, drawing herself closer to Kim’s warmth, groaning in pain. She settles quickly, her features relaxing, some of the tension leaving her body. Kimberly thinks she hears the other girl say her name, broken and soft, but she can't tell.

Looking down at her, Kim feels her grief being rapidly overtaken by a pure rage, she glares up at Rita, and says, with absolute conviction, "If she dies, I will kill you."

Rita waves her hand, "So overdramatic. You're overcomplicating matters, focusing on the wrong things. You want fire and vengeance because I have beaten her within an inch of her life, but that is not what is most important. The most important thing is that you want guarantees that she will live. Think of this as an object lesson, my lady, in the art of proper application of pressure."

"Her life is not a bargaining chip," growls Kimberly..

"That's exactly what it is, my emotional little friend," Rita looks down at her with amusement and pity written on her face, "Look at you. Just five minutes ago, you were ready to fight all of us to the death if it meant keeping me from getting your precious legacy, but now the only thing you're thinking of is this creature and whether she survives."

The truth of the words hits her hard, and Kimberly can't hold Rita's green gaze. She'd always been aware of just how deeply she loved Trini, but until now she'd never fully realized just how much she would give up to see her safe.

Rita examines her face closely and smiles smugly, “You see? It's really only a matter of terms. What exactly would you do?”

“What?”

“What would you sacrifice to make sure she lives?”

“Anything,” Kimberly says fiercely, the word response coming almost without conscious thought, as she looks down at the broken, beautiful girl shivering in her lap and then back at Rita, “I would give up anything for her to live.” There was a small voice in the back of her head, telling her that she should be ashamed for giving it all up so easily, but it's drowned out quickly (and she tells herself that if they get out of this alive, she'll do all in her power to return and take Rita down). Kimberly could live without her title, although the guilt would weigh on her heavily, but she could not live in a world where Trini was dead, especially if there was a way she could prevent it.

 “Even your own life?”

“Yes,” she says, reckless and unhesitating.

Trini stirs weakly, tries to speak. Kimberly knows she’s telling her she’s not worth it. She looks down at her, touches her face gently. Trini is fading in and out of consciousness, barely aware, but she holds Kimberly’s gaze for a moment before her head falls to the side.

Kimberly looks up again at Rita, “Enough games,” despite the fact tears have begun rolling down her face, her voice is steady and her eyes hold Rita’s without flinching, “What _exactly_ is it you want from me?”

“Your title and lands, abdicated to Lord Fleming freely and willingly. Give them to me in the way that I require, and the horse girl will live.”

“And how can I know that you won’t break your word and kill us when I’ve done as you say?”

Rita’s lip curls, “Your father was damnably beloved, your whole family has been for generations. If I were to kill you or imprison you or be seen to be coercing you in any way, I would face the same problems as I would have if I’d simply conquered this godforsaken place. You will sign a decree stating you are giving everything up. You will then address everyone of any worth in this castle, where you will tell them what we discussed before: Captain Oliver's betrayal, Tyler's noble actions, the stress becoming too much for you. You will tell them that Lord Fleming," she flicks a contemptuous glance at the catatonic lord, "has your implicit trust, and then you will go to live with your distant cousins in Normandy. All very tidy.”

“After which you would kill us," Kim says.

“Killing you would not satisfy me in the least,” the green eyes flash, “And even if it would, it isn’t as though you have much choice. Refuse me and I’ll finish killing your little stable girl in the most unpleasant way I can think of. And believe me when I say I can think of some very unpleasant ways.”

Just the thought of such a thing causes Kimberly’s heart to clench painfully. “You’d let us leave?” her tone is hard and incredulous.

“Yes. You and this one and anyone else you’d care to drag along with you. And in answer to your next tedious question, as long as you stay off these lands, I will not pursue you. You’ll be free as a bird.”

Kimberly feels a pain of a different sort now. What this woman is suggesting is exile. Exile from lands that have been her family’s for generations. Hundreds of years, handed from one Lord to the next, and all of it ruined less than half a year after coming into her care. Her father would be so very disappointed in her right now.

But then Trini groans weakly, and she’s reminded of her priorities. “How can you guarantee your word?”

Rita curls her lip at the request, "Oh yes... _trust_ ," she waves her hand dismissively, “We will make a blood bond, I shall swear that your horse girl will live, I’ll even heal her for you, and that you will be together for eternity... or for as long as you can still stand one another's presence.”

Kim narrows her eyes. A blood bond. She's read about such things, in stories, in books from her mother's lands. In the legends, it is one most powerfully binding oaths, and the penalty for breaking it is instant, painful death. If the stories were correct, in order to seal the oath, she would have to exchange blood with Rita. The thought of such a thing, of giving up any part of herself to this woman, sends a shiver up her spine.

"The longer we wait to treat her injuries, the more likely it becomes she will die before I can do anything to heal her," Rita says staring at her nails, "I was sure to be quite thorough, and I'm almost positive that she's bleeding internally."

A flash of anger rips through Kim, though it's not Rita she's mad at. Rita's been plotting this for months, and Kimberly has just let it happen. She's been so overwhelmed, so convinced of Lord Fleming's good intentions that she has never properly questioned Rita's presence or her motives, even though she had _known_ something wasn't exactly right. The shame of it rises up like a wave, but she pushes it away. There’s no use dwelling on regrets when things are so dire. She’ll have plenty of time to castigate herself for past failures when they’ve made it out of the castle alive.

She considers her options. Surrender her family’s lands to this repulsive woman, but keep Trini alive. Go into exile: no land, no fortune. Just the two of them, living by their wits and their skills, limited though those may be. Or stand her ground, watch as Rita as the girl she loves, and then probably lose everything anyway, including her own life.

In the end, it’s not much of a choice at all. She looks up at Rita, “All right.”

Rita gives her that shark's smile again and steps toward her, holding out her right hand. Kimberly stares at it warily. "Blood oath, little Hart. You are as untrustworthy as I in this matter..."

Kimberly glares at her rebelliously, even as misgivings tug at her. Slowly, she raises her left hand. Rita's hand, cold as ice and damp like a sea cave, closes instantly, her grip viselike. Kim winces but holds her ground. Rita's eyes glow even brighter green and Kim feels something building in the air, like an invisible force, raising the hair on the back of her neck. The gold staff in Rita's other hand begins to glow, and the sorceress (for that is what Kim knows her to be now) waves it over their joined hands.

When she speaks, her voice seems to fill the whole room and echo into Kimberly's soul. She can't stop looking into Rita's eyes. "I, Rita de Repoussant, vow that I will heal this girl, Trinidad Gomez," even in this state, Kim can hear the distaste in Rita's voice at having to speak Trini's name, "I vow that, if Lady Kimberly Hart fulfills her own oath, that I will allow her to leave this place alive and well with the girl, and that I will not pursue them outside of these lands for as long as she lives. I swear this on my life and on my blood."

A jolt goes through their connected hands and Kim is suddenly filled with a feeling of absolute certainty. She knows as surely as she's ever known anything that this vow is binding and that Rita will not break her word. Rita looks at her expectantly. Kimberly takes a deep breath, and when she speaks she's surprised to hear that her voice has the same eerie resonance that Rita's had, "I, Kimberly Hart, vow that, if Madam Rita de Repoussant fulfills her own oath, I will cede my lands and titles to her willingly,” she stops and then feels Rita’s eyes burning into her, almost against her will, her mouth opens again and she says, “and I will repeat any story she wishes me to about Captain Oliver..."

Once the words are spoken, another jolt runs through her and Rita turns her hand over. Tyler hands her a knife, sharp and clean, and she uses it to cut deeply into Kimberly's palm. Kim winces in pain before Rita hands her the knife. Kim frowns down at it.

"Now now, don't get any ideas, darling Kimberly. Just the hand, hmmm?"

Kim grits her teeth, takes the knife and cuts into the palm of Rita's hand just as deeply as she cut into Kim's, applying a great deal more force than absolutely necessary. Tyler immediately grabs the knife from her, and then Rita connects the cuts on their palms. Another wave of agony cuts through Kim's mind and body, but this time Rita seems to feel it too. It's so intense that Kim can't keep herself from crying out in pain, and then the world blurs and she collapses, but doesn't lose consciousness.

Kimberly comes back to herself slowly and finds that Rita is in motion. She gestures and the guards start moving with clipped efficiency. Two of them haul Jason to his feet. He's still shivering and twitching but has gone quiet. They start to pull him out of the room, Kim can barely form a thought but she reaches out her hand, "Don't... you can't hurt him..."

"I've already hurt him. But I suppose since I can say I won't do it again. It’s not as though he’s much use to me anymore,” she frowns, “I suppose you’d like him trailing after you like a stray puppy as well?” she shakes her head at Kim, seemingly in wonder, “Such a soft heart for someone so well bred. Perhaps recent events will convince you how foolish _caring_ is."

She snaps her fingers and a single guard comes and pulls Trini up, lifting her into his arms with surprising care. Kimberly feels as though her heart is being wrung out as the guard carries her towards the door. She scrambles to her feet and starts to follow almost on instinct, as though they're connected by an invisible tether, but Tyler moves to block her. She doesn't see Trini leave the room, but as soon as she's gone, Kim feels her absence in the depths of her soul.

She glares up at Tyler.

He sneers at her, "So concerned with trash... you're not worthy to be the steward of these lands."

"You're barely worthy of being a man," she snaps. Not her best comeback, but it has been a most trying morning.

Fury instantly twists his face into that ugly snarl and he draws back his hand. She catches his wrist as he brings it down towards her face and channels all of her sorrow and frustration and despair into the blow she delivers neatly to his groin with her knee. His breath goes out of him in a great long gust and a high pitched sound escapes as he crumples into a heap, clutching at his bruised manhood. “I always was faster than you, you piece of shit,” she spits.

She draws back her foot to kick him again (she’s hit him twice in the last twenty four hours and she feels like it’s not nearly enough), but finds herself restrained by a guard. Rita sighs, "Temper, temper, my lady. There’s no time for such outbursts. We’ve little time before the castle begins to wake in earnest, and we still need to get you dressed," she glares down at Tyler, eyebrow raised, contempt in her voice, "Tyler, when you think you might be able to walk properly again, go down and begin assembling the servants and staff."

"She... she..." his voice is unnaturally high pitched and there are tears leaking from the corners of his eyes.

"I saw, darling. Next time you should re-think attacking someone you know is not helpless, especially when she’s already relieved you of a body part today," Rita gestures to a guard in the hallway. When he approaches, she says, "Fetch her ladies' maids. It's time to get Lady Kimberly ready for her big performance."

**

It doesn't take long to arrange things. She's dressed in her most ostentatious finery and escorted to the Great Hall, where she sits in her father's gigantic oak chair behind the giant oak desk that's hauled out for formal ceremonies. The decree has already been written out, and one of Rita’s oily looking chamberlain’s slides it in front of her as her guardsmen and some of Kimberly's herd what seems like half the castle into the Great Hall. Servants, guards, her father’s staff, all of them confused.

Trini and Jason have been taken somewhere, hostages to ensure her cooperation (Rita has promised to keep Jason alive, but it wasn't included in the blood oath, so Kimberly is wary of it). Even after everything, Rita doesn’t trust her, which is fine because Kim doesn't trust Rita either. The blood oath is binding, but Kimberly has no idea what the extent of Rita's power is, if she's powerful enough to extends to bypass blood magic. Kim herself had never studied such things enough to know if bypassing them was even possible.

It makes her feel like a fool, that all this could be going on beyond her notice. She wonders if her father knew of these forces in his own lands, if he didn't trust her with the information… but she pushes all of this out of her mind. She has to remain focused on the goal in front of her, take things step by step, otherwise it will overwhelm her which could mean disaster for everyone in this castle.

The ‘ceremony’ if that’s what it is, goes by in a blur. She can’t even look at the people in front of her, can’t stand to see the confusion and disappointment in their faces as she holds her head high and recites the poisonous words that Rita has forced on her. She feels like she’s failing her father and her family, that perhaps she’s been doing so for years.

When it’s done, Rita’s guards take her back to chambers, where she changes out of her silken finery and into her riding clothes, which are the least formal garments she owns (her father had allowed her to ride in breeches and boots, which she’s thankful for now). She finds her smallest trunk, a case that she can carry easily in her arms, and fills it with extra clothes and a few books. The only piece of jewelry she takes is a ring, a beautiful pink sapphire in a gold setting that her father gave to her mother. She puts it on a plain piece of string and ties around her neck.

Then she settles down to wait, resisting the urge to burst past the dozen guards stationed in the hallway and try to find Trini. Not knowing where she is or how she is makes Kimberly’s hands shake. She’s exhausted, having slept perhaps two hours in the last twenty four, but her mind hasn’t settled enough to allow her any rest. She’s just resolved to lie down and at least try to do sleep when there’s a sound from her window.

She whirls around in surprise and is greeted by the sight of Zack Taylor scrambling in through the window awkwardly. For a moment, it almost makes her choke up again, because the only other person to enter her room that way is Trini, but she pushes it aside. Zack is here. Zack is free. And from the look on his face, Zack knows that something is very wrong.

She gets up and pulls him into a tight hug. In truth she barely knows him, and it’s almost comical the way he stiffens and pats her awkwardly, but she’s so damn relieved to see a friendly face (any friendly face) that she can’t stop herself. She feels tears welling up in her eyes and swipes them away as she pulls back, releasing the poor boy and stepping back towards her bed.

“Zack!” she says, keeping her voice low to avoid alerting the guards.  She has so many questions for him, she doesn’t even know where to start.

Seeming to sense this, he just starts talking,“This morning… in the stables, I saw that woman dragging Trini out. I wanted to go to her, to do something about it, but there were a bunch of guards and I’m crazy but not that crazy. Then I tried to find Cap, but the guard house was crawling with Fleming guys, and there were bodies being taken out, and Tyler was acting like he was in charge. I went to Navarre, and he said they'd told him that Trini had tried to take another swing at Tyler and I knew that wasn’t true. Navarre got called to that weird ceremony this morning, and then came and told me what happened. I figured that was the final straw, weird shit wise. You'd never give this place up. So I decided to come figure out what the hell was going on."

He seems to realize he’s rambling and disordered. He bows to her suddenly, “I’m sorry, my lady…”

“You don’t have to be sorry,” she says, and frowns, “And I’m no one’s lady anymore.”

“Was it true? What you said about leaving?”

“Yes.”

“What about Trini?”

She shakes her head, “You saw what Rita did to her.  She said she would kill her if I didn’t do what she wanted.” tears of frustration and grief well up and this time she doesn’t stop them. She can’t. “So she’s going to heal Trini and then we’re going to leave. We’re probably going to take Jason with us, if she hasn’t killed him too… we have to leave these lands entirely. But she says she’ll leave us alone if we do.”

Zack frowns skeptically, “You believe her?”

“We swore a blood oath.”

He draws in a sharp breath, and she looks up, “You know about those?”

“My mother…” Zack clears his throat, “She knows a lot of things about a lot of things.”

“Then you know that if Rita's sworn the oath, I have no choice but to believe her. I swore one too, that’s why I had to do what I did."

Zack looks at her gently, “I don’t think that’s _exactly_ why you did it.”

Kim doesn't deny it, “For all the good that it will do. We’re alive, but we have no place to go. Everyone I knew is here. No one outside these lands knows me or has any obligation to help me. We will have nothing…”

“I’m coming with you.”

“I can’t ask that of you.”

He lets a little of that devilish grin appear, “I know you wouldn’t ask. That’s why I’m just doing it. If Trini’s told you anything about me it’s that I’m persistent and that I never abandon my friends.”

Kim allows herself a small smile, "She may have mentioned it," she sighs, becoming serious again, “But I’m not your friend. I’ve done nothing but betray the trust of everyone in this castle and hand the fate of my lands over to a madwoman."

“You love Trini enough to sacrifice everything you know to save her life,” Zack says, solemn now, “That makes you a lot more than a friend of mine, as far as I’m concerned.”

Kim shakes her head, unsure if she’s worthy of the kindness and admiration and fierce loyalty in his voice, but pathetically grateful for it nonetheless. She sniffs and swipes at her eyes again, “We won’t have anything, Zack. We’ll be nomads. Even if she’s not chasing us, it’ll be like being on the run.”

He shrugs, “Sounds like an adventure. Besides, I can’t stay here without Trini. She’s the only thing makes it tolerable.”

She chuckles wetly, “I know the feeling,” she sighs, “I don’t know when Rita's coming back for me, but we’ll probably have to leave as soon as she does.”

“I’ll grab my things and get out of the castle. Not like anyone around here will notice me, only Navarre and Trini really gave a shit in the first place. When you leave, I’ll join you. And then we can go to my mothers’ place. We’ll need a place to rest and figure out what we’re going to do, right? We won’t be able to stay there forever, but it’s outside the borders of the Hart lands and she knows people who might help.”

Kimberly nods, accepting that he won’t be dissuaded, and not sure how hard she would want to try to do so anyway. Somehow having him say she’s done the right thing, even if she’s still not sure, is infinitely reassuring.

“I’d better go, if I want to have time to get out of the castle quietly,” he bows to her awkwardly, out of some ingrained habit. She rises and hugs him again, unable to stop herself. He’s not as stiff as last time, patting her back sympathetically.  “It’ll be all right, my lady. She’ll be alive, and as long as we’re all alive, we’ll be able to figure something out.”

She nods. He disengages from her and goes back out the window, his lanky gracefulness in slipping out in contrast to Trini’s blunt strength. She takes a deep breath, feeling at least a little lighter. What she feels isn’t necessarily hope, or even optimism, but at least she knows they have one friendly place to go after all this is done.

She sits back on the bed and turns to wait for Rita.

**

It’s just before sunset when Rita comes for her. Aside from a very confused Amanda bringing her a midday meal, no one has been in to see her since Zack left. She actually managed to fall asleep for awhile, practically collapsing from the sheer weight of her fatigue and the events of the day, but her sleep had been troubled by nightmares, visions of blood and Rita de Repoussant, Tyler Fleming’s sneering face, Jason’s terrified eyes, and (most of all) Trini’s broken body on the floor in front of her.

Rita is standing over her when she jerks awake, and there’s a moment of visceral distaste and abhorrence that washes over her, because for a split second, she doesn’t look entirely human. Then she stands up, and that smugly amused smile is on her face again. “Time to go, little Hart.”

Kim takes a deep breath, standing with as much dignity as her upbringing can grant her (which is a considerable amount), and pulling her small travel chest into her arms. There are four guards with Rita, but thankfully Tyler isn’t there. No more words are spoken as they walk out of the castle and towards the stables.

Her heart clenches tightly as she realizes that this may be the last time she sees any of this. This castle has been her home for her entire life. She's never left it for more than a day or two, and she's never gone farther than the borders of her lands. It is her connection to her parents and her legacy, it is a vital part of her. And she is _choosing_ to leave it behind. She had known this before, of course, but the reality of it hits takes her breath away, and grief and regret crashes into her like a wave. The only reason she doesn’t give into her impulse to weep is because she doesn’t want Rita or these men to see it.

The tightness only gets worse as she approaches the stables, where she can see a rather rickety old cart with two rickety old draft horses hitched to it parked. This is a place she always associates with Trini.

As they get closer, she sees that the cart isn’t empty. Jason is sitting slumped in the back. He’s still wearing the same clothes he had on before, and he looks a bit better than the babbling incoherent mess he’d been when Kimberly had first seen him today. He’s still shaking slightly, and his lips are moving a little, as though he’s talking to himself, but he seems calmer. His eyes are haunted, but not hysterical. He’s also unarmed and clearly in no condition to fight, although that hasn't stopped Rita from surrounding him with four guards.

There are other things in the cart, Jason is slumped up against some covered bundles. Rita smiles condescendingly, “Supplies. Tents, blankets, even some food. Never let it be said I’m not generous. We can’t have you going out into the wide world with nothing, especially since you’ve done so well thus far. That speech you gave was lovely.”

Kim doesn’t dignify that with a response. The woman won’t be getting any credit for showing a modicum of basic humanity, especially when Kimberly doesn’t trust her ‘supplies’ to be of any better quality than the cart and horses, which all look about to collapse. Instead, she says, “Where’s Trini?”

“Your little horse girl is coming,” Rita gestures lazily towards the castle, and two men bearing a litter come their way. Tyler is behind them with a cruel grin on his face. Kimberly can’t believe she ever thought he might be handsome.

The men put the stretcher down directly in front of Kimberly. Trini's more obvious wounds have been bandaged, but she's still disturbingly still. Her chest is still rising and falling, but her breath is unsettlingly labored, and there's a frightening sounding, pained wet wheeze on every inhale and exhale. Kim takes a step towards her,  but Rita scoffs and gestures with her staff and she feels someone grabbing her from behind. Tyler... gripping harder than is entirely necessary. She doesn't give him the satisfaction of crying out or complaining.

 “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves, little Hart," she says, mocking, "I still have to heal the poor creature, and I can’t do that with you hovering over her.”

Rita glances behind Kimberly towards the west. The sun has just gone down, and the sky is shading over to twilight. She turns back, seemingly satisfied with what she’s seen. Then, without warning, Rita looks straight into her eyes. Kim wants to look away but it’s like an invisible force is holding her head in place. Rita’s eerie green eyes start to glow brightly and she begins moving her staff in an odd pattern and speaking words in a low guttural language Kim doesn’t understand.

The words are hypnotic and steady, and though Rita's voice remains low, Kim feels as though the words are her entire world, marching through her head, infiltrating every corner of her brain. Her head begins to ache, a deep, dull, throbbing pain that makes her grit her teeth. She tries to close her eyes against it, but Rita’s gaze is still holding her steady. This is a different feeling than the one she’d had when she’d been taking the blood oath. There’s a feeling of powerlessness now that is making it worse.

Kimberly thinks it must be affecting everyone in the courtyard, because she feels Tyler’s grip loosen and hears him make a pained grunting sound, but all of this is muffled, like it’s coming from far away

The words start coming faster, the movements of Rita’s staff are getting more frantic, even though Rita herself still seems entirely in control. Finally, she brings her staff down hard on the ground, and a wave of pure force sweeps across the courtyard. The horses in the stables are neighing and snorting, panicked. The guards and Tyler stagger hard, a couple of them falling to the ground. Jason cries out and holds his head.

As the wave of force sweeps her through her, there’s a split second of intense pain, as though her body and soul are being ripped in two. She goes stiff for a moment that feels like an eternity and then it’s gone, leaving every nerve in her body feeling as though it’s been lit on fire and is still simmering. She would’ve fallen except that Rita’s gaze seems to be literally holding her in place. The staff is glowing brightly, radiating a power that Kim know is both infinite and unholy. Just as the pain inside her begins to fade, Rita gestures sharply with her free hand and looks away. Kimberly collapses as though she’s a puppet whose strings have been cut and groans.

Rita crouches down in front of her and grabs her chin roughly, forcing her head up. Kimberly can feel Rita’s claw like nails digging into her face. “It is done, your stable girl is healed just as I promised,” Rita smiles broadly as she jerks Kim’s face around to face the litter Trini had been lying on.

Between the lingering pain and her revulsion at Rita’s nearness, it takes a moment for Kimberly to fully comprehend the scene in front of her. Trini has disappeared. In her place is a large wolf with dark brown, almost black, fur and bright yellow eyes. The wolf is trying to stand, but seems disoriented, it can’t seem to focus on anything and there’s a pained whine coming from its throat, as though it’s been injured.

“Don’t worry, she’s not actually hurt, just a little headache, just like yours.”

“What are you… where’s Trini?”

“You’re looking at her, girl. And everyone thinks you’re so smart…”

Just then, the wolf swings its head around and meets Kim's eyes. And an invisible force hits her in the chest, something primal and powerful, an echo of what she had just felt when Rita had chanting. Her head gives an intense throb, and the same feeling of total certainty that had hit her when Rita was reciting her blood oath settles over her. She knows beyond any shadow of a doubt that this animal is Trini, no matter how much her mind is screaming at her that it’s impossible, or her heart is trying to deny it.

“No…” Kim says softly, then, voice rising, with every word, “No… no no no… what have you done to her…” tears roll down her face now and Rita looks disgusted as they hit her hand. She lets go of Kim, and wipes her hand as she stands up.

“I healed her. Just as I said I would. Look at her, she’s the very picture of health: glossy coat, shiny eyes, paws entirely free of thorns.”

An anguished noise tears itself from somewhere deep in Kimberly's soul. She ignores the way her body is still protesting, and lunges at Rita, who just laughs and takes two steps back. Kimberly’s legs wobble and go out from underneath her. She catches herself with her hands, the dirt scraping her palms, the impact rattling her teeth. A pained grunt huffs out of her lungs when she hits the ground, and almost instantly, a loud growl tears out of the wolf. Suddenly it’s next to Kim, hackles raised, teeth bared, snarling at Rita, glaring at her with narrowed yellow eyes.

“See, she’s still disgustingly loyal to you, even after you’ve cursed her to half a life…”

“Half a life?”

“I kept my part of the bargain. She is alive and well. She’s just going to spend her nights as a mangy animal.”

Kim’s jaw drops open. She knows that sorcery has figured heavily into what's happened today, but this, this is even more difficult to believe somehow… she’s struck speechless.

Rita’s eyes are alight with something close to glee. It’s the nearest thing to genuine happiness she has thus far displayed, her voice delighted as she explains, “From the time the sun touches the horizon to the time it rises again, she will be this creature. She will remember you well enough to know that she is yours, that she is drawn to you, that she loves you above all else, and perhaps she will even seem more aware, almost to understand you… so very close to being a person, but she won’t be, not really. And when she becomes a girl again, she won’t recall anything that happened when she was a wolf, at least not in any way that truly matters.”

Kimberly looks at the wolf again. Its fur is the same dark brown as Trini’s hair, and when it looks back at her with its yellow eyes, it seems more aware than any wolf than she has ever seen. Cursed to _half a life_ … she puts her hand tentatively on the wolf’s neck, and it… she… seems to lean into her touch, even as she remains between Kimberly and Rita, protective as ever.

“Oh don’t look so sad, my lady. I recognize what a cruel twist of fate this is,  and I feel it wouldn’t be kind to let you spend your days pining and sad, commiserating with her over what she lost. I certainly couldn’t allow her to _forgive_ you for consigning her to such a thing. So to give you less time to dwell, you’ll be spending your days as a very lovely falcon.”

“What?”

“A falcon dear, a large bird of prey. I did promise you your freedom after all, and now you’ll be as free as you can be," she flaps her hands mockingly, "Soaring above the trees, into the clouds... keeping the vermin population in chest. You'll be like she is now: always be drawn to her, always _knowing_  you feel something for her. You'll have a closer bond with her than any falcon ever with her master, you just won't remember it. Just like her. There’s such lovely symmetry to it.”

Kimberly stares at Rita, the words sliding over her brain, seemingly unable to penetrate. It's inconceivable, impossible to wrap her mind around. She'll be a _bird_? She'll never see the daylight again? She'll never see _Trini_ again... She can't speak, only stare at Rita. Despite the unwavering certainty she had felt earlier (still feels now, deep in her soul), her mind tries to reject it. It must be a lie, it must be a trick. She's never heard of anything like this before. The power involved is so immense. All that rises to the surface from the jumble of her thoughts are the words, "You're... you're lying..."

Rita puts her hand to her chest, affronted, "I'm offended that you believe I would break my oath, especially when doing so would result in my death. I have promised to heal her. I have promised not to pursue you. I have kept one part of that bargain, and I intend to keep the other," she gestures at the rickety wagon.

"You're... taking her from me," the words come almost unbidden, and Kimberly is appalled by how weak her voice sounds.

"Don't be a fool. She's right here," she gestures at the wolf, whose growl only grows louder. This time it actually snaps its jaw at Rita. "Really you shouldn’t be so ungrateful. I’m doing you a favor. You were destined to fail anyway, eventually become overwhelmed by your duties and responsibilities, certainly to be subject to unrest when people learned of your dalliances and perversions with this girl...” her eyes dart to the snarling wolf, “I'm sorry, this lovely specimen of lupine majesty. I am saving you future humiliation _and_ making you the subject of an epic tragic romance."

Her voice is still unabashedly amused, but Kim can't even stir herself to be angry about it. All she hears is the truth behind the words. _Her failures, her bad decisions_. They have led them here. She is the reason Jason is sitting slumped in the back of the wagon looking broken. She is the reason Trini is an animal. This is the price she is paying, the price that they are all paying.

The wolf senses her distress and turns its head towards her, a look of what seems like infinite understanding and concern in its eyes. As she stares into them she thinks she can see something in them. Some compassion, some connection... she thinks this might be worse, especially since Rita has told her that they won't remember what they've done as animals.

She reaches out and a hand, shaking slightly, and puts her hand on the wolf's back, between its shoulders. The fur is soft and the animal radiates heat. It stops growling almost immediately and shifts, turning towards her more fully. She can feel powerful muscles flex as it takes a step towards her drapes its head over her shoulder, nuzzling her lightly. This gesture confirms everything in a way that not even the supernatural jolt she felt earlier couldn’t. She wraps her arms around the wolf's neck and starts to cry, not caring who's watching.

From somewhere far away, she hears Rita's voice, still delighted, like a prankster who has pulled off an amazing trick. “Always together, eternally apart… has a lovely ring to it doesn’t it?”

She barely notices when hands reach to pull her up. The wolf snarls and snaps as they're separated, and she hears Tyler cry out as it apparently takes a bite out of his side. He stops trying to restrain the animal then, and it's only kept at bay by the guardsmen's drawn swords. The men shove her towards the wagon’s bench, and she staggers forward numbly, scrabbling up to sit and taking the reins, her whole body feeling as though it’s no longer under her control.

Rita’s voice snaps at the guards, anger replacing the former cheeriness, "Don't harm the creature! If she leaves here wounded, my oath is broken!"  Kim turns and sees the guardsmen backing off. Tyler had been in a fighting stance, evidently ready to strike the wolf down.

As soon as the men stand down, the wolf gives them a final snarl and then leaps into the back of the wagon because the bench isn’t wide enough for it. It… she… trots past Jason, who stares at it in confusion, and sits just behind and to the left of Kim, straight and vigilant.

“Bon voyage!” Rita calls, grinning, as the gates open. Kimberly, still feeling dazed and like she’s acting automatically, snaps the reins gently and directs the horses towards the gate. She guides them through and then, a few moments later, hears the gates close with a heavy finality. She’s almost glad she’s driving, because it means she can’t look back to see her home disappear from view, possibly forever.

They’re about a half mile from the castle into the deeper part of the wood that surrounds it when Zack appears, darting out in front of the cart.

Kim looks at him, startled. She’d almost forgotten that she asked him to meet them. Zack smiles when he sees her, and glances back, spotting Jason. His brow furrows when he sees the wolf and he stops half way towards putting the bundle of belongings he’s brought with him in the back. When the wolf makes no move to snap at him, he carefully places the bundle next to the supplies Rita had given them, then pulls himself up next to Kim.

He glances over her, confused and a bit concerned, and says, “Where’s Trini?”

It takes everything in Kimberly’s power not to burst into tears.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like that was pretty "exposition-y", but it's necessary to fully understand end game (and so is the next chapter). Rita's motivations are a little murky, but they'll get cleared up a bit next chapter. but OMG you guys she's a fucking WOLF... (forgive me it's midnight and i'm delirious) hope you enjoyed it! please let me know what you think, if you'd like. 
> 
> The always together, eternally apart line is from the movie Ladyhawke (which actually has more than a few decent angsty lines. 
> 
> I can be found on tumblr @ haughts-bulletproofvest.


	8. Part III - the past (chapter 6)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the morning after. exposition abounds.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this was supposed to be the last chapter of the past. but... well, my brain interfered (see the end note for a detailed account of this latest entry in the amazing saga entitled me vs. spending, like, 70k words in the past). anyway, because of the brainwave, it's a little shorter than the last couple. which isn't saying much lol. enjoy!
> 
> chapter counts were made to be upped.

part III - the past (chapter 6)

**

Jason’s head still feels as though it’s filled with cotton and lead weights, but ever since they left the castle, he’s been able to concentrate enough to at least attempt pulling himself together. When they were still on the grounds, every time he’d tried to latch on to reality again, _she_ would come near and it would feel as though his mind was being into tiny pieces again.

As soon as they pull away from the gates, he closes his eyes and tries again to begin the slow steady process of reassembling his brain. He tries to pick out things he knows to be true and solid, not hallucinations and horrors that were planted inside him when she tore him apart and then slapped him back together haphazardly. It was a method he’d learned from Captain Oliver, a way to overcome anxiety or get past battle trauma.

He starts with basic facts, his own name, his home town, his family (even if he hadn’t seen them for years), focusing on them and repeating them until he feels tentatively anchored to reality again. Then he opens up his eyes and gradually takes in his surroundings. He sees the tall trees, the moon high in the sky, the stars, Kimberly next to him. He draws in great breaths, taking in the smell of the cool, crisp night air, the slightly damp earth. He runs his fingers over the rough wood beneath him, his own pant legs. Every new piece of solid reality was a comfort to him, something else to remind him of who and where he was, that it wasn’t an illusion.

After about an hour, he no longer feels like a million tiny insects are crawling through his brain ripping out his worst nightmares and parading them around behind his eyes. Normally, he’d give himself more time. The woman had disassembled his mind less than a day ago, and it could take days if not weeks to fully recover from, but he doesn’t think he has the luxury of being idle for that long. His memories are a jumble, but he knows something incredibly dire has happened and that he needs to be at least present enough to help figure out what the hell they’re going to do now.

Carefully, he starts trying to piece together what happened the night before. It’s painful, because it brings his mind back to _that woman_ but he’s anchored enough now that he can push through the flash of terror that hits him at the thought of her. It’s almost useless anyway, because even after cobbling together all he can, he still doesn’t have a full picture. He’d been barely coherent when they’d dropped him in the cart, and he only recalls flashes of images and sounds: Kim and Rita confronting one another, a strange force that had knocked him back and flared the demons in his head, Kimberly’s anguished voice, the growling of a wolf.

More recent events are slightly clearer: Zack joining them, Kimberly telling him that they were cursed by the _her_ and that Trini is now a wolf (Jason thinks he’s misheard this, but something about the fact that her voice almost breaks when she says it… and the fact that he then becomes aware of the presence of a giant wolf in the cart with him tells him it isn’t outside the realm of possibility), Kim crawling into the back of the wagon after abruptly handing the reins over to Zack, leaning her head back to stare at the trees and stars above them as the wolf had curled up next to her like it was trying to comfort her.

It’s been silent since then, Zack too stunned to ask follow up questions, Kimberly not volunteering any further information.

Jason turns towards Kim. She’s staring at the wolf, lost in thought.  “Kimberly…?” he says, tentatively. His throat feels like its filled with, raspy and dry, and his voice comes out barely sounding like it belongs to him.

Her head whips around so fast he’s worried she’s going to hurt herself, and she makes a noise between a gasp and a sob, relief flooding across her face and filling her voice as she says, “Oh my God… Jason…”  Then she throws her arms around his neck. He returns the embrace, the familiarity of her driving some more of the demons from his head. She’s clinging to him tightly, her face buried in his neck, and he can feel her tears on his skin, although when she speaks, her voice is steady, “I’m so glad you’re… _you_ again. I thought she’d…”  she trails off, unwilling to speak the words out loud.

Jason laughs a little, soft and sad, “I thought she had too,” he draws back a little so he can look her in the eye. The tears are falling freely, but she barely seems to notice them. This clearly isn’t the first time she’s wept tonight. “I’m not close to perfect but I’m well enough.”

She nods, eyes searching his face as if trying to memorize it. He does the same, because there’s a part of him that still thinks she might disappear if he stops looking at her. After a moment, she shifts slightly, pulling her arms from around his neck. She settles with her back against the cart, but then leans her head on his shoulder. The wolf huffs slightly at all the movement and settles back into her side. Kim ruffles the fur on its neck, then leaves her hand there. They sit in silence for a moment, then she says, her voice tentative, “How much do you remember?”

He shakes his head, “Bits and pieces. Enough to know it was bad.”

A bitter laugh escapes Kimberly, “Bad is an understatement,” she sighs, and then turns to Zack, “You both need to understand what Trini and I are up against.”

“It’s not just the two of you,” says Zack, “It’s all of us,” he grins back at Jason, “Hey, Cap.”

Jason finds himself smiling back, finding some comfort in the fact that Zack’s perpetually good attitude hasn’t been completely smothered by what’s happened. “Hello, Taylor.”

“Maybe you should call me Zack since it looks like we’re going to be fugitives together and all.”

Jason feels Kimberly tense against his arm, as he replies, “Indeed.”

Kim shakes her head, “You should probably hear the full story before you decide to embark on this grand and glorious adventure.”  Then she takes a deep breath and tells them everything.

**

They reach Zack’s mother’s house not long after Kim finishes the story. It’s a cozy looking cabin in the middle of a clearing in the forested hills. As Zack slides down from the seat to knock on the door, Jason scrambles out of the back of the cart and stretches out his stiff muscles.

He’s been mulling over Kimberly’s story in his head ever since she finished telling it. He spent part of that time wrapping his only tentatively repaired mind around all the awful, unnatural things that _that woman_ had done to get what she wanted, and the other part examining the wolf. It wasn’t that he didn’t believe Kimberly about who the wolf was (it seemed impossible, but then so had what _she_ had done to him), it was just that, although the creature was bigger than any wolf he’d ever heard of, he couldn’t see anything human in it. Although, admittedly, he hadn’t looked deeply into its eyes or seen it do much of anything except lie next to Kimberly, seemingly half asleep. The simple of it was difficult to comprehend.

Kim had fallen silent as soon as she’d finished telling the story. She had seemed almost to be reliving it as she said the words, and by the time it was done, her hands had been shaking and she'd been crying, although it had seemed as if she hadn't even notice her own tears. She’d spent the last part of the journey staring either straight ahead with a faraway look in her eyes, or at the wolf with an unreadable expression on her face, withdrawn and silent. Neither of the boys had pushed her to interact.

Madam Taylor comes down the stairs of her cabin and greets them warmly as they slide out of the back of the cart. She’s a little shorter than Kim, her straight black hair shot through with gray, her face lined but not as much as he would’ve expected for someone old enough to be Zack’s mother. Her eyes are almond shaped and dark brown, almost black. There is an air about her of calm competence. She smiles and bows to them slightly, “Welcome. I'm Li Taylor, Zachary's mother. He's explained some of what's happened and who you are. You are free to stay here as long as you need. ”

Kimberly shakes off her melancholy for a moment and puts on her aristocrats’ face, and smiles politely, although it doesn't reach her eyes, “Thank you, Madam Taylor. We appreciate your generosity."

The older woman looks at her knowingly, “No need to stand on ceremony with me, certainly not in this situation.”

The mask falls, but a hint of a smile remains, genuine this time. She huffs a small, soft laugh, “Well I suppose my etiquette teachers might forgive me some informality. This is not a scenario they ever taught me how to handle.”

“Indeed not,” Madam Taylor looks to Zack, “You can put the cart and horses in the barn with Hundan. The supplies you can bring inside.”

Zack nods and hops up into the seat again, driving the horses around the small cabin to where Jason assumes the barn is. Once they’re gone, the wolf trots up and stands next to Kimberly. Kim looks down at the wolf fondly, but then frowns, her expression going blank again.

Madam Taylor examines the wolf carefully and then looks at Jason, “Come, let's go inside. I’ve stew from dinner and possibly even some ale.”

Jason smiles, “Thank you, ma’am.”

They follow her to the cabin, and she holds the door open for them. When the wolf trots in, she makes no move to stop her.

Madam Taylor (“please call me Li”), is the model of efficiency. She gestures for them to make themselves at home, and then sets about preparing them all plates of food. She drops a large, gristly bone in front of the wolf, who starts chewing on it vigorously. The food is good, Jason thinks all of them needed it.

When they’re through eating, Zack begins tells his mother what happened, going into more detail than Jason thinks is entirely wise, but she takes it in stride, simply nodding thoughtfully. At some point in the middle of the story, Kimberly rises from the table and goes to sit in the corner of the room, near the wolf. It abandons its thoroughly chewed bone moves to rest its head in her lap. When Zack finishes, Madam Taylor just nods. She doesn't question a single aspect of the story, simply looks at Jason, a wry smile on her face. "You seem somewhat vexed, Captain."

Jason feels his cheeks heating up. He hadn't realized his surprise at her reaction had been so clearly written on his face, “No. Not... vexed. Not really. I suppose I just… expected you to be a bit more taken aback.”

She shrugs, “I have always had an affinity for such things. My mother was quite adept with them. I’m not nearly as proficient as she was, but I have made sure to educate myself as much as I can on such matters. It is good to be able to recognize such things for what they are.” She speaks of magic in the same way Kim said Rita had, as though it was simply a fact of life.

“Affinity? You can sense… unnatural forces?”

“I can sense magic to a degree. In and of itself it is not unnatural,” she says, “There is a bit of magic in just about everything in the natural world. In the past, almost all people were able to tap into these forces. Not all magic is inherently evil. Some can be, and some is twisted by people like your Madam de Repoussant. There are other places in the world where people still actively practice the arts, but here… things are a bit less open.”

“Does that mean you knew about… her?”

She shakes her head, her mouth a grim line, “Not specifically. I know the history of these lands, that the elder forces have always been stronger here than other places, and I have occasionally felt flares of power, flashes of dark forces to the east. They have intensified of late, but I wasn’t close enough to them to trace them to a specific source and I had no real reason to try. Such flashes happen sometimes, a part of the natural cycle. I assumed the protections on this land would keep them in check.”

Zack leans forward, “You never told me about this stuff, ma.”

She smiles, “You never sat still long enough to learn much of anything. More to the point, I didn’t know that you would ever need to know. You were going to be under the protection of the Harts after all.”

Jason tilts his head, “The Harts have some special protection?”

“The Harts _are_ a sort of protection,” he sighs, “Perhaps it will be best to start at the beginning. A thousand years ago, a great evil tried to invade our world from the nether dimensions. Lady Kimberly’s ancestors fought it back and contained it with the help of the local spirits.”

Jason knows his expression must be one of naked disbelief, but Zack glances at him and says, “You really think that’s more unbelievable than what just happened, Cap?”

“You’re talking about… demons. From hell… ancient forces…” Jason shakes his head.

Madam Taylor’s face is grim, “Hell is something men constructed so they could pretend such inexplicable forces could be contained, that if you were good enough you would never have to face them. But the truth is that the elder forces, both good and bad, are ever present. There are places all over the world where the dimensional veil is weak and they can enter our world. These places must be protected by people who are connected to the land, as the Harts are connected to theirs. The connection is passed from one generation to the next. Because of the ancient invasion, the Hart family’s connection to the land is even more intense than that of other guardian clans."

Zack's face is grim, "I guess that tells us why Rita wanted control of the land..."

Madam Taylor nods, “When the elder forces invaded, they came through a gateway between their realm and ours in the Eastern part of the territory. When they were defeated, the gateway was blocked with a deposit of crystals that were particularly sensitive to magical enchantments. The ancient texts call them zeo crystals. The crystals were then buried under tons of earth, and a fortress was built on top of and around them. Today that fortress houses the Eastern garrison of Lady Kimberly's army.

"Over the decades, the knowledge of the zeo crystals faded into obscurity, until even the Harts no longer passed the stories on. Lady Kimberly's father probably didn't know what the crystals were or even that they existed. All that was passed on to him by his father, all that he would have passed on to Lady Kimberly, is that the Eastern Fortress is to be held at all times by any means, and that no one was ever to mine there, even though there are rich veins of ore all over the surrounding hills.

"With control of the Hart family lands, Rita can now clear that fortress of soldiers and begin mining for the crystals. If the legends are to be believed, the crystals are buried deep and were fused together, making them incredibly difficult to gather. However, given enough time, magic and manpower, Rita could conceivably do it. If gathers enough crystals, she can enhance her own powers and she conceivably take control of the elder forces linked to these lands. If managed that, she could conquer all of Europe. Or destroy it. And she would only grow more powerful. Eventually, the world would be at her feet.”

“God,” Jason mutters, “No wonder she was willing to bide her time for so long.” He turns it over in his head, trying to make his battered brain take it all in, see it from all angles.

“Why didn’t she just kill Kimberly? Or imprison her? " Jason glances back at where Kim is curled up in the corner, her eyes distant and staring, her hand still on the wolf’s neck. For its part the wolf (he still can’t believe this creature is the silent, angry, fiercely loyal girl they knew) simply looks vigilant. It knows she’s upset and hasn’t strayed from her side since they arrived. Jason can’t tell what Kim is thinking and that her silence is beginning to concern him.

“I suspect there’s some truth in the reasons she gave. She didn’t want to deal with maintaining control as a conqueror, or have to put up with the rebellions that Lady Kimberly would’ve been a focal point for if she were imprisoned, not when she has more pressing matters to deal with. However, there are things I suspect she is concealing from you.

“Kimberly is the last living Hart. Killing her would remove the protections on the land that are keeping the elder forces contained. Madam de Repoussant is powerful, and has spent centuries becoming so, but even she cannot be certain of controlling all of those forces all at once, at least not right now. This way, she can mine the crystals, build her own power, then force open gaps in the protections, taking control of the elder forces connected to the land gradually. By this method, she will eventually become so powerful that the protections won’t matter, but for now, she needs what Kimberly’s life is providing.”

It shouldn't have surprised him that Rita hadn't mentioned this. She was far too devious to let such a weakness slip. “But why this?” he tilts his head towards Kim and the wolf ( _Trini,_ he reminds himself), “This is...” he doesn’t even have the words to describe how cruel it is, “She could have just exiled her. Kimberly had made that blood oath to hand it all over willingly, Rita had made it clear what would happen if she were to return. Rita had all she wanted.”

 “There is not always a reason for such things. Rita sounds exactly like the kind of spiteful person who takes pleasure in the pain of others.”

Zack has a thoughtful look on his face, “Ma, what would happen to the curse if Rita died?”

“A curse this powerful, cast in the way that Lady Kimberly described to you, is likely connected directly to the life force and magic of the one who placed it.”

“So if she died, it would disappear?” Jason asks, hope in his voice.

“If she is as skilled a sorceress as she seems, it’s far more likely that she designed the curse to become permanent if she dies. They’d remain in this cycle forever.”

“It's a safeguard against one of them coming back and trying to kill her,” Zack says, “Rita probably knows that the likelihood of that is high. And they'd have to kill Rita to get rid of her, because she'd never surrender and no prison could hold her.”

Jason nods grimly. He thinks he knows where Zack is going with this. “But neither of them would do it if they knew it would make the curse permanent. They wouldn't do it to one another." And he knows both he and Zack care too much about the girls to let them do something stupid and noble if it would leave the curse in place.

“It is a most devious curse. Meant to inflict pain of the worst sort,” Madam Taylor sighs, “I have read of it, though I have never seen it performed before.”

“Is there any way to break it? I mean, without trapping them?”

“I am no expert on curse breaking, but I can check my books,” she looks at them critically, “You should sleep. You all look exhausted.”

Jason isn’t sure exactly how much sleep he’s going to be able to get at this point. He feels as though he’s been awake for days, and he knows that he will have to be awake at sunrise to see if what Rita has said about what will happen to Kimberly is true, to witness it with his own eyes.

He’s also certain that moving forward is the only way he can avoid thinking about his own responsibility for all of this...

**

Somehow, he manages two hours of broken sleep, but it's haunted by dreams of being lured away from Kimberly’s door and confronted by the grisly ghost of Captain Oliver, whose gaping throat wheezes "failure" over and over again. It's Zack who shakes him awake and tells him that it’s almost sunrise.

Jason walks over to Kim and the wolf. They haven’t really moved but at some point, they’ve both fallen asleep. The wolf is curled up on one side, and Kimberly is nestled next to her, with her head pillowed on the wolf’s neck where her hand had been resting earlier that night. Her brow is furrowed, even in sleep.

The wolf stirs when Jason approaches, becoming almost instantly alert. It raises its head and narrows its yellow eyes at him, a low rumble starting in its throat. Jason slows, putting his hands up. He remembers what Kim had said, that when they were animals, they would be more intelligent, but not truly themselves. The wolf knows Kimberly, but he’s not sure how much she knows about anything else.

Jason maintains steady eye contact with her, makes his voice low, soothing. “I’m not going to hurt her. I don’t know if you remember me, but know that I would never hurt her. I just need to wake her up.”

Another tense moment goes by as the wolf examines him, and he thinks that he sees some stirring of something human deep in its eyes, something that he almost recognizes as Trini, something that recognizes him. Finally, the wolf relaxes, the tension leaving it, and she lowers her snout and nudges Kimberly’s head with it gently.

Jason takes the last few steps and crouches down next to them. Kim stirs, disoriented, and when she sees him, he can see that, for a moment, she doesn’t remember what happened. Her eyes are just tired and a little confused at first. Then, as he watches, the memory of last nights’ events (has it only been one night?) and what happened return and her face falls into the terrible hopelessness of the night before.

She looks at Jason and then turns to the wolf, who seems to sense her mood and tilts its head at her almost curiously.

Jason runs his hand through his hair, sighing, “If what _she_ said is true, we should probably go outside.”

Kimberly winces as if in pain, and a heavy sort of resignation settles on her face as she slowly stands up. She still hasn’t said anything since they entered the cabin, and her eyes are red rimmed and empty as she walks towards the door and out into the pre-dawn chill of the clearing in front of Madam Taylor’s cabin.

She looks up at the sky. The moon is still bright, and the sky is still dark, but the trees are tall here, and Jason knows that the horizon is probably lightening already. Zack follows them out, solemn and unsmiling.

“I always liked the sunrise,” Kim says so quietly that it takes Jason a moment to realize she’s speaking, her voice hoarse, “I like the way that the sky lightens slowly, washing away the darkness. It always felt comforting, as though no matter how bad things got, there was still the certainty of this.”

She looks down at the wolf, and her jaw trembles slightly. “Sometimes we’d watch it together, you know. There wasn’t always time, but…” her voice breaks. Jason feels her grief radiating off her in waves, and it makes his chest heavy. He feels a lump in his throat, and tries to tamp it down..

Kimberly looks at him, and when he meets her eyes, he sees some of the strength that had drained away in the last few hours returning. Her voice is steady and commanding when she speaks, “Promise me you won’t let her do anything stupid. This may all be hopeless, and I may deserve it for all that I did, but… don’t let her throw her life away. I know she’ll want to go after _her_ ,” she shakes her head, “But I can’t lose her not even when we're... like this.”

Jason doesn’t trust himself to speak, just nods once, hoping that whatever’s in his eyes will communicate his seriousness.

Her gaze shifts to Zack, who’s standing just behind Jason, looking down at the wolf with sad eyes. “You too, Zack, I want your word.”

Zack looks up at her, “You have it.” For once, he’s solemn, serious.

Satisfied, Kim lets out a deep breath and looks up at the sky again. None of them know exactly how this is going to work. All Rita said was "from sunrise to sunset". They didn’t know if that meant when the sun begins to crest the horizon or when it clears it. They assume the change will be instant, just as it was when it happened to Trini earlier.

The truth is different. And so much worse.

They can only sense the sun’s position based on the way the sky is getting lighter, but Jason knows the second it begins cresting the horizon because the wolf… changes. It’s a strange and uncomfortable looking stretching and morphing of one form into another, and he feels that his already battered mind must lack the capacity to take it all in because one moment she’s a large dark brown wolf and the next she’s a confused, disoriented and very naked girl. She’s lying on the ground where the wolf had been standing, and she’s shaking her head as though she’s just woken up from a bad dream.

“ _Santa mierde, que diablos_ …” she looks around, and notes her nakedness, the boys trying to avert their eyes, their unfamiliar surroundings, Zack’s mother hurrying over to drape a blanket over her… and finally, Kimberly, standing over her and staring at her, shocked.

Kimberly… who’s still entirely human. There’s a look of astonishment and hope in her eyes, “Oh my God,” she says, “maybe she was lying…” and darts forward, obviously intending to pull Trini into her arms. But the moment she makes contact with the other girl, they both cry out in pain, Kimberly retracting her hand as if she’s been burned.

Jason’s eyes widen as he sees that she _has_ been. The palm of her hand is angry and red, the skin irritated. She stares at it, the hope on her face crumbling into dust as she realizes that she can’t touch Trini. “No…” she breathes. Her anguish is the final part of the curse: they can see each other but never long enough to matter and they can never touch.

Trini has staggered to her feet, Zack stepping forward to help his mother support her. She’s disoriented, obviously still not quite entirely herself. “Kim… _que esta_ …” she shakes her head, “…what’s going on?  I had the weirdest dream.”

Before she can reply, Kim changes. It’s exactly like Trini’s transformation, sudden and bizarre. One moment she’s standing there, hand still reaching towards Trini, tears in her eyes, the next there’s a falcon perched rather majestically in front of them, talons digging into a crumpled pile of Kimberly’s clothing.

Trini's mouth drops open as she stares at the bird, eyes wide. The hawk looks at them with dark eyes. Jason tries to see something of his friend in those eyes or the tilt of its head. It’s a large bird, almost two feet tall standing, and he imagines that its wingspan is impressive. Like the wolf, there's an aura of not-quite-animal intelligence about it, if not complete awareness.

The sun has risen above the trees by the time the falcon spreads its wings, takes off into the air with a cry and circles the clearing twice before coming to rest on Trini’s shoulder (its talons digging in in a way Jason thinks must be painful, although Trini doesn’t so much as flinch) and bumping its head on her cheek.

Trini still looks like she’s been hit over the head with something heavy. She stares at the bird as well as she can when it’s right next to her face. Jason has never really been able to read Trini, she’s always so closed off, but right now her face is as open as he’s ever seen it, and there are more emotions flooding across her face and through her eyes than he can properly track.

The girl has always been a realist, and she’s never been one for meaningless talk. She doesn’t waste any time with protesting or yelling or questioning what she just saw. She processes it all quickly, without a word to any of them, and when she’s done her face settles into an expression of aching sadness and longing as she raises her right hand, which is shaking slightly, to run it over the bird’s head and down its sleek back. The falcon reacts by almost preening under her touch and bumping her face again.

Trini and the falcon stand like this for several more minutes, and Jason begins to feel like he’s intruding. He’d expected anger, confusion, and all he’s getting is a sort of hopeless resignation, like the worst is always what she’d suspected might happen.

Finally, she says, quietly, “You oughta go eat or something, I’m sure you’re hungry.” Her eyes are still resigned, but her tone is soft and affectionate. The bird cocks its head at her and then takes off from her shoulder. Trini watches it go, tracking it until it’s out of sight. There’s a long moment of silence in the clearing, broken only by the falcon calling out again.

Finally, Trini turns to Jason and says, low and gruff,  “Clothes and food first. Then you’re going to tell me what the fuck is going on.”

**

Madam Taylor is closer to Trini’s height than Kim is, so Trini ends up borrowing some clothes from her, a simple pair of loose brown pants and a roughspun white shirt. She sits down at the table and eats the food Madam Taylor puts in front of her as Jason, sitting across from her, and explains everything.

She eats methodically, drinks the tea Madam Taylor gives her, and doesn’t ask him any questions. She finishes her meal halfway through the story then sits and looks at him while he finishes. She looks more like he’s used to now, expression neutral shading towards vaguely hostile, eyes giving away nothing. Her expression breaks only once, when Jason describes the curse and Kimberly’s reaction to it. She closes her eyes and her mouth tightens just slightly. When she opens them again, the emotion is gone.

When he finishes, wrapping up with what they’d learned about the curse and about Rita from Madam Taylor, she takes a deep breath and exhales it very slowly. She runs a hand over her face, mutters, “Well, _fuck_ ,” under her breath then looks back at him, her expression weary, “Thanks for telling me, Cap.”

She stands up and looks to Madam Taylor, “And thank you for the meal, ma’am. I wonder if there’s a place I can rest. I’m pretty tired.”

Madam Taylor nods, “Of course, dear.”

The two of them stand up. Trini glances at Jason and sees the look on his face. She frowns at him, “What?”

For some reason, the question, the truly baffled somewhat defensive way she asks it, pisses him off. “I just told you that you’ll never really see Kimberly again, that Rita cursed you to live apart forever. Don’t you even _care?_ ” Jason doesn’t mean to say it, at least not in that way, but he’s tired, the full truth of their current situation hasn’t fully settled, and the lingering effects of what Rita did to him seem to have rattled his normal filters.

Zack frowns, “Cap...” he mutters warningly, putting his hand on Jason’s shoulder.

Jason regrets the question even more when he looks up at Trini. Her eyes are narrowed and furious, her fists are clenched, and her jaw is tensed. The last time he saw her this angry, Tyler Fleming lost a tooth. “ _Fuck_ you, _Captain_. Don’t try to dictate to me how I should show my fucking emotions. I love her more than you can possibly comprehend, so you can take your self righteous indignation and shove it right up your ass.”

“T…" Zack says wearily, "he didn’t mean it. We’re all tired…”

“I’m sorry,” Trini’s tone is unyielding, her eyes boring into Jason, “Has a whole night of being able to interact with the love of my life in a way that you can actually remember exhausted you?"

Jason looks away, unable to handle the intensity of her gaze anymore, “I’m sorry,” he says, ashamed of himself for opening his big mouth and making the most difficult day of her life even worse. He had seen how Trini had looked at that falcon. He _knew_ this was affecting her, “I didn’t… think. I didn’t mean it.”

Trini glares at him for a moment longer before dropping her eyes to the table and breathing in and out deeply a half dozen times. When she looks back at him, the anger is gone, and there’s apology in her eyes as well, “Yeah well, we’re all a little edgy. I know you did what you could. And that you took it from that bitch like we all did.” The right side of her mouth curls slightly, almost a sardonic smile, “See, this is why I wanted to rest.”

He nods, still feeling guilty, “We probably all should.”

She turns again to go, and is almost to the back hallway that leads to the bedrooms when she turns back to look at him and says, “Good things don’t happen to me, Cap. She was it, she was the _only_ good thing that I ever had, and I knew that it would all disappear someday. Maybe not so fucking dramatically, but I knew one day she wouldn’t be mine anymore. So yeah, I’m angry at what happened, I want to tear that green eyed bitch’s heart out and stuff it down her throat. But letting anger dictate my actions won’t do any of us any good. What good does crying and screaming about the injustice of it do? It won’t change it.”

It’s probably the most she’s ever said to him all at once, and there’s a part of him that almost feels privileged that she feels that he deserves such a detailed explanation. He nods in acknowledgement. She gives him a curt nod back, and then lets herself be led to  the back where Madam Taylor puts her in Zack’s old room.

Later, Jason pauses outside the door, intending to check on her, and he hears the sound of weeping. Not just crying, but heaving, heart rending sobs. It’s the way a person weeps when their heart has been broken. Jason wishes that he could go in and comfort her, but she would never accept it, at least not from him. So he turns away from the door and walks quietly back down the hall, leaving her alone with her grief.

**

It had taken every ounce of self-control Trini had not to burst into tears on the first time that damn bird had looked at her with those wide dark eyes. Somehow, she’d known instantly that the damn thing was Kimberly. She may not have fully understood what had happened (one minute that fucking Repoussant woman was beating the shit out of her so hard she blacked out… the next she was waking up after the world’s most disorienting dream naked and cold), but she knew it was bad.

Some instinct told her that she would never see or touch Kimberly again in any way that really mattered, and the thought of it almost smothered her.  She couldn’t think or speak or do anything except stare at the bird, the place where Kim had last touched her still burning sharply. The shock hadn’t had a chance to wear off when the damn falcon flew up and perched on her shoulder. Its talons were digging in, but not as much as they might have, the hawk showing care that no true animal would have.

The urge to scream and cry and run back to kill Rita ran through her as she'd stroked the falcon's back. But unlike the others, she had ample experience processing tragedy. Letting it render you mute and paralyzed was a good way to get overwhelmed and get yourself killed. So she’d remained as calm as she could.

She’d held it together while Jason had gone over the story, only breaking once or twice, and she could sense, even as he was telling the story, that Jason didn’t understand her lack of reaction. Zack knew her well enough that he realized she’d processed the worst of it right after Kim had first morphed, but Jason had never really understood her. He evidently thought that just because she wasn’t clawing her eyes out and screaming at the heavens, she wasn’t devastated. She wasn’t exactly proud of snapping at him, but he had deserved it.

Normally she wouldn’t have bothered explaining herself any further, but she had the feeling the man was going to be around for at least a while, and it could only be helpful for him to know. She’d explained herself in as much detail as she could stomach giving anyone who wasn’t Kim, accepted his stolid nod of understanding, and then followed Madam Taylor to the bedroom.

Once the door is closed, she collapses onto the bed, fully intending to sleep. However, in the quiet stillness of the bedroom, the sun peeking past the well-worn curtains (the sun Kimberly would never see again), her mind won’t stop working. It only takes about five minutes for the full weight of all that’s happened to settle heavily into her chest. Out of sight of everyone else, she finally lets the grief and anger and realization that she’d never so much as shake Kimberly’s hand hit her full force, and she cries in a way she hasn’t since her parents died and she was left with nothing at age eight. She cries for everything they’ve lost and for her own stupidity for allowing herself to feel this way in the first place.

She knows that if she’d simply had the strength to resist Kimberly the night she’d come to her in the stables, if she’d done the right thing and refused to give in, it’s possible that none of this would have happened. She had allowed herself to become Kimberly’s biggest weakness, and as a result, they had both lost everything.

But even as she thinks it, she recognizes it’s too late now. That she would never leave Kimberly, even if everything is hopeless. As long as she still drew breath, she would protect Kimberly Hart with everything she had, no matter what form either of them was wearing.

**

Just after noon, Jason is reading one of her books about medicinal uses of herbs (he’d managed to catch another hour or two of sleep, but was still haunted by nightmares of Rita… he wondered how long that was going to last), and tells him that she might have found something.

Jason and Zack sit at the table. Madam Taylor places bowls of stew and mugs of tea in front of them. Jason is about to ask whether they should wait to discuss this until Trini was awake, when the girl emerges from the back room looking a lot like someone who’s been crying uncontrollably for five hours. She sees them all sitting at the table looking purposeful and, more importantly, with bowls of food in front of them, and walks over to them, the look on her face discouraging any questions about how she is.

As they eat, Madam Taylor gestures to a large leather bound book she’s placed on the table. It’s all in Chinese, but the page she has it open to features a woodcut illustration of what looks like a wizard of some sort being confronted by a man and what looks like a very large monkey, “This is a rare curse, I can find very few references to it at all, but I think there may be some hope.”

“It’s been broken before?” asks Jason.

“No, or at least if it has, it hasn't been documented,” Madam Taylor gestures to the book, “But I think there is a way it can be done and both you,” she addresses Trini directly, “and Lady Kimberly can stay human. Firstly, one of you _must_ kill her,” says Madam Taylor, “This is clear and steadfast. If she dies another way, the curse cannot be broken. Secondly, and this is the trickier part, you must both be human when she dies.”

Trini frowns, “Impossible. That’s fucking impossible. Except for that two minutes it takes the sun to rise and it’s never going to happen”

“There must be a way…” Jason says, placating.

“There’s not!” Trini snaps, “It’s pointless to waste time talking about something that’s never going to happen.”

“This all just happened, T,” says Zack, solemnly, “We can’t just give up on it so soon.”

Trini is silent. It’s obvious she didn’t sleep and she’s even more raw and on edge than they are. She may hide it better, but he’d heard her crying. It wasn’t the sound of someone who had sat down and thought about things rationally. His own mind was still reeling, and this was just throwing everything off kilter again. What Madam Taylor was suggesting didn’t seem possible, but then neither did anything that had happened in the last day and a half.

“Look, we need time to absorb all of this, mull it over a little. Maybe we’ll be able to talk about it more clearly then.”

Zack nods, “Sounds good.”

Trini looks at them both and sighs. “Why are you even here?” her tone isn’t angry,  just drained, and laced with genuine curiosity, “This isn’t your problem. Kim and I…” her voice cracks on Kimberly’s name, but she shakes her head hard, almost like she’s angry with herself for breaking even a little in front of them, “We’re the ones have to deal with this. Not you.”

“If you think I’m abandoning you now, you really are crazy, T,” Zack says, not offering any further rationale. Trini glares at him for a long moment, but he stands his ground. Jason thinks she's going to say something else, but she just turns away and shakes her head.

“ _Loco idiota_ ,” she growls, then she turns to Jason, “And you, golden boy… you just tagging along cause you got nothing better to do now your Captain is dead and you’re unemployed? I’m sure a big guy like you could get plenty of work stabbing people for money.”

Jason knows she’s tired and defensive, and feeling generally awful about everything, but he’s still stung by her tone. He tries to tamp down his impulse to snap. “I don’t abandon my friends,” he says.

“Oh we’re friends now?” her voice is dripping with bitter sarcasm.

“I was talking about Zack,” he replies. For a moment she looks surprised, and then she gives him just the tiniest ghost of a smile.

“Your funeral…” they’re all silent then, but Jason knows that the matter has been decided. None of them are going anywhere.

They’re almost done eating when Jason says, “How long will it take her?”

They all look at him, “What?” asks Zack.

Jason looks to Zack’s mother, “You said earlier that Ri-- _she’ll_ eventually become powerful enough to handle the forces on her own. How long?”

“It depends on how powerful she already is, and if the curse is any indication, she is very powerful indeed. She’ll still need to mine the crystals and control the power gradually… I would say as little as two or three years.”

Jason grimaces, “And then?”

“Kimberly becomes expendable,” mutters Trini darkly.

There doesn’t seem to be anything more to say after that.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: [while sitting and actually editing this chapter approximately an hour ago] "hey this is gonna be the last chapter in the past! cool, now I can get back to the present and start setting up the finale... UNLESS..." [comes up with idea which will add at least one more past chapter] "plotting things out in advance? feh, who needs that! this story wouldn't be rapidly headed for 100k words if you PLOTTED things out you fool!" ah well, best laid plans of mice and men (wolves and falcons?)...
> 
> anyway, let me know what you thought if you'd like (hopefully the Exposition part made sense). you can find me on tumblr, same place as all the other chapters said to... 
> 
> Also, credit where it’s due, I shamelessly took the idea of Jason using things he knows for certain to cling to reality from Hunger Games (won’t say specifically where cause spoilers...? i guess?)


	9. Part III - the past (chapter 7 - finale)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> a relaxing few days in town...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I thought this one was going to be kind of short. Oops. I’m legit worried it kind of reads like filler, but it was filler I enjoyed writing so oh well and hopefully it’ll be filler you enjoy reading lol. Enjoy!

part III - the past (chapter 7 - finale)

**

They spend a week with Madam Taylor, recovering, trying to get used to the new reality of their lives. Eventually, both girls prove far too stubborn to roll over and give entirely into fate. They’re both angry and upset and heartbroken, and the looks on their faces when they see one another briefly at sunrise and sunset (the exact time varies, seemingly based on their willpower and moods, but it’s never more than four minutes) make Jason want to cry himself, but they decide that they won’t let Rita take away their lives entirely.

“I’m not going to just sit here and bury my head in the sand,” Kimberly tells him fiercely on the second night, after they explain to her what Madam Taylor told them about the curse, “If there’s even the barest possibility we can do this, then I want to try. And besides, I won’t let her get powerful enough to do what she wants. If we can break the curse and both stay human, I’ll do it, but if I have to I’ll stop her by any means possible.”

Jason thinks that perhaps this is getting ahead of themselves, since _she_ is a powerful sorceress who now has all the authority of Kimberly’s title and lands behind her, and they are four exiled teenagers who have nothing but the clothes on their backs, a cart, and a pair of very old horses that Trini has found she can’t even go near as a human (when she’d found that all horses, even Madam Taylor’s old gray mare Hundan, shied away from her in horror, she'd looked nearly as devastated as she had when she’d seen Kim disappear).

However, he’s happy to see Kimberly finally get a little of her old fire back, so he just nods.

After a week passes, they agree that they can’t impose on Zack’s mother anymore. Although she hasn’t said as much, they know they’re probably straining her limited resources (even though Trini and Kim have learned that if they eat as animals they don’t need as much as humans). She insists that they stay another week at least, so they can prepare themselves to leave properly. Jason agrees, knowing that she’d let them stay forever if she could.

She also gives them all of Zack’s father’s old armor and weapons. They may not be able to use all of it, but it’s well made and would be good to sell. They try to refuse the gift, but she won’t hear it. “I don’t need it. I have my own ways of defending myself should the need arise. Besides, his father would have wanted to Zack to have it, so it’s his to do with as he pleases.”

Zack gives Jason his father’s longsword, which has been in his family for seven generations. Jason tries to refuse, but Zack just shrugs and says, “We both know you’re hundred times the swordsman I’ll ever be,” he picks up a hatchet from the wood pile they’re standing near and tosses it  up and down with practiced ease, “Besides, I like smaller, sneakier weapons better.” Jason concedes then. When he straps the sword belt around his waist and feels the sword's solid weight hanging off his hip, he feels more like himself than he has since _she_ had gotten ahold of his mind.

In addition to the sword, Zack’s father had an impressive collection of knives. When Trini sees them she grins wickedly and begins testing their weight carefully. There’s also a longbow, which has always been Kimberly’s favorite weapon. She hasn’t been keeping up as religiously with her training in the past couple years, but she was always an excellent marksman and Jason doesn’t think such skills would fade.

For lack of anything better to do, they spend most of their idle hours that second week training out in the clearing in front of the cabin. Jason finds that Zack and Trini are more refined than when he first trained them, but have a lot of room for improvement. Kimberly is still as good as ever, if a little rusty, and spends long hours shooting arrows into the trees around the clearing in addition to the sparring. The training sessions help them all clear their heads and keep their minds off the situation at hand.

(He also notices that Trini seems stronger and Kimberly seems faster than they had before. It could be simply that they've improved since he last trained with them, but Jason think that perhaps the added power is a side effect of the curse. If their minds are more human as animals, it doesn’t seem outside of the realm of possibility that their bodies could be more fit as humans.)

When the day finally comes for them to depart, Madam Taylor gives them enough food and tea to keep them going for a couple of days. She can’t help them with clothing, but she does give them a small satchel full of healing herbs and bandages and one of her small handwritten journals with instructions on how to use them.

She also gives them the name of a merchant on the other side of the border who she says they can trust implicitly, “Tell him I sent you. He’ll give you a fair price for any of the weapons and armor you don’t want to use, and he’ll help you with other supplies.”

Out of an instinct for self-preservation, Jason insists they leave at night. _She_ had said that she would not pursue them, but given her penchant for bending her own rules, he doesn’t trust her promises (he can barely stand to think of her, and just the thought her name sends a shudder through him).

The only problem with travelling by night is the wolf. The falcon is easy enough to disguise (no one will associate her with them if she simply flies high enough), but the wolf is huge and almost impossible to conceal. Kim has taken to talking to it in conversational tones, as if it will understand her, and most of the time it actually seems to. At the very least, it responds to her commands. It lingers near Kimberly, and when it’s not in her presence, it always seems to know where she is. It’s no more than neutral towards Zack and Jason, but if it thinks they’ve upset Kim, it growls at them. Jason is afraid that if someone even looks at Kimberly wrong, it’ll jump on them or worse.

They’ve worked out a routine for the sunrise and sunset transformations. Whichever one of them is human will retreat behind the house with the one who is an animal and a pile of clothing. They’ll change, have their too brief moment of mutual humanity in private, and then dress before re-emerging. On the night of their departure, Kimberly emerges from behind the house adjusting her belt and carrying Trini’s clothes under one arm, the wolf loping along beside her. She puts the clothes in the cart then turns to Jason with a grim look on her face.

He sighs. Evidently she intends to continue the argument they had been having the night before (thankfully Trini had stayed relatively silent about it all day; she just wants to do what will keep everyone safest). He decides to try to bring her up short with decisiveness, “We can’t walk into town with a bloody great wolf at our sides.”

And of course it doesn't work, “I won’t leave her behind.”

“We aren’t ‘leaving her behind’! She’s a _wolf_ , Kimberly, one that seems particularly attuned to your presence. She’ll be able to find you again.”

“I _won't_ leave her behind,” Kimberly repeats, this time drawing herself up to her full height and adding some real authority to her voice. Though she’s still six inches shorter than him, he can feel the command in the words and he has to resist the urge to bow. Sometimes he forgets who she is.

He sighs. He could continue to argue, but he knows it would be useless. Kimberly is the most stubborn person he's ever met and it’s really only been a fortnight since her life was turned upside down, even if it seems like much more time has passed. Both she and Trini are still like raw nerves when it comes to one another, and they can’t stand to be separated for long, “Fine. But she has to stay concealed.”

Kimberly gives him a final, haughty look that is _all_ noblewoman, and turns away without another word. She goes over to where the wolf has been sitting a couple feet away, watching them with half lidded yellow eyes. The girl crouches next to the wolf and leans her head down next to its ear, whispering to it. He doesn’t know what she says, but when they get ready to leave, the wolf leaps up into the back of the sparsely packed cart and allows Kim to lay a large blanket over it. It’s not a great disguise, but it should work for as long as they need.

Madam Taylor comes out to bid them farewell. Zack hugs her tightly and they have a hushed conversation in Chinese before she ruffles his hair and he gets up onto the bench and takes the reins. Kimberly hugs her as well, “Thank you for everything. I can’t tell you how grateful we are.”

“Your father who was always generous to me, this is the least I can do.”

Kimberly gets into the back of the cart next to the barely concealed animal, which rests its head on her lap immediately. Jason turns to Madam Taylor and tries to shake her hand. She pushes it away and pulls him into a hug as well. He pats her back stiffly and says, “Thank you, Madam…”

“Li,” she corrects, “and you’re welcome,” she pats the satchel at his hip, “Don’t forget to study that book I gave you. It might save your life someday.”

“I will… Li.”

She lets him go and he climbs up on the bench with Zack. They’re all wearing cloaks Madam Taylor has given them and they raise their hoods as they head out of the clearing

**

The merchant Zack’s mother has directed them to is a craggy faced old ex-soldier named Zordon. He lives in a small market town called Noyer Blanc. It’s across the valley from the forested hill Madam Taylor lives on, situated by a bend in the river. They arrive just as town’s chapel bell is tolling ten. The moonlit streets are still relatively crowded and they do their best not to look as nervous and jumpy as they are as they make their way through the streets.

Kimberly’s anxiety about being in a crowd for the first time since everything happened combined with being cooped up in the cart is making the wolf restless, and Kim is whispering to it to keep it from growling. The animals in the street are reacting to its presence, skittish and nervous, causing their owners to look around for the source of the problem. Jason frowns back at Kim who glares in return, even though she’s mentally making a note to allow her to roam a little when they’re in areas between towns to keep her from building up too much nervous energy.

She's finally getting comfortable with the idea of the wolf. She knows that it isn't truly _her_ Trini. Jason has told her that Trini never remembers anything in the morning, which frustrates her immensely. It’s something Kim can relate to; all she can recall of her own days are flashes of sound and light, feelings and impressions that seem to soar away when she tries to catch them. But she feels a connection to the wolf on some fundamental level, and she knows for certain it can understand her when she speaks to it even if Jason is skeptical. It acts enough like Trini and cares enough about her that Kim is willing to blur the lines a bit, especially if this is all she would ever have of her again.

Thankfully, Zordon’s shop isn’t far from the town’s gates. It’s just off the main road, down a dimly lit side street near the river. The shop is around a slight bend, well concealed from the main street, so Kim brings the wolf down with her when she gets out of the back of the cart. The shop is still open, and they walk through the door, wolf and all.

Zordon is standing behind the counter, a large book open in front of him. He’s in his mid-fifties, with a craggy, weathered face, a bald head and a goatee that is dark brown shot through with gray. There’s a nasty looking scar on his right cheek and his right eye is milky white and staring.  He looks up as they enter and takes them in carefully.

Zack steps forward, “My name is Zack Taylor. I think you know my mother.”

The old man takes a moment with that, and then a slow grin spreads across his face, “Li Beifong's boy hm? You’re a lot bigger than last time I saw you,” he limps around the counter and comes to stand in front of them, “And you’ve brought friends?”

The wolf has placed herself in front of Kimberly, but doesn’t seem to feel that Zordon is an immediate threat, even when he approaches her, so Kim figures he must be all right. He examines her face for a long moment and then bows slightly, “Lady Kimberly.”

Kim furrows her brow. She considers denying it but Madam Taylor said he could be trusted, and the wolf's not trying to tear his throat out so… “I was. I’m not really anymore.”

“Yes, we’ve heard,” he says, frowning, “You look just like your mother. I was sorry to hear about what happened.”

Kim nods, giving him a tight smile. She doesn’t speak for fear she’ll start crying. She’s been trying to keep her emotions in check. She’d resolved after that first night that she wouldn’t let this defeat them, especially after she’d learned there was still a chance to break the curse. She had to focus on that or she’d crumble again. She clears her throat and gestures to Jason, "This is Jason Scott, captain of my personal guard… when I still had one."

Zordon straightens his spine and shakes Jason's hand firmly, "Always nice to meet a fellow Hart man." Kim sees Jason's spine stiffen slightly at that. They haven't really talked about it, but Kimberly has gathered that thinks he's somehow responsible for what's happened. Which is absurd, because she is the one who made the bargain and consigned them to all of this… she’d like to correct him then and there, but she doesn’t really feel like arguing the point in front of a stranger.

Despite the fact the wolf seems to trust him, she's wary of just how casually the old man is acting. He's now leaning against the counter, arms crossed over his chest, expressing not the least curiosity about why Lady Kimberly Hart and her captain of the guard have shown up at his doorstep in the dead of night, wearing worn black cloaks and accompanied by a huge wolf. He is, in fact, being far freer with information than would seem warranted, speaking to them as if they were friends he’s been expecting for a long time, amiable and open.

"I served with Lord Hart's army at the same time as your father, Zack," he gestures to a battered shield and sword hung on the wall behind the counter. The shield is painted in the Hart colors, though the paint is now chipped and faded with age, the hilt of the impressive looking sword is wrapped in red leather. "Lucian was my best friend, as a matter of fact. He convinced me to go with Lord Hart on his journey to the east, although he was only Sir Theodore then. They both came back with wives, while I came back with one eye. Not quite fair, I think,” he chuckles softly.

Something about being near someone who knew his parents then, who saw them fall in love before her father inherited the title and responsibilities, makes her heart ache. Thinking of them young and in love causes the pain of both their deaths and her own lost chance at true happiness to flare up, and suddenly she feels desperate for him to stop talking. There was a time when she would've loved to hear stories of them as young people, maybe there will be again, but right now, everything is too fresh, and all it will make her think of is everything that she has done wrong in the past half year.

The wolf senses her upset and moves closer to her, nudging her hand. Kimberly sinks it into the soft fur and then looks at Jason with an almost desperate glint in her eye. Jason gets the message and steps forward, "It was indeed an honor to serve Lord Hart. Unfortunately, we were... separated from that service rather hastily and we have need of some supplies and equipment. We have some things we can offer in trade."

The old soldier examines him carefully, still with a small smile on his face, "I'm an old fashioned sort of man, Captain Scott, I don't like to start a negotiation until I've been formally introduced to everyone I'm to be dealing with."

Jason glances over at Kim, his brow furrowed, then back at Zordon. "You've... met all of us, sir," he says, trying not to sound too thrown and attempting to keep his eyes from darting to the wolf.

Not that it matters, because Zordon looks straight at it, "I haven’t met her."

The wolf looks up at him, tilting her head curiously. He bends over slightly and extends his hand to her. She trots up to him and sniffs it before allowing him to stroke her head. They all stare, gaping. Kimberly was the only one the wolf had taken to immediately. It had taken Zack a week to get her to let him touch her, and Jason hasn’t even tried it yet. She's had her fill of the attention after about twenty seconds, shaking her head almost impatiently to dislodge his hand and huffing before going back to settle down on her haunches next to Kimberly.

Zordon raises his eyebrow at them, "Is she that averse to attention when she's a human?"

Kimberly tenses, narrowing her eyes. Jason's hand travels to the hilt of his sword. "What did you say?"

He puts his hands up, placating, and his tone is calming, "I mean no offense."

"I'm not offended," says Kimberly, her voice cool, "I'm suspicious. What makes you think the wolf is a person?"

"I can see it."

"What?"

"When I was in the Far East, I learned how to... see things that were outside of normal perception. I can see she's not entirely a wolf," he raises an eyebrow at Kimberly, "And I can see that you're not entirely human. I don't know how or why, but I know that it is the truth."

There is a long, pregnant silence. Zordon is quiet, standing with his hands held out in front of him, palms out as though to reassure them he means them no harm. They all examine him carefully. Kimberly can see nothing in his face that indicates he intends them any harm. If he did, she's sure the wolf would be at his throat in a second, but she not only seems to have no issues with him, she had actually approached him.

"And you have no problem with that?"

"There’s nothing wrong with being a bit beyond human,” he says with a slight shrug, “I have seen malevolent magical creatures before, I know how they act and what their energy looks like. You're certainly not like them," none of them know what to say to that. The old man smiles patiently, "Although you still haven't introduced us."

Jason and Zack both look at Kim, evidently deciding silently that this should be her decision. Kimberly studies Zordon for another long moment before saying, "Trini," it's the first time she's referred to the wolf by Trini's name, at least out loud. It's been so hard for her to consciously acknowledge the truth of it, even though she's essentially treating the wolf like that's who she is. Something about speaking it makes it even more real, and her breath hitches for a moment before settling. "Her name is Trini."

Zordon addresses the wolf, "Nice to meet you."

The wolf just blinks at him slowly, then huffs at him.

The old man looks at Jason and Kimberly, " _Now_ we can get down to business."

**

He welcomes them as cordially as Zack’s mother had. He gives them a dinner of bread and meat stew and even has a whole venison steak that he tosses to the wolf, who gobbles it down happily. He seems to trust them implicitly based solely on his knowledge of Zack and Kimberly’s parents.

After dinner, they bring in the shitty supplies Rita had given them along with the armor and weapons they had decided they could part with. He tells them he'll take all of it, even the moth eaten tents and blankets Rita had supplied them with. His shop sells supplies to travelers and soldiers, so he has a large variety of useful equipment. He selects supplies of actual quality for them, including canvas tents, an iron cookpot, some flints to start fires with, and clothing that actually comes close to fitting. The clothes are utilitarian, meant for soldiers and workmen, but they’re sturdily made and new.

Kimberly makes sure to get protective gear for Trini’s wrist, hand and shoulder where she had been evidently been punching holes in her with her talons (of course Trini hadn’t complained, and the hawk had always been as gentle as it could, but sharp talons were sharp talons). Zordon doesn’t have proper falconer’s equipment, but he has leather armor pieces, and thick leather gloves, and they’ll work fine at least for the moment.

They know Zordon is lying when he says the equipment he's approximately same value as what they’ve brought to trade him, but they’re in no position to refuse generosity. All they can do is try to make sure he doesn't give them more than they absolutely require.

After he's made a list of all the equipment they're taking, Zordon offers to let them stay the night. The entire building belongs to him, evidently inherited from his wife, and there are three floors of empty rooms above. "It's after midnight now, and the gates will be closed anyway. Getting out would be something of an ordeal. Besides, it will take some time to pack all this equipment properly, and I would like to talk to the horse trader down by the river. He would probably be willing to take those nags off your hands, maybe even shore up that wagon some."

Kimberly hesitates by instinct, but then remembers that he knows about them and doesn't seem to care. Then she shrugs. It's not like it will change anything.

**

Jason wakes just after dawn the following day. He hasn't been able to get more than a few hours of sleep at a time since _that woman_ disassembled his brain. He's haunted by the images of what happened that night, both real and imagined, as well as constant visions of his father, Captain Oliver, even Kimberly telling him that he's failed them. It doesn't help that he feels like he has to make sure both Kimberly and Trini are all right, which means he's up half the night with Kimberly and then has to be around at sunrise to ensure the change has gone all right.

He isn't sure when he unconsciously started thinking of himself as the person who's making sure everyone else is okay. He supposes it has to do with his years learning under Captain Oliver, and his natural instinct to command any given situation. No one else seems to mind (Trini might, but she never says much about it), and it keeps his mind from dwelling on his more egregious failures.

When he gets downstairs, he finds Zack and Zordon sitting at the dining table where they'd taken their dinner, talking and eating some sort of porridge. Zordon is reminiscing about the expedition where Lucian Taylor met and fell in love with Li Beifong, and Zack is listening raptly.

Trini is sitting at the end of the table with the hawk on one shoulder, a small smile on her face as she feeds it small pieces of some identifiable pink meat Zordon must have supplied her with. The falcon seems quite content, although he knows it'll probably want to actually hunt later. From the quality of the light coming through the window, he figures it hasn't been long since they changed. Some mornings the hawk just flies off after briefly bumping Trini's cheek, others it'll stay around. He hasn't been able to figure out any sort of pattern, but it probably has something to do with Kimberly's mood before she changes.

(Zordon seems entirely unbothered by the fact that a girl he's never met and a large falcon he's never seen have appeared in his house. Zack tells Jason later that when Trini had come downstairs with the bird perched on her now-gloved left hand, Zordon had simply smiled wryly and said, "It's nice to meet you in the flesh, as it were," and shaken her hand. Trini had looked astonished for about half a minute, then punched Zack on the shoulder and told him to get her some porridge because one of her hands was already occupied.)

They all look up and greet Jason with varying degrees of enthusiasm. Zordon serves him a bowl of porridge before sitting back down and continuing his story, which he's evidently just begun.

"We were just young men when we marched off, all of us. Lucian was eager for adventure. I was a little older, already married, a bit more reluctant, but he talked me into it. We stayed in China, in India. Sir Theodore was always eager to learn new things. He thought knowledge would make him a better Lord. The journey was full of hardships, as are all long trips, but also full of wonders. For the most part, things were relatively peaceful.

“We met Lady Hart in India. Her father was local royalty and we stayed with him for nearly a month. They spent most of that month together. When we departed for China, he promised to come back for her. They were already in love then. Her father didn’t like it particularly, but she was his fourth daughter, not exactly a prize for anyone else and Sir Theodore could be very convincing. We traveled for six months through China and then headed back, intending to pick up Lady Hart.

"It was on this return trip through China that we encountered real trouble. We were attacked by some bandits going through one of the mountain passes. I was injured so severely I couldn’t go on," he gestures to his face, "As luck would have it, there was a monastery nearby and the monks there said they could heal me. Lord Hart had to get back to France, so he took most of the group and moved on. Lucian and a couple of others volunteered to stay with me," he glances at Zack, "Li was a young acolyte there, learning the healing arts and studying what you would call magic, or at least how to recognize it.

"It took me nearly a year to recover enough to travel. The monks used techniques I'd never heard of, did things I’d never seen. It wasn’t even magic, not the way we understand it, but it seemed so. I had been convinced I would never walk again, but they made it happen. In that year, I had a lot of time on my hands. I wasn't sleeping well, so I spent a considerable amount of time in their libraries," he glances around at them, "I read about incredible things, and then I asked if the monks if they were real. When they said they were, I asked to learn some of them. They were peaceful men, so they knew only how to harness the elder forces for good. They taught their healing techniques, and tried to teach me a little about how to harness the elder forces."

Jason frowns, "You know... how to use magic?"

“Not very well, I’m not very attuned to those forces. But I did become very well acquainted with their healing techniques. I'm no miracle worker, but I know a bit about how to deal with diseases and poisons. I can make wounds that might certainly be fatal into something that has a chance to be healed," He looks at Zack, "I saved your father's life that way once."

"So that's why you weren't surprised by..." Jason gestures to where Trini is now reclined in her chair with her eyes closed and her feet up on the table. The hawk has moved to her shoulder and is surveying them with curious, imperious eyes. Usually about this time it would sleep for a bit, or go out hunting, but it seems just as intrigued by Zordon as the rest of them.

Zordon looks at falcon and nods, "That's right," he sighs, "But I think you know that my reaction isn’t a typical one. You'll never be able to settle anywhere for long, not really. People are naturally suspicious, especially in these lands, with the bishop’s and his men always breathing down their necks. Any new arrival is scrutinized, and once _odd_ things started happening you'd have to leave."

Trini cracks an eye and glares at him, "As if we weren't already thrilled enough at the situation..."

Jason frowns, "If we were discreet enough I don't see why it would be such a problem."

"You can't possibly be that naive, Cap," Trini says, raising an eyebrow. "He’s right. Different means dangerous and any hint of it can make people twitchy.”

"As long as we kept the... morphing... out of public sight and were sure to have a place for you to roam at night..."

Trini scoffs in disbelief, opening her eyes and removing her feet from the table, her boots hitting the ground with a solid thunk. The falcon looks indignant at the sudden movement, but she doesn’t leave Trini’s shoulder. "You think I'm talking about the magic bullshit? I mean, that'll get 'em to fire up the bonfire pretty fast, but nah, it's not even that," her expression is fierce now, eyes flashing. Jason hasn't seen her get like this about anything except Kimberly.

"I'm talking about the fact I'm a girl who doesn't want to wear a dress and flounce around with my damn knitting swooning over men, and Zack just looks _different_. Hell, they'd even probably give Kim shit even if she acted the perfect lady because she looks 'foreign'. That's not even getting into the fact that a woman travelling with two men who probably aren't her relatives will cause a stir. Magic animals or not, the minute we _walked_ into any town we'd catch everyone's eye. If we actually tried to live there?" she shakes her head.

"I just don't think it would be that bad..."

"That's because you've never had to live on the streets of a city where you don’t look like you belong, where people track you with their eyes because they just don't trust who you are," the way she says it, the way her eyes look haunted for a split second, tells Jason that she's speaking from experience. He suddenly realizes how little he knows about her. Kimberly never told him much except that Trini had started service with her father when she was eight, and Trini has certainly never said anything about it. In fact, even as she finishes speaking now, she shuts her mouth and grimaces, seeming to realize she’s said too much.

She leans back in her chair again, dislodging the falcon slightly. Again, the bird hangs on, but this time it doesn’t seem upset about it, it just looks at Trini, tilting its head slightly. She looks back at it, and sighs, stroking its head and feeding it another piece of meat. “Sorry,” she says, but directs the word solely at the hawk. It nips her on the ear affectionately and settles down again.

Zack breaks in smoothly, taking attention of Trini. Jason can almost sense her relief, "And if we lived in a city or town, we'd have to find rooms somewhere. That costs money, and we’re not exactly well equipped to make any, especially if we're always moving around."

Jason frowns into his bowl. The more they talk and the more he thinks about it, the more he realizes that, as bad as things have been, they've been living in a bit of a bubble. First Madam Taylor and now Zordon have been accepting, understanding and generous. Even the years he's spent with Lord Hart were an illusion. Lord Hart was a good man and a generous one, not all men are so kind. And even those who are sympathetic are likely to like Madam Taylor: willing to help but lacking resources. It doesn’t help that Noyer Blanc is in territory controlled by the Bishop, who rules even over the rightful lord, and he is unyielding in all things.

He runs a hand through his hair and sighs. They're all silent until the hawk nips at Trini's finger gently and makes a noise that almost sounds inquisitive. Trini looks at the bird and nods, "Yeah guess you don't want to be cooped up all day, gotta get the sun on your feathers and all." She stands and the falcon moves to perch on her left hand. Trini wanders over to the window. She glances at Zordon, "Think anyone will notice?"

"Perhaps, but I'm known in this neighborhood. No one will bother me, at least not about this."

Trini nods and pushes the window open. The falcon takes off from her arm and soars off in search of something more substantial than scraps. Trini watches her until she's out of sight and then turns back to the table, slumping into her chair, her face its usual blank now that the bird is gone.

Zordon looks at them sympathetically. "I spent years on campaign, sometimes living quite rough, especially on my way back home from China with your parents, Zack. There are some things I can teach you. I can't tell you everything, and there are decisions you will have to make for yourself, but I can give you the basics."

They look at each other. Trini gives a small shrug. Zack looks over at Zordon, "We don't want to impose..."

"Nonsense. Your father was my best friend, and Lord Hart was a great man. Helping their children is the least I can do after all they did for me," he gives them all a shrewd look, "And, I think perhaps it would be good for you to know a little about some of the healing techniques I learned in the Far East. They’d probably be more effective if I could tap into the elder forces but..."

"I've about had my fill of the elder forces," muttered Trini.

"I imagine you have," he says solemnly, "Please, let me help you."

Jason sighs and nods. None of them knew when the next time they'd see a friendly face would be. Best to take advantage of any generosity they could get.

**

Zordon doesn’t open his shop that day. He spends the rest of the morning describing some of the healing techniques he learned in the Far East while the four of them bundle up the supplies he's going to be giving them, while they listen with varying degrees of interest. He shows Jason several books he brought back, all comprehensively illustrated and entirely written in Chinese. Zordon offers to translate the more complicated passages into a smaller book they can carry with them and Zack says he’ll help with the transcription.

Once the supplies are packed, Trini goes upstairs to sleep (any rest she gets in her other form doesn't ever seem to translate to her time as a human, so she seems perpetually exhausted), while the others go to the horse stables in town. Zordon has known the man who owns the stables for nearly thirty years, and manages to convince him to trade them a pair of horses that Zack says are sturdy and healthy for their old nags, plus a promise of credit at Zordon's shop. The man also allows Zack to use his tools to fix up the cart. It only takes him an hour to complete all the repairs he can, which he assures them will keep the thing going for a good long while as long as they're careful. He even lets them store the horses and cart at the stables so they won't be sitting in the alley in front of Zordon's shop for another night.

When they return, Trini is awake, sitting at the table and reading a book, and the hawk has returned from wherever she flew off to, and seems content for the moment just perching on various surfaces around the room watching them all keenly. As the afternoon wears on, it even sleeps for awhile, planted in front of Trini at the table, beak tucked into its wing.

After a modest lunch, Zack gets a start translating the parts of the healing guides Zordon has marked as most important, while Jason talks more with Zordon. The man is a tremendous repository of useful knowledge, and Trini finds herself joining them to listen in as he discusses not just more about the healing techniques, but about living off the land and even tactics in a fight, some of which he demonstrates for them later in the small training yard out behind his house.

It's a quiet day, and they’re all reasonably occupied. For a few stretches, Jason almost feels normal.

He's reading one of Zordon's books, an account of a soldier on campaign, when Trini sighs deeply and stands up. The hawk is already perched on her shoulder and seems entirely unbothered by Trini's moving around, simply looking at all of them rather haughtily. Trini gives Jason a mock salute, claps Zack on the shoulder, and says, "See you tomorrow," to Zordon before disappearing up the stairs to go turn into a giant wolf.

So much for normality.

**

They don't really talk when they see each other, not usually. The time is too short, and what is there to say? Trini was never one for empty words anyway. They know how they feel about one another, they now that right now everything sucks. They know that fact of being able to see one another is no blessing, that it has made their separation into a festering wound that's never allowed to fully heal, but is never bad enough to actually kill them.

So there's nothing for Kim to do but look at Trini long enough to ascertain she's alive and unhurt before the wolf appears again in front of her. She loves the wolf, truly, but god sometimes she fucking _hates_ the wolf.

Tonight is different somehow. After she comes back to herself and shakes off the usual disorientation (there's always a minute or so where her brain still feels like it's light and... avian, for lack of a better word, where she has an inexplicable desire to soar off across the countryside looking for small vermin to devour), she can feel the tension in the room. She looks up at Trini, who's always in her direct line of sight, and the look on her face is devastating, full of longing and regret and all the things that they've been trying to hide from one another when they wake up like this.

The resignation they'd felt, the one that keeps them silent, also means they have an unspoken, mutual agreement to try to be strong, to bear up and not show just how awful they're both feeling about this. It goes without saying that they're not happy about it. But it's a different thing to see it, especially from Trini who's always trying to protect her.

Kim feels a surge of frustration over not _fucking_ remembering what might have happened during the day that caused Trini to look like that. Trini sees how upset she is and shakes her head, seeming to realize how she must have looked, "Shit, sorry..."

"Don't be sorry," Kimberly puts her hand out, then pulls it back just as quickly, remembering, even as Trini instinctively leans forward. The frustration shades to anger, at herself, at the situation, at that green eyed bitch. It's the most basic thing in the world, being there for someone you love, being able to comfort them, and she can't even _fucking_ do that. "God damn it," she mutters, "This... I want..."

Trini opens her mouth to speak, then pulls up abruptly. Kimberly knows she can feel the change coming on. She also knows that she could fight it a little, buy another minute, they've both figured out a little in the last couple weeks, but Trini just closes her eyes, says, "Me too," so softly Kimberly can barely hear it and then starts to morph. Kim closes her eyes. She hates watching it. Not just because it looks painful and unnatural (even if it doesn't actually hurt), but because it means Trini is leaving.

Kim's eyes screw shut tighter, and her fists clench reflexively as she tries to bite down on the irritation that's rising up fast, bringing with it a flood of regrets and recrimination and loathing that are directed mostly at herself these days. She doesn't want to start the night like this, she wants to try to make the most of the part of the day when she can actually comprehend her surroundings.

She's been _trying_ for two weeks now. She's told Jason that she doesn't want to let Rita win, that she'll keep fighting to try to find a way to break the curse and kill her. And it was true. It's still true, but that determination is a way to get through the day, to power through so she won't have to stop and dwell on her fucked up situation and how responsible she is for it. It's hasn't been that long, true hopelessness (the deep aching kind) hasn't really set in, so most days it's all right.

Since that first night she hadn't given in to the sort of black hole of dark thoughts that she had been prone to spiraling into even before all of this. Back then, she'd had her parents, she'd had Trini to help her through it, and it had never gotten so bad she couldn't manage it, but now... Jason is sweet and Zack is funny, but they're both dealing with their change in circumstances and most importantly neither of them is Trini.

She feels a wet nose judge at her cheek and a soft whine in her ears and she opens her eyes to see the wolf's face close, its eyes radiating concern. Tears start to well in her eyes as she looks at the wolf. She puts her hand on its head, strokes back towards its ears. It whines a little more, nudges her again. She shifts over and hugs it tightly around the neck, whispers, "I wish you were really her," softly into its ear in Spanish. The wolf just nuzzles closer. In moments like these, she can almost think of the wolf as her, as the girl she loves so much she would do _anything_ for her, even endure this soul searing pain on the off chance that she might be able to restore a full life to her.

But she knows it's an illusion. Rita made it clear. This is not Trini, not _truly_. She sighs and releases the wolf. Almost instantly she feels the darkness start to push at the back of her mind, a piece of grit irritating rubbing against everything she thinks. She sets her mouth in a grim line as she dresses, trying to keep it at bay. As she fastens her sword belt and sheathes the short sword Zordon had given her, she looks down at the wolf, "Come on," she says, unable to keep the bitterness out of her voice, "Let's go make the most out of the goddamn night."

**

Jason knows it's going to be a rough night when Kimberly charges down the stairs with a thunderous expression on her face and the wolf at her heels, storms to halt in front of where he's been sitting trying to read and says, anger boiling just beneath the surface of her words, "What the hell did you do to Trini?"

Zordon and Zack, who'd been over by the counter working on transcribing the medical texts, look up and frown, concerned. Even the wolf looks vaguely concerned. Jason keeps his tone calm, placating, "We didn't do anything to her, Kimberly. What's..."

"She looked devastated this morning, Jason, like all that hope we'd been trying to cling to had been snatched away from her."

Jason tries to think of what Trini had been like, but she'd been her usual blank slate for most of the day unless the hawk was hovering around her, "I don’t know. You know she's like a closed book that only you can pry open..." This is evidently the wrong thing to say. A brief look of pure desolation passes over her face before she manages to cover it over with annoyance. Trini may be unreadable, but not Kimberly, "Kim, I'm sorry..."

"Sorry for what?" she snaps, making a sharp, dismissive gesture, as though her own feelings are entirely irrelevant, "Now what the fuck went on last night?"

"We were just discussing the future. We were going to tell you as well, obviously. We just.... we realized we're not going to be able to settle anywhere. Big towns are too cramped for her," he looks at the wolf, "Small ones don't offer enough anonymity, and people in both are bound to catch on to something odd if we stay too long anyway. We talked about having to camp out, live off the land when we could. But it's fine. I can hunt, Zack and Trini can take care of the horses and repair the cart. If we run into trouble, we all know how to fight. It will be okay."

Kimberly stares at him for so long he begins to wonder if she's going to respond at all. "No wonder she was so upset,” she mutters to herself, before raising her voice again, “So my failure means that Trini will never have a real home again. That none of you will. No wonder she was so upset."

Jason frowns, "That's not what I meant! You didn't... Kimberly..."

Before he can finish, she's bolted from the room, out the back door into the walled training yard that Zordon has set up so people can test his weapons. It's not huge, but there's a full sized sparring ring, some benches, weapons racks and targets, and a full complement of straw men to practice on if there's no opponent to fight. Jason throws another look at Zack and Zordon and then follows her out.

Kim has drawn her sword and is slicing one of them to bits. Jason notes distantly that, even as enraged as she seems to be, her technique is flawless. The wolf is pacing anxiously near her, whining a little. It looks at him when he enters the yard, and he thinks it's almost pleading and maybe even a little frustrated, but perhaps he's just reading things that aren't there.

He stops as near to her as he can without being in striking distance of the sword, "Kim... this isn't your failure."

Kim laughs, bitter and mirthless and deals the straw man a vicious blow to the side, before spinning away and stabbing it in the chest. She backs up, yanking the sword out, squaring herself to the straw man again, not looking at Jason as she speaks, "Don't be foolish, Captain," she growls, mockingly formal, "If I had recognized Rita for what she was I could have stopped it. Hell, if I had seen that Lord Fleming was being controlled or that Tyler was a piece of _shit_ ," at this she deals a hard blow with her sturdy boot to the poor straw man's imaginary groin before spinning her sword up again and taking a chunk out of its neck, "I could have stopped it or at least warned someone about it. Maybe even kept my parents from..." she delivers a lightning quick blow that lops the straw man's head completely off.

" _No one_ saw it coming, Kimberly," Jason says, "She's been planning this for centuries! You can't expect to have recognized..."

"Doesn't stop you from blaming yourself for being lured away from my door, does it?" Kim pins him with an unyielding glare. Her breath is coming hard and fast, there's a sheen of sweat on her face, and her sword is still held at the ready. In that moment she looks both beautiful and entirely murderous. "I've told you a dozen times that you did your duty, that no one could have been expected to do more, that she trapped you in a way you couldn't have suspected. And I tell you that because it's true. Does that make it any better?"

Jason narrows his eyes, "You don't understand. That _was_ my fault."

"It wasn't," Kimberly says, "It was mine. You wouldn't have been in that position if it hadn't been for me. Even if conceded that particular point it doesn't change the fact that I _took_ the deal. That I sacrificed all of us, my legacy, my people, my lands with that _fucking_ oath," she swings the sword around in a blur, embedding it halfway through the straw man's torso. Jason's eyes go slightly wide. She _definitely_ has some sort of enhanced strength and speed.

"And for what?" her voice is ragged now, with exertion and anger and self loathing, "We're cursed to a half life, tied to each other like this forever, never able to touch, only able to remind each other of how goddamn tragic we are. And you..." she turns to him, brandishing the sword, "You're following us around out of some sense of obligation? Why? You should _hate_ me. This isn't your problem. _You_ don't need to be here! You don't think I feel bad enough about ruining her, you think I want to take away your life and everything you could be too?"

He puts his hand on the hilt of his sword. He doesn't think she'll do anything, but he can’t be entirely sure. Anger and grief are powerful things, and she's looking vaguely unhinged. "I'm here because I want to be. Because I've taken an oath to serve you and I don't plan on breaking it."

Another high hysterical laugh, "You don't understand! I'm not _worthy_ of your loyalty!

Jason glares at her, his own temper flaring, "Stop being so selfish!" he snaps. She stops dead, her anger derailed by his tone. He's never spoken to her like that. Her mouth drops open in a way that might be almost comical if he wasn't so upset. "This isn't just about you!"

"I never said it was! I'm trying to..."

"You're trying to torture yourself by telling yourself you're at fault for all of this. Even if that were true, and it is not, we would _still_ be here. Trini wouldn't have left you, curse or no. You accept that so easily, but you don't accept my loyalty..."

"You could have a life, Jason..."

"What life?" he growls, volume rising, "I can't go back to my father, he'll never understand, and who knows if _she'd_ come after me if I were still on your lands. I failed at everything other duty I was charged with. I allowed myself to be captured, I allowed my captain to be killed. My _oath_ to you is all I have left, the only duty I have that can still discharge with honor. And above all that, you are my only true friend. I am not in the habit of abandoning those I care about," he jabs a finger at her, "So stop acting like this is some sort of terrible burden on me."

The force of his anger seems to drain hers. They stand there for a moment, staring at one another, both breathing hard and looking weary. There's silence in the yard, broken only by the wolf, who circles around Kimberly anxiously, still whining. It approaches her cautiously after a moment, nudging at her left hand. For once, Kim doesn't respond right away, still looking at Jason, who can't tell what she's thinking.

Finally, she drops her sword and falls to her knees putting an arm around the wolf's neck and allowing it to try to comfort her. Somehow this just seems to make her even sadder. Jason can see tears sliding down her cheeks. The sight of them cools his temper almost instantly and he walks towards her, crouching in front of her.

He had allowed her to hug him in the cart the night of their exile because they'd both been upset and the circumstances were so extreme, but since then they'd gone back to how they’d treated each other when they were still at the castle. She'd hugged him on extremely rare occasions and he'd never initiated such contact, because friend or no, she was still the lady of his house.

But now, she's just his friend, and she's obviously suffering under the weight of everything that they've all been enduring. She's been trying so hard to be strong since that first night, running off of her own determination not to show weakness. He sighs and tentatively puts an arm on her shoulder.

She looks up at him and gives him a half smile before taking the arm that's not around the wolf and putting it around his neck, pulling him in. Jason goes forward on his knees and they're caught in a semi awkward embrace with the wolf in the middle, nudging both of them.

"I'm sorry," she says hoarsely.

"Stop taking all our burdens on yourself. We've all made our own decisions in this."

There's a moment of hesitation, and he thinks for a second she’s going to protest, but in the end, she just nods against his neck. "I'll try."

They separate and Kim looks over at the training dummy, "I think I owe Zordon a new one of those..."

Jason laughs a little, "I think he'll probably forgive you. Besides, you can probably find a moment sometime tonight to stuff some more cloth with hay,” he stands up and offers her his hand, "Come on. You need to eat some human food, and we need to talk."

She lets him help her up and they walk back towards the house, his arm still around her shoulders, the wolf at her side. He knows that they didn't just solve all their problems in one go, but the storm has passed for now. He can only hope he's assuaged a little of her guilt at least for now. For the moment, it's all he can ask...

**

Zack looks at them warily when they come back in. "Everything all right?" he asks tentatively.

"It's fine," Kimberly says, even managing a small smile. And she does feel a little better. She's gotten some of her frustration out, and although she knows the guilt will roar back at some point, she's alleviated the worst of it. Her head is clear enough now that she can at least attempt to concentrate on the business at hand.

The rest of the night goes better. They tell her what they'd discussed, and she talks to Zordon some about his past, and his experiences. He tells them he'll give them a few of his books so they can look at them. Zack thinks he should only need one more day to transcribe everything. Kim is glad it won't be much longer. As grateful as she is for the roof over their head, she doesn’t like the thought of being a burden to the old soldier.

The other problem is that the wolf is more restless tonight than she was the night before (Kim is beginning to get better at thinking of her as 'she' rather than 'it'). Being restricted to the yard and house is making her a bit moody, and she's snapping at Jason and Zack with less provocation than before. After the third time she almost takes off Jason's hand, they decide decisively that they're going to have to leave as soon as the transcription is done.

Sometime after midnight, the others drift off to sleep. Kimberly retreats to her room, unable to sleep. She reads one of Zordon's books on fighting tactics, which has his detailed notes and annotations in the margins. The wolf curls up next to her, taking up a large portion of the small bed, its head on her lap, and quickly falls asleep.

After a while, she puts the book aside, unable to concentrate on the words, her mind still on her conversation with Jason earlier. He had done what he always did with his solid decency and loyalty: both comforted her and made her feel a bit ashamed for having had such an outburst. They were all suffering. She still felt the guilt, but she knew she couldn't give in to her darkest thoughts. Becoming paralyzed with grief would do none of them any good.

She stands up, being careful not to jostle the wolf too much. She walks over to the polished metal mirror hanging on the wall over the washbasin on the dresser. She stares at herself for a long time. She looks like shit, to put things charitably. There are dark circles under her eyes, and her usually smooth long black hair is a mess. She feels like she's aged a decade in the last two weeks, and thinks she sort of looks it too.

As much as she's changed she still looks fundamentally like she did before, like Lady Kimberly Hart, the girl who was supposed to carry on the Hart family legacy, which included protecting her lands from evil demons from another dimension (she's still wrapping her head around that one; knowing that it's true and fully embracing it are two different things). But that's not who she is anymore, not really.

Whether she succeeds in going back and defeating Rita, breaking the curse or not, it won't change the fact that she lost it all in the first place, that she failed at the one thing she'd been preparing to do for her entire life. She frowns. That's not what she needs to think about when she looks in the mirror. That's not who she needs to _be_ anymore.

She wasn't the same person she was. As soon as she swore that blood oath, she was no longer anyone’s Lady anymore.

Without any conscious thought, she reaches over and takes the dagger from its sheath on the side of her sword belt. Her hair, which she had been braiding at the beginning of every night, is down. She'd been too upset ealier to do anything with it. She takes a large handful of it and pulls it over her shoulder. She holds it taut and then uses the razor sharp dagger to shear through it. She makes quick, rough work of the rest of it.

When she's done, she feels lighter. She looks at herself in the mirror, her hair now rather inexpertly cut just above her shoulder and smiles. She may not be Lady Kimberly anymore, she may never be again, but maybe she can start over and try her best to build herself into something better.

**

Zack finishes his transcription a bit ahead of schedule. With Zordon's help he's gone about twice as fast as he might have otherwise. He wakes Jason up a little before dawn and tells him that they should be able to take off earlier than they thought. Jason breathes a sigh of relief. As much as he's been enjoying his talks with Zordon (he likes the others, but Zordon is a soldier, he understands Jason in a way the others can't), he wants to be gone before nightfall comes again. Another night with the wolf cooped up in the house would be too much for them.

Jason stretches and puts his shirt on. He and Zack walk down the stairs, discussing their plan to go pick up the cart and horses from the stables as soon as Zordon wakes up. When they get to the dining area, they find Kimberly sitting at the table feeding the wolf pieces of salt beef she's taken from their bundle of supplies.

The two boys stop dead at the bottom of the stairs. Kim looks up at them, smiling, her eyes brighter than Jason has seen them in what seems like an eternity. Jason smiles back, almost on instinct, but words fail him. Zack is the one to break the silence, "It suits you, m'lady."

Kim doesn't bother correcting him. He's still not entirely comfortable with calling her by anything other than her title. "Thank you," she says. She looks at Jason, "I thought it was time for a change."

Jason nods, "Zack's right. It suits you."

"I'm glad you think so," she replies. She runs a hand through it, "Although I may have to ask one of you to even it out. A dagger isn't particularly effective for this type of thing, no matter how sharp."

"I can help with that, although..." he looks over at the window, "I'm not sure we'll have time tonight."

She pauses, seeming to feel the oncoming change herself, and nods. “You’re probably right.”

"We'll be on the road tomorrow. Zack is done with the transcription. Zordon says we can take some of his other books, the ones on fighting strategy and such."

"Good. We'll need them," she sighs and stands up. She puts a hand on Jason's shoulder, "I didn’t want to… turn… before I had a chance to tell you thank you. For everything. And tell Zordon I said so as well."

"I will."

She gives Zack a nod, "Good night, Zack,” then she heads upstairs with the wolf.

They watch her disappear and then Jason goes down to start doing a final check of their supplies while Zack, still wearing bemused expression, goes to gather up the notebooks he’s been filling up. Jason smiles a little to himself. It was good to see Kim get her spirits back, and he can only hope it lasts for awhile.

When Trini comes down an hour later, she's wearing her usual dour expression, but she claps him on the arm a bit harder than it seems like someone her size should be able to, and gives him half a smile, though it's touched with a hint of melancholy, "You're a good man, Cap," she says in a voice that sounds like her smile looks. She holds his gaze for a minute, before the hawk, sitting on her left hand, nips her finger good naturedly.

Trini gives it a wry look, "You're so fucking spoiled, princess. You're gonna be sad as hell when we're out of here and Zordon's not supplying you with scraps anymore," she looks at Jason, "Gotta see to her majesty's morning snack."

"We're leaving as soon as we get the wagon packed."

She nods, and heads off to where Zordon stores his food.

Jason looks around the shop. By the end of the day, they'll be on the road, headed away from the only familiar place they had left and into the dark unknown of the uncertain and dangerous future. He'll miss the security here, the comfort of it. Even after two days, it had come to feel comfortable to him. But he supposes comfort was never a realistic possibility for them. From now on, they'll be heading into a future where the only certainty is that they can't stay in any one place for long. So they’ll have to keep moving, with only one another to rely on. It isn’t ideal, but at least they’re all alive, and at least there’s still some hope, no matter how slim. He thinks can work with that. He thinks they all can.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, so that’s a wrap on the past (although there’s plenty of stuff rattling around in my head about what they were up to in the two years between this and when they run into Billy). Next chapter will get back to the future (present?) and lead into the end game, which I’m still thinking should only be two chapters long but… well the past was only supposed to last one chapter and look what happened there. 
> 
> Please ignore the incredibly obvious Legend of Korra reference… when my head isn’t on Trimberly these days it’s on LoK…
> 
> Anyway, please let me know what you think, if you’d like. You can find me on tumblr @ haughts-bulletproofvest talking about all sorts of stuff…


	10. part IV - hope for the impossible

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> back in the present, Billy proposes a solution to their problem and there is much cautious enthusiasm

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, looks like I made a bit of a liar out of myself. I did manage to get some writing done this weekend, despite being pretty busy. It took me awhile to get back into the groove of writing them in the present, so hopefully it works for you. Enjoy!

Part IV - hope for the impossible

**

As Jason is coming to the end of his story, he looks out the window and sees the sun is rising over the tops of the trees. Trini hasn't come out of the back room yet, and he isn't expecting that she will. No one was quite sure what shape either she or the hawk would be in when they changed. Zack is sitting at the kitchen table, having worked off a lot of his tension and cut about five cords of firewood for his mother. He's been drinking tea and listening to Jason's story attentively, as if he hadn't lived it himself.

"Eventually," Jason finishes, "we did try to live in just one place for a little while, but people became suspicious for all the reasons we had feared and so we had to move on. Then Trini got into a bit of trouble with some of the Bishop’s men and he spread the word all around this part of France to be on the lookout for a large wolf and a foreign girl, which has obviously made it even harder to travel. That's why only Zack and I go into towns anymore."

They hear Madam Taylor stirring in the back, and Jason knows she'll check on the girls. He takes a long sip of the water he'd started drinking after the liquor had started making him feel light headed, and clears his throat, which feels dry after all the talking he's done.

Zack leans forward and says, wryly, "In other words, Billy, you've stumbled onto a tragic love story. And now, I'm sorry to say, whether you like it or not, you're lost in it just like the rest of us."

Billy has listened to the story with rapt attention, barely moving from his seat, nodding along, never breaking in to argue or question, even when the subject of magic and elder forces came up. That especially had surprised Jason, given how the boy seemed to be so grounded in the sciences.

Now that he knows the whole story, Jason was expecting Billy to react with outrage at _her_ or sympathy or pity for them. At the very least he'd thought he would be peppered with a million questions that Billy had been saving up. What Jason isn't expecting is for the other boy to spring to his feet and start pacing, muttering to himself quietly and moving his fingers as though he’s weaving a spell of his own.

Jason's not sure what to do, so he just watches quietly. They hadn’t known him for long, but Jason knew Billy had his own way of seeing things, and evidently that extended to the way he took surprising news. Finally, he stops pacing, but his hands are still moving a little as he talks.

“So they can break the curse if they both appear in front of her, as humans, and one of them kills her?”

“Yes. I mean, theoretically," he shrugs, "We haven't exactly had a chance to test it, although we’ve had a bit of time to research. Trini has a book a lot like yours where she’s kept notes on it, but we don’t have vast resources. It’s all about where we can sneak into or what we can steal when we’re briefly in and out of various towns.”

“And they’re only human together at sunrise and sunset.”

“Yes. It can be as many as four or five minutes, but usually its less, sometimes significantly so. It depends on their moods and the time of year. Sometimes even the weather. It's far too unpredictable to make any sort of plan around.”

Billy nods, “Okay. All right that’s… yeah that’s interesting…” he snaps his fingers once and stops moving, frowning, his brow furrowing. And then he looks straight at Jason, “It could work. That could work…”

“What?”

Billy runs to where he left his satchel earlier and pulls out the notebook. He begins flipping through the pages rapidly and with purpose. Finally he finds what he’s looking for and shows it to Jason. It’s columns of numbers and illustrations of moon phases and sun positions and angles and Jason can’t understand a word of it.

“Billy, I don’t…”

“In order for them to be human at the same time the moon and the sun would have to exist at the same time, right? Day becomes night or vice versa.”

Jason’s brow furrows, “Well yes, but...”

In his enthusiasm, Billy interrupts, pointing at the book, “Solar eclipses! The earth and the sun and the moon are positioned in such a way that the moon blocks the light of the sun for a time…”

“We, well Trini, thought that might work too. But there’ve been one or two here since… all of this, and nothing happened. They didn’t last that long, they were unpredictable, and they didn't work. Kimberly stayed how she was for the duration."

Billy flips another page and runs his finger down a column, “Yes, but those weren’t total eclipses. They were only partial. If there were a _total_ eclipse it might work!”

“But they only last a few minutes at a time. We’d be faced with the same problem we are at dawn and dusk…”

“Maybe, but you said that time varies based on a number of factors,” he points at his book, “I was making a study of celestial movements. The next total eclipse is in just three weeks. It's the first one in forty years! I was planning on doing a full study of it, measuring the angles and the duration and seeing how it all matched up to my calculations. I hadn’t figured out exactly how long it would last yet, even though I had pinned down the date and approximate time.”

Jason stares at him, astonished, “How?”

“It’s just… measurements and… and mathematics. I had to track distances and speeds of celestial bodies for a year to even begin to properly calculate things, that's even with a book I had. I didn’t know if I was right until about five years ago, when the partial one I predicted happened which was quite satisfying. I got the duration wrong, but only by about a minute and a half, and then the next one I adjusted my formula and I got it within thirty seconds and…”

Jason stands and puts a gentle hand on the notebook he's holding, stilling him, “Billy… that’s amazing. You’re amazing.”

Billy stops and looks at Jason, seemingly surprised by the compliment. Then a huge smile spread over his face, “Thank you…" he says, quietly, almost bashfully. There's a short moment where they just look at each other, and then Billy turns to his book again, "You think it’ll work? You don’t think maybe I’m just getting ahead of myself, because sometimes my mom says I get ahead of myself and…”

“No. I think it’s the closest thing to a real solution we’ve had in a very long time,” he frowns, “How long did you say we had?”

“Three weeks.”

“Hopefully that’ll be enough time…”

**

Trini comes back to herself and is immediately hit by a wave of anxiety, grief, and frustration, which is always a pretty goddamn spectacular way to start the day. Instinctively, she closes her eyes. She always has to gather herself just after a change, push back the last vestiges of the wolfishness that always seems to linger there. It’s gotten better over time. There was a time when she’d squander minutes, but she’s learned to process it more efficiently (even as she hates the fact that she’s begun to think of this whole thing as routine).

Today it takes longer to prepare herself to face the day. What fleeting bits and pieces she has of her time as the wolf mix with the overwhelming wave of _feelings_ (most prominently devastation) that she’d been consumed by just before she changed. Obviously, the wolf was just as distressed over what had happened as she had been. She tries to center herself, the way Zack has been teaching her to for years. She remembers the falcon getting hurt… but after that, even her human thoughts are something of a blur. She remembers (with a strange mingling of fierce satisfaction and lingering shame) tearing through the bandits who did shot the bird. She remembers getting to Madam Taylor’s, and then more frustration at having to change than she’d felt since the first couple of weeks.

The last she knew Kimberly was lying on Madam Taylor’s table dying. The thought of it makes her feel as though her heart is in a vise, but she'd knows she'd sense it if Kim was dead. The curse had done something to them, linked them together in some strange and fundamental way that neither of them fully understood. They had been so close before, but now it was more than that. Zack has told her that the wolf always knows too, but even as a human, she always has an idea of where Kimberly was, how she's feeling.

Trini opens her eyes slowly and looks around. She can sense she's waited too long and Kim has already changed, and part of her is glad for it. She doesn't know if she can deal with seeing Kim as wan and deathly pale as she had been last night. She’s lying curled up at the foot of the bed in Zack’s old room. As her senses come back, she hears a weak sort of flapping noise, and hears the bird squawking weakly.

Frowning, she sits up. Madam Taylor has left her some clothes on the chair next to the bed, but she ignores them for the moment. Her own state of undress barely phases her anymore. She needs to know that Kimberly is all right. It’s a small bed (the wolf must have just barely fit at the end when Kimberly was in it) so all she needs to do is shift and she can see the falcon, lying in a small nest made up of Kimberly’s nightdress.

She’s clearly not fully healthy, otherwise she would have gotten herself upright already, but she’s alive. A wave of relief sweeps through Trini, drowning out every other feeling in her. She can process all of that later. For the moment, she focuses on the falcon, who is straining towards her weakly but urgently now that she sees Trini is awake.

Trini moves up the bed a little and carefully wraps the bird up in Kim’s nightgown to keep her hurting herself or flailing around too much. “Calm down, princess, I just gotta get dressed and talk to Zack’s mom. Then we can get you fixed right up, okay?”

She's just finished pulling on her pants when there's a soft knock at the door and Madam Taylor enters. "Good morning," she says, "How is our patient?"

"Not a hundred percent, but alive. And I think I have you to thank for that."

"And Jason," the older woman has a roll of bandages in her hand, "It was very serious, but her changing helped. I think with the magic running through your systems, she should be able to fly within the next day or two," she gives Trini a serious look, "But it may take much longer than that for her to be back to full fighting form. I wouldn't recommend even travelling for at least a week. She'll be the same as a human. Today will be the worst day for both of them."

Trini nods. Madam Taylor hugs her, and for once Trini melts into it, her sheer relief at Kimberly being all right and on the mend overwhelming her aversion to this sort of thing. Even so, she starts to squirm a little after a few seconds, and Madam Taylor lets her go and moves over to the bed.

The hawk has gone still since Trini wrapped her up and Madam Taylor unwraps her and carefully examines her. Trini has no idea how the woman knows anything about how to take care of birds, but she believes her when she says, "She'll need to be bandaged, and you have to keep her from flying, at least for today."

Trini helps her wrap some of the bandages around the bird's chest, under the wing and around. When they're done, Madam Taylor provides her with a soft blanket and Trini wraps the falcon up and holds her to her chest. The bird makes a soft noise and strains its head up to meet her cheek, in the old gesture of comfort and affection.

"Uhm," Trini says, grimacing as she hears the emotion thick in her own voice, "I think maybe we'll stay back here for a little while." She doesn't bother trying to come up with a practical reason, but thankfully Madam Taylor doesn't press.

"Of course. Just remember she'll need to eat and drink soon."

And with that, she quietly leaves the room. Trini waits until the door clicks shut, then sits on the bed, with her back to the headboard, and cradles the bird like a baby. "Don't fucking scare me like that again, goddamit..."

It's a whole two minutes before she starts to cry.

**

Trini doesn't emerge from the back room until nearly noon. Zack has finally fallen asleep in his mother's room, and Jason is just waking up from a couple hours sleep. As excited as he'd been about the prospect of having a solution, he'd also been exhausted. It had been the first time he'd told the whole story, and it had been more emotionally draining than he'd thought it would be. Unfortunately, sleep comes no easier to him now than it had right after _she_ had scoured his mind. Some things, it seems, time did not heal.

Jason rubs the sleep out of his eyes and notes that Billy is sitting on the floor in front of the fire with his notebook in front of him. A book he found in Madam Taylor's collection about celestial movements ("It's not as detailed or accurate as the one I have at home, but I think it should help") is on his lap, and a large map of their area of France is spread out in front of him. He's got a quill and an ink well at his side and he's jotting information down in his notebook and marking the map. He's talking quietly to himself while he writes.

Trini walks towards the table and barely seems to take note of either Billy or Jason. The falcon has a linen bandage around its chest and she's carrying it in her arms, wrapped in a blanket. Jason knew the wounds Kim sustained were serious indeed, almost fatal, so it didn't surprise him that the bird hadn't fully healed either, even though usually a night as a human sped the healing process up. It just reminds him how close she came to dying. He gets up and goes about making tea for the two of them as Trini reaches the table.

Trini carefully unwraps the blanket and sets the falcon down gently on the table. It stands but doesn't make much effort to move and it seems tired to him, rubbing its beak against its wing like it wants to curl in and go to sleep. Trini frowns, "You just woke up. Don't fall back asleep until you've at least had some water," she says quietly, getting up and fetching a small bowl of water which she places in front of the falcon.

The bird drinks for awhile and then almost immediately takes a half hearted hop towards Trini. She sighs, "I can't put you on my shoulder when you're like this, your balance is all fucked," she puts the blanket around the falcon's feet and says, "Just sleep here. I promise I won't go anywhere, okay?" The falcon blinks at her for a minute and then gives a half hearted squawk that sounds disappointed. Trini brushes a hand over its head and down its back, "Sorry, princess," she says softly.  The bird just nips at her finger before putting its beak into its wing and going to sleep.

Jason slides the mug of tea in front of Trini and then sits next to her. She pulls it towards her and takes a sip then looks up at him, "Thanks," she says, looking and sounding just as wrecked as she had right before she morphed the previous evening, "And sorry."

"What for?"

"I... feel like wolf me might have done something embarrassing. I just got the impression of..." she turns away, "I dunno... whatever. Just... if I did, I'm sorry."

He puts a hand on her shoulder and smiles gently, "You did what anyone would've done in your situation. No one blames you for being upset, no matter what shape you’re in.”

She meets his eyes for a moment, then looks away, nodding and takes another sip of her tea.

Jason moves his hand back to his tea cup. Even after two years, this is about as far as they go in terms of comfort and emotions. Zack is the one that's more in tune with her moods, but Jason considers it real progress that she even lets him try to comfort her or talks to him about anything at all, given where they started.

Trini glances over to where Billy is studying his notebook now and then flipping through the book to what looks like an illustration of a lunar cycle. "What's all that about?" she asks, able to indulge her curiosity now that she knows Kimberly is taken care of.

"He thinks he might know how to break the curse." Trini sits up straighter, some of her exhaustion seeming to fall away, although her expression is still wary, not quite willing to give up anything to hope just yet. Jason explains the theory much as Billy did, even though he doesn't necessarily understand it completely.

By the time he's done, Trini's expression is intrigued, which is a lot better the stormy and pessimistic glower he’d been half expecting, "Jesus... that's... that could work, I mean I think it could," she looks at Billy, "He knows how to predict the next one?"

"So he says, and I believe him. But we're going to need to come up with a plan, once he does, and in order to actually make it work, we need to know what _she_ is up to, where she is, what kind of progress she's made and how close she is to getting what she wants."

Trini sighs, "I know we will," she grimaces at the thought of _that woman_. "You got any ideas how we're supposed to figure it out?"

"I'm sure Madam Taylor knows a little about that. We haven't really had a chance to talk about current events with... everything that was going on."

She glances at him sidelong, "Yeah. Everything." There's a pregnant pause, her face closes off again. "Did Zack tell you?"

From her tone, Jason knows she’s asking about the bandits who shot Kimberly, "You all right?"

Trini scoffs, "Not really, Cap," she says. She doesn't articulate, but she doesn't have to. She almost lost Kim last night, and killed a dozen men without even giving it a second thought. They'd killed people before, mostly highwaymen who thought they might try to take advantage of them, or the Bishop’s men after the incident with the wolf a year ago. Not often, but when it had happened it had always been because they'd had no choice. Killing the men who’d hurt Kimberly hadn't been necessary. Disabling them would've worked just as well, especially considering that they were just bandits and unlikely to pursue them.

"It's all right, Trini. It is."

"You're always so worried about what I'm gonna do when I'm all wolfed out, and then I go and tear into people like that as myself. I mean, I know they deserved a beat down, but... I lost control. I _felt_ like an animal, pure power and speed and..." she shakes her head, and glances at him sidelong, "Upside, it's the fastest and strongest I've ever felt as a human..."

Jason is considering whether to press further, but the choice is made for him when Billy rushes over, holding the map and his book, saying, "I think I've got it."

Trini looks relieved at the interruption, focusing on a tangible action rather than feelings has always been easier for her. Her face takes on the same curious look it had when Billy showed her his notebook for the first time, "Jason told me about your theory. So the reason it didn't work before was because it wasn't a total eclipse?"

Billy nods, “Yeah. I think the total one will work. From what I’ve read, day becomes night. It’s supposedly quite an experience.”

“What about the duration?”

“Well, I can figure it all within a few minutes, but if we’re actually near her, even if we don’t know exactly how long it will be or what we have to do…”

Trini gestures for Billy to sit, “You wanna sit? I want to look over those calculations. I’ve never seen it done like that before.”

Billy grins, pleased that she’s interested, “Okay.” He slides into the seat next to her and puts the notebook in front of her. Then he spreads out the map and the book he was reading and starts going over the whole process, gesturing with his hands and pointing things out, all while taking care not to disturb the falcon, who is still sleeping in the center of all the paper.

Jason smiles slightly at the keen look on Trini’s face, happy that she has something else to concentrate on, then he goes to find Madam Taylor.

He finds her out in the clearing, doing some of those exercises Zack says are called tai chi. Something about clearing the mind and centering herself to find inner calm. She’s offered to teach him a couple of times, but he’s always refused. Clearing his mind of _that woman_ always seems an impossible task and he doesn’t want to burden Madam Taylor with his problems.

When she senses him approaching, she stops what she’s doing. He shakes his head, “You don’t have to stop.”

“It’s alright, I was almost done anyway. I wanted to go in and check on Lady Kimberly," she's the only one Kim allows to call her by her title anymore.

“Trini just brought her out. She drank some water but she’s sleeping now.”

She nods, “She’ll need to eat something as well. I know she’s still not feeling well but it has to be done. I told Trini that she should be able to fly in a day or two.”

“That’s good.”

The older woman examines him carefully, “That isn’t what you came out here to talk to me about though is it?”

Jason shakes his head, “Billy thinks he may know how to break the curse and keep them both human.”

“That’s wonderful.”

“It is. But it means we’ll have to face _her_.”

“You were always going to have to, if you wanted to do this.”

“I know. We were… we were wondering if you knew anything about _her_. What she’s doing… what progress she’s made?”

“I know that life in Lady Kimberly’s lands has not been good since she left. Madam de Repoussant has spent almost all her time in the Eastern Fortress. My health is not what it once was, so I can’t risk going onto her lands. I have people who deliver  supplies to me once a month or so and they tell me things. None of them are good. The incursions of dark creatures are more numerous than before. And she has started conscripting people to work in her mines. She is desperate to get to those crystals."

“Does she have the power, the control over the elder forces she wanted?”

“Not that I know of. But I can’t claim to know everything about what is going on there. I’m out of practice , and honestly trying to sense her energy leaves me drained. I can only assume that if she had gained full control, we would likely know.”

Jason frowns. He was prepared to go back to the Hart’s castle. They know that place well, all the secret ways in and out, the routines of life there. The Eastern Fortress is impenetrable, at least so far as he knows. Captain Oliver always talked about it as the bastion of security for the entire territory. Its garrison is a hundred men strong, and its stone walls are thick and tall. He has no idea how they’ll even begin to infiltrate it.

Madam Taylor seems almost to read his mind, “You will need someone who is familiar with the Fortress. Zordon… before he went to the Far East with Kimberly's father, he was at the Eastern Fortress garrison for nearly six years. He even returned there for a year or so before he decided to leave Lord Hart's service. I think he may have even studied the zeo crystals.”

Jason thinks about it. Zordon wouldn't be upset to see him. They've gone to see Zordon more than once since that initial visit. From here, the journey to Noyer Blanc would take two or three days depending on when he left, a day each way for travel and Zordon would probably insist that he stay for at least a day.

While he didn't like to leave any of them, it was probably an ideal time for him to do so. Kim, like the hawk, would likely need another day to get back on her feet, and maybe a week before she could travel properly (even then he wasn’t sure how she could fight, but knowing her she’d force it to work). Perhaps most importantly, without a good idea of how to get into the fortress, there's no way to make any sort of realistic plan.

 “I’ll talk to the others. If I left, would…”

“We would be fine,” she puts a hand on his shoulder, “Not everyone is always solely your responsibility, Jason.”

He nods. But they both know he doesn’t really believe it.

**

When Kimberly changes that night she immediately feels pain lance through her from the wounds that are still healing. She doesn't know what she's done during the day, but she doubts it was anything too strenuous. If she feels like this, the falcon would probably barely have been able to move.

She looks around and sees Trini smiling at her a little wistfully, “You better not slack off tonight, Princess, you didn’t do jack as a bird except sit on your feathered ass and eat treats.”

Kimberly laughs, sharp and short, surprised by the joke. Usually they don’t joke around. Even two years later, the wound is as raw as the day as it was made, which was undoubtedly Rita’s intention so their moments together are usually somber. If Trini is feeling this light… “What’s going on?”

“Ask Billy,” is all Trini says before she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath in through her nose. She exhales through her mouth and looks at Kim again, “I’m glad you’re alive, _amor._ ”  Kim's breath hitches. It's the first time Trini's called her that in a long time. It makes her sound almost hopeful. She opens her mouth to respond, but Trini is gone and the wolf is looking up at her.

The wolf immediately leaps up on the bed and flops down next to her. She nuzzles into Kimberly, who realizes that she’s still buck naked, but can’t really bring herself to move once the wolf snuggles up to her. The wolf's softness and warmth is so comforting, taking the edge off the suddenness of her morph. She sighs and hugs the animal around the neck, trying to swallow her frustration. The wolf makes what almost sounds like an inquisitive noise.

“I’m fine. I mean, it still hurts pretty badly, but the way we heal… I’ll probably be feeling a lot better in another couple nights.”

Kimberly’s not particularly eager to test out how moving will feel. The morph didn't usually hurt, but the spike of pain she'd felt when she re-emerged from the bird stupor was pretty severe, so she knows when she stands up it'll probably won't feel great. She relaxes and just holds the wolf for a while.

It’s been so long since she’s really been severely injured or sick that she hasn't had a chance to miss being comforted. Usually if the falcon gets hurt, a simple change to human manages to heal it. She might feel a little odd and weak for a day, but it generally resolves itself pretty quickly. And as a human, she never seems to get sick, even when the boys do, and she’s so fast and strong when she’s fighting that she’s not sure anyone’s landed a solid blow on her since she was cursed. It might be nice under other circumstances.

The last time she was truly sick or hurt was before they were cursed, and Trini had held her all night and talked to her  about everything and nothing in two languages until she drifted off to sleep…

The memory is physically painful. She shakes her head, huffing out a irritated breath. Best not to dwell. The wolf looks at her and whines a little. She soothes it by rubbing between her ears, “I’m okay. I guess we should go talk to Jason or Billy or whoever. If they made you actually smile, it must be good. Or at least I hope it is.”

**

Getting up is just as painful as she thought it would be, but thankfully, it resolves into a dull ache the more she moves around. By the time she leaves the room and heads out to where the others are gathered at the table, it's not nearly as noticeable, although it's still bad enough that she takes the first available chair and gratefully accepts the soothing tea Madam Taylor hands her. After the routine pleasantries, she turns straight to Billy, surrounded by papers and notes, and asks to hear his theory.

Listening to Billy talk about the eclipse and the possibilities and the calculations makes her ache again because she knows how much Trini had probably enjoyed learning about it. She can even see Trini’s cramped, spiky handwriting next to Billy’s smoother flowing but no less messy notes in his notebook.

Billy sees her looking and says, “Normally I don’t let people write in there. I’m kind of… specific, you know? But then I figured maybe that was because no one ever cared enough to try, or was smart enough so when she said she wanted to I just handed it over to her and…”

Kim smiles, tries to will the goddamn tears away, as she sees Trini in her mind’s eye… not the Trini she still sees every morning for far too short a time, sad and yearning, but the stubborn, skinny, closed off eight year old with the determined furrow in her brow who Kimberly had taught how to write.

She runs her fingers over the writing, tries to concentrate on the meaning of Billy’s words, to forcefully pull herself out of the black hole of memories she’s spiraling into, “And you’re sure about this?”

“Sure as I can be. I mean you’re the first two cursed people I’ve ever met… no offense…”

“No it’s all right,” she smiles at him reassuringly. No matter how upset she is, she finds it easy to smile at Billy. He's so sweet and guileless that she can't help but like him. Not only that, but he's known them for a day or two and he's already entirely committed to trying to help them, even though he's been taken away from everyone and everything he's ever known, "I understand what you mean."

Jason, who's been sitting next to Billy at the table, says, "Not to put a damper on things, but you should also know that Li says that _she_ is at the Eastern Fortress."

"Shit."

"But she also says Zordon knows the Fortress well. He may know a way in," Jason looks at her intently, "We just need to get in and get to her. If you kill her, all this will be over."

Kimberly nods, but she knows they're both aware of how much more difficult the Eastern Fortress makes this.

"I'm going to see him. If I leave tonight, I should be back in three days or so. Zack will stay here. Between him and whichever of the two of you is human, you should be able to handle anything that comes your way. I'm ready to go, I just wanted to see that you were all right."

"And what if he doesn't know a way in?"

"I'm trying not to lose hope until we know for sure there's a reason to."

Kimberly laughs, hoping it doesn't sound too bitter, "The story of our lives."

He pulls her into a hug, "I'll be back before you know it."

She returns the embrace tightly. When she releases him, he hugs Madam Taylor, pats Billy on the shoulder, and then heads the front door, where Kim assumes Zack has Thunder saddled up for him. She watches him go and scratches the wolf  behind the ears. Despite her usual pessimism and what she'd just said to Jason, she finds herself feeling something like actual hope for the first time in a long while. She tries to push it down, not wanting to get ahead of herself, but finds it difficult.

She hasn't had a lot of experience with real hope in the past two years, and she's almost reluctant to deprive herself now.

**

It's a little past dawn when Jason gets to the familiar shop in Noyer Blanc. Zordon welcomes him warmly as usual. Very little has changed in the nearly two years since they showed up at his doorstep. Zordon himself barely seems to have aged, and he's still just as generous with his resources as they'll let him be.

The shop is open for business. Jason is reluctant to discuss what he wants to with customers coming in and out, so he waits until Zordon closes up for lunch. He spends the intervening hours upstairs, first eating porridge, and then pacing. He tries to read, but he can't concentrate properly.

By the time Zordon appears, he's practically vibrating with anticipation. Zordon raises an eyebrow and says, "So what is it you'd like to discuss?"

Jason stays standing, bouncing on his heels as he explains Billy's theory. Zordon listens patiently. When Jason finishes, the old soldier strokes his goatee thoughtfully for a moment, then gets up, moving to a large wooden box in the corner next to the bookshelf. The box is made of dark lacquered wood and has intricate designs carved on it. Jason had noticed it on previous trips but had never had occasion to ask about it.

He opens the box and Jason can see it's full of what look like mementos of his time in Lord Hart's service. Lying across the top is a thick book, larger than Billy's notebook, but with the same type of plain leather cover. He pulls it out and brings it over to the table where he lays it down. He opens it and begins flipping through the pages.

The book's pages are densely packed with writing, sketches and diagrams. Under other circumstances, Jason thinks it would be incredibly fascinating to look through it. Zordon gets to the page he's looking for and gestures, "In all, I spent nearly eight years at the Eastern Fortress. I know it as well as any man alive."

Jason looks and sees that, in the book, Zordon has drawn a large, extremely detailed plan of the Eastern Fortress. A smile tugs at the corners of Jason's mouth as he looks over at the old man, "Will this still be accurate?"

"I don't see why not. That Fortress has remained unchanged for centuries. It didn't change in the seven years I was away, and I doubt it's changed that much in the twenty plus years since I was last there, aside from minor necessary upgrades and repairs."

"This is perfect," Jason sits down to get a better look at it the illustration, muttering to himself, "It's still not a given, it'll still be tough, but..." he nods. "This is just what we need," he says to Zordon, "With something like this we can at least make a plan."

"I think you're probably correct."

"I'm going to need to copy this out before I leave. I'm sorry I can't stay longer, but it's..."

"No," says Zordon, smiling pleasantly.

Jason frowns, "What?"

"I said, no. I won't let you copy it."

"Why?"

"Because I'm going to bring it with me when I come with you."

Jason shakes his head, "No, Zordon. I can't let you do that. This has always been something that the four of us have had to do together. We never meant to bring anyone else into it at all. Billy is only with us by sheer chance..."

"You'll need my help. I know how to get there, how to approach it without being seen from the guard towers. I could certainly tell it all to you, write it down, but it wouldn't be the same. And if, by chance, there are changes to the place, I can help formulate a new plan."

"Zordon..."

"And besides, I want to help you. What that woman has done to you is awful. If you're going to finally try to break the curse, you're going to need all the assistance you can get..."

Jason sighs. He's pretty sure he can't argue with that. Zordon has become a friend over the years, and something of a mentor, talking with him about his experiences, about the military, about leadership every time he comes. Even at his age and with one eye, the man is a hell of a marksman, and can hold his own with a sword. Still, "If we fail, we probably won't be coming back." It's the first time he's expressed the thought out loud, but he knows as the words leave his mouth that they're true.

"I'm an old man Jason. And I'm a soldier. I've been living in this town for over twenty years. If I stay here, I'm probably going to end up dying of old age or having a heart attack when I'm lifting up a box of supplies. I'd much rather die fighting for a good cause, and I think preventing an evil sorceress from unleashing the elder forces into our reality en masse and reuniting two people in love might be the very best causes, don't you?"

There's a long moment of silence as Jason contemplates the older man's words. Finally, he smiles slightly and sighs, "Yeah... yeah I think they are."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you go. Hope you enjoyed it. The thing Zack says about Billy being trapped in a tragic love story is from Ladyhawke the movie, just to remind you where this all started haha. Please feel free to let me know what you think if you'd like. I sort of doubt the chapter count will stay what it is now, but I remain ever the optimist.
> 
> And thank you so much to everyone who has read and commented and left kudos or whatever. I really and truly appreciate every single one of you. Heck, I appreciate everyone who just reads it and enjoys it period, but I love reading your comments. Even if I don't reply directly to you (cause I am perpetually tired and always bad at corresponding), know that I think you're awesome.
> 
> I can be found on tumblr @ haughts-bulletproofvest.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


	11. part v - the best laid plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> there's an eclipse in the forecast and our heroes intend to make the most of it

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> it feels like it's been forever since I've updated (almost a whole week!!). I kind of struggled with the middle of this one, and ultimately i'm pretty happy with it (though some of the section breaks are a wee bit rough lol). anyway, this is basically the first half of the big finale (I really do think i'll wrap up the main part in one more chapter). enjoy. :)

part v - the best laid plans

It turns out that Madam Taylor is incredibly accurate about the healing process. The day after the hawk had morphed and been almost too weak to move, only three days she was injured, Trini comes back to herself after the morph and finds the falcon standing on the bed looking at her, stretching its wings and digging into the mattress with its talons, practically hopping up and down with restless energy. The bird sees she’s awake and gives a full throated screech at her, which is incredibly loud in the cramped space.

Despite the fact that Kimberly has morphed away before Trini had even become aware of her surroundings, which hardly ever happens, Trini finds herself smiling. That kind of eagerness to change meant that the falcon must have been feeling better and that she was chomping at the bit to go out.

Trini mutters, “Patience!” and pushes herself up to get dressed. The second her thick leather gauntlet and wrist armor are on, the falcon is off the bed and on her hand. She strides through the house with purpose, past the others as they sit hunched over their breakfast, and emerges onto the porch. The falcon takes off with a satisfied cry before Trini can even fully extend her arm to give her leverage.

Trini looks up at the sky, watching as the falcon soars gracefully above her in lazy circles, looking for her breakfast. She’s always found watching Kim fly like this hypnotic, almost soothing, although she didn’t do it often because eventually it would also start to make her sad, but today watching Kimberly soar is seeing solid proof that she’s alive and that she’s on the mend, even if it's clear she's not a hundred percent simply from the way she isn't straying too far from the clearing.

It also helps that Trini's feeling especially tired so any dark thoughts that might try to creep in are being held at bay by her fatigue. She never feels rested, no matter how much she sleeps, something to do with the strain of living two full lives, and on days like  this the exhaustion is like a physical weight. She’s slept even less than usual the last couple days, still not quite over the fact that Kimberly nearly died, or the fact that, while Jason was struggling to save her life, Trini was totally useless, running around as a wolf, howling her pain. About her only solid recollection of the night is a feeling of overwhelming grief. Kimberly might have died and Trini wouldn’t have been able to even attempt to do something about it.

She knows that Jason will be back later today or tomorrow, and they’ll all need to start planning or preparing or whatever it is they’re going to do to get ready, but for now she’s content standing out here with the sun on her face and the gentle breeze stirring her hair…

She’s been watching the falcon for nearly a quarter hour when the door behind her opens and someone walks towards her. She can tell it's Zack even before stops at her side and offers her a cup with steaming, sweet smelling liquid in it, “Mother’s tea, extra strong.”

Trini nods her thanks and takes the cup, eyes never leaving the falcon as she sips it.

“Mom says it will take some time for her to be fully healed, but she looks like she’s doing okay.”

Another nod. The falcon evidently sees something she likes, because she stops her lazy glide, and flaps her wings, plummeting towards whatever tasty small mammal she sees. Trini finally looks over at Zack, one hand holding the cup, the other absently running over the hilts of the daggers on her left hand side. She’s never been one for small talk so she gets right to the point, “Do you think it will work?”

He thinks about that for a long moment, sipping at his own tea. He always seems to know when she needs a real answer, not some humorous deflection or bad joke. Finally, he says, “I don’t know. But I know this is the best option we’ve had in the whole time we’ve been out here, and that's a lot more than we had before.”

They stand in companionable silence as Trini sips her tea and the sun warms the clearing. "It's been seven hundred twenty days," she can feel him glancing at her sidelong, but he doesn't say anything, for once at a loss for words. He knows what she's referring to, but what is there to say about it?

Seven hundred twenty days since she last touched Kimberly, since she last held her, last kissed her, last laughed with her, last had a real conversation with her. Since looking at her wasn't a reminder of everything she'd lost, a dull pain in the center of her being that just won't go away. In the grand scheme of things she supposes that isn't so long, but it feels like an eternity. And now there's the prospect of an end to it, and she's still processing exactly what that means.

Breaking the curse was always such a distant thing before. Even when she'd figured out the eclipse thing, she'd been no more than cautiously optimistic, and when it hadn't worked, she'd just shrugged and moved on. This plan though... there are still innumberable obstacles to overcome: they have to get into the fortress, they have to actually be able to get close enough to Rita to kill her, the eclipse has to actually work to change them both at the same, but for some reason, maybe because it's Billy's plan and Billy is so damn enthusiastic about it, she's started to think about what will happen if it works.

All the positives... those she's thought about, dreamed about for two years.  But her natural inclination has always been towards thinking the worst, and recent experience hasn't exactly given her reason to change, so now that a solution might finally be within their grasp, she finds herself dwelling on the negatives. What if they don't get along anymore? What if all of this has been too much, if they've changed too much with time, with everything they've been forced to do? People change and drift apart under normal circumstances and these are far from usual.

Zack's voice breaks into her increasingly disheartening reverie, "You know, I can practically hear what you're thinking."

She opens her eyes and glares at him, "Oh yeah?"

"Yeah. You've got that little furrow between your eyebrows, which seems a little off given that your girl just survived a near death experience _and_ the new kid has just thought of something that might solve our little problem. So I have to assume you're running through worst case scenarios in your head. Repeatedly."

Her jaw tightens.

He grins, "Now I know I'm right. You only do that jaw thing when I peg you exactly."

She rolls her eyes, tries to unclench her jaw. She fucking hates it when he's right.

"If you wanna talk about it, I'm here, you know that."

She sighs heavily. She knows he is and that she _should_ talk it out (holding things in is fine if she's got no other option, but she usually does feel better after talking them out). "What if it's different?" she asks, cringing at having said it out loud, "What if _we're_ different?"

Zack shrugs, "You _are_ different. Both of you have been through a lot, we all have. It'd be pretty unlikely that we'd come out the other side of that exactly the same as we were before, don't you think?"

"Very logical," she says dryly.

"Different doesn't mean bad, though. You still love her right?"

"More than anything."

"Do you really think that she feels any differently?"

"No," Trini says with firm certainty. If there's one thing she's never once doubted, it's that Kimberly loves her. What _they_ feel has never been the problem, only outside forces and circumstances and the rough pull of fate and what fucking society says they should do or be have held them back. Even now, it's not the loss of Kimberly's love she fears, it's the possibility that, after all that they've been through, love won't be enough, that they'll look at each other and think only of all the pain of the last two years, that thinking of it will drive them apart.

"You're doing it again..." Zack admonishes.

"Fuck, Taylor, you're an annoying piece of shit you know that?"

"Yeah, but you like it," he throws an arm around her shoulders, "Look, I know you, and I know you'd never let what that bitch did to you change anything about how you feel about her ladyship. And she may not confide her deepest secrets to me, but I have eyes. She won't let it either. If anything, she's going to appreciate you even more now. I mean, I know that's how you feel right?"

They've never talked about it before, specifically or in detail. The prospect of having the curse broken was so distant there was no point, but he's right. All depressing thoughts of the inadequate nature of love aside, Trini knows that if the curse is broken, she'll do everything in her power to never let Kimberly go again. The thought is so overwhelming that it chokes her up, and she knows if she opens her mouth she'll start crying or something equally embarrassing so she just nods.

"All right then. So no point in dwelling, then is there?"

She just shakes her head. Damn him for being right.

He looks up and sees that the hawk has reappeared and is heading back towards him. Trini holds her arm out by instinct and the falcon lands on it, looking all haughty and proper as usual despite the tinge of blood and some other unidentifiable viscera on its beak. He grimaces, "Looks like her majesty found some food." Zack looks at Trini, "How about you? You didn't exactly pause to get some porridge on your way through."

Trini sighs, finally feeling like she can speak, "Yeah let's go in," she looks at the falcon, "You sure you want to go in? It's only been about a half hour."

The bird tilts its head to the side, then takes the long hop up to her shoulder and bumps her face. Trini rolls her eyes, "Not you too. Look, I'm fine, if you want to soar for awhile do it. You need to stretch anyway... and headbumping me with guts hanging off you is gross, go clean up..."  The falcon blinks at her skeptically, but seems to concede her point. Having established that she's all right, the bird takes off again.

Trini watches her go and glares at Zack, "She's as bad as you."

Zack claps her on the shoulder as they head for the house, "Yeah, yeah. I doubt you'll be complaining about her smothering you with concern and affection when you're both human again twenty four hours a day."

She manages a laugh, but all she can think is that she desperately hopes he's right.

**

They're all surprised when Jason shows up just after sunset with Zordon in tow on a huge, heavily laden old war horse. The mood improves dramatically after Jason explains that Zordon is familiar with the Fortress and thinks he knows a way they can get in. It’s nice to know there's at least one problem with a potential solution.

Per Billy’s calculations they have three weeks. It will take perhaps two or three days to get from Madam Taylor’s cabin to the Eastern Fortress where Zordon has informed them that Rita is, sticking to the forested hills just over the border from the Hart territory the entire way. It would take less time if they went back into Hart land and took the border road along the base of the foothills, but they can’t set foot on her lands for fear that Rita will be able to sense it. Madam Taylor and Zordon are both sure that the curse has somehow linked Kimberly, Trini and Rita. Even if they don't know how exactly, they can't risk alerting Rita any sooner than necessary.

They decide to depart about a week after Zordon arrives, depending upon how Kimberly is feeling. She hates being the cause of their delay, but Madam Taylor insists and, once Zordon gets a look at her, so does he. Kimberly grudgingly agrees to wait. They spend their days training and planning.

Kimberly isn't really able to throw herself in to training until a full week after her injury. She's no longer in any real pain, but she's half a step slower than she was before and she tires faster, which doesn't stop her from pushing herself to the point of exhaustion.

She spars with Jason, and he's actually challenging her, which hasn't happened for over a year (since they discovered that she was so much faster and stronger than he was that he was basically just acting as a human training dummy). The first time he lands a hit that knocks her over, he apologizes profusely and offers her a hand. She knocks it away, pushes herself back to her feet, and (after a disappointed huff and headshake) goes straight back to her fighting stance.

After three days she's able to evade all of Jason's strikes and beats him every time, but he can feel she's still not in perfect health yet. Knowing that he won't ever be able to get her to admit it, or to concede to spending any more time here than they've already committed to, he doesn't press the point. Madam Taylor tries to, but ultimately she knows Kimberly as well as the rest of them. All she can do is express her concerns before watching Kimberly take another run at the makeshift weapons and obstacle course Jason has set up for them in front of the cabin.

The training is redundant for Trini. She's so far beyond Jason or Zack’s speed and strength level now that they can’t provide much of a challenge for her when they spar unless she slows herself down. Mostly she just runs the obstacle course and throws daggers into the same targets that Kimberly shoots her arrows at. Jason and Zack still spar some with each other, but they’ve spent so many of their copious free hours with this sort of thing that the two of them along with one or the other of the women could probably take out an entire battalion of guards if they wanted to.

Their human opponents aren’t necessarily even what they’re worried about. They’ll cut down whoever they have to in order to get to Rita, although they agree that they’ll try to kill as few people as possible. Unlike the men who’d tried to kill Billy, the guards they’ll be facing when they go against Rita will only be doing their job. No, what they’re concerned about is Rita herself. Even if she hasn’t accessed the elder forces to the extent she wants, they don’t know what tricks she might have up her billowing green sleeves. She's still proven herself to be a powerful sorceress, zeo crystals or no.

Billy spends part of the week constructing an odd contraption out of things he’s found around Madam Taylor’s home, part hourglass, part sextant. He says he can use to track the exact time of the eclipse, which will allow them to get into position as precisely as they can. That done, he spends most of the rest of the time before they leave double checking his own calculations, making sure they’re still accurate, and talking to Zordon and Madam Taylor about the elder forces and Hart family’s connection to the lands.

He asks Jason more questions about the curse that Rita placed on the girls, writing notes down in his notebook, as Jason explains it again in as much detail as he can. He even manages to get Kimberly to tell him exactly what Rita said when she put the curse on them in the first place (Jason is astonished when Kim actually tells him about it, but she seems to have a soft spot for the boy whose life she saved, they all do).

At first, Jason isn’t sure why someone as scientifically minded as Billy would be bothering with such details. At one point, he mentions it to Zordon and he just shrugs, “He’s just like anyone else, Captain. When people encounter something that is hard to wrap their mind around, they often deal processing it by going to something familiar, something methodical. His way of dealing with a problem is to go to the facts, the science of it. He’s just treating the elder forces like astronomy or physics or any of the other natural sciences.”  Jason figures that makes as much sense as anything else.

A day before they’re set to leave, Billy comes to dinner with his notebook open and slides it over in front of Jason as he sits down. Jason looks at it and frowns, moving his eyes over the jumble of words and notes. He’s gotten better at interpreting some of Billy’s less complicated equations and formulas over the last few days, but sometimes it’s all like a foreign language. He almost wishes the boy had come to him before Trini had morphed back into a wolf. She's the only one of them that can converse with Billy about any of this in a truly intelligent way.

The notebook page contains a small replication of the drawing of the Eastern Fortress schematic in Zordon's journal. Jason can see the back wall of the castle then the thick outer castle wall. The castle backs up against the same range of rolling hills that Madam Taylor lives on, although closer to the Eastern Fortress, the range is more mountainous. It’s the transition area between gentle inclines and craggy peaks. There’s a stream running across the top of the hill. Next to the illustration, Jason can see a series of notes that seem to have to do with the curse itself.

Jason isn’t sure what he’s looking at or why and says as much when Billy explains, “I have a theory. About a failsafe… if things don’t work, there’ll be one last thing we can try.”  He proceeds to explain what he’s thinking, and everyone at the table watches him with rapt attention.

Kimberly frowns at him when he’s done, “You can’t know that will work.”

“We can’t know that any of it will work,” Zack points out, unhelpfully. Kim glares at him.

“It’s a lot shakier than the eclipse theory," Billy says, oblivious to Kim and Zack's back and forth, "and hopefully if everything works out we won’t have to worry about it, but it’ll be nice to have options, don’t you think?’

Jason can’t argue with that. If things go the way he thinks they will, they’re going to need as many options as they can get. He pats Billy on the shoulder firmly, "You're right," he says, smiling. Billy grins back hugely, and Jason feels a little lift in his chest. He looks over at Kim, who's looking at him with a thoughtful glint in her eye, "We'll let Trini know too. It's not that I want anything to go wrong but..."

Kimberly smiles at Billy as well, "It's nice to have options," she echoes.

**

They leave as scheduled, seven days after Zordon’s arrival. The journey to the Eastern Fortress goes relatively smoothly. It takes three and a half days, which gives them about a week and a half to solidify their plan. Most of what they had come up with at Madam Taylor’s was half thought out because they couldn’t be sure that Zordon’s plans were still correct.

The fortress is backed up against the hill they’re on, which rises above it and slopes gently down on either side. The fortress side, the side in Hart territory, is all scrub brush and loose rock broken up by a single copse of trees about halfway down. The top of the hill and the opposite side, the one in the Bishop’s territory, is still heavily wooded, much like the area around Madam Taylor’s cabin. The temperature is cooler than it was there, but aside from that, and the stream that runs across the top of the hill, the border between the two lands, it looks a lot like that familiar area.

They set up camp about ten yards away from the stream. The trees are spaced out just enough that they can put up their tents, although probably not enough that a fire would be a wise idea, which is fine, given that they weren’t planning on lighting one. It’s too close to the Fortress, and they can’t afford for some curious sentry to spot the smoke. It’s nearly midnight when they arrive, and as soon as they’ve set up camp and made sure the horses are properly secured, Jason, Zordon, and Zack prepare to head across the stream to the edge of the forest overlooking the Fortress.

Kimberly approaches as they’re about to set off. The wolf isn’t glued to her side for once (she’d been shadowing her more closely than usual since Kimberly had been hurt), having gone running off into the woods to stretch her legs and get some dinner. Jason recognizes the troubled look on Kim’s face and gestures for the others to go ahead.

“I can feel her,” Kim says, quietly, her brow furrowed, “It’s like a weird pressure in my head. The closer we’ve gotten, the more aware of her I am. In fact, I’m almost sure that if I get closer I’d know _exactly_ where she was,” she puts a hand to her forehead, “It’s like there’s a tether there. Trini is probably feeling the same thing.”

“Do you think _she_ can feel you too?”

“Maybe. I don’t know.  Even if she can, it’s not as though we can give up on the plan now. There’s a little over a week left and this is the last total eclipse for forty years. I’m not going to live as a goddamn loveless nomad until I’m 60. This ends now.”

“All right. I guess at least we’ll know where to find her.”

Kim gives him a wry look, “I knew you’d find the bright side…”

He claps her on the shoulder, “We’ll make it work.”

“Ever the optimist,” she sighs. She pats his hand briefly and then heads back into the camp to start unpacking their rations for dinner. They’re still reluctant to have Kim or Trini cross the border onto the Hart lands, at least not until closer to the eclipse, a choice that seems validated by this newfound connection. They don’t know how _she_  will react or what she’ll be able to do to them if they breach the border, and it’s better to wait until the last minute. Even the animals have been reluctant to go near it.

Jason turns and wades across the shallow stream to where Zordon and Zack are crouched in the shadow of the trees, looking down at the Fortress below them through Zordon's spyglass. He pauses for just a moment to register how odd it is to be back in the land of his birth before joining them and looking down.

It’s actually smaller than he thought it might be, but the walls are tall and thick. The main difference between Zordon's schematic and the actual Fortress is that the entire main courtyard is a huge gaping pit with several mine shafts driven deep down into the earth. The yard is full of mining equipment, and even from this distance, at this hour, they can see people swarming all over it. The guard barracks and the stables marked on Zordon's map have been repurposed to work for the mine, or gutted. Zordon shakes his head when he sees it, "She's turned everything and everyone around this place towards the single purpose of mining for those crystals..."

"She's been doing this the whole time?"

He nods, "I imagine so."

Jason shakes his head, "Jesus," he turns his view towards the back of the outside wall the one closest to them. Almost all the activity in the fortress is directed towards the mining. The area nearer to them is nearly deserted in comparison, although there are still guards and various servants scurrying about. The mining is horrible, but if they're going to get in, they need the tunnel that Zordon had pointed out to them on the schematics to still be there and unblocked. It had been meant as an escape route if the Fortress was under siege. Zordon said that by the time he had been there, it was nearly forgotten, only the oldest of the old soldiers had been aware of its presence. They were hoping _she_ hasn't found it, and that they could use it.

Zordon is looking intently, scanning. Finally he smiles, "The entrance marker is still there."

"How do we know it's open?"

"We don't. Unless we want to risk going down there..."

Jason shakes his head, "We can't..."  They'd agreed beforehand that they could only observe from a distance, despite the fact that it would mean their information about the fortress layout and the guard shifts and such might be inaccurate. There just aren't enough of them to do a proper recon, and losing any of them would be devastating. They have to save all their resources for the final push.

Zordon nods, "I agree. We'll have to settle for watching them, as we agreed. We'll examine their patterns, all of it. If things go as Billy says, we'll only need a window of perhaps three quarters of an hour. We'll rely as much as we can on stealth, but with your fighting skills, I think you can handle it if you're spotted. The most important thing is to make sure Trini and Lady Kimberly are near Rita when the eclipse happens."

Zack sighs, "Surveillance... seven days worth... This is going to be boring, isn't it?"

"You bet," replies Zordon, smiling slightly, "All the best military operations are more planning than action. Believe me, you'll be glad for it once you're down there."

**

On the second day, they all crouch along the ridge, watching the guards and the miners go about their business. Zack frown gets deeper as he looks at the activity. “Those miners aren’t there of their own free will,” he growls.

Jason nods. They’re clearly slave labor, lots of worn down, thin looking men and boys and even a few sturdier looking women are doing the hauling and heading in the mine to do digging. Somehow he’s glad that Kimberly isn’t around to see this. These are her people, enslaved. .

They spend the whole day watching the activity, Zordon making notes. Jason can't quite keep himself from shuddering when they see _her_ walk through the yard with Tyler. Zack and Zordon are kind enough to pretend not to notice. Tyler is wearing suit of plate armor that appears to be made of gold. Jason knows it can't possibly actually be gold (the metal is far too soft to make decent armor), so it's probably gold plating, but it looks imposing. They stop and speak to some of the overseers and then return to the castle.

For the next few days they simply observe. The patterns become clear. The slave laborers are marched in from outside the Fortress just after dawn and marched out a bit after midnight. They are driven hard all day by overseers and guards, swarming around the entrance to the giant gaping hole that's been dug in the courtyard. Tyler and _that woman_ come out three times a day to examine the work. They only observe the castle during the day because their raid is going to have to take place then. He hates the thought of going in when it's light, but it’s not like they have a lot of choices. The eclipse will be in the afternoon. The only good thing about it is that Kimberly will be a lot easier to sneak into the castle as a hawk than Trini would as a wolf

Their plan is simple. Zordon is right, they just need to get near her after Trini and Kim have changed. The hardest part will be getting in and finding her, although with Trini and Kimberly knowing where she is all the time, that will be easier. An hour before the eclipse, they'll quietly make their way to the secret passage, sneak through it, and then position themselves near enough to _that woman_ to get to her as soon as they change.

Jason and Zack will be around to provide cover and keep any guards off of Trini and Kim while they go after Rita. Jason finds himself eager to face Tyler Fleming. He still remembers the cruelly triumphant look on the man's face when he was standing over Captain Oliver's dead body.

There are no guarantees that any of this will work (there are a hundred things that might go wrong), and it seems likely that if they don't succeed, they may be killed, but when he talks about this with Kimberly and Trini, they both tell him it's better to die like this, trying to take control of their own fates, than to simply continue as they have been, running away from everything and everyone until they simply exhaust what little hope they have left to them.

Once they've scouted things out and settled on their course of action, all there is to do is wait, and the days leading up to the eclipse are tense. Everyone is on edge, knowing how close they are to possibly breaking the curse.

Billy spends every night looking up at the stars and, checking his calculations over and over. Kimberly, when she’s not busy hacking away at Jason with her sword or shooting arrows into targets at the edge of her obviously extra human vision, stands next to him, allowing him to explain everything to her in great bursts of information she can just barely understand. It makes her feel closer to Trini somehow for a reason she can’t fully comprehend.

The wolf bounds through the woods, happy to have free reign, but she stays away from the creek that is the border of the Hart territory, even growls or whines when anyone else gets too close.

By the time the day arrives, they're all more than ready to get things over with. Jason, Zack and Zordon go in the morning to take one final look at things.

It’s quiet when they look down at the fortress. Too quiet. There is activity around the entrance to the mine, but it’s reduced from the level it had been the last couple of days by at least two thirds by Billy’s estimation. There are still sentries, and but far fewer, and _she_ and Tyler in his obnoxious golden armor haven’t been doing their regular walkthroughs all morning.

Jason finds it suspicious, but not so suspicious that he thinks they can pass up the chance, and he's positive the others feel the same. Billy is so eager to test his theory that he’s practically vibrating. Jason still wants him to stay in camp with Zordon, but he refuses, arguing that someone has to let them know when they're close to the eclipse time. Jason can’t think of an argument against that (he can't even begin to read the makeshift timekeeping device Billy has made) so he tells him to stick close to Zack and hopes that he’ll remember all the sparring tips they've gone over in the past few weeks (Billy doesn't like to fight, but he's surprisingly fast and has excellent reflexes).

Trini is far more low key, but he can tell she’s anticipating this just as much. Even the hawk seems full of restless energy. Maybe it’s because she’s so close to the Hart lands after all this time, maybe it’s because she’s feeding off Trini’s mood, but she can’t keep still on Trini’s wrist, and she hasn’t even tried to fly far. Even when she’s gone up, she’s only circled and come straight back down. There’s no way either of them is missing this, and Jason knows Zack won’t let Trini go alone.

They’re looking down at the activity below, all arrayed in a row behind the cover of the foliage and rocks at the top of the hill, just on the Bishop’s side of the stream. It’s not the best vantage point, but they don’t want to cross the stream until it’s absolutely necessary, given that it might alert Rita to their presence.

Jason looks at Zordon, “Is that normal?” he asks, referring to the lack of activity.

“Some days were quieter than others, yes. It is a Sunday. While I have a hard time believing a sorceress would give much thought to such things, she may allow her people to do so, if only to try to keep them sedated.”

Trini snorts, “It doesn’t look like she’s doing anyone any favors down there.”

“No, but without interrogating a sentry or talking to someone who works there there's no way to know for sure. When one is going in blind, it’s hard to be too picky about what information you can get.”

Jason nods grimly, knowing the old soldier is right.

“It’s all to the good if there’s fewer people, anyway,” Zack says, “It’ll be tough enough just getting to Rita at all.”

“Well, at least once we get in _she_ shouldn’t be hard to find,” he glances at Trini, whose expression is sour.

She shakes her head, “I can feel the bitch from here.”

Jason looks down at the fortress again, “And the tunnel will take us straight into the castle?”

“Into the kitchens yes,” Zordon says, his voice confident.

“I wish we’d had a chance to investigate it more thoroughly.”

“Not every operation can go the way we want it to,” Zordon soothes. And Jason knows he’s right, which doesn’t make it any easier to take.

“All right,” Jason sighs and lowers the spyglass, looking back over at the others, “Billy how long do we have?”

Billy is looking up at the positon of the sun with his measuring device and jotting in his notebook. He looks at Jason, “About an hour.”

“Let’s get ready then.”

**

Trini is carrying what should be a lot of weight on someone her size, but she’s always been sturdy and with the collateral strength the curse has granted her, she's more than capable of carry all of her equipment easily. She’s wearing her usual knife belt plus a bandolier strapped across her chest that's also fully loaded. She’s got Kimberly’s bow and arrows slung across her back, along with a satchel slung over her shoulders that holds a change of clothes for when Kim (hopefully) morphs.

She’s not wearing any armor to speak of. Jason wanted her to, but it interferes with her fighting. She’s always been a quick and dirty brawler, and relying on a crutch, like armor, even the basic leather kind Jason wanted her to have, would throw off her balance and handicap her mentally. And if there’s one thing she wants to be right now, it’s fully prepared. She doesn’t want to miss a step when a step could mean the difference between success and failure.

The falcon had been soaring overhead while she got ready, but it seems to sense when she’s fully prepared because it comes down and lands firmly on her outstretched hand. It looks at her with its large black eyes and she runs her hand down its head to its back as she has a thousand times since they were fucking cursed.

She figures this would be the time to give some speech, to say some soft words to the only part of Kimberly she has left to her, but words have so often failed her, so she just takes a deep breath. The bird senses her mood and leans forward to bump its forehead against hers, then nips at her fingers lightly. Trini smiles, “Yeah. Me too,” she gives the hawk a stern look, “Be careful, huh? You’re still not a hundred percent, I know it, slow on the turns and shit…” she wants to say she’ll be glad to see her when she’s human again, but Trini almost feels like that will jinx everything somehow. It's superstitious and probably stupid, but she can't shake the feeling.

The hawk nips her fingers again, then turns its feathered head towards Jason and Billy, who are coming towards them. Jason has light armor on, the kind he used to wear when he was a guard and hasn’t touched since. She assumes Zordon brought it with him in one of the huge packs his giant horse was carrying. Billy has a leather chest piece on. There’s a short sword attached to his hip, but he really doesn’t look like he’s eager to use it. Zack is a little behind them, unarmored like she is, with two small hatchets hanging from his belt.

They don’t look like much really, either individually or as a group, but she wouldn’t count them any of them out. She nods at Jason, at all of them, then looks at the hawk.

“Ready?”

With a cry, the falcon launches herself off of Trini’s hand and begins circling. Billy looks at the odd contraption he's made and then checks the position of the sun. He nods at Jason, who evidently also isn't going to be up for a big speech, and they start their descent, each of them looking back at Zordon as they go and giving him a nod or wave. The old soldier is staying at the camp. He's helped all he can and is hoping that all he'll have to do now is break open the celebratory jug of wine when they return.

The minute Trini wades through the small stream and into the Hart territories, she can feel the prickling at the back of her skull intensify. The closer she's gotten to Rita, the more insistent it's become. She'd gotten used to the dull pressure on their way here, as intense as it might have been, but now it hits her hard and she staggers for a moment. Jason frowns at her in concern, and the hawk actually dives down and perches on her hand again.

Trini shakes her head, "I'm good. It's fine. But we better get moving. If she can feel me like I can feel her, she'll know we're coming."

Jason nods, although he still looks concerned, and they continue on.

The slope of the hill isn't as steep as it appears from the top. It's not exactly a gentle, but they're able to walk down easily. Going back up might be more of a challenge but it'll be doable, and hopefully when they do return, it won't be in a hurry.

When they get to the bottom, they're practically flush with the base of the towering fortress wall. There's a strip of rocky ground between the fortress and the hill, perhaps a yard wide. Sentries from above can look down and see them when they're crossing the ground, but once they get to the base of the wall, they'll be hidden.

Jason and the others gather in one of the copses of scrubby trees that are dotted around the hillside. They look up from the treeline and see two sentries on patrol. They wait until the men have their back turned and then rush across the last few feet of ground.

They find the door just where Zordon said it would be. It sticks, but it still opens and it hasn't been filled in. The tunnel is cold and dark and smells of earth and decay and damp. Trini can walk upright in it, but it only clears her head by about three inches, so everyone else has to bend over. She doesn't bother hiding her smirk as she listens to Zack curse and stumble.

They emerge in some sort of store room off the larder. The tunnel entrance is surrounded by boxes and bags of food and supplies. Once they're out of the tunnel Jason gestures and he and Trini move forward to see if there's anyone in the kitchen. They find a couple of kitchen boys tending to the fires but no one else is around. They grab the boys and take them back to the store room.

"Where is everyone?"

One of the boys looks terrified and he answers almost immediately, his voice trembling. "Church, sir, in town. The Lady requires it. Says it keeps our spirits up."

The other boy  glares, "Which is bullshit," he growls, "Not when she's doing all she does..."

Jason and Trini look at one another. They'd love to sit here and interrogate the kids for more details, but they don't have the time. "Is she there?" this will be harder if they have to do this in a church full of people... and back in the town, which is half a mile away from the Fortress.

"Nah. She's got her private chapel in the courtyard. Just her and that golden asshole and a few of her guards.

They tie the boys up but don't knock them out, just in case. As they go back to the larder, the glaring boy says, "Kick her arse for us!"

Trini half smiles at that. Jason looks at her, "Private chapel?"

She closes her eyes and concentrates. The sense of Rita's presence is so strong now it sweeps over her like a wave of nausea. "Yeah, I think she's there. I can sense it. Sense her surroundings."

"Let's go."

They hurry out of the kitchen and out into the yard. The sun is high in the sky, and Trini finds the thought that it will be blocked out in fifteen minutes an odd one. She leads them around towards the small private chapel across the courtyard. They stick to the edges.

The chapel is nearly flush with the outer wall of the castle. The four of them conceal themselves in the shadows between the wall and the chapel, although it almost doesn't seem necessary. They haven't seen any sentries other than the ones on the outer wall when they'd approached the Fortress and the two or three on the way from the kitchens.  Jason doesn't like it. It makes him suspicious, no matter what the kitchen boys said, but it's not like they can abort the mission or even think things through fully at this point.

He looks at Billy, who glances at the sun and then at his book and the timer he's built. "It should be starting now. The totality should be in about five minutes."

"You feel any different?"

Trini nods. She can feel the pull, the way she does when she's about to change, but this is how she felt during the other eclipses and nothing had happened. As though she can feel it too, the hawk suddenly appears, diving down and landing on the arm Trini instinctively holds out for her.

Jason sighs, "All right. Zack, you and Billy go to the back door. I want to have us covered from there too. Trini, I'll come in the front with you. We'll go in as soon as Kim turns. We'll take care of anyone else who happens to be around..."

Another nod. She can feel her gut churning. Part of it is anticipation of finally having it all over with, the rest is anxiety. The part of her that still expects everything to go wrong at the drop of a hat is still alive and well, perhaps even stronger than it used to be.

Zack and Jason are both looking at her as if they want to say something, as though they're about to get all emotional. Trini can't stand that look. It makes her itch. She glares at them both, "Let's go kill this bitch. I want my life back."

**

Once they're at the door of the chapel, Jason looks at the falcon on Trini's arm intently. The sunlight is getting dimmer and dimmer, an odd effect and very disorienting for what he knows is the middle of the day. Trini is looking at the bird as well, and the other hand on one of her knives.

After a couple of minutes, the hawk leaps off Trini's arm and lands on the ground, as if it knows what's coming. In the next moment, the moon covers the sun entirely and the dimly lit day turns to night. Jason looks up and sees the stars, he sees a black orb in the sky, surrounded by a corona of light. It's awe inspiring.

But his attention is ripped away from it by a choked sob next to him. He looks and sees Trini staring at Kimberly, who's getting to her feet and staring back in awe. "Holy shit it worked..." Kim breathes.  She reaches out a tentative hand and cautiously touches Trini's bare arm between the end of her gauntlet and the bottom of her rolled up shirtsleeve. She's able to maintain the contact. Trini looks at Kimberly’s hand and then back up at Kim, an open look of pure astonishment on her face. Then they surge forward and embrace tightly.

For a split second, Jason is afraid he'll have to be the one to break their hearts and separate them, but then they pull back. They're both holding back tears, but there’s a look of determination about both of them, and anticipation. This part of the plan has worked, the most important part. Now there’s hope.

Trini takes a deep breath and lets Kim go reluctantly. She digs into her satchel and hands Kimberly the clothes she brought for her (a nightgown, the easiest thing for Kim to slip into quickly) and the bow and arrow. "Cover up your assets and let's end this, princess."  Her voice is solid, but Jason can hear the emotion just beneath it. He can tell she wants nothing more than to spend this whole brief time together touching Kim.

Kimberly's eyes are shining as she straightens her spine, pulling the nightgown over her head and slinging the quiver over her shoulders, "Yes, let's..."

And with that, they burst in the door.

**

Kimberly isn't quite over the fact that she was able to touch Trini. All she wanted to do was stand there and stare, let the fact that they were normal again for even a few minutes wash over her (she'd also wanted to kiss her so badly it hurt, but she knew them both well enough to know if they'd started they wouldn't have stopped for a good long while, mission or no), but she knew it wasn't possible. They had to end this and they had to do it now.

The interior of the chapel is dark, lit only by the torches around the room. They can see Rita standing with their back to them in front of the altar. There doesn't appear to be anyone else in the chapel, but Kim can't question the lack of guards now.

Without hesitation, Kimberly nocks an arrow, aims and lets fly at Rita. There's a satisfying sound as it sinks into the middle of her back, the force of it knocking her forward. She rushes forward, Trini and Jason at her side. Trini has a knife in each hand. Kim shoots another arrow, hitting Rita in the shoulder this time, knocking her onto her hands and knees.

When they get to the altar, Trini doesn't hesitate, she delivers a vicious kick to Rita's midsection that knocks the other woman on her back, pushing the arrows in harder. Rita cries out.

The woman looks little changed from when they last saw her, perhaps a little older, but just as human as she did before. She's wearing the same cloak, the same pious green robes as she had before. Her eyes are frightened and astonished when she sees them. There's blood trickling from the side of her mouth. Kim can see the arrow in her shoulder poking through.

"No... no... how..."

Trini straddles the woman, pinning her arms with her knees and raising her knife. There was a time when Rita's frightened eyes and terrified voice might have given Trini pause, but that was a long time ago. Too much has happened since then, and most of it the fault of the woman below her. There's no time for hesitation, and their time is too short as it is. The totality is only supposed to last ten minutes, which is long for an eclipse but still too short to waste any time. Trini glances over at Kim, and there's hope in her eyes as she drives the knife towards Rita's exposed throat.

Hope that rapidly turns to astonishment and then fear as an unseen force knocks them both back hard. Trini slides across the floor and comes to a halt about ten feet away from Rita's prone body.

They watch in horror as Rita rises to her feet slowly. She grins at them as she pulls the arrows Kim put in her out and before their eyes, she changes. A corona of dark green light begins to radiate from her skin and her eyes glow bright as some sort of strange viscous liquid begins to pull itself, seemingly from underneath her skin, solidifying into what looks like a knight's armor only sleeker. It's metallic green like the carapace of a beetle. She thrusts out one hand and her golden staff appears in it seemingly out of thin air... but now instead of a simple jade in the center of the headpiece, the top is covered in strange glowing crystals, multicolored and pulsing.

Her face has the strangely inhuman cast that Kim remembers from the moment she cursed them, that horrible night almost two years ago.

Kimberly tries to snap out of her astonishment, get to her feet, but before she can really form the thought, Rita's hand shoots out and she's gripped the three of them in an invisible hold. Rita raises her arms, lifting Jason, Trini and Kimberly into the air, suspending them in their invisible bonds, helpless to lift a finger against her.

**

“Well, well, isn’t it so nice to see you all again,” Rita’s smile is broad and sharp of tooth. It makes her look deranged, inhuman, but when she speaks, she’s entirely calm and pleasant, and very, very smug. “Oh come now, don’t look so disappointed! You should be proud of yourself for figuring it out. Although you really should feel quite stupid for not having assumed I would know my own curse well enough to know this totality was your last chance.”

Trini strains against the force that’s keeping them in place. She can feel the power radiating off Rita in waves. The metallic green of her armor appears to be absorbing the darkness. Her golden staff is pulsing. It all feels unnatural, horribly wrong.

"As you can see, I've managed to mine enough zeo crystals to tap some very powerful forces," she gestures with the staff and they can feel another wave of power surround them. The crystals on the head of the staff pulse. "I had hoped you might stop by on this day at this time so I could show you. I know you'd be so proud to see what your wise decision to give your land to me has wrought. When the whole world is mine, they'll say your name with awe, Kimberly Hart."

Kim is glaring at her, but there's also a note of despair on her face that Trini can't stand to see there, "Kim, no... don't listen to her..."

"Oh don't worry, Deedee, she won't have to worry about it for long. You see, now that I have what I need, not even the darkest elder forces can damage me. I shall be able to harness the powers I want without her pathetic family's deep rooted protections..." she points the staff at Kimberly's chest, "I would love to keep you alive so you can truly suffer for this, but you've just proven you're a bit too resourceful for my taste, and I think you're exactly the sort that just might try to cause me trouble even if it meant never breaking the curse so... sadly, we must part. I can't thank you enough for all your help..."

And without another word, a pulse of deadly green light shoots from the staff, straight towards Kimberly.

**

Billy and Zack had burst into the back door of the chapel as soon as the sky had gone dark. Billy wanted nothing more than to sit and take notes and measurements on the eclipse, but he knew that this was more important. Zack had stayed in front of him, obviously expecting guards to rush them, but they hadn't seen any guards, only that odd lady at the altar. By the time they got inside, the lady was already on her hands and knees.

Zack stares as Trini rushes the woman and goes to stab her, and Billy can feel the anticipation of the moment like a buzzing in the air.  He doesn't like the thought of killing anyone, even if the lady is as bad as they say, but he wants Trini and Kimberly to be happy and human together. But then the woman rises up, and Zack and Billy had watched in horror as the woman revealed that she wasn't powerless at all. They're not sure what to do. Zack is tensing to move forward, muttering, "Can't let her do this...!"

Then the woman raises her staff at Kimberly... and Billy is moving before he even knows what he's doing. All he can think about is how Kimberly saved his life and that how it he wouldn't be a very good friend if he didn't at least _try_ to save hers in return...

**

Billy throws himself in front of the beam, and they all cry out as it hits him square in the chest… and bounces straight off what Billy's shredded clothes and leather armor reveal to be a solid metal breastplate, and hits Rita hard enough in her midsection to stagger her, her staff tumbling from her fingers. Kimberly feels the force that was holding her in place disappear suddenly. She drops to the ground in a heap, as do the others.

Rita is still on the ground. Kim turns to reach for Trini, to see if she's all right, to rally her for another try at this… but before she can speak, she feels the pull within her, that odd floating feeling that always comes before the change. She grits her teeth, risks a glance upwards, through one of the windows set near the ceiling of the church. The eerie corona around the blocked out sun is still there, but she knows that it’s almost over. No… no goddamit this was their chance, their only one.

The force of Rita's beam had flung Billy hard into one of the church's intricately carved wooden support columns, and he's lying in a motionless heap at the bottom of it. Jason rushes forward to pick Billy up and looks over at Kim, desperation in his eyes. Behind them, Rita is stirring...  she's so powerful... too powerful. Even down, even without her staff, they can _feel_ it.

“No! It’s our only chance!” there are tears of frustration and anger running down her face, blurring her vision, her teeth are gritted. The corona around the sun is burning itself into her eyes, but she can't look away. This was _it,_  this was all they had. She can hear Jason and Zack yelling, she can hear the doors of the chapel being flung open and footsteps rushing in, but there's a roaring in her ears that makes everything indistinct, a massive blur of noise. _This wasn't how this was supposed to happen_...

She feels a hand on her arm and starts. The touch is as familiar as her own, one she’s never forgotten, even after all this time, she whips her head around and finds Trini looking at her with sad, dark, eyes, “We have to go, Kim, we have to go or she’s going to kill us all or worse.”

For a minute, all thoughts of Rita are driven from her head. Trini is here and she’s touching her. It’s all she’s wanted for so long…

She opens her mouth to respond… and morphs into a falcon.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ..... sorrrry
> 
> honestly I intended for it to end like the movie (with the eclipse) but then I figured.... naaaah this is more fun... right??? 
> 
> let me know what you think if you'd like. 
> 
> see me on tumblr @ haughts-bulletproofvest (which may still be in the note that never dies below)


	12. Part VI - broken

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> the end game. bright lights, loud noises, and sharp knives.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> All right here it is: the last chapter of the main story. This one’s a bit of a rough ride, but stick with me (TRUST!). Enjoy….

part vi – broken

**

As Trini watches Kimberly morph back into a falcon, time seems to come to a complete halt. The pressure inside her chest and the pounding in her brain increase, until it feels like she’s having a heart attack and a stroke at the same time, and all of her senses are focused on the Kim in front of her, she is everything Trini can see and hear and feel. The rest of the world fades back into a dull roar, an insignificant buzzing in her ears. The hawk is looking at her with what almost seems like confusion, just staring, not moving restlessly or trying to fly, as though she can’t quite figure out what the hell has happened either.

Coherent thought has been stripped almost completely. All Trini can think is that _it didn’t work_. It was their last hope and it didn’t fucking work… despair rushes in like a tidal wave at the thought, overwhelming. The next total eclipse is forty years from now. There won’t be another chance to break the curse that guarantees both of them stay human until at least then, and for a split second she wants to pull a dagger from her belt and plunge it straight into her heart…

But then a hand lands on her shoulder, grabbing her tunic and yanking her to her feet ( _when did she fall down?)_ … Zack... The hawk, also stirred by the action, screeches and takes off, and all of a sudden the world comes rushing back into her in a rush, sound and light and movement forcing themselves back into her awareness. All around her is chaos. Rita is still on the floor, stunned by the blow she took from her own reflected magic (Trini still isn’t sure how Billy’s chest plate shielded him from it). Tyler Fleming in his absurd golden armor has emerged from whatever rock he was hiding under and stormed into the chapel along with a half dozen guardsmen. Rita wasn’t lying when she’d said she expected them.

She looks up at Zack, who’s still holding onto her, “Come on crazy girl! We have to get out of here!”

Trini looks around, Jason is supporting Billy with one arm while fighting off three men with the other, struggling to move them both towards the exit. Zack, having gotten her up off the floor, pulls her toward them. Tyler is helping Rita stand up. Rita’s hand has closed around her staff again. Trini knows that if she gets back on her feet, staff in hand, they’ll all be screwed. She pulls her daggers and goes to attack the closest man in her way, but is brought up short by the man’s appearance.

His eyes are empty, his face devoid of expression. There’s no feeling in it, as though his brain has been shut off. He moves precisely and skillfully, but without passion. Clearly this man is not in charge of his own faculties, and when she looks around, she can see none of the others are either. The man isn’t wearing armor, but is covered in what seems like stones and dirt from the mine, which provide effective protection from most of her blows. It looks cumbersome and seems as though it should be impeding his movements, but it doesn’t. Somehow he still moves just as smoothly as he would if he were unarmored.

As Trini watches, Jason manages to land a good hit on one of the men attacking him. The other soldiers are relentless but not particularly creative, as though they’ve been programmed with a certain number of moves and counter moves. She manages to carve her way through the ones standing between her and Zack and the door. The hawk is strafing the soldiers, talons and sharp beak digging into exposed faces and gaps in their strange rock shielding, distracting them from stopping the others.

They all slip out the door and find another dozen troops outside. However, they’re the same kind: the rock covered automatons. The more Trini looks at them, the more she thinks that not all of them are soldiers. Some of them look undernourished and overworked. With horror, she thinks that they must be some of the mine workers. She doesn’t know why Rita would have to use them, but she knows that it might be a genius move. Trini, Jason and Zack would never hurt an innocent person if they could help it.

Jason grunts as he readjusts Billy’s weight. Billy looks weak but is still on his feet with Jason’s help. He’s holding his short sword in a loose grip and trying to parry any shots that come at them from the side, but Trini isn’t sure how long he can stay upright. No matter how much of that blast reflected off the odd breastplate he’s wearing, it was obvious that it was a hell of a blow. It would most certainly have killed him without the armor (which she’s begun to suspect is magical… there’s no other explanation for what it did to Rita’s powerful magical beam; she’s not sure where he got it, but he had been disappearing with Zordon for long stretches during those last days at Madam Taylor’s cabin…)

“Back to the tunnel!” Jason yells.

Trini looks at Zack, “Go help him with Billy. We’ll move twice as fast if you do, and I can handle these guys.”

Zack nods, reluctantly. He doesn’t have time to argue, and he knows she’s capable of taking on more men than he is. They make their way back to the kitchens. They’re almost there when they see the doors of the chapel fly open and Rita re-appears. A green blast of energy scorches the air just over Jason’s head.

“FUCK!” growls Trini, parrying a sword, and putting one of her knives into the shoulder of one of her attackers, working the blade into the gap between two pieces of the rocky armor. She uses her grip on the knife to pivot the soldier and toss him into four others who are charging them.

They manage to get in through the door of the kitchens. Trini takes one last look up at the hawk, who screeches and soars up and over the wall of the castle, back towards the woods, before she follows the boys in and slams it behind them. She shoves the nearest table in front of it and then they run for the larder. The two kitchen boys they’d encountered before watch them in astonishment as the ragtag group huddles into the tunnel. Trini can only hope that Rita doesn’t know about the tunnel and will think they’re trapped, although she knows that’s unlikely. Rita can feel them, just like Trini can feel her. They only got as close as they did in the chapel because Rita wanted them to.

The tunnel seems longer than it was before. Billy is drifting in and out of consciousness by now, and Jason is practically dragging him, muttering, “Come on Billy, come on Billy” over and over as they make for the exit.

They emerge and Trini is relieved to see there’s no one waiting for them. They start up the hill. The 60 degree angle is fine for she and Zack, although he’s breathing hard halfway up. Jason, on the other hand, is struggling under Billy’s weight. He had picked the other boy up once they emerged from the tunnel, thinking it would be easier and gentler than dragging him up the hill. He was probably right, but it’s slow going for him. They get halfway up when Tyler Fleming and a dozen soldiers come streaming around the castle.

Rita is behind them, striding along unhurriedly, her staff in hand, her face set into a smug grin. She looks like a woman who believes all her problems are about to be solved. She’s practically glowing with power, and Trini can feel it radiating off her even from here.

The soldiers and Tyler start up the hill. Jason, Trini and Zack try to up their speed, but Jason can’t move that quickly and neither Trini nor Zack will leave him undefended. They’re almost to the top of the hill when the soldiers catch up. Zack and Trini try to hold them off, and the falcon is strafing them, coming at them with talons bared, but someone gets around them, and raises their sword to attack Jason. Jason tries to shift his body so that the blow doesn’t land solidly, so that Billy is protected… Trini is sure the blow is going to take Jason hard in the arm… but then an arrow slams into his attacker’s shoulder, sending him flying back down the hill, taking two other men with him.

They look behind them and see Zordon at the top of the rise with a bow in his hand. With him providing cover, they manage to get to the top of the hill fast without taking any more serious blows. The old man takes Billy from Jason with surprising gentleness and strength and hurries with him back across the stream and towards the camp without another word.

Trini is last up the hill. She’s been engaging in a running battle with Tyler, knocking him back, every few steps. Tyler is grim faced and sneering but strangely quiet. There’s something about his eyes as well, something wary and guarded and almost wounded that makes her think perhaps his time with Rita hasn’t been as rewarding as he had hoped, golden armor or not… not that she gives a shit.

She hears a screech and instinctively glances around, looking for the hawk. Her moment of distraction allows Tyler to get in under her guard with what seems like a bit of his own unnatural speed. He knocks her dagger out of the way and shoulder checks her. She goes down hard just over the crest of the hill, and Tyler, a grim smile on his face, raises his sword, Trini’s hand darts to her bandolier, grabbing another dagger. Even with his speed, she should be able to parry most of the blow…

But then the falcon comes screeching down, a flurry of feathers, talons reaching, beak scratching. The attack isn’t like the ones she’s been doling out up to now, which were quick hits to distract and turn them away from the retreating group, this one is meant to wound badly.

Tyler bellows in fury and pain as the bird hooks a talon into one of his eyes through his eye slit. His movements become frantic, every one punctuated with a whimpered grunt of pain, and he swats at the bird blindly with his sword. He misses the falcon, who hooks another vicious talon his cheek, splitting it open deeply, and ends up slicing into his own arm. The falcon darts away with a self-satisfied squawk as Tyler staggers backwards down the hill, tripping over his own feet and then tumbling back to the bottom, where he rolls onto his back, holding his face. Trini grins at her and scrambles to get up, intending to head towards the stream and the camp where the others were arrayed in a defensive stance. She sees Zordon kneeling over Billy’s still form further back, behind the tents, and hopes that the boy is all right.

Before she can get her feet underneath her, she sees Rita, who somehow is halfway up the hill, much closer than she should’ve been able to get, raise her staff. A green bolt of light like the one she aimed at Billy comes arcing out. The falcon has her back turned towards Rita, and Trini’s cry of warning has barely emerged from her throat when it hits her.

The bird is only about four feet off the ground when the light hits her. The force of the impact propels her back into the woods, across the stream. Trini feels like the ground is spinning beneath her feet as she watches the bird go flying. Her limbs stop responding to her commands and she’s frozen to the spot, unable to move, unable even to collapse. Tears are streaming down her face but she barely notices.

Before the bird even hits the ground, she’s morphing. By the time Kimberly slides hard into the dirt, shoulder first, she’s a human again. She scrapes along about three feet before coming to rest, curled onto her side, limbs splayed unnaturally. Zack leaves his position next to Jason and runs back towards her, sliding to his knees beside her, pulling her up on his lap while he checks her pulse, her eyes… but before he even looks at her, eyes wide and bleak, tears falling silently, Trini _knows._

She felt it before Kimberly even hit the ground, felt like something vital had been ripped from inside of her, like there’s now a yawning void where the girl she loves used to be. The curse had linked them in some fundamental way, she’d always known that, but she hadn’t realized just how much of herself was taken up with the other girl. She stares at Kim’s unmoving body in Zack’s lap. Jason is staring too, blue eyes drowning in tears, Zack is leaning over Kimberly protectively, saying something in Chinese, his voice desperate.

Kim’s body is turned away from Trini, curled in a ball, so all Trini can see is her back and her brown hair, short and messy and perfect. Her senses of smell and hearing are beyond human, and she can’t hear Kimberly breathing.

Trini looks at them and staggers back a step . No no no no no... this can't be happening. This wasn't how it was supposed to work. They were supposed to kill this bitch and live together happily ever after like some sort of damn fairy tale. The damn eclipse worked, it was supposed to be their moment. Their curse was finally supposed to be broken. She throws her head back and howls out her pain

As the echoes of her despair fade, she hears Rita behind her… _laughing._

“Oh Deedee, don’t be sad! I put her out of her misery, and I’m going to do the same to you. I’ll be doing you a favor you see! Keeping you from realizing how truly pathetic your life will be deprived of everything that was giving you a reason to live.”

Trini forces her eyes away from Kimberly’s still form and turns towards Rita. Rita’s eyes are green and glowing, her teeth sharp as razors, a devil’s smile on her face. She thinks that this is going to break Trini. She thinks that this is going to make her weak and vulnerable, make her give up.

Clearly, Rita doesn’t know her very well. Trini squares up to Rita, standing tall. As she does so, she feels the empty space in the center of her being where Kimberly was being filled up with something else. Something raw and primal and full of rage. It’s a lot like what she felt when she was tearing into the mercenaries who shot Kimberly down the last time (a month ago that feels like a lifetime now), only there’s more to it than just her own strength, her own emotions.

As she pulls two knives from her belt, she feels something sparking deep inside her, something she’s never really felt before. Real power. It almost seems to be coming from the ground below her feet, crawling up through her boots and into the rest of her, feeding her anger, feeding her strength. She leans forward into a fighting stance and finds herself bearing her teeth at Rita, a growl tearing out of her throat that sounds a lot more like the wolf she is at night than the girl she’s supposed to be right now.

Something must flash in her eyes when she does it because for just the barest moment, Rita _flinches_.

“She wasn’t the _only_ thing I was living for, you bitch,” Trini snarls, and then she tears forward, moving with inhuman speed towards Rita, who just barely manages to get her staff up. The staff slams into Trini’s midsection hard. It knocks her back, but not nearly as hard as it’s intended to.

She manages to keep her feet and digs the heels of her boots in, stopping her movement as her hands shoot out. She drops her knives and the grabs the staff before Rita can retract it. Trini feels the power surge through her as she twists the staff hard, trying to wrest it from Rita’s grip, but Rita, now less smug than infuriated by Trinis’ refusal to go down quietly, is better prepared for her newfound strength and pulls back hard.

It throws Trini off balance. She pitches forward and finds Rita’s foot waiting for her, slamming hard into the center of her chest. This time she goes tumbling backwards hard, sliding through the dirt and landing half in the stream. Rita raises her staff and the invisible force that grabbed them in the chapel slams into her again, lifting her up. Trini struggles against it… and unlike before, she can feel the force giving way.

It’s as though when Kim died, Trini’s power doubled somehow. Rita grimaces as she feels Trini fighting against her. She gestures with the staff, slamming Trini down hard again, this time in the center of the stream. She advances on her and shoots one of her green beams.

Trini scrambles to her feet, and dodges the beam, charging Rita again, another knife in her hand, but Rita’s arm moves in a blur and this time the end of the staff slams hard into Trini’s jaw.

Pain explodes from her jaw up through the top of her skull and as she goes flying again, landing on the near edge of the stream again.

“You can have all the power you want, little wolf girl. You can take her life force and her connection to this land and its protections and all the magic I might have imbued in you both when I first cursed you, but you will _never_ be as powerful as I am. The elder forces are mine to control! The crystals give me more power than anything you could _possibly_ imagine!” she’s advancing on Trini slowly, wary of any sudden moves.

Trini pushes herself up again, ignoring the pain radiating through her head. This time she whips a knife at Rita with so much speed that no human could dodge it. Rita steps aside as though it were nothing, brings the staff up so fast it’s a blur and directs the knife back at Trini. Trini dodges, but not in time. It was intended for the center of her chest, but ends up buried in her shoulder up to the hilt, the force of it driving Trini back hard.

She lands with bone crushing force, her feet in the stream, the top half of her body on the side of the water where their camp is. Behind her she knows Jason and Zack, Billy and Zordon are there. Everything has happened so quickly that they haven’t had a chance to properly react. She grimaces as she scrambles backwards. Her feet are solid ground now, the stream the only thing between she and Rita. A new wave of agony radiates from her shoulder as she staggers to her feet again, more slowly this time.

As she stands, she sees Rita gesturing with her staff again. Another bolt of green light flies at her. She avoids it by diving sideways. The move isn’t pretty and she ends up on the ground in an inelegant heap.

Rita still looks flawless and uninjured, but her formerly smug expression has turned to pure anger. Her green eyes are flashing bright now, and her face has turned into something horrible, ridged and inhuman. Behind her, the soldiers have stopped moving without her directing them, even unconsciously. Her attention is entirely focused on Trini.

Well, almost her entire attention. Trini hears Jason saying, “Leave her alone!” and charging forward. Rita gestures with her staff and knocks him back hard. Trini turns in time to see Jason go flying into one of the tents, collapsing it partially.

Trini goes to raise herself and cries out as she tries to put weight on her injured arm.

“I am going to kill you, Deedee, and I am not going to be quick about it. You have interfered with what should have been my moment of triumph,” she punctuates this with a vicious downstroke, and Trini feels the invisible force hit her with sledgehammer force in the side. It feels like her ribs are being caved in. The force of the blow propels her back another few feet, and now she finds herself backed up to where Zack is sitting, Kimberly still in his lap.

“And when I’m done with you, I’ll kill your little friends,” Rita smiles, “Too foolish to run away, too foolish to abandon you…”

Rita keeps moving forward, slowly as though she has all the time in the world. Trini tries to move, to get back up, but the pain in her side is too much. She can hear things grinding inside of her, and she resists the urge to pass out. Whatever power had been granted to her is being overwhelmed by the severity of her wounds. Perhaps if she’d had more time to train, she’d know how to channel it correctly, to ease her own pain, but as it is, all she can do is watch as Rita steps across the stream and takes two steps forward, raising her staff. She can’t even speak because she’s pretty sure her jaw is broken.

The sorceress’s eyes flash, “I am going to enjoy this…”

She begins to thrust her staff forward in a stabbing movement, but before she can complete she suddenly stops dead, frozen in place. She tilts her head, as though responding to a call only she can hear… and then her eyes fly wide open. She only manages to say, “no…” quietly before her staff starts to vibrate in her hands.

The crystals at the top, which had been pulsing with an odd green glow, are flashing white, as brightly as the sun, engulfing the entire clearing at the same time as the ground below begins to rumble. Trini turns instinctively to shield Kim and Zack, hunching over them while trying to keep her eye on what’s happening by the creek.

What she sees is both horrifying and strangely beautiful. Rita is engulfed in white light and cold blue flame. In the center of the brightness, Trini can see her body being seized by an invisible force, lifted off the ground. Throbbing waves of sound, like the roaring of the ocean a storm, originating inside the corona of light, are filling the clearing. Invisible waves of pressure are washing over them, knocking Rita’s puppet soldiers back down the hill, bearing down on Zack and Trini, keeping them from moving. An inhuman roar of frustration and pure fury escapes from the center of the conflagration, audible above even the roaring pulses of noise.

There’s one final pulse of deafening noise and blinding light. It forces them to turn away. They hear a tinkling explosion, like the shattering of a thousand panes of glass at once, and Trini feels a wave of primal energy washing over her. It’s like the one she felt only moments ago when Rita hit Kim with her beam, only a million times more intense.

It hits her hard, forcing her to dig her fingers into the ground in order to stay in place, and she feels some unseen force, full of buzzing power, filling her up again. As it washes through her, she feels her wounds healing. The pressure and sharp pain in her ribs falls away, the knife in her shoulder literally _forces itself out_ , clattering to the ground as the cut mending. There’s a sharp crack as her jaw slides back into place.

Then, just as quickly as it started, the light, the sound, the pressure… all of it dissipates, as though it had never existed in the first place.

Trini opens her eyes slowly and looks around. Zack and Jason are both unconscious. Kimberly is still lying limply across Zack’s lap. Billy and Zordon are behind them, between the tents. Billy has been knocked out, but Zordon is somehow still conscious, although he looks dazed. Trini thinks she ought to be just as out of it as they are, but… she feels stronger than she ever has before. This isn’t like earlier, when her rage was fueling whatever extra power she got. Now, she just feels as though she is invincible. She looks down at her shoulder, confirming that her wound is mended and the knife is gone. She rotates her jaw, feeling that it’s whole. She looks at her hands… even her callouses are gone… and she might be insane, but she thinks she sees a glow emanating from them, a soft yellow light that pulses slightly when she breathes.

It’s Rita’s voice that snaps her back to the present. “NO!!!!” she cries, “HOWWW!!!?”

Trini gets herself to her feet as she turns towards Rita, who is crumpled in a heap on the ground, trying to push herself up. The green armor is gone, as is the inhuman face she’d been wearing. She’s dressed only in her green robes, now tattered and torn. Her staff is still clutched in her hand, but the head of it has exploded and it’s smoking quietly. The gold of the shaft is blackened and tarnished.

Zordon’s voice rings through the clearing, “You forgot your own curse, Madam…”

Rita glares past Trini, her eyes going wide, “ _YOU!_ ”

Trini frowns back at Zordon, “You know her?” She’s surprised to hear that her voice sounds odd now, resonant, as though there’s more than one of her speaking at the same time.

“We knew each other, a long time ago, when I was at this Fortress as a young man. I did not know what she would become, but I felt her wrongness even then. Had I had all my faculties, had I not lost so much of myself in the East, I might have done something about her then.”

“You used us?”

“No. I was trying to help you as much as I could. There was little I could do to work against her, no vulnerability I knew that Li had not already described. I could only offer you advice and guidance, help you with what little knowledge I had, like the enchantment on the breastplate I gave to Billy. And I can tell you that his theory was right.”

“ _Billy_??” snarls Rita, using her staff to pull herself to her feet. Trini slides over a step, putting her between Zordon and Rita. “That creature there?” she scoffs.

“That ‘creature’ knew your magic better than you. You swore a blood oath not to pursue Kimberly or Trini or anyone with them beyond the bounds of Lord Hart’s lands. That stream is the boundary, and as soon as you crossed it intending her harm, you had broken it.”

“The penalty for violating a blood oath is death,” mutters Trini, trying to remember all she’s learned in the past two years, “She’s still pretty alive,” she addresses Zordon, but her eyes never leave Rita, who is frozen in place, shaking, trying to get herself together. It’s an odd sight. She’s never seen Rita look anything other than entirely confident and in control. To see her out of sorts is both odd and strangely reassuring. As is the amount of power she can feel thrumming through her own veins.

“The zeo crystals had given her a massive amount of power and protection. Violating the blood oath would normally have killed her, but instead it simply stripped away the crystal’s protection.”

Rita snarls, “I still have my magic!” and raises her staff without preamble and pointing it at Trini. Another beam of green light comes arcing out. Trini raises her hand instinctively… and watches as the beam goes bouncing off of it harmlessly.

Trini looks down at her hand, “ _Madre de Dios_ …” she frowns as she makes her hand into a fist, closes her eyes and decides to test her limits. She thinks the word “armor” and feels something prickling along her skin. She looks down and watches as scales of shiny yellow armor start to emerge from underneath her skin and form around her.

Rita watches too, stunned, “What…?”

Zordon’s voice is awed, quiet, “You were connected,” he says softly, as though he’s trying to work it through himself, “You were connected by the curse you made, by the blood oath you swore. Yes, you swore it with Lady Kimberly, but you cursed them both and then connected them to each other… there was so much magic in those crystals…”

Trini looks at her hand, “I got the magic?”

“You got some of it… a _lot_.”

“No…” Rita repeats, “NOOO!” She turns towards Trini and launches herself at her, literally propels herself into the air so she’s flying the short distance towards her, her staff drawn back, obviously intending to bring the thing down on her head, anger and rage and frustration obviously taking away her ability to think clearly. Trini doesn’t have time to do much, even to reach for her knives.

Almost reflexively she draws her hand back and sweeps it forward in one swift smooth motion. She lands a vicious backhanded slap on the side of Rita’s face. There’s a noise like metal clashing on metal, and Trini can see what almost looks like sparks at the point of impact, green and yellow light crashing together. Rita clearly still has some of her magic, enough to keep her own protective field up… but Trini has more. The hit sends Rita flying backwards. She hits the trunk of a tree hard, a bone rattling impact that puts a massive crack in the trunk. The sound of splintering wood fills the clearing, and Rita goes down in a heap again.

Growling a string of curses in a language Trini doesn’t recognize, Rita pushes herself to her feet with a sinuousness that’s entirely inhuman. She glares at Trini, but Trini can tell the other woman is still feeling the hit. There’s a string of odd dark green blood trickling from her mouth. When she moves towards Trini this time, it’s not nearly as fast.

Rita approaches almost warily, no longer taunting, putting all of her effort into the fight for possibly the first time, but it’s almost too late for that. Trini can _see_ differently now. She feels like time is slowing just for her, like she can map distances, speeds in a way she hadn’t before. Rita raises her staff as she approaches and then brings it down hard, eyes flashing green.

Trini grabs a knife in each hand and watches as they begin to glow with that odd golden light. Everything seems to happen in slow motion as she blocks Rita’s staff, creating a spray of eerie yellow sparks, then twists around, forcing the staff into the ground, pulling Rita off and to the side as Trini sidesteps. She sweeps her foot into Rita’s legs and watches as the other woman goes down hard, onto her hands and knees once again.

The blow Trini had dealt her was hard enough to wind her badly, and she’s still reeling from hitting the tree. Trini spins around and plants both of her knives into Rita’s back. The sorceress cries out in pain. Trini lets go of the knives, grabs Rita by her shoulder and shoves her over roughly onto her back. The knives sink in further, and Rita snarls at the feeling.

Trini drops down on top of her, exactly as she had in the chapel, her knees planted firmly on Rita’s arms, her weight bearing down on her midsection so she can’t move. She knows that with the amount of power coursing through her, she could do any number of things to Rita, spells and powers and curses … anything she could possibly imagine, but Trini doesn’t care about any of it. Not about power, or magic, or the elder forces, or taking over the world. The only thing she wanted was to be able to love the girl she wanted to and for everyone to just leave them the fuck alone to be who they wanted to be.

And this woman, this creature, below her has taken it all away. She could do anything she wanted to Rita, dark things, awful, cruel, evil things, and there’s some nagging dark voice in the back of her head that is telling her that she should do them… a voice that sounded a lot like Rita’s cruel hiss. She pushes it away.

Rita is glaring up at her with pure unadulterated loathing. Her face is contorted with pain, but her hatred is unabated. “You can torture me all you want, kill me how you want, little wolf, but you will never have her back…”

Trini feels the tears welling up in her eyes, but she holds them back. She won’t share her pain to this woman, not like this. Rita has taken far too much from her already. A dozen quips come to mind. She knows that if she were Zack or even Kimberly she’d punctuate all of this with a pithy comment, some final verbal blow. But words aren’t her strength. She takes no pleasure in dealing out death, and with Kim gone, there’s no real satisfaction to be derived from this act, except to know that Rita will never hurt anyone again.

So she simply glares down at Rita and draws one of her razor sharp knives across her throat.

Trini isn't sure what she's expecting. After the lightshow that happened when Rita broke her oath, she thought there'd be more fanfare, more fire and blood. Instead, Rita makes a series of choked, wet sounds, gurgling breaths that devolve into sputtering gasps. Her green-black blood spurts from her wound, staining Trini’s odd yellow armor. Her hands twitch under Trini's knees, as she tries to put her hands to her throat.

She just looks like a normal person dying. Trini watches as the life goes out of her eyes, and the final breath fades from her lips, and only then does she feel a wave of force, significantly less powerful than the one before, go rolling out from Rita's body. It's cold and dark and feels like a decaying corpse looks. The body below her, with the spirit gone, begins to change rapidly. Trini scrambles backwards, off Rita, as she watches the body age rapidly and decay before her eyes, until all that remains is a pile of dust and some tattered clothes.

She sweeps her boot through the ashes, just to make sure there's no more, and then turns away. Rita is gone. The curse is broken. She doesn't want a minute more of her life to be taken up by the woman.

Even as she feels as powerful as she ever has before, can feel the magic coursing through her like fire, an overwhelming despair settles on her. She turns towards where Kimberly's body lies and takes a series of slow, stuttering steps towards her. When she gets there, she falls to her knees. The armor retracts into her body and she’s just herself again.

Trini pulls Kim into her arms and lets herself cry.

**

Zordon comes to her after Zack and Jason have regained consciousness. Neither of them have approached her, not knowing what to say, and she figured Zordon might be the same, but he doesn’t know her as well as they do. He kneels down next to her, but before he can say anything, she holds up her hand, which still has a faint glow.

“I have all this fucking power. People would kill for it. Rita probably did kill for it… and I don’t want anything to fucking do with it. The only person I want is dead. The only thing I want died with her. So...” she shakes her head, angrily.

Zordon frowns, “I know… I was just… thinking.”

Trini looks down at Kimberly. She’s covered her up with one of the blankets. She hasn’t moved since she pulled the body onto her lap. She doesn’t want to move. She wants to grow into this spot like a tree because at least then she’d never have to leave her. She doesn’t have the energy to talk to Zordon right now. She doesn’t know what else he could possibly say. “Look, Zordon, I know you’re just tryin’ to help, here but, unless you can bring her back to life… I just… _can’t_ …” she shakes her head.

Zordon disappears and Trini goes back to staring down at Kim. The light is beginning to fade from the clearing. Around her, she senses movement, she can feel Zack and Jason moving around, she can feel Billy stirring. She can even feel traces of their emotions, like somehow whatever power she has allows her to sense those things now. She knows Jason’s relieved about Billy and worried about her and so, so devastated about Kimberly. He knows Zack is upset about Kimberly but more worried about Trini and the fact she hasn’t moved.

Trini looks up and watches as the sky grows darker. Night is approaching. For the first time in two years, she doesn’t feel anything pulling at her. No force tugging her consciousness towards the change, no feeling like her time as a wolf is coming close. As the sun finally touches the horizon, she feels a small spike of what can only be described as wolfishness pass through her head, a sense of wind in her fur, the feeling of anticipation for the hunt, the ghost sensation of a hand behind her ears scratching until her eyes roll back in her head… but then it’s gone, and all that’s left is her.

By the time Zordon returns, a half moon has risen over the tops of the trees and Trini is staring at it with something like awe. Billy, a bandage wrapped around his chest, leaning heavily on Jason, is trailing behind him, his steps still slow and careful. Zordon is carrying a large, ponderous looking leather-bound book, one she’s never seen before and Billy has his notebook.

Jason helps Billy sit down gingerly near Trini’s feet as Zordon crouches next to her, “I think we have found a solution to this problem.”

She looks at him, frowning, “Problem? A solution to death?” she laughs unable to keep the skeptical bitterness out of it, “Look, Zordon, I know you studied some weird shit in China, but if they knew a way around _this_ they’d have been selling it.”

Perhaps to his credit, he doesn’t respond to her cynicism, simply goes on in his usual calm, kind tone, “This situation is unprecedented. That’s why it took me so long to find something I thought may work,” he points to the book. Trini sighs. She doesn’t want to look, to see the false hope being presented to her. She looks at Zordon, then at Jason, crouched next to Billy, who is looking a lot like she feels. But then her eyes light on Billy himself, who is looking exhausted and hurt but who has still evidently spent the last few hours helping Zordon figure all this out. He’s got a look about him like he _believes_ this could work. Really believes it.

For some reason, she can’t bring herself to be entirely fatalistic in the face of Billy’s faith. She turns her attention to the book. Zordon points to an illustration of a person who appears to be glowing, “The power that Rita imparted to you through your connection, after she broke the blood oath… it healed you, did it not?”

She nodded, “Yeah. Instantly.”

“And Jason tells me that when you were in the chapel, Lady Kimberly shot Rita.”

“Twice. Dead on. Should’ve incapacitated her, maybe even killed her.”

He nods, “One of the things the power of these crystals imparts is the power of healing. It is near immortality. It heals the signs of aging, it takes away all but the most extreme injuries.”

“Excellent. I get to live a long life without Kimberly. Thanks for the good news.”

Billy speaks now, “We can bring her back to life. At least I think we can. I mean, Zordon thinks that since you were linked the way you were, that he’s found a way to transfer your power to her. It would probably require all of it, and since she’s been… been gone for so long, bringing her back would use it all up but we could try it. It would be kind of complicated, but if you give it up freely and…”

“Anything. I will give up anything to bring her back.”

Zordon looks at her seriously, “If this doesn’t work, Trini, it might kill you too. This is all theoretical. Working with these kinds of forces is extremely dangerous and incredibly unpredictable. And as I told you when I first met you, I am sensitive to the forces, but not as adept as some.”

“If there’s even the barest chance, I want to do it. She would do the same for me.” She suddenly understands why Zack isn't here. He would never tell her _not_ to do it, but there's no way he would be able to watch her die like this. He'd have her back any day of the week, but not for something where he would feel entirely powerless to actually help her.

Zordon nods, turns a page in his book, "Very well. Are you ready?"

Trini frowns, "You don't need to take a minute? Prepare yourself or something?"

"No. That's what we've been doing, and the sooner we can get this done, the better. The longer she's like this..."

"Okay."

Zordon puts one hand on her forehead and one hand on Kim's. Trini puts her hand over Kimberly's, which is still oddly warm for someone who's been dead for an hour. Zordon closes his eyes and starts muttering under his breath, odd words, foreign words. Some instinct within her tells her that this is the language of the elder forces.

As she watches, she starts to glow, she can feel a surge her chest, as the power begins to drain. It gathers in her center and flows through her towards the point where Zordon's hand is, dry and warm. She expects the power leaving her to make her feel empty, as Kim's death had, but there isn't the same sense of loss. The power flows out, but it leaves behind a feeling of warmth.

Once the glow leaves her, she can't track it anymore. It disappears into Zordon, and soon all she can see is the old man with one hand on her and one hand on Kim, chanting quietly. Trini watches Kimberly's face closely, searching it for any signs of life.

Then suddenly, Zordon stiffens, going bolt upright as he begins to glow, just like Trini had. He grits his teeth, perhaps more overwhelmed by the power than her. He keeps chanting determinedly, although there’s tension and effort behind the words, and she tracks the power as it moves through him and into Kimberly and she begins... glowing.

All of the light leaves Zordon, and he moves the hand that's on Trini over to Kim, taking her wrist. He chants louder now, the light surrounding Kim gets brighter. Zordon is visibly tiring, whatever he's doing is taking a lot out of him. Finally, he pulls his hands away, falling backwards with a groan.

Jason rushes forward, sliding down next to Zordon, pulling him up, "Zordon, are you okay?"

The old man nods weakly, "Took... a little more out of me... than I thought..."

Trini looks from Zordon back at Kimberly. The light is still surrounding her. Trini can feel her heart pounding as she watches it swirl around her... and then, abruptly, it light disappears.

Kimberly remains still, unmoving. Trini leans forward, reaches a hand towards her, "Please..." she says, so quietly she's not even sure she's spoken aloud.

The others are quiet as well, holding their breath, staring at Kim. All they can hear is Zordon's labored breathing.

Five minutes go by, then ten. With each passing minute, she feels her heart sinking. She looks at Zordon, who looks half dead. She searches his eyes for any sign of hope, for any sign that maybe something is going to happen... he blinks slowly, despair in the depths of his eyes. Then he looks away.

"No..." Trini says, she feels like all she's done since the eclipse is feel torn apart by forces beyond her control, one disastrous horrible thing piling up on another, and this is the last straw. The final hope, torn away. She stares at Kimberly's unmoving features, and then stands abruptly. "I can't... I'm sorry... I..."

She turns towards the woods, wishing for the first time that she could turn into a wolf, forget everything and just run away...

She's about to take off when there's a sudden gasp from behind her. Billy says, "Oh my lord..." his voice thick with unshed tears and awe.

Trini turns... just in time to see Kimberly sit up, gasping for breath, coughing and choking as she tries to take in more air than she should. Her eyes are wide and frantic, and her hands are on her throat. Trini doesn't even realize she’s moving. In the blink of an eye, she's on her knees next to Kimberly, her hands on her shoulders, "Kimberly... Kim... _Dios mio_ …”

Kimberly seems to track Trini’s voice, she looks at her. It takes her a moment to focus. She's still gasping in breaths like she's just come back from drowning, but some of the hysteria of her movements is fading. Trini moves her hands from Kim's shoulders down to her wrists, gripping them gently, feeling for her pulse, not believing this is real despite the fact that Kimberly's brown eyes have locked on hers and refuse to look away.

There are tears pouring from Kim's eyes. "Trini... it really is you...” her voice is raspy and hoarse and barely there, but it’s the most glorious sound Trini’s ever heard, “I had a dream that I had lost you, I was trying so hard to come back it... I followed a light," she shakes her head, "Fucking books are right after all..." Then she surges forward and grabs Trini in a bone crushing hug.

Trini buries her head in Kimberly's shoulder, crying so hard she can barely breathe, let alone speak.

After a minute she feels Jason put his arms around them, and she knows he’s crying. Footsteps pound into the clearing, and suddenly Zack is there as well. Billy joins them after a moment, tentatively putting a hand on Trini's shoulder and Jason's.

She's feeling too warm and slightly crushed, and the amount of contact would normally give her an itch, but right now in this moment she couldn't care less.

She's dirty and tired and hungry and sore, and she's just willingly given up immortality, but she all of that is entirely irrelevant. Kimberly Hart is in her arms, alive and whole and human, and that is the only thing the world that matters.

**

Later, they sit on the crest of the hill and watch the sun rise, Kimberly’s head on Trini’s shoulder, a blanket wrapped around both of them. At some point, Kim dressed in a pair of Jason’s pants and one of his shirts. They were both exhausted and emotionally drained after all that happened. After their initial greeting, the boys had left them alone to get re-acquainted, but there was no big romantic scene. It was strangely low key and anticlimactic. After all the time apart, they were too tired to do much except hold one another. In all honestly, Kimberly was just happy to be alive and in Trini’s arms. Everything else would wait.

Outside of a few fervent kisses, they hadn’t done much since then either. Partly because the camp wasn’t that big and the tents weren’t soundproof (Kim thought she’d rather their proper reunion be in an actual bed with some modicum of privacy), but mostly because they didn’t have the energy. She’d given Trini a tired smile and said, “The body is willing, but the flesh is very, very tired… and recently resurrected.”

Trini had laughed through a fresh wave of tears and just held her. “I’ve waited two years, I can wait a little longer.” But really, she could’ve cared less, and Kim knew it. Trini had looked at her as though she were the most precious treasure that ever existed. She had given up near infinite power to bring her back. She would do _anything_ for her, and Kimberly (in addition to knowing that she would’ve done the exact same thing) would do anything to be worthy of that sacrifice.

They’ve been silent for a while, too tired for words, too tired for much of anything except reveling in the fact that they _can_ do this, that they have the luxury and freedom to simply be here, holding one another. That they don’t have to worry about turning into animals, or Kimberly getting married, or Trini’s status, or anyone else’s judgment. In this moment, they can just be two people in love.

Kim nestles further into Trini’s side and sighs with contentment. She’s been keeping a list in her head of every single thing that she’s grateful for, big and small, and she thinks that Trini’s solid warmth, the way they fit together so easily might be near the top of the list.

When the sun clears the horizon, Kimberly has a fleeting impression of floating, of the wind rushing by her while she dove from the sky, of beak and claw and feathers, but then it’s gone. She feels tears prick at her eyes. It’s been so long since she’s seen the sun like this, since she’s witnessed the dawning of a new day. It fills her with lightness and hope, feelings that have been so foreign to her recently that she almost laughs at their novelty.

“I wonder if we can still morph,” she says softly, taking Trini’s free hand in her own, running her fingertips over the strangely smooth palm. Trini had said the power she’d had so briefly had healed all of her old wounds, taken all her old scars, even removed the callouses on her hands. Kim hopes that she gets them back soon. She’d always kind of liked Trini’s rough hands, even if she was always painstakingly gentle with them.

Trini laughs, the sound resonating through her chest and lifting Kim’s heart. She’ll never get tired of listening to that laugh, “You so eager to go back hunting small mammals, princess?”

Kim grimaces, “Well not that! Some things I’m quite glad I don’t remember, but I have scattered impressions of good feelings. Things like flying, freedom… soaring. And it’s nice. Does that sound idiotic?”

“No. There’s something to be said for freedom and running around with the wind in your fur. And vigorous belly rubs…” she goes a bit red, and laughs, “I mean, I don’t _remember_ but…”

Kimberly looks over at her, “We’ll have to figure it out. I wouldn’t mind a break.”

Trini chuckles, “Some extra exercise might be nice…”

They’re silent for a moment longer. When Kim speaks again, she’s thoughtful, “Things are going to be hard for a while.”

“Princess, things have been fucking hard for the last two years. In comparison to dealing with the curse and being on the run with no resources for two years, taking back control of your lands and repairing the damage that bitch is going to be dead simple.”

Kim laughs, “Such faith in our abilities.”

“As long as we’re together, I’m not sure there’s anything we can’t do. We defeated ancient evil and broke a powerful curse didn’t we?” Trini looks over at her, smiling, eyebrow raised, “I wouldn’t want to fuck with us.”

Kimberly smiles back, still not quite over the fact that Trini is here and human and that they can do such simple things as laugh and smile and make stupidly grandiose proclamations and hold one another. She kisses her, just because she can. They part a moment later, breathless, having been interrupted when Kim’s started stomach growling insistently.

Trini laughs, “Not very ladylike, _amor_.”

“Even love can’t stop me wanting breakfast,” Kim replies. She can’t honestly remember the last time she ate. Regardless of when it was, she’s morphed multiple times and died since then, so she thinks she can be forgiven for being ravenous.

Trini stands and holds her hand out, Kimberly takes it and gets to her feet. Their hands stay linked as they walk back towards the camp, where Billy is talking animatedly and Jason is smiling at him and nodding while Zack is preparing something in the cast iron cookpot that smells amazing. Zordon isn’t in sight, but Kim knows the moved him into one of the tents to rest after she came back.

Kim looks at them, the family she’s made, and thinks of the truth in Trini’s words. Things will be difficult, the future is entirely uncertain. Making sure the protections on her land are back in place, regaining her position, ensuring that the zeo crystals are concealed again… all of this will be difficult. It will take time and patience and effort. But as long as she has Trini beside her and Jason, Zack and Billy supporting her, she’s not sure there’s anything she can’t do, and she knows there’s no one else she’d rather have at her side.

Her life may never be the fairy tale she imagined it might be when she was a little girl, but as she takes a bowl of porridge from Zack and sits next to Trini to eat it, basking in the sunlight for the first time in two years, she’s pretty sure that what she has is even better.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Whew, well there it is: 100k plus of pure medieval cursed were-animal fun. I seriously haven’t ever written anything that long in my life, and I’m not even sure how it turned into this, I just went where the story took me lol. I hope you all liked it. (I know I might have worried some of you, but I’m a romantic at heart and fanfic is where I like to have things work out well). Please let me know what you think if you’d like.
> 
> Despite the complete chapter count, I’m planning on turning out an epilogue at some point that I’ll probably add to this. I’m not generally a “write by request” fanfic author, but if there’s anything you’d like to see let me know. No guarantees but I’ll see if I can work it in. I’m not necessarily averse to prompts either, although I couldn’t guarantee when I’d get to them.
> 
> Thanks for sticking with me and a million billion thank yous and undying gratitude for all the amazing comments and reviews and messages. I appreciate every single one of them!
> 
> You can catch me on tumblr @ haughts-bulletproofvest

**Author's Note:**

> There you go. Hopefully you enjoyed. I'll warn you now that although this is a Trimberly fic, there's not a whole lot of Trimberly interaction for the first couple of chapters because of the nature of the plot. Hopefully the last couple chapters will make it worth it. Let me know what you think. This is all unbeta'd so any and all feedback is much appreciated. (PS it took me longer to write the summary than it did the fic... if you can think of a better one PLEASE let me know lol)
> 
> Thanks for reading.
> 
> You can find me on tumblr @ haughts-bulletproofvest if you're so inclined.


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